Issue 304/ September 2010

NEWS DE MUSIQUE

Rita: While Lolita fantasizes about being a rock star drummer, I’ll deliver the news that you won’t get from any TV channel. Why do we love GAVIN, host of WZBC’s local music show Mass. Ave. and Beyond? Because he makes cookies for all his musical guests. *** The Alchemist in Jamaica Plain closed in June and is looking for a new home. *** While in Lowell we saw a political poster that read Chris Doherty for State Senate. This couldn’t be the beer-guzzlin’ Chris Doherty who leads Gang Green? *** JORDAN TISHLER has moved his operation of Digital Bear studio from Jamaica Plain to Cambridge (1035 Cambridge St). *** Armegeddon Shop of Providence has taken over Twisted Village in Harvard Square. *** CASEY DESMOND was signed as Harpo’s new composer and was chosen as the 2010 Sonicbids.com marketing model. She was named one of New Music Seminar’s 2010 Artists to Watch and is currently co-writing with ROBERT ELLIS ORRALL (Ke$ha, Taylor Swift, Lindsay Lohan). She also got to open for the B-52s at the Cape Cod Melody Tent this summer. *** THE NEIGHBORHOODS have released a 29-track two-CD set, The Last Rat, of live cuts from their last show at the legendary Ratskeller in 1992. *** The WFNX (101.7fm) local music show hosted by DAVE DUNCAN has taken on a new name and time. Listen to Boston Accents on Sundays 8-10pm. *** The International Songwriting Competition (ISC) has put together a prestigious judging panel (including Peter Gabriel, Tom Waits, and Steve Winwood). ISC is giving away more than $150,000 in cash and prizes (shared among the 66 winners), so if you’ve got a good song, head over to songwritingcompetition.com. *** Punks for a Princess is a nonprofit charity organization started in memory of seven-year old Kaitlyn Ferra, who tragically passed away on August 7, 2008. On September 3^rd and 5^th at Club Hell, and September 4^th at the Beachcomber (in Quincy) the third annual benefits will take place. For a list of the participating punks, go to punksforaprincess.com. *** SWITCHBLADE SUICIDE had a good summer—they got to open for KISS, CHEAP TRICK, and SQUEEZE. *** Could local musician STEVEN TYLER (Aerosmith) be the next judge on American Idol? *** Stingray Body Art celebrated its fifth anniversary in August. *** To celebrate the 50th Bandwidth TV episode, CCTV had a 25-hour Bandwidth TV marathon. *** FRED SHRIGLEY has been running the Rhumb Line in Gloucester for 32 years. Before that he owned the Wayward Duck, and before that he started In A Pig’s Eye in 1972. *** CLUB GALLERY in Providence celebrates its 45th anniversary of bringing music to the gay community. *** TIM CASEY (Low Budget Records) has a new Boston cable TV show on BNN called Transmission Hour—Boston Music. *** The Rhumb Line in Gloucester is celebrating its 30th year of operation. *** Cellist KRISTEN MILLER is composing a soundtrack, to be performed live, for the short film At Land by Maya Deren. It will premier on Sunday, October 17, 6:00 pm at the Shalin Liu Performing Arts Center in Rockport, as part of the Cape Ann Film Festival. Kristen is opening for the ALLOY ORCHESTRA who will be doing their wonderful live score to Metropolis. *** SHAUN WOLF WORTIS and PAUL AHLSTRAND are re-scoring an old Fleischer Studios cartoon from 1930 called Swing You Sinners! The live performance of the score will be on Sat. Oct 30, at the Lizard Lounge, as part of Wolf’s Rhythm & Blues Halloween. *** On a serious note, our writer AJ WACTEL was rushed to the hospital straight from the House of Blues. In emergency surgery he had 25 percent of his colon removed. And had two more emergency returns to the hospital. He was stabilized when we spoke to him and he was right on his assignments. *** Two of our friends had knee surgery this summer: DIANE YOUNG (the Center for the Arts in Natick) and CHUCK ROSINA (WMBR/ WMFO). Lolita: We know we’ll see them running again soon.

HOW DID WE GET TO BE 30?

Rita: Speaking of running, how the heck did this magazine manage to keep running for 30 years? Lolita: I’ll have to take all the credit, mainly because of my modesty. Everyone just loves me! Rita: Why don’t you get some more realistic answers from our friends? Lolita: Will do. I love it when people talk about me. Hey Liz, please tell everyone how the Noise managed to stay afloat for 30 years. LIZ BORDEN (Liz Borden Band): The fact that the magazine has written and supported all types of local music. It is not a closed-minded publication that caters to one type of music. It also helps that T Max is a musician and a big part of the music scene. The writing and photography duties have been shared with other musicians, writers, and photographers but T Max has always kept a creative eye on the magazine. I like the gossip, the reviews, and that fact it helps keep me up on the scene. *** PETER RINNING (QRSTs): The Noise has always been awesome. They tell it like it is. If the music sucks, the writers have no problem saying so. If the music is awesome, they will let you know. There are ALWAYS interesting letters to the editor. The people who read the Noise are passionate, have a voracious appetite for music and are rabid followers of what they like. There are always good interviews with new bands that you might not have heard of, but would like instantly; great live reviews and music reviews are just the norm for this paper! The one bad thing is the centerfold—boring. Put a flexi disc in the paper once in a while... No wait—that is so ’80s—put a website where you can get an exclusive free download courtesy of the Noise in the paper. *** LINDA VIENS (Angeline): The Noise has maintained its special status as Boston’s longest running music magazine because of its unwavering devotion to current, vibrant, original, LOCAL talent. The Noise has consistently championed the incredible wealth of music that is always happening right here, right now in our fair city, regardless of the wider world of the music “industry” and its recognition or not of our supremely talented artists. As an artist who put down roots in Boston many moons ago, I am deeply grateful for the support I have always received from the Noise, and for access to information about the bright and beautiful talented ones who continue to illuminate and entertain. Thank you so much, T! *** MR. CURT (Mr. Curt Ensemble): Dedication, perseverance, humility, inclusion, relevance, growth and development, community connection, (hi-n-low) humor, small talk and gossip, profound/useless information and perpetual interest in all things local and musical, and a truly gracious love for the hometown scene and what it achieves month-by-month. A fine writing staff that displays wisdom, opinion, talent, and personal flair for critique. Also, maybe low-overhead with some self-sacrifice, a great advertising base of businesses and bands, and never-ending opportunities for egotism and major/minor mass adulation. The Noise has been right for so long, it seems second nature. It always starts at the top, with vision and desire. So glad you’re here! Bravo to T Max, of course! *** KIER BYRNES (Three Day Threshold): I think the main reason for the Noise being around so long is that T Max needed a good excuse to take pictures of scantily clad, hot local rocker chicks, and thus, the Noise centerfold. Lolita: Kier, I think you’re right. I was the centerfold one time. And yes, T Max shot me scantily clad in Fenway Park.

MUSICAL CHAIRS

Rita: Actually if you check the centerfold of Lolita very closely you’ll see that she isn’t in Fenway Park at all. It was all a Photoshop job. CHRIS PEARSON is now playing with the psych/shoegazy pop MAGIC SHOPPE. *** BABY STRANGE (who was on the cover of the Noise issue #239) reunited with the help of SHRED bringing them to the Middle East on July 9 and July 10. *** THE SUN LEE SUNBEAM broke up over the summer playing their last two shows at the Middle East and Great Scott. Look for new beaming projects in the works. *** ABUNAI! did their reunion thing this summer at Deep Haven Now in Union Square. *** BIM SKLA BIM did a four-day reunion string of New England gigs in early August. *** DAVE TREE is leading a J. Geils Band tribute called BLOW YOUR FACE OUT. *** MATT GRATON has replaced ADAM CROTEAU on bass in PINSKY. *** ROGER MILLER (Mission of Burma/Alloy Orchestra) is part of MMW (not to be confused with Medeski, Martin & Woods) with his brother BENJAMIN MILLER (modified guitar with preparations and electronics), and MATT WESTON (percussion and electronics). They released Post Out, a live performance from 10/19/08 at the Outpost in Cambridge. *** THE PRENUPS, “the best wedding band that isn’t really a wedding band,” consist of MIKE GENT (the Figgs), JED PARISH (Gravel Pit), PETE CALDES (Gravel Pit), and ED VALAUSKAS (Jenny Dee & the Deelinquents). Almost makes you want to get married just to have them play at the reception. *** CASEY DESMOND has a duet folk side project with ROBERT “JESS” DETTMANN called THE WOODS COLT. They have a CD release party on 9/19 at the Magic Room. Lolita: I don’t think we should give any publicity to Casey because I wanted to be the SonicBids marketing model. I mean, just because she’s a lot younger than me, and a lot prettier, and okay, maybe I have a bad attitude but still I would have picked me because of my modesty, and because I really deserved it!

