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Rita: You should see my melons! Lolita: What?! Rita: Everyone is envious of my Charantais! Lolita:
Did you say Sharon Tate? Isn’t she the actress who was done in by
Charles Manson? Rita: No, I’m talking about my melons. Lolita:
Remember that T Max wants us to clean up our repartee. Rita: Hey! I rinse the soil off my melons everyday.
Don’t want any bugs infesting them. Lolita: Now you’re getting creepy. Rita:
Okay then, let’s get down and dirty. I’m talking about the dirt
of the earth and the sweat you build up by working with your hands in
the soil to bring new life to flowers and vegetables. Will you stop
with all the faces, Lolita, and find out who’s into gardening? Lolita:
Okay, but I’m going to leave out all the dirty parts.
IN MY GARDEN
Lolita: Ahh, Liz, please help me—I think I may
have caught some bugs from Rita. She’s all dirty and wants to know
if you’re doing anything in the garden this year.
LIZ BORDEN (Liz Borden Band):
I am an urban farmer. I have a city garden plot and I am growing a variety
of eggplant, zucchini, summer squash, all kinds of tomatoes, cucumbers,
a variety of peppers, lettuce, pumpkins, watermelon, strawberries, basil,
sage, and flowers. I plan to live off the food for the summer! *** CORIN ASHLEY
(Corin Ashley): Harrison and I planted a variety of tomatoes—some
in the ground and some in the Topsy Turvy hanging planters—and we
have some nice lettuce, string beans, and carrots coming up as well.
Mostly, Harrison likes to point out to everybody that there is poop
in the fertilizer. *** KAREN
DeBIASSE (Girl On Top): We
can’t talk about that... but, really. I’ve decided on no real plants
this year. It’s too hard watering them sometimes twice a day, not
being able to take a vacation because of the plants, and then having
them die anyway in the winter. I have my own private tropical paradise
right in my Somerville backyard with plants that look real but are tropical
fakes. *** SAMMY MIAMI (Houndstone): I’ve been farming a rock garden
for as long as I can remember. For the last five years I was growing
guitar players, but recently I’ve been planting for bassists and drummers.
Even though most of my crops eventually uproot and join other gardens,
I’ve had pretty good luck considering there’s no sunlight. *** RUBY BIRD
(Bird Mancini): Flowers and berries to attract birds, bees, and butterflies!
No veggies this year, since Bird Mancini is doing a Farmer’s Market
Fresh Produce Tour this summer. We’ll have ample opportunity to buy
good food direct from farmers who are much better at growing it than
I am! *** PETER MOORE (Count Zero): Why, yes, funny you should ask.
Lettuce, spinach, kale, arugula, beets, carrots, bush beans, radishes,
tomatoes, basil, cilantro, cucumbers, broccoli, parsley, spearmint,
and celery. *** FRANCIS
DIMENNO (Wrong Hero/ the Noise):
Sugar snap peas, tomatoes, pumpkins, zucchini, leeks, summer squash,
oregano, basil, watermelon, and Turkish black carrots courtesy of Dave
McMahon. *** MS. DONNA (Lowbudget Records photographer): For our
petite garden, we have put in two tomato selections: Early Girl and
Big Boy. We also have our perennial crop of herbs: basil, chives, mint,
oregano, parsley, and sage. Mmmm-mmm—good eatin’ ahead! *** LINDA VIENS
(Angeline): In my sweet backyard garden I am growing all kinds of flowers,
peonies, flox, roses, etc., and also a gorgeous herb garden filled with
chives, tarragon, parsley, basil, oregano, many kinds of mint, thyme,
and of course, catnip, for the head cat of the house! Lolita: I didn’t know Linda was running a brothel.
I could use some work. Rita: She’s talking about her feline! Lolita:
Yeah, isn’t that a French fräulein?
MUSIC NEWS
Rita: While Lolita ruins languages that she doesn’t
understand, I’ll serve you the news... JENNY DEE & THE DEELINQUENTS
were in the June issue of Spin magazine—featured in the “Songs You Must
Hear Now” section on page 48! *** House of Blues (Lansdowne Street)
is now booking local music in the front room. Bands interested in playing
the venue should contact JOSH
ALLAIN at
This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it
.
*** Guitar Center and KISS have come up with a plan to get 22 bands
from local markets across the States to engage in a competition to open
for the next KISS tour. Then Kiss will pick their favorite opener
to win a $10,000 shopping spree at Guitar Center. Register at GCOnstage.com
before September 1. *** WMBR went off the air for about 12 hours on
June 1st after lightning hit their transmitter. *** HAVE
NOTS opened for DROPKICK MURPHYS’ tour of the southeast during June.
*** Ironic North Shore Music Booking Agency was recently launched. If
you’re a venue looking for bands or a band/artist looking to be booked,
contact LINDA SOMMA at
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. *** If you couldn’t
get into see ALLOY ORCHESTRA play their score for Metropolis, they’re doing it again on March 5, 2011.
Their score will also finally be included on a DVD (released by Kino)
of the classic film. *** MUCK & THE MIRES played the Steve Katsos Show in June. *** Low Budget Records of Roslindale,
Massachusetts, celebrated their 31st anniversary. *** KEVIN HOSKINS,
booker for the Middle East for the past seven years, has taken the job
of booking Emo’s in Austin, Texas. KIERAN
FALLON graduates from box office
manager to Downstairs booker. We wish both Kevin and Kieran the best
of luck in their new ventures. *** The Boston Blues Society is having
their 2010 Boston Blues Challenge at Johnny D’s in October. All interested
bands should go to www.bostonblues.com to register and to see more info.
*** Remember BLEU? The guy who sang a song saying he’d never move
to Hollywood, then he did. Well, he now has a song called “B.O.S.T.O.N.”
Listen to the demo at http://soundcloud.com/bleutopia/bleu-b-o-s-t-o-n-demo.
*** Girls Rock Camp (8/2-8/7), founded by Boston musicians MARY LOU LORD
and HILKEN MANCINI is designed to teach girls between the age
of 8-16, self esteem through music, creation and performance. For more
info go to girlsrockboaton.org. *** Every Wednesday afternoon from 1-2pm
Passim presents free outdoor lunchtime concerts in both Harvard Square
(outside Passim) and Kendal Square (in the courtyard of Cambridge Center
Plaza). *** Stay tuned for the 50th episode of Bandwidth TV, featuring
RAZORS IN THE NIGHT, which will air throughout August. To commemorate
this landmark, there will be a 25-hour Bandwidth TV marathon, beginning
Friday, August 6 at 11:30 pm on CCTV Channel 10. Catch up with every
Bandwidth episode ever produced. Lolita: Next issue we plan to write about MARISSA ACOSTA,
who heads up Bandwidth TV.
PARENTS’ DAY
Rita: Have you ever heard of Parents’ Day? It’s
an official holiday on July 25. I figured I better ask people how this
holiday should be celebrated…
JASON DUGUAY (Project Sound): Warm
Budweiser, cold champagne and a heavy heart. *** MARK
KAYE (Hear Now Live): I honestly
feel like my five year old son (Mark, Jr.) should go all out on me this
year for Parents Day. What I would like to see done is breakfast in
bed, the yard work done, all the month’s booking for Hear Now Live
done and maybe a gift certificate to a bed and breakfast so I can get
away from all the mayhem and take my girlfriend out of my world for
a day or two. This would be the perfect Parents Day gift to me from
Junior and that is how this year’s Parents’ Day should be celebrated.
*** FRANK E. BUTKUS (the Freeways): On Parents’ Day allow the
minimum 30-minute phone call. Mail a card with money. Or bake a cake
and allow the minimum two-hour visit. Lolita: Is this advice coming from the parent angle
or the child angle? Frank: It applies to both, yet children should send
cash only. Parents could send cash or check. *** DAVID
KIRKDORFFER (the Blank Attack/
UNDO): How to celebrate Parents’ Day? By paying your Pa’s rent,
of course. *** DAVID DELUCA (Highway Ghosts): Spend the day with your
parents, have a couple of drinks and just talk! No TV, no Internet...
just catch up on actually conversing with each other. Most of us get so busy
with our daily grind that we forget to connect to those closest to us.
*** KIER BYRNES (Three Day Threshold): Unfortunately, I’ll
be in classroom all day attending a seminar that’s part of my Law
and Policy doctorate program. I would suggest other people do something
more fun. Lolita: Kier, that will be so much fun when we can
start calling you Dr. Byrnes. Rita: Doctor Byrnes you’re needed in the O.R.
It appears from an X-ray that you left your guitar pick inside your
heart transplant patient.
MUSICAL CHAIRS
Lolita: Okay, we know that Kier Byrnes is not going
to be that kind of doctor, but maybe I’ll let him examine me anyway.