I VOTED FOR O’BOMBER

Rita: Wow, Lolita is on the floor flapping around like a fish out of water. She’s enacting a classic hissy fit. Well, I can find something much more worthwhile to get upset about. President Obama is taking credit for keeping his promise to wind down the Iraq war—when all he’s really done is moved the war over a couple of borders and escalated it. He tries to impress us with figures of how many soldiers have returned since he’s been in office. He doesn’t mention how many more have been sent to risk their lives. The question is, what are we really doing in the Middle East and why is this war worth the trillion spent on it and over a million lives lost because of it? Lolita: (quickly out of her fit) Are you kidding me? That is such a loaded question. But let’s see what others have to say about it. CHUCK U. ROSINA (WMBR/ WMFO): Wow. That’s a mouth full, but the short answer is that it isn’t worth all that money and lives lost. We are the only remaining superpower, with military bases around the world. That fact alone gives recruitment to the terrorists. End war now by removing the American targets in foreign lands. *** DAVE TREE (SuperPower): The reason why we are where we are in the Middle East is because of oil, and the oil companies have our government in a death grip, Bush/Cheney were in the oil business and profited off the war for oil it really doesn’t matter what party is in power. Big Oil gets what it wants and if Obama tries to stop them they will drop him with a shot. *** KAREN DeBIASSE (Girl On Top): Just keep remembering that Obama is not doing anything. He is just a puppet and was put in power by an invisible network and he is just carrying out “their” agenda. He is the fall guy. So, it has nothing to do with Obama or his administration... it has to do with what agenda’s his bosses wanted to carry out and that is why they put him in as president in the first place. He probably was groomed from birth and probably a blood relative in some way. Since this is a lie, everything else is. If you’ve never listened to Alex Jones check him out at infowars.com. *** WILLIE LOCO ALEXANDER (Persistence of Memory Orchestra/ the Boom Boom Band): The war is business as usual. The death industry vs life. Oil trumps children, oceans, words... ahhgghhh. *** PETE CASSANI (the Peasants): First, and let’s be perfectly clear, I love our black, socialist, Muslim president! I think he’s doing the best job any man could possibly do given the horrendous mess he inherited from the previous failed, incompetent, corrupt, unelected administration. Oil companies, together with weapons manufacturers, financial and insurance companies, banks and other large corporations run the United States. This hasn’t been a representative democracy since the end of World War II, so that’s why we’re still in Iraq. It’s not up to us. The USA is run by corporations and this is what the corporations want. *** BRIAN KING (What Time Is It, Mr. Fox?): For many years the U.S.A. has basically been a dumb cop. We try to intervene in conflicts with little knowledge of the situation and a less than superficial “strategy” for a solution. Then we try to repair the escalation we caused by using the same technique that started it. Unfortunately, our nationalist “team spirit” won’t let us collaborate with the world in any meaningful way, so our single-minded ideology continues to ruin lives and betray the trust of those who have dedicated their lives to our broken system of government. But hey, the TVs are good. Rita: Let me quote the 34th President of the United Sates, Dwight D. Eisenhower: “Guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence by the military complex. The potential for the disastrous rise of misplaces power exists and will persist. Only an alert and knowledgeable citizenry can compel the proper meshing of the huge industrial and military machinery of defense with our peaceful methods and goals, so that security and liberty may prosper together.” I think Dwight didn’t realize that the military complex would take on a powerful partner in greedy corporations once the corporations saw that war was profitable.

ALL GOIN’ OUT TOGETHER

Lolita: It looks like a great time for us to go out together. Rita: Yeah, better take in the good music while we can. JENNY DEE & THE DEELINQUENTS bring the ’60s girl-group sound to Johnny D’s on Thursday, 9/9. *** I HAVE EARS plays the Midway on Friday, 9/10. *** On that same night MELLOW BRAVO and GOZU execute a double CD release at the Middle East Downstairs. *** SUNDAY SAINTS release their debut CD, Van Van & Cleo May, on Saturday, 9/11, at the House of Blues. *** INGE BERGE activates the Dogbar in Gloucester on Sunday, 9/12. *** ERIC MARTIN & THE ILLYRIANS play LISA CONOLLY’s Birthday Bash at the Cantab on Friday, 9/17. *** The Noise 30th Anniversary Party featuring WILLIE ALEXANDER, T MAX (CD release) and BARBARA KOEN is at the Blackburn Performing Arts in Gloucester on Saturday, 9/18. *** Last month’s covergirl ANAIS MITCHELL is at the Colonial Theatre in Bethlehem, NH, on Saturday, 9/25. *** Same night IAN ADAMS is part of the Midriff Records showcase at Precinct Bar. *** On Sunday, 9/26, THALIA ZEDEK’s COME, the original lineup, is at T.T. the Bear’s. *** Every Sunday night at the Grog in Newburyport check out Parker’s Blues Party. Lolita: Hey, hey, schoolboy hope to run into you. Rita: Please not with your car. Support New England musicians—they are the best.

Comments?

OUR EYES ON YOU: July 2010

Rita: You should see my melons! Lolita: What?! Rita: Everyone is envious of my Charantais! Lolita: Did you say Sharon Tate? Isn’t she the actress who was done in by Charles Manson? Rita: No, I’m talking about my melons. Lolita: Remember that T Max wants us to clean up our repartee. Rita: Hey! I rinse the soil off my melons everyday. Don’t want any bugs infesting them. Lolita: Now you’re getting creepy. Rita: Okay then, let’s get down and dirty. I’m talking about the dirt of the earth and the sweat you build up by working with your hands in the soil to bring new life to flowers and vegetables. Will you stop with all the faces, Lolita, and find out who’s into gardening? Lolita: Okay, but I’m going to leave out all the dirty parts.

R+L303EliReed.jpg

IN MY GARDEN

Lolita: Ahh, Liz, please help me—I think I may have caught some bugs from Rita. She’s all dirty and wants to know if you’re doing anything in the garden this year. LIZ BORDEN (Liz Borden Band): I am an urban farmer. I have a city garden plot and I am growing a variety of eggplant, zucchini, summer squash, all kinds of tomatoes, cucumbers, a variety of peppers, lettuce, pumpkins, watermelon, strawberries, basil, sage, and flowers. I plan to live off the food for the summer! *** CORIN ASHLEY (Corin Ashley): Harrison and I planted a variety of tomatoes—some in the ground and some in the Topsy Turvy hanging planters—and we have some nice lettuce, string beans, and carrots coming up as well. Mostly, Harrison likes to point out to everybody that there is poop in the fertilizer. *** KAREN DeBIASSE (Girl On Top): We can’t talk about that... but, really. I’ve decided on no real plants this year. It’s too hard watering them sometimes twice a day, not being able to take a vacation because of the plants, and then having them die anyway in the winter. I have my own private tropical paradise right in my Somerville backyard with plants that look real but are tropical fakes. *** SAMMY MIAMI (Houndstone): I’ve been farming a rock garden for as long as I can remember. For the last five years I was growing guitar players, but recently I’ve been planting for bassists and drummers. Even though most of my crops eventually uproot and join other gardens, I’ve had pretty good luck considering there’s no sunlight. *** RUBY BIRD (Bird Mancini): Flowers and berries to attract birds, bees, and butterflies! No veggies this year, since Bird Mancini is doing a Farmer’s Market Fresh Produce Tour this summer. We’ll have ample opportunity to buy good food direct from farmers who are much better at growing it than I am! *** PETER MOORE (Count Zero): Why, yes, funny you should ask. Lettuce, spinach, kale, arugula, beets, carrots, bush beans, radishes, tomatoes, basil, cilantro, cucumbers, broccoli, parsley, spearmint, and celery. *** FRANCIS DIMENNO (Wrong Hero/ the Noise): Sugar snap peas, tomatoes, pumpkins, zucchini, leeks, summer squash, oregano, basil, watermelon, and Turkish black carrots courtesy of Dave McMahon. *** MS. DONNA (Lowbudget Records photographer): For our petite garden, we have put in two tomato selections: Early Girl and Big Boy. We also have our perennial crop of herbs: basil, chives, mint, oregano, parsley, and sage. Mmmm-mmm—good eatin’ ahead! *** LINDA VIENS (Angeline): In my sweet backyard garden I am growing all kinds of flowers, peonies, flox, roses, etc., and also a gorgeous herb garden filled with chives, tarragon, parsley, basil, oregano, many kinds of mint, thyme, and of course, catnip, for the head cat of the house! Lolita: I didn’t know Linda was running a brothel. I could use some work. Rita: She’s talking about her feline! Lolita: Yeah, isn’t that a French fräulein?

MUSIC NEWS

Rita: While Lolita ruins languages that she doesn’t understand, I’ll serve you the news... JENNY DEE & THE DEELINQUENTS were in the June issue of Spin magazine—featured in the “Songs You Must Hear Now” section on page 48! *** House of Blues (Lansdowne Street) is now booking local music in the front room. Bands interested in playing the venue should contact JOSH ALLAIN at This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it . *** Guitar Center and KISS have come up with a plan to get 22 bands from local markets across the States to engage in a competition to open for the next KISS tour. Then Kiss will pick their favorite opener to win a $10,000 shopping spree at Guitar Center. Register at GCOnstage.com before September 1. *** WMBR went off the air for about 12 hours on June 1^st after lightning hit their transmitter. *** HAVE NOTS opened for DROPKICK MURPHYS’ tour of the southeast during June. *** Ironic North Shore Music Booking Agency was recently launched. If you’re a venue looking for bands or a band/artist looking to be booked, contact LINDA SOMMA at This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it . *** If you couldn’t get into see ALLOY ORCHESTRA play their score for Metropolis, they’re doing it again on March 5, 2011. Their score will also finally be included on a DVD (released by Kino) of the classic film. *** MUCK & THE MIRES played the Steve Katsos Show in June. *** Low Budget Records of Roslindale, Massachusetts, celebrated their 31^st anniversary. *** KEVIN HOSKINS, booker for the Middle East for the past seven years, has taken the job of booking Emo’s in Austin, Texas. KIERAN FALLON graduates from box office manager to Downstairs booker. We wish both Kevin and Kieran the best of luck in their new ventures. *** The Boston Blues Society is having their 2010 Boston Blues Challenge at Johnny D’s in October. All interested bands should go to www.bostonblues.com to register and to see more info. *** Remember BLEU? The guy who sang a song saying he’d never move to Hollywood, then he did. Well, he now has a song called “B.O.S.T.O.N.” Listen to the demo at http://soundcloud.com/bleutopia/bleu-b-o-s-t-o-n-demo. *** Girls Rock Camp (8/2-8/7), founded by Boston musicians MARY LOU LORD and HILKEN MANCINI is designed to teach girls between the age of 8-16, self esteem through music, creation and performance. For more info go to girlsrockboaton.org. *** Every Wednesday afternoon from 1-2pm Passim presents free outdoor lunchtime concerts in both Harvard Square (outside Passim) and Kendal Square (in the courtyard of Cambridge Center Plaza). *** Stay tuned for the 50th episode of Bandwidth TV, featuring RAZORS IN THE NIGHT, which will air throughout August. To commemorate this landmark, there will be a 25-hour Bandwidth TV marathon, beginning Friday, August 6 at 11:30 pm on CCTV Channel 10. Catch up with every Bandwidth episode ever produced. Lolita: Next issue we plan to write about MARISSA ACOSTA, who heads up Bandwidth TV.

PARENTS’ DAY

Rita: Have you ever heard of Parents’ Day? It’s an official holiday on July 25. I figured I better ask people how this holiday should be celebrated… JASON DUGUAY (Project Sound): Warm Budweiser, cold champagne and a heavy heart. *** MARK KAYE (Hear Now Live): I honestly feel like my five year old son (Mark, Jr.) should go all out on me this year for Parents Day. What I would like to see done is breakfast in bed, the yard work done, all the month’s booking for Hear Now Live done and maybe a gift certificate to a bed and breakfast so I can get away from all the mayhem and take my girlfriend out of my world for a day or two. This would be the perfect Parents Day gift to me from Junior and that is how this year’s Parents’ Day should be celebrated. *** FRANK E. BUTKUS (the Freeways): On Parents’ Day allow the minimum 30-minute phone call. Mail a card with money. Or bake a cake and allow the minimum two-hour visit. Lolita: Is this advice coming from the parent angle or the child angle? Frank: It applies to both, yet children should send cash only. Parents could send cash or check. *** DAVID KIRKDORFFER (the Blank Attack/ UNDO): How to celebrate Parents’ Day? By paying your Pa’s rent, of course. *** DAVID DELUCA (Highway Ghosts): Spend the day with your parents, have a couple of drinks and just talk! No TV, no Internet... just catch up on actually conversing with each other. Most of us get so busy with our daily grind that we forget to connect to those closest to us. *** KIER BYRNES (Three Day Threshold): Unfortunately, I’ll be in classroom all day attending a seminar that’s part of my Law and Policy doctorate program. I would suggest other people do something more fun. Lolita: Kier, that will be so much fun when we can start calling you Dr. Byrnes. Rita: Doctor Byrnes you’re needed in the O.R. It appears from an X-ray that you left your guitar pick inside your heart transplant patient.

MUSICAL CHAIRS

Lolita: Okay, we know that Kier Byrnes is not going to be that kind of doctor, but maybe I’ll let him examine me anyway. I think I may have two lumps, but maybe they’re just bumps in my breasts. Rita: Lolita, you’re a pathetic slut. Lolita: Would it make any difference if I were a capable slut? Rita: A slut is a slut. Now let’s find out about some musicians active in playing musical chairs… ADAM BOUCHARD (x-Veronica Black Morphius Nipple), RONAN FAHY (x-Pyotr), ERIC DONAHUE (x-Ad Frank & the Fast Easy Women.), and JASON BREWER now play together as COOLING TOWERS. *** ZAC TAYLOR (Three Day Threshold) is playing as a solo artist and released his CD, Salesman, recently. *** BOBBY GAUDREAU & THE BLUE SPOTLIGHT is BOBBY GAUDREAU (the Queers/ Facts About Rats), JIM DELIOS (the Voodoo Dolls), MATT GILBERT (Harlequin) and BRIAN PACKER (the Marvels). *** DYS reunites at Club Lido on 8/29. The performance will be part of the upcoming film, xxx ALL AGES xxx. Also included in the film are JERRY’S KIDS, GANG GREEN, and THE FUs. *** THE FUTURE EVERYBODY is NATE ROGERS (Scamper), MIKE MIRABELLA (Scamper), MATT GIRARD (Motion Sick), along with newcomers MORGAN TERRINONI and VERONICA DALE. *** KEVIN McMAHON is leaving the Rationales following the birth of his son. The Rationales will continue to work as a four piece while they search for a new second guitarist. *** BILL BRACKEN (Age Against the Machine), DEEK (x-WBCN), and TIM LOWMAN put together a side project called ANKLELOCK. They added GARY CHERONE (x-Van Halen/ Extreme) on vocals and now have a hit (#27) on the charts in Finland with “Comin’ to Get You.” Lolita: Isn’t that what JIMI HENDRIX says near the end of “Foxy Lady”? You do know he wrote that song about me?

OIL IN THE GULF

Rita: While Lolita digs deep into her twisted imagination, I’m going to ask about the oil spill. Lolita: I heard you talking about that spot of olive oil on my skirt? Rita: Lolita, you’re helpless. How did you get through life this far with that mind of yours? Lolita: When you have a body like mine, you don’t need a mind. Rita: Well, excuse me, but I’m going to continue to talk about that spot on your dress. The oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico certainly should be a wake up call on our dependency on oil and the lack of regulations that protect our planet’s eco systems? You’re the president—what should be done? KEN FIELD (Revolutionary Snake Ensemble/ Birdsongs of the Mesozoic): Increased federal support of renewable energy technology research, supported by an increase in the federal gasoline tax! We still pay way less for our gas than most of the rest of the world. *** DAVE TREE (SuperPower/ Tree): I would legalize weed, grow it in large quantities, use it as a rotator crop then turn hemp into ethanol. Make BP pay. Make Haliburton pay. And put the oil companies out of business. We don’t need them, we never did. We can grow our own fuel that burns cleaner—grow GREEN! *** SIMON RITT (the Darlings): Air Force One consumes five gallons of fuel per mile, costing U.S. taxpayers some $56,000.00 per flying hour. If I were president I’d lead by example and stop using it frivolously such as for date nights with Michelle, phony baloney Town Hall meetings or zipping over to Chicago just to have his haircut by favorite barber. I am certain that there are barbers In Washington, DC. Or better yet—I’ll cut his hair for him, then his doo would look as good as mine. He’d be one styling Kenyan! *** JASON WILSON (J. Weatherman & the Praire Fire): Pull out of Iraq and Afghanistan immediately. Use the money we’ve now saved in “defense” dollars to get smart people to fix the problem, independently of Big Oil. Then hand a nice invoice to British Petroleum to pay for all of the damages. We can make the executives themselves get on hand and knee with toothbrushes to clean every square inch of the Gulf. When that’s finished, we use every cent left to ship all the Big Oil folks to Monster Island while we really utilize renewable energy without those meddling kids around. *** MATT OZ (Aloha Sarcophagus): Declare state of emergency, take control of all troops and instate yourself as the socialist leader for life, resurrect Castro and murder your enemies. The oil thing will take care of itself. *** EDRIE (Walter Sickert & the Army of Broken Toys): North Dakota is a gigantic wind tunnel—I’d harness that energy using thousands of wind turbines to fuel our brand new fleet of electric cars! While that was happening I would use Sarah Palin’s merkins to soak up the oil in the gulf. Lolita: Edrie, you are so cute. I never even knew that my little decorative pubic wig was called a merkin. I think I can place my merkin over the oil spill on my dress and no one will even notice it. Isn’t it great how I can come up with a simple solution to an oil spill?

ALL GOIN’ OUT TOGETHER

Rita: Wow. How have I done a column with Lolita for this long and survived? Maybe I should be more sensitive—she might be coming down with Alzhimer’s at her age. Lolita: Back off, Rita! You know I’m 28 and I’m free of any disease. I just want to get that across to all our readers who fantasize about me, especially Paul. Yes, Paul who sent a comment to us on this website—we included his comment in our incoming mail column in the print issue. Paul, if you want to come stare at me, I’ll be at the following shows… Every Sunday in July INGE BERGE resides at the Dog Bar in Gloucester. *** GREG HAWKES is joined by Real School students at Johnny D’s on Thursday, 7/1. *** EVERYDAY VISUALS play the Middle East Downstairs on Friday, 7/2. *** DREAMCHILD is at the Cantab on Saturday, 7/10. *** ROBBY ROADSTEAMER, I mean ROB POTYLO releases his new CD at T.T. the Bear’s on Thursday, 7/15. *** Same night, get funky with NIGHTIME GALLAGHER at Zuzu. *** On Friday, 7/16, SHAUN WOLF WORTIS presents the 17^th annual Bastile Day a-Go-Go starring his Vudu Krewe and All Star Band at Precinct. *** There's an all-ages All Day Heavy Metal BBQ at the Midway on Saturday, 7/17. The show starts at 4:00 with DUNCAN WILDER JOHNSON's new band BRING THE KNIFE. *** JENEE HALSTEAD plays the Hard Rock Café, Boston, on Thursday, 7/29. *** On Friday, 7/30, AL SHEINFELD and JIM FOLEY have put ogether Monsters of the Midway—Joe Coughlin Benefit. Joe's health has gone south and a bunch of heavy hitters will step up to the stage for him. *** AGE OF END hits Oxxfest at Wiscasset Raceway on Saturday, 7/31. *** That same night THE RUDDS return to Johnny D’s. *** WILLIE ALEXANDER plays the Rhumb Line on Thursday, 8/12, with BILLY LOOSIGIAN. *** NEPTUNE makes noise at Great Scott on Wednesday, 8/14. *** The Salem Jazz and Soul Festival begins on Saturday, 8/21. One of the many-featured artists is MISS TESS & THE BON TON PARADE. Rita: Have a great summer. Check thenoise-boston in August—we’ll have a surprise for you. Lolita: I know you; you’re probably planning to show them your melons. Rita: Close—I think my tomatoes will be more impressive. See you in the clubs and at the festivals!

Comments?