I think I may have two lumps, but maybe they’re just bumps in my breasts. Rita:
Lolita, you’re a pathetic slut. Lolita: Would it make any difference if I were a
capable slut? Rita: A slut is a slut. Now let’s find out about
some musicians active in playing musical chairs…
ADAM BOUCHARD (x-Veronica Black
Morphius Nipple), RONAN
FAHY (x-Pyotr),
ERIC DONAHUE (x-Ad Frank &
the Fast Easy Women.), and JASON
BREWER now play together as
COOLING TOWERS. *** ZAC
TAYLOR (Three Day Threshold)
is playing as a solo artist and released his CD, Salesman, recently. *** BOBBY GAUDREAU & THE BLUE
SPOTLIGHT is BOBBY GAUDREAU (the Queers/ Facts About Rats), JIM DELIOS
(the Voodoo Dolls), MATT
GILBERT (Harlequin) and BRIAN PACKER
(the Marvels). *** DYS reunites at Club Lido on 8/29. The performance
will be part of the upcoming film, xxx
ALL AGES xxx. Also included
in the film are JERRY’S KIDS, GANG GREEN, and THE FUs. *** THE FUTURE
EVERYBODY is NATE ROGERS (Scamper), MIKE
MIRABELLA (Scamper), MATT GIRARD
(Motion Sick), along with newcomers MORGAN
TERRINONI and VERONICA
DALE. *** KEVIN
McMAHON is leaving the Rationales
following the birth of his son. The Rationales will continue to work
as a four piece while they search for a new second guitarist. *** BILL BRACKEN
(Age Against the Machine), DEEK (x-WBCN), and TIM
LOWMAN put together a side
project called ANKLELOCK. They added GARY
CHERONE (x-Van Halen/ Extreme)
on vocals and now have a hit (#27) on the charts in Finland with “Comin’
to Get You.” Lolita: Isn’t that what JIMI
HENDRIX says near the end of
“Foxy Lady”? You do know he wrote that song about me?
OIL IN THE GULF
Rita: While Lolita digs deep into her twisted imagination,
I’m going to ask about the oil spill. Lolita: I heard you talking about that spot of olive
oil on my skirt? Rita: Lolita, you’re helpless. How did you get
through life this far with that mind of yours? Lolita: When you have a body like mine, you don’t
need a mind. Rita: Well, excuse me, but I’m going to continue
to talk about that spot on your dress. The oil spill in the Gulf of
Mexico certainly should be a wake up call on our dependency on oil and
the lack of regulations that protect our planet’s eco systems? You’re
the president—what should be done? KEN
FIELD (Revolutionary Snake
Ensemble/ Birdsongs of the Mesozoic): Increased federal support of renewable
energy technology research, supported by an increase in the federal
gasoline tax! We still pay way less for our gas than most of the
rest of the world. *** DAVE
TREE (SuperPower/ Tree): I
would legalize weed, grow it in large quantities, use it as a rotator
crop then turn hemp into ethanol. Make BP pay. Make Haliburton pay.
And put the oil companies out of business. We don’t need them, we
never did. We can grow our own fuel that burns cleaner—grow GREEN!
*** SIMON RITT (the Darlings): Air Force One consumes five
gallons of fuel per mile, costing U.S. taxpayers some $56,000.00 per flying hour.
If I were president I’d lead by example and stop using it frivolously
such as for date nights with Michelle, phony baloney Town Hall meetings
or zipping over to Chicago just to have his haircut by favorite barber.
I am certain that there are barbers In Washington, DC. Or better yet—I’ll
cut his hair for him, then his doo would look as good as mine. He’d
be one styling Kenyan! *** JASON
WILSON (J. Weatherman &
the Praire Fire): Pull out of Iraq and Afghanistan immediately.
Use the money we’ve now saved in “defense” dollars to get smart
people to fix the problem, independently of Big Oil. Then hand a nice
invoice to British Petroleum to pay for all of the damages. We can make
the executives themselves get on hand and knee with toothbrushes to
clean every square inch of the Gulf. When that’s finished, we use
every cent left to ship all the Big Oil folks to Monster Island while
we really utilize renewable energy without those meddling kids around.
*** MATT OZ (Aloha Sarcophagus): Declare state of emergency,
take control of all troops and instate yourself as the socialist leader
for life, resurrect Castro and murder your enemies. The oil thing will
take care of itself. *** EDRIE (Walter Sickert & the Army of Broken Toys):
North Dakota is a gigantic wind tunnel—I’d harness that energy using
thousands of wind turbines to fuel our brand new fleet of electric cars!
While that was happening I would use Sarah Palin’s merkins to soak
up the oil in the gulf. Lolita: Edrie, you are so cute. I never even knew
that my little decorative pubic wig was called a merkin. I think I can
place my merkin over the oil spill on my dress and no one will even
notice