OUR EYES ON YOU: June 2010

Rita: Yes, we’re in full swing with gorgeous weather, the Sox getting it together, and the clubs filling up every night for the great talent in New England. Lolita: Well, you certainly sound like a cheerleader. Rita: I guess it’s because I knew you couldn’t do the cheerleading with that winter belly you put on. Lolita: That’s not a winter belly. It’s an ice cream belly. Rita: Looks like a beer gut to me. Lolita: You can think what you want. I’ve been eating Yo Tango—a no-fat delight found at my favorite local ice cream chain. Rita: Hey, maybe you have a question of the month there. Lolita: Yes—what is my favorite local ice cream chain? Rita: No. Let’s find out everyone’s favorite ice cream place. Lolita: Okay, but none of them will have Yo Tango except for the best one.

SEAWEED ICE CREAM

Lolita: Hey Slimedog, doesn’t one of your demons sell ice cream? I mean, what’s your favorite ice cream place? SLIMEDOG (the Noise): Some like Ron’s Bowling Alley in Hyde Park but I like Zortar’s Ice Cream Truck the best. Their Seaweed Swirl (vanilla ice cream with seaweed in it like fudge ripple) is out of this world! So to speak. *** JESSE VON KENMORE (the Marvels): Homemade peach ice cream at my grandaddy’s house in LaGrange, Georgia. There were peach, pecan and fig trees in the yard, ya’ll. It was heaven. *** PETER RINNIG (QRST’s): Emack and Bolio’s. Their ice cream and smoothies are the BEST! One of their stores is a five-minute walk from my house... nothing like a moose tracks ice cream after dinner! *** BOB MAHONEY (Rockin’ Bob’s Guitars): Howard Johnson’s... they used to be the Host of the Highways, now they are few and far between but their ice cream was awesome! Try the fudge ripple... you don’t know what you’re missing. *** CASEY DESMOND (Casey Desmond): Peaceful Meadows Abington—yum! *** DEDE BOOTH (Sententia): I grew up on Brigham’s and will always consider them my favorite ice cream place. It’s hard for them not to be, after all, I went to high school with Brigham’s being right behind the football field and couldn’t resist getting mint chocolate chip with jimmies. Not only is their ice cream good, but they’re raspberry lime rickies are badass. *** MR. CURT (Mr. Curt Ensemble): Ron’s Gourmet Ice Cream in Cleary Square, Hyde Park (just minutes from my house) has been here for almost 30 years. Old-fashioned homemade taste and unbelievably delicious in many flavors. Also includes a bowling alley! Trés cool. *** CLAY N. FERNO (leaguepodcast.com): J.P. Licks in J.P. No doubt the best place for the sugary sweet stuff with your sugary sweet mate! Lolita: Ahh, finally someone I can go with to get my Yo Tango! And Clay, thank you for considering me your sugary sweet mate. That is what you meant, right?

NEWS

Rita: Well, while Clay and Lolita get their licks in, I’ll give you the news I dug up while I wasn’t eating ice cream. JOHN HOVORKA (the Turbines) has released his first novel—The Story of Johnny Wylde. It is about rock ‘n’ roll in the 1980s. *** ASA BREBNER is now offering guitar lessons since his last daytime gig, painting houses, was hit with laws that can lead up to fines of $37,000 for not complying with a complicated set of rules, guidelines, and paperwork. *** The bands that made it to the Rock Showdown finals are AWESOME EXPRESS (from Wellesley, Needham, and Newton), THE JESSICA PROUTY BAND (from Marblehead), THE DEADLY STYLES (from Sudsbury) and BLINDFOLD ASIDE (from Boston). *** CHRISTOPHER PAPPAS (Everyday Visuals) is conducting The Hark! Philharmonic. *** Lawless Records has released a split 45 (yes, that’s vinyl) with Boston punk legends UNNATURAL AXE and THE NASTIES from Italy. Unnatural Axe songs include “I Am the Way” (their first newly recorded material in over 28 years) and a cover of the Nasties “Back To L.A.” *** Bristol Voice Studios has opened a new branch in Worcester. Call PATRICE PERIS to schedule your free voice lesson (774-275-0564). *** MICHAEL MAROTTA has left the Boston Herald to start his own nightlife agency, Vanya MMC, which will provide marketing, management and consulting for bands, DJs, parties, venues, and restaurants. *** The Rock Off finals in Portland chose LOW-FLYING PLANES the best high school band in Maine. *** LANSDOWNE has toured for the USO and Armed Forces Entertainment partnerships. It has brought them overseas to the Middle East and around the country to play for our troops. *** Walt Disney Music All-Stars Resort has begun playing AIR TRAFFIC CONTROLLER’s music throughout the theme park. Lolita: I wonder if they recorded the Mickey Mouse theme song?

FATHER’S FATHER

Rita: Do you know who Mickey Mouse’s grandfather was? Lolita: Ooo, that’s a good trivia question. Rita: Well, we’re not going to ask that question. I want to know something about your father’s father. Jonathan—you’re first in line—tell me something about your dad’s dad. JONATHAN WEINER (M-Works): He conducted (was music director) the Workman’s Circle chorus at a May Day celebration in the Polo Grounds in New York in the 1940’s in front of 40,000 people ...Lazar Weiner. *** ERIC WELSH (Chillhouse Recording Studios/ Eman Music, Inc.): He used to like to strap a dog’s electrical fence collar around his leg and run through the electric field to feel the shock. It eventually became a local community sport until the authorities found out and shut the operation down. *** DJ MATHEW GRIFFIN (the Noise): My father’s father was John J. Griffin, Jr. A tough-as-nails 29-year veteran of the Medford Police Department’s special detective unit. He was highly decorated for solving many cases. After his heart attack in 1972, he resigned and then took my grandmother, Nana June, on trips around the world, for the final two and a half decades of their lives. They were married for 60 years and Nana June was buried on June 1st. My grandfather followed soon thereafter. One of my last memories of him, alone one night, was a story he confessed to me, about forcing one brother against another—to “rat him out” on a crime the other brother had committed, which sent his own brother away for life. I had never seen Grampy cry before then. *** JON MACEY (Fox Pass): My father’s father was a country singer in upstate New York. Dick Hall & the Melody Ramblers. He made radio records in the late ’40s and early ’50s. He eventually became a popular square dance caller. He never stopped playing gigs until he had a stroke age 75 after a show in 1978. He was my role model as a child. I wish I had played music with him back when I still could have. We sang “Hey Good Looking” together the year before he had the stroke. *** AD FRANK (…& the Fast Easy Women/ Lifestyle): Leroy Winslow Frank played Santa Claus in various Auburn/Lewiston, Maine area department stores, as well the annual Lewiston Christmas Parade. The beard and the paunch were real, and the kids in the neighborhood actually thought he was Santa Claus. They called my grandmother Mrs. Claus and thought the goats he raised were reindeer. That’s Maine for you. He also played Heidi’s grandfather at Storyland for a summer. *** CORIN ASHLEY (…& the Houndogs): This is a photo of my paternal grandfather, Walter Chewning, on the USS Enterprise aircraft carrier, November 10, 1943. He is is climbing up the plane’s side to assist the pilot from the burning aircraft with a ruptured fuel tank. When I was eight years old, the Navy sent a film canister to my school with footage of this event. *** KIER BYRNES (Three Day Threshold): Son of Irish immigrants, my dad’s dad grew up during the great depression. To help his family survive, he kept a garden, growing tomatoes, raspberries, asparagus, rhubarb, and radishes. He had cherry and pear trees too, but the birds ate most of the cherries, nobody ate the pears. He was mainly a meat and potatoes guy but he also liked cow’s tongue, Brussels sprouts, herring, and pickled pig’s feet. He did not eat spaghetti or ravioli. He smoked at least two packs of cigarettes every day, and drank more than he should have. He was very religious; after graduating from Holy Cross, he entered the seminary, though he did not stay. He awoke at 6:30 each day to teach Latin in high school though he’d sleep in on weekends, somehow always making the 11:00 am Mass. He could also play the piano by ear and had small feet. *** AJ WACHTEL (bostonblues.com): My dad’s dad lived till he was 99 and since he outlived my dad by 10 years I spent a lot of time with him when I was in my late 20s. He had a quiet sense of humor and lived alone and had a Phillipino maid who came in a few times a week and she was a loud mouth know-it-all. So one day, she says something and I break in immediately and ask her if she’s familiar with the myth of the ancient Greek god Testacles, but I said it as “testa-KLEASE.” After a few seconds she replied, “No, I’ve never heard of Testa-klease,” and my grandfather and I both cracked up. I never asked him if he laughed ’cause I got one over on the smart-ass housecleaner or if he got my word play and play on the loud mouth immigrant. Two generations of Wachtels seperated by 60 years of debauchery. *** ANDY MILK (the Vital Might): My family says that the musicality and quirkiness of my father’s father skipped a generation down to me. He played piano for 80 years, all self-taught, starred on Broadway, and often strolled on Main Street in Hyannis in his later years, always with his trademark red bag. If I can accomplish half of what he did, that sounds like a pretty good life to me! *** SAMMY MIAMI (Houndstone) My father’s father was a musician and an inventor. He used to set up a makeshift recording studio in the living room to record his accordion. He painted “Quiet Please Recording Studio” on the back of a mirror in the front hall. When he was recording, he’d turn the mirror around so my dad and his siblings wouldn’t spoil the session. As an inventor he designed and constructed many things, my favorite being a speaker cabinet out of a hamper and a camper out of an Edsel. Music and travel—I’m a lot like my grandfather. Lolita: Is someone tripping to music around the household?

MUSICAL CHAIRS

Lolita: Do people still trip on acid? Do people still do cocaine? Heroin? I know I’m pretty hooked on coffee. I better be careful it may lead to harder stuff. But for now I’ll stick to music. Here is the newer information on bands that has passed our desk recently. BRING THE KNIFE is DUNCAN WILDER JOHNSON’s new band, with PATTIE THE GIMP (guitar), ZAY DOHSE (bass), and EMAN PACHECO (drums). *** At CHAUNCEY’s reunion (Lizard Lounge 5/29) two other bands played that branched out from them—CIRCLE CIRCLE STAR and MY RADIO. *** WALLCREEPER includes ex-members of KARATE, SWIRLIES, CUL DE SAC, and PHARMACISTS. *** BURN THE WITCH was born out of OVERCAST and SEEMLESS. *** Members of FOREST HENDERSON, OKAY THURSDAY, THE MOTION SICK, THE FUTURE EVERYBODY, and NAKED ON ROLLERSKATES have formed THE BACKUP FACTOR. *** THE MILLING GOWNS new shoegazy post-punk line up is M. (vocals), ALLEN ESSER (drums), DAVE STOOPS (bass) and KEVIN HEINOLD (guitar). *** SOCCER MOM once was part of THE SPANISH ARMADA. Rita: So never underestimate a soccer mom. Lolita: Does this have something to do with Sarah Palin?

TEA PARTY

Rita: I don’t think the Republican party will accept Sarah Palin as their nominee for president in 2012, so she’s probably looking for another party. Lolita: Would that be the Tea Party? Rita: Yes, it would. Now let’s find out what people are saying about the Tea Party. Lolita, go ask everyone what they think. Lolita: Shaun, hold up there—tell me what you think about the Tea Party. SHAUN WOLF WORTIS (Jeremiah Weed Foundation): I’m all in favor of people getting involved but there’s nothing about the Tea Party that leads me to believe they’re anything but corporate shills. Remove the nuts and assholes (which exist in any group, right or left), and you’re left with a lot of folks who’ve been led to believe that “big business interests” are the same as “American interests.” This is very wrong in my opinion. *** MATT J (the Bynars): I hate tea and I hate parties. When I play tea party with my neice, it’s pretty fun... but it’s fake tea and it’s a fake party. Tea Party All Nite & Rock & Roll Everyday, like KISS unmasked is what I say. You know they don’t wear masks, right? They wear makeup. They’re always one step ahead of us, aren’t they... messing with our minds... with music certainly, but also with jest. *** FRANK ROWE (Classic Ruins): Well, I think that the Tea Party could have had a better chance but for the rapid moral disintegration of us hippies, Don’s target market. Rampant drugs, lust, and intellectual evanescence meant that we could never truly focus long enough to realize that we were seeing the next huge act, because we were too deep into our navels to grok it. It was for a later, even more dissipated crew to reap the harvest that we were too self-absorbed to glean, but they paid inflated ticket prices in larger venues. Or were you asking about the Fort Point incident? *** MICHAEL SAPORITO (Frank Booth’s Car): Great passion and anger—misguided and irrational reasoning in the actual content. *** DUNCAN WILDER JOHNSON (Trashachusetts/ Bring the Knife): I don’t get it. They hate Obama because they think he did something unconstitutional? They don’t want their fellow Americans to be healthy? Some patriots. *** DAVID KIRKDORFFER (the Blank Attack/ UNDO): The Tea Party, seemingly led by Sarah “Queen of Hearts” Palin, is full of Mad Hatters and March Hares. If the Democratic and Republican parties don’t start enacting changes, someone will steal their tarts! If that happens, let’s hope the Catepillar has some good stuff for us all to smoke. *** KAREN DeBIASSE (Girl On Top): Great... except for infiltrators who will undermine it. *** SIMON RITT (the Darlings): One thing about being in the Darlings is ya’ got to like to party... tea party, birthday party, New Years Eve or a cocktail party who really gives a good God damn as long as there is plenty of booze and ashtrays and that all the nice looking chicks are over eighteen. *** DAVE TREE (SuperPower/ Tree): I went down to the Tea Party event on the Common. First thing I noticed was the Tea Party people hated it when I read their signs. Hated even more when I questioned them. I was told to move on but I made them move on because they couldn’t stand up for what they held up over my head. The second thing I noticed was they didn’t have their facts right, Obama didn’t bankrupt this country, Bush did that, but they want to “Take this country back” back where to the Bush years? *** CHUCK U. ROSINA (WMBR/ WMFO): The Tea Party? On the one hand, I understand their frustrations with big government, but they are more then slightly misguided. Corporate government is more the problem. Get government out of health care? Oh, is it better to leave it in the for-profit insurance sector, where the bottom line is more important then your health? Can’t have government come between me and my doctor, but insurance companies can? That’s too weird. And it gets even weirder when they say don’t cut Medicare, or compare Obama to Hitler. Get a grip on reality. Lolita: It’s the Tea Party—there is no reality.

ALL GOIN’ OUT TOGETHER

Rita: While Lolita is lost in reality, I’m going to sneak out without her. Here’s where I’ll be… THE DARLINGS countrify Johnny D’s on Thursday, 6/3. *** On Friday, 6/4, AXEMUNKEE celebrates Gemini birthdays at the Cantab. *** WHAT TIME IS IT, MR. FOX? performs at the kick off for Boston Gay Pride festival (10:00 am-5:00 pm) in Faneuil Hall on Saturday, 6/5. *** THE INCREDIBLE CASUALS continue to play the Wellfleet Beachcomber—every Sunday throughout the summer (’cept 6/6—Chandler fears this day of the devil). *** There’s an art opening for ANDER CHURCHMAN with FLUFFY LUMBERS supplying the music at Zuzu on Monday, 6/7. *** BLACK HELICOPTER returns to the Middle East on Wednesday, 6/9. *** On Saturday, 6/12, CLYDESDALE COWBOYS russle ’em up at Club Bohemia. *** Same night Hear Now Live! presents McALISTER DRIVE at Precinct. *** Also on that same night DAVE COFFIN releases his new CD, The King is Dead, at Lizard Lounge. *** I HAVE EARS performs at Club Bohemia on Saturday, 6/19. *** On Thursday, 6/24, THREE DAY THRESHOLD rounds ’em up(stairs) at the Middle East. *** Hear Now Live! presents SUPER VOLCANO at Church on Friday, 6/25. *** On Saturday, 6/26, ROCK BOTTOM rocks Johnny D’s. *** Every Thursday in June HEY MAMA holds residency at Precinct. Lolita: Hey—I’ll be there, too! See you in the clubs!

Comments?

OUR EYES ON YOU: May 2010

Rita: April showers bring May flowers. Lolita: Has that boat pulled into port again? Rita: I’m into flowers this year because flowers attract birds. Lolita: And I am transforming into a bird. Rita: I’ll admit you do have a birdbrain, and some people think you’re as pretty as a bird, but I would really just like you to fly away. Lolita: But then you’d be left to write this gossip column by yourself—and I’m not sure you’re capable of that. Rita: Last time you criticized my writing, you landed in the hospital—by accident, of course. Remember that male nurse that really took to you? Lolita: Ahh yes—Robert—he gave me a sponge bath every two hours. Rita: Let’s ask our favorite music-related friends what kind of experiences they’ve had with nurses. Lolita: Well, there’s Dave, Dave, Dave, and Dave—I’ll start out by asking them…

R&L301RubyBird.jpg

NURSES

Lolita: Hey Dave-times-four—tell me a story about a nurse. DAVID MIRABELLA (the Rationales): Recently an older relative was in the hospital, listening to his iPod when a young nurse came in and asked him what he was listening to. “Levon Helm, but you probably don’t know him,” he said, assuming she didn’t know her rock history. She replied “Oh my god! I LOVE the Band and just went to see a Last Waltz tribute show at a club called the Lizard Lounge, but you probably haven’t heard of it.” He got a kick out of the dual wrong assumptions, particularly since he knew the Rationales had played that show. *** DAVID KIRKDORFFER (the Blank Attack/ Undo): My darling sweetheart is a charge nurse in an emergency room. The stories she tells about her work and ERs would horrify you. Like police officers and firefighters, ER nurses are on the front line. Anytime I think I have a bad day at work, I know my “bad day” is tame compared to hers. Nobody dies on me, or needs a catheter inserted, or needs a sponge bath to remove caked on “dirt,” or brings their psychotic family members along, or threatens to sue me. She’s my hero. *** DAVID DELUCA (Highway Ghosts): I have a nurse story. My daughter, Danielle, was born five weeks premature and weighed a mere 3lbs 9oz. She had to stay in the hospital for two weeks. One particular nurse, Bella, really stood out. She told me (in a heavy Russian accent) “you don’t worry about this one… she’s feisty.” Over the next two weeks, Bella taught me all about caring for a premature baby. Her confidence and amazing nursing skills gave my entire family the reassurance that we desperately needed. Lolita: Good answer. David: Thank you. I should also mention that the nurse was right! Danielle is now about 17 lbs and very healthy and happy. *** DAVE TREE (SuperPower/DrugWar/Tree): My grandmother was a nurse and so is my little sister Ellen. She works at Brigham & Women's in the ICU. She called me up one day to visit a terminally ill patient that was a big Tree fan. I went and hung out with him one afternoon and brought him a bunch of cool stuff. He was a great guy. My sister’s gift touched us both very deeply. It was an honor. He passed away a few days later. Doctors can fix you but it’s the nurses that heal you.*** BRIAN KING (What Time Is It, Mr. Fox?):When I was four, I had to stay in Children’s Hospital for awhile. A family friend bought me a toy police set to cheer me up, including handcuffs that could only be unlocked with a key. A very timid nurse on her first day of work soon found herself handcuffed to my bedpost. The key was nowhere to be found. The other nurses had to saw her free as she held back the tears. I publicly apologize for any emotional damage I might have caused. Or if she’s become a dominatrix as a result, I wish her a lucrative career. *** SAMMY MIAMI (Houndstone): My grandmother was a nurse in the United States Army. While stationed overseas during World War II she tended to sick, wounded and dying soldiers. After the war, she raised a family while continuing as a volunteer nurse for disabled veterans. She was a truly amazing woman that I will forever miss. There’s more to the story written in a song I call “Grandma.” *** GENO JOHNSTON (Dead Friends): When I was a kid I had several eye operations. The recovery room at Children’s Hospital in Boston was bewildering because I woke up blind, sick, and terrified. I was probably about seven. Then a nurse came in to take off my patches and she looked exactly like Florence Henderson of the Brady Bunch. And get this! It said Nurse Brady on her nametag! She was kind, comforting, and made the whole process as pleasant as possible. Nurse Brady also let me believe she was in fact Mrs. Brady from the Brady Bunch. Obviously I haven’t forgotten her. *** RICK BERLIN (self): My friend Charlie—sick in Prague: a well-conditioned, hot, middle-aged blonde, tight pantsuit, glossy magazines under one arm, disappears behind a mystery door. One of three on a yellow wall opening and closing like cuckoo clocks. What’s going on in there? Prague porn? She emerges, mild sweat on brow, an elder statesman MD to translate. She dyke-straddles a stainless steel three-legged stool, knees apart, nose in Charlie’s mouth. Ungloved fingers up nostrils, into throat, gums, under tongue—unperturbed. He gags. A twelve-minute exam. Translator exits. Nurse writes up pills. Charlie is oddly pleased. Lolita: What a strange experience. Rick: Sadly, the end results was HIV-positive. *** BILL GOFFRIER (Big Dipper/ the Embarrassment): My favorite ever nurse, Big Dipper bassist/ songwriter/ tour-mom Steve Michener, an RN in the state of Washington. *** FRANCIS DIMENNO (Wrong Hero/ the Noise): At about the age of seven I fell off a slide and was sent to the hospital with a broken wrist and a fractured skull. The doctor had to stitch my scalp without anesthesia, and he kept saying “Just one more... just one more....” The nurse, who was standing by, kept saying, “Stop lying to him, Frank!” Lolita: Ha! I love that. At least now we know how you became the Wrong Hero.

NEWS OF N.E. MUSIC

Rita: Wow, knowing the story of how the Wrong Hero came into being is just like knowing the origins of Superman. Only the Wrong Hero is an actual person. He can’t bend steel in his bare hands, but he can write a CD review. Lolita: No, that’s like talking about Clark Kent as if he were Superman. Get it straight—Francis DiMenno writes the reviews, the Wrong Hero just does everything wrong. Lolita: Okay, let’s get on with the news that someone may understand… While BABALOO takes a break from performances, lead singer BRUNO MOLTO is teaching a Women’s Extreme Self-Defense Class at Spontaneous Celebrations in Jamaica Plain. Classes are every Thursday at 6:30 pm and are $10 for an hour. *** NICOLE TAMMARO is working on her third book—this one is called Boston Rock. *** BRETT MILANO is doing local radio show, The Sound of Our Town on WBCN HD on Sundays 3:00-5:00pm. *** High school bands interested in participating in the High School Band Brawl should complete the submission process at TotalPatriots.com by May 21. The competition is planned for June 6 (11:00 am) at Gillette Stadium. *** BLEU, past resident of Boston and winner of the 2001 Rumble, is now writing songs for American Idol and the Jonas Brothers. *** CCTV in Central Square is coming up on its 500th show (due to air in August), but they’ve also are dealing with having to move because an increase in the rent. *** WILL DAILEY signed the Think Outside the Bottle pledge. Think Outside the Bottle is a campaign working to promote, protect, and ensure public funding for our public water systems while cutting down on plastic toxicity and waste. Lolita: Here I thought Will was getting on the wagon.

FISH

Rita: While Lolita tries to hitch a ride on Will’s wagon, I’m going to ask people what kind of fish they like to eat. Pete, what fish do you prefer on your dinner table? PETE WEISS (the Weisstronauts/ Sool/ Verdant Studio): Brook trout. It’s delicate, flaky, tasty, and sustainable. Makes for a nice paté, too. *** MARK KATES (Fenway Recordings): Salmon. It is delectable, whether poached, grilled, smoked, or sushi. Preferably in Wellfleet or nearby! *** LIZ LINDER (photographer): Shellfish. Because they are the best fish, obviously. Lolita: Well, that sounds like a very shellfish thing to say. I’m sure there are some people who prefer the sad qualities of bluefish, the holiness of mackerel, or the multi-hugs given by the octopus. *** KAREN DeBIASSE (Girl On Top): I like all seafood. See food and eat it. *** SHAUN WOLF WORTIS (Galo Malo): Monkfish—just absolutely delicious, and usually wild and locally caught. I have nothing funny or clever to add to this. All I can say is monkfish! *** PETE SUTTON (the Vivs): Shrimp for the simple reason that it’s one of those perfect foods God created that cannot be improved upon, sort of like hot Italian sausage and chocolate cupcakes... those are also God created, right? Rita: Yes, I just Googled your question and there is a reference in the Bible of Jesus breaking one sweet miniature chocolate cake at a birthday party to feed all the 35 guests. You can always count on the facts on the information superhighway. *** BRUCE ALLEN (the Doom Buggies): The only fish I eat are Swedish fish—the original Swedish erotica. Now they are common, but when I was a kid up in Maine, they were a rare, sweet, exotic delicacy. I would walk into the corner store where they sold them individually for a penny and say, “How much for the whole box?” *** CHRIS BRAT (the Acro-brats/ By the Throat/ Jason Bennett & the Resistance/ the Spoilers): I like shrimp wrapped in bacon because it’s wrapped in bacon. That’s a fish, yeah? *** VINYL VON RICCI (Mahi Mahi): My favorite fish to eat is salmon. I used to hate it because of its fishy flavor, but then I realized that it’s delicious and I was wrong. I love it as a filet, pan seared with horseradish butter. *** RAY MASON (Ray Mason Band/ Lonesome Brothers): I’m currently enjoying all fish as those Omega-3s supposedly help to lower your triglycerides! *** DWIGHT SOAKUM (Saliva Slingers): Favorite fish? I like cooking up octopus. As a matter of fact I’m chopping up suckers right now! (we’re a rap group). *** BOB GOBRON (Shakyfoot): My favorite fish to eat is the one striper I take per year to grill. Since I have a self-imposed one-fish-kept-per-year limit, I have very strict criteria. The fish must be just over the 29” length limit and about 15 lbs. I do this because smaller, younger fish have not had much time to accumulate toxins in their flesh. Also, I don’t like stripers that have been on bunker—too oily. Once we pulled a 4 lb. lobster out of a 15 lb. striper and man if that fish didn’t taste just like lobster. Yum. Lolita: Wow—were you able to eat the lobster too—or was it already digested too much? Bob: We thought about it, for sure. It wasn’t digested at all. Probably wasn’t in the fish’s belly for more than an hour, but it was already dead (the carapace was cracked a little, probably when it got swallowed) and it’s never a good idea to eat a dead lobster. Another time we had a striper on that puked up a pogie when it got near the boat and we saw the pogie take off like a shot. Oh, I gots me some fishin’ stories. *** KEN FIELD (Revolutionary Snake Ensemble/Birdsongs of the Mesozoic/Agachiko/Musaner): Salmon, but what’s up with the silent “L”? Rita: I just Googled your question and found that many years ago the head salmon statesmen got together and decided they needed to distance themselves from possibly being mistaken for salesmen, so they agreed to silence the L. I swear by the information highway. Ken: Uhh, thanks for clearing that up. *** CARLENE BAROUS (Carlene Barous Band): I like any fish that tastes like chicken—like Gorton’s Fish Sticks and Filet o’ Fish. I also enjoy whole fish happy family, which is best seared in its own juices. Floundering seems to be popular. *** ALAN COHEN (…Experience): My favorite seafood to eat is Swedish fish, in a dish with a knish, watching the commish. So delish! *** NOLAN SULLIVAN (ITtheverb): Lobster is easily the best fish to eat any time, anywhere, any day. Lolita: I took a tour in Maine one time and they said that lobster was fed to the slaves all the time—seven days a week. Slaves finally were able to write it into their contracts that they would get something other than lobster one day a week. Rita: Who knew they had slaves in Maine? T Max: Who knew that the slaves had contracts?

MUSICAL CHAIRS

Rita: Lolita off on a mental vacation to Maine, so I’m going to see what I can dig up on relatively new bands that have emerged. Wow—I’ve got to see this band—NAKED ON ROLLER SKATES. We can just picture LEESA COYNE, TRAVIS RICHTER, RANDY CREASI, and KELLY DAVIDSON skating around on stage. *** THE CATBIRDS consist of STEVE WOOD, RIKKI BATES, DINTY CHILD, and CHANDLER TRAVIS. Their Boston-area debut was on 4/8 at the Lizard Lounge. *** TONY SAVARINO’s new band, TONY SAVARINO & THE SATANIC LOUNGE SYNDICATE, performs tunes from Tony’s upcoming solo CD Guitaring. *** GABRIELLE AGACHIO (Buck Moon) has a project called AGACHIKO that plays music by and inspired by Nina Simone. *** TONY GODDESS (Jenny Dee & the Deelinquents) and his wife SAMMANTHA GODDESS are part of THE LINDSAY BUCKINGHAM ADMAIRATION SOCIETY and will perform Tusk in its entirety at the Lizard Lounge on Friday, 5/15. *** BLACK THAI includes JIM HEALEY (We’re All Gonna Die), SCOTT O’DOWD (Cortez), COREY COCOMAZZI (Voda), and one of our favorite Boston drummers JEREMY HEMMOND (Cortez). *** THE JEREMIAH WEED FOUNDATION is a new combo with JOEY PESCE, KEN SCHOPF, and SHAWN WOLF WORTIS. Lolita: These guys look like that should be in a band together.

MAY 15 – ARMED FORCES DAY

Rita: I have to admit I never heard of this holiday, but it’s labeled on my calendar—May 15 is Armed Forces Day. How will you be celebrating this holiday? KIER BYRNES (Three Day Threshold): We’re sending a bunch of free copies of our new CD, Straight Out of the Barrel to some of the servicemen and women we met last year when Three Day Threshold did a military tour for the U.S. troops stationed overseas. *** MARK BRYANT (Plimro Records): I’ll be putting on my Green Shirt with the Big Boys and providing Senior Service for Oliver’s Army. We’ll start by searching for two Little Hitlers who were last seen tormenting a Party Girl in a so-called “Chemistry Class.” After that I’ll be joining the Goon Squad to determine the new Moods For Moderns. But you never know, Accidents Will Happen and at the end of it all I’ll probably just ask, What’s So Funny ’bout Peace Love and Understanding? *** PETER C. JOHNSON (Peter C. Johnson): I’ll be at the veterans’ hospital continuing my work as an intern on the addictions unit. I’m seeing a lot of young men and women coming back with opiate addictions and PTSD. It’s heartbreaking. I skipped out on my generation’s war, so it feels good being part of the recovery process in this one. *** SLIMEDOG (the Noise): I will be enjoying Armed Forces Day in the same way as I believe many of you will be celebrating this holiday. I will be dressing up my three pet cockatoos in different military regalia—one in the army, navy, etc. Then I dress up much like General Patton and we reenact the Battle of Iwo Jima. It’s quite smashing though a bit bloody at times. *** JEFF BREEZE (CBOP): I always forget to do anything special for this day. I do usually remember to listen to the whole album for My Aim Is True day. I like that one far better. *** CARL BIANCUCCI (the Fighting Cocks): I will re-enlist in the Kiss army. *** EDRIE (Walter Sickert & the Army of Broken Toys): I will celebrate Armed Forces Day as I celebrate every Armed Forces Day, by donning my red, white, and blue nipple tassels, straw cowboy hat, and red leather boots and going to the top of Bunker Hill to sing the entirety of the “The Salute to the Armed Forces” whilst twirling those tassles in the concentric circles—really no better way to support our troops. *** CHUCK U. ROSINA (WMBR/ WMFO): Armed Forces Day??? We already have Memorial Day, and Veterans Day (which used to be Armistice Day—commemorating peace, not war). Enough already. I guess I’ll spend part of the day listening to the music of Sgt. Maxwell’s Peace Chorus. Lolita: What a great segue to plug Sgt. Maxwell’s, I mean T MAX’s, upcoming CD, Why Do We Go to War? T sings and plays everything except the jet engine guitar by MIKE LOCE (the Doublenecks) on the title track. The CD is already getting airplay—thanks to Chuck U.

ALL GOIN’ OUT TOGETHER

Lolita: Come and join me at these cool events: RICK PAIGE presents the Allston Johnny D’s reunion on Saturday, 5/1, at Church featuring THE TURBINES. *** The finals of the Rock Showdown on Sunday 5/2 (12:30 pm) at the Center for the Arts in Natick will include AWESOME EXPRESS (from Wellesley, Needham, and Newton), THE JESSICA PROUTY BAND (from Marblehead), THE DEADLY STYLES (from Sudsbury) and BLINDFOLD ASIDE (from Boston). *** JORDAN VALENTINE & THE SUNDAY SAINTS are at T.T. the Bear’s on Wednesday, 5/5. *** SLIP KID (featuring GARY and MARCUS CHERONE) play their Who tribute at the Hard Rock Café on Friday, 5/7. *** BIG CATHOLIC GUILT (1992 Rumble champs) was known for their big sound and fabulous light show. They’re back to play on Saturday, 5/8, at the Middle East Downstairs. *** Same night INCUS spreads the good vibes at the Cantab. *** Our favorite master of the beat-box keyboard, B.J. SNOWDEN, plays Zuzu on Monday, 5/10. *** On Wednesday, 5/12, Mass Art Invades the Armory—many different genres of music mix with many different mediums of art. It's an all-ages show at 7:00 at the Somerville Armory. *** Come to CARMELITA’s Roast at the Magic Room on Friday, 5/14. ASA BREBNER & FRIENDS and T MAX perform. It’s a benefit for the animal rescue league Help Save One. *** On Saturday, 5/15, PORT CHARLES QUINTET headline at the Cantab. *** JASON BENNET & THE RESISTANCE are at Great Scott on Monday, 5/17. *** THREE DAY THRESHOLD slam the Middle East upstairs on Friday, 5/21. *** Lastly, on Saturday, 5/29, TOM WAITSIAN headlines at Precinct. Lolita: After going to all those shows I’m going to admit myself into the hospital so I can get a sponge bath from nurse Robert. Rita: You do know that nurse Robert is none other than ROBBIE ROADSTEAMER pretending to be a nurse! Ha! See you next month!

OUR EYES ON YOU: April 2010

Lolita: Now, I know everyone is getting excited about showing off their spring wardrobe. Rita: And think of all the new material that songwriters have fretted over during the long New England winter. They’re anxious for you to hear their fresh creations. Lolita: So put on your spring best and get out there to socialize. Go see your favorite performers. Rita: Lolita, do you have a Question of the Month in your back pocket? Lolita: Well, let me see if I do. Why, yes, it says, no fat ice cream, lipstick, birdfood… Rita: That’s not a Question of the Month. Lolita: No, it’s my April Fool’s Day joke on you. Rita: What an awful joke. It’s not even funny. Lolita: Well, tell me something that is. Rita: Exactly! That will be our Question of the Month. Lolita: So now you do like my shopping list? Rita: No, go run down to Mass. Ave. and ask everyone, what’s the best April Fool’s joke you’ve ever heard or experienced?

APRIL IS FOR FOOLS

Lolita: Hey, Linda—you look terrific, darling. Tell me what is the best April Fool’s joke you’ve ever heard or experienced? LINDA VIENS (Angeline): I have wonderful memories of creating a completely “foolish” dinner with my mom and sibs for my dad on April Fool’s Day: cat food meat loaf, soap bubble mashed potatoes, grass spinach, and being SO excited to watch his reaction as he “dug in” to his delicious meal. Too funny! Lolita: How long did it take for your dad to realize it was a joke meal? Linda: Heehee... oh you know... I’m pretty sure he played along for QUITE a while. *** ZAC TAYLOR (…& the Drugs/ Three Day Threshold): April 1, 1996, my mother was driving my brother and I to school listening to 99X, our alternative rock station in Atlanta at the time. Everyone’s favorite morning show DJs had apparently been fired for gross misconduct, and the new DJs were refusing to play Nirvana because of Kurt and Courtney’s drug use. Everyone in the city was livid. In reality, our beloved DJs had swapped places with the April Fool’s DJs in Austin, TX, and were at that moment duping their audience with the same scoop. A glorious prank, indeed. *** DAVE TREE (SuperPower/ Drugwar/ Tree ): April Fool’s Day is an ancient pagan Irish holiday of fertility. My grandparents were married on that day in Ireland. To get married on that day is to bless your new union with children. My mom insisted on getting married on the same day despite my dad’s efforts to persuade her on another day. It was tradition. 8 and a half months later I was the first born child to their union, so in a sense I was the joke on them. Thanks Mom I love you! *** TOMMY TULIP (Anomopoly/ Nate Wilson Group): On April 1, 1965, it was reported that the Danish government was ordering all dogs in the country to be painted white to increase road safety and dog visibility at night. I do that to my dogs anyway. *** CORIN ASHLEY (Corin Ashley & His Traveling Band): It’s no joke, but my favorite April Fool will always be Ronnie Lane, bass player for the Faces, born on April 1st. He was a criminally underrated talent who died way too young. *** CHUCK U. ROSINA (WMBR / WMFO): April Fool’s joke. Ha. I grew up Catholic. But I reformed... I got over it. In fact, I despise the Catholic church today, and am on a personal crusade (if I may use that word) to bring it down. I know I can’t do this alone, but I throw my stones against the evil empire. To that aim, I created an annual radio show: The April Fool’s Crucifixion. The show really works best when April Fool’s and Good Friday are on the same day. That happened twice in recent decades. I manage to get phone calls from non-reformed Catholics who find the show offensive. I tell them it’s an April Fool’s joke. *** NOLAN SULLIVAN (ITtheverb): One of my favorite April fools joke of all time was laying down saran wrap on the toilets. Ex-Lax in an unsuspecting victim’s beverage never hurt but that can get messy quick. I’ve heard about cups of water above doors for a lighthearted gag, but turning your high school into a swimming pool always sounded like a blast. *** BRENDAN HOGAN (Brendan Hogan): When I was in kindergarten, my witch of a teacher, Mrs. B., fed me a wax cracker under my assumption that it was a real snack. I loved crackers. She laughed in my face as I bit into it and spit it out. It was my introduction to April Fool’s Day, and I will never forgive her for it! (I still love crackers, and my distaste for authority figures continues to, uh, wax.) *** PJ ASPESI (Three Day Threshold): One year I thought I would play a funny joke on my girlfriend. The plan was to make her breakfast in bed, be super sweet, then drop a bombshell and break up with her. So I made my famous pancakes, brought her juice and flowers, waited till she was content, then broke the news. She yelled, cried, and left. Now I had a quiet day to myself to play video games and be lazy. Thing is I passed out on the couch and forgot to call her back to say “April Fool’s.” Oh well, I hear she has a few kids now. Lolita: Wow PJ, I guess the joke backfired on you.

MUSIC NEWS

Rita: Okay, I promise that none of the news I will report will fall under an April Fool’s joke… SEXCOFFEE was awarded the 2009 Limelight Magazine Live Act of the Year. *** Ultrasonic Rock Orchestra’s ALAN WARE has a niece, SIOBHAN MAGNUS, who’s made it to the top 12 (as of this writing) in the latest American Idol. *** What has NICK BLAKEY been up to since his illness forced him to stop booking Church and playing in bands? He’s become THE NIGHT RIDAH every Saturday night from 8:00 to 10:00 on WECB (Emerson College). Stream it at http://wecb.emerson.edu/ or tune into 640 AM. *** ELI “PAPERBOY” REED made his way onto DARYL HALL’s online live show (episode 27). The show’s called Live from Daryl’s House and that’s exactly what it is. *** MISSION HILL played a month long residency at the Hard Rock Café. Lolita: Is that really newsworthy? Rita: Well, when the Hard Rock Café is located in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam, it is. *** In March RICK PISANO was chosen to be the featured artist of the week on the international site ReverbNation. Lolita: Come to think of it, all websites have international readerships. *** WALTER SICKERT & THE ARMY OF TOYS have recorded their upcoming CD (28 Seeds: The Last Radio Show) with strings connected to tin cans in a wire forest. *** HAVE NOTS inked a deal with Paper and Plastick Records (founded by VINNIE FIORELLO of Less Than Jake and Fueled By Ramen Records)—expect a CD this summer. *** CORIN ASHLEY saw Yoko play in Brooklyn in February. Klaus Voorman played on a few songs with her. Corin got Klaus to sign the pickguard on his Hofner bass for some good Hamburg mojo. *** Quiet Desparation, YouTube’s most entertaining sitcom about the Allston art scene, is better than ever with episode 19. CHIPPAH gets banned from the Noise Board so he starts his own super duper message board. *** BEN FOWLIE (Camden International Film Festival/ Constants) has taken over as entertainment coordinator for Bella Luna Restaurant and the Milky Way Lounge. *** LEADERS LED of North Andover, MA, won the NCN ’10 Rompetition at the Middle East beating out six other New England bands. *** EXTREME is releasing their Take Us Alive live CD and DVD on Frontiers Records on April 23 in Europe and May 4 in the States. *** In Miami, SHEA ROSE did a photo shoot for CoverGirl makeup and recorded with producers COOL and DRE. *** VAGIANT has changed their name to TIJUANNA SWEETHEART—they must be getting serious about their promotion. *** Transit Music Group signed the hard rock/ metal act MINDSET X from New Hampshire. *** THEA HOPKINS’ song, “Jesus Is On the Wire” is included on the recently released Peter, Paul & Mary CD, The Prague Sessions. All the songs were recorded with the Czech National Symphony Orchestra. *** SETH GLIER, a 21 year-old singer/songwriter, partnered his last tour with the Coats For Kids Foundation to raise awareness for the organization and collect gently used coats, hats, gloves and scarves for local school systems. Seth will be returning to Club Passim on Tuesday, 4/6. Lolita: I hope Seth’s next tour helps collect bathing suits because I can’t wait to get into mine.

IMPORTANT DATES

Rita: Lolita, I know a few fellas who’d be interested in getting into your bathing suit. Lolita: That reminds me of March 4^th, 1982. Okay, I was guilty too. Peter, do you have a date and event you would like everyone to know? PETER C. JOHNSON (Peter C. Johnson): On December 18, 1970 (my 25th birthday), I opened for J. Geils and Van Morrison at Symphony Hall in Boston. It was a perfect day. *** KEVIN RHEAULT (Double Nines): Friday, May 19, 2006 5:45 pm. This is the date and time that I was hit by a car while riding my bicycle and sustained a fractured skull. After spending three days in the hospital and then the next few months recovering I realized I needed to get back into the music world I was involved with when I was younger. Now I play in a band (Double Nines) and it’s the best band I’ve ever been in! *** JIM SULLIVAN (Boston Herald/ Phoenix/ jimsullivanink.com): October 1, 1967. The Red Sox beat the Twins for the second game in a row to win the AL pennant and me and my parents were there, right field grandstand. When the fans rushed the field—it was not yet a stupid sports cliché, but unbridled joy—I looked at my folks and they gave me the nod of approval. I ran on the field, whooped, hollered, gathered souvenir infield dirt and grass, stood on the mound. Happiest day of childhood life. *** BRIAN FLYNN (the Mayflys): On August 11^th, 2006, Hilary Swank appeared in Vanity Fair magazine and a man needed some time alone. Three years later the MayFlys record “Why Can’t You Be More Like Hilary Swank?” and the man wonders why he is still alone. You set the bar too high, Hilary. *** SAMMY MIAMI (Houndstone): Lonesome Dave Peverett was born on April 16, 1943. I was born on the same day, thirty years later. What’s the big deal? Dave and Foghat have always been a huge influence on me, even before I knew this. I think it’s really cool that I share my birthday with my idol. Dave passed in 2000 and I’ve since become friends with his family. They’re very supportive of my music and I’m honored to have such a connection. Lolita: You’re a very respectful guy. I like you for that. Sammy: With that being said, thank you for continuing to include me in the publication, this too is an honor I greatly appreciate. Lolita: Wow, a very respectful guy.

YOU’RE THE PRESIDENT

Rita: While Lolita tries a new technique in picking up men, I’ll try another question. A lot of American citizens are upset that failing corporations got bailed out with taxpayer’s money, only to see that money then be rewarded to those same corporate heads in the form of bonuses. You’ve just been elected our president—what are you going to do about the situation? TIM MUNGENAST (Tim Mungenast & His Preexisting Conditions): I’d tell the so-called bankers, “Because you cretins have ruined capitalism, you are hereby sentenced to go back in time and live as a communist in the Soviet Union, waiting in line for toilet paper before being sent to a reeducation camp where there is none.” *** STEVEN HAIDAICHUK (Mindset X): As president of the United States I would implement the following change in response to the corporation bail outs: On April 1st of every calendar year, all employees of corporations who received bail-out money will be required to watch a full day of repeat episodes of Dora the Explorer, which has been said to improve social and problem solving skills. Because, in the end, only children know what’s best for the society. Swiper, no swiping. *** RICK BERLIN (self): Don’t think I’d have the tenacity or the patience to run this insane country. And ya can’t steamroller (dictatorship). I guess all I’d do would be to hold their noses to the toilet (BAD dog) through the media until they wise up or vomit into their stuffed shirts. I don’t understand greed (Mr. Gheko). Maybe because I’ve never experienced “too much” enough to want more. F**k it—shove their feet in cement and drop ’em in the tank. *** PRINCE BENNY (Girlfriends): Rock-a-rock-a-rock-a non-stop tonight uh-huh at the government center. Make the secretaries feel better when they’re putting all those stamps on the letters. *** SIMON RITT (the Darlings): Well, If I were president then I like to think that I’d treat those corporate villains much the same way that former President George W. Bush treated the terrorists... less blah, blah, blah—more torture. *** PETER MOORE (Count Zero): No bonuses should be available to these people in cash, all tied to company stock. That’s the least we can ask for. Truly, we need to instigate a progressive salary tax on anyone making over, say, $2m a year in either salary, bonus, or stock options. They are robber barons, and their wealth is obscene. *** MICHAEL BLOOM (Tim Mungenast & his Pre-Existing Conditions): If I were in Obama’s shoes, I’d unleash Attorney General Holder. It’s known that there was systematic fraud in the subprime mortgage market, and now it looks like accounting fraud at Lehman, and God knows where else. Somehow none of the financial class have had to do perp walks yet, and until that happens, the American people will believe that, as Dick Durbin says, “they own the place.” *** PETE CASSANI (The Peasants/ Beefy DC): I would make income tax progressive in the U.S.. The more you make, the more we take. I’d go back to the tax rate of FDR who said when wealthy people cry poverty, just laugh at them. They benefit most from this country so they should pay more too. I’d also make all charters to corporations subject to a five-year review. If a corporation were detrimental to the people, their charter would be revoked and the corporation dismantled so a company like ExxonMobil would be encouraged not to spill oil all over the world. If they did, after five years their charter would be revoked. Same with health insurance companies who refused to pay for people who got sick under their policies. Same with drug companies that rushed untested drugs to market, etc. Rita: Our true enemy is the corporate giants. They control our politics, our food sources, our health care, our financial stability, our military involvement, and probably our minds. We must stick together to override their power.

ALL GOING OUT TOGETHER

Lolita: Well, we’re all goin’ out together anyway, SEA MONSTERS are in residency at Precinct every Sunday 10pm in April. *** BLACK FORTRESS OF OPIUM plays T.T. the Bear’s on Sunday, 4/4. *** We’ve got a three-day weekend event starting on Thursday 4/8 that is a tribute/benefit for the late RAY NEADES at Church. Highlights over the weekend include THE NEIGHBORHOODS, MUCK & THE MIRES, and THE RUDDS. *** At the Middle East Downstairs, Team Shred presents DIRTY FEVER on Friday, 4/9. *** BLEU returns to town to play T.T. the Bear’s on Saturday, 4/10. *** Same night DJ MÄTHEW GRIFFIN will be DJ-ing an all-ages show with SPINDLE SHANKS at Club Hell in Providence. *** On Sunday, 4/11, try Between Rock & An Art Space with a dozen local artist plastering the walls of Church while ASA BREBNER & FIENDS entertain. *** The CD release party for Across Their Universe—Low Budget Records Does the Songs of the Beatles is at Johnny D’s on Tuesday, 4/13. *** BRETT MILANO is on the hot end of a roast on Saturday, 4/17, at the Magic Room—FRANK ROWE (solo) and THE CLASSIC RUINS are on board for the music section of the roast. *** CONFRONT releases their new CD at the Middle East on Friday, 4/23. *** Into ’80s hair metal—go to Uncle Eddies to hear 80MPH. *** On Monday, 4/26, MIKE FIORE (Faces on Film) entertains at Zuzu. *** On Thursday 4/29, the staged finals of the 32^nd annual WBCN Rumble will be held at Great Scott. HUMANWINE will win. They already paid off the judges. *** The reunion of the mid-’80s Allston club Johnny D’s will have lots of your favorite old bands including MOOSE & THE MUDBUGS. It’s being held at Church on Saturday, 5/1. *** Same date PARANOID SOCIAL CLUB hits the Portland City Music Hall.

Lolita: Now that spring is here, it’s time to get out of the house! Rita: See you in the clubs!

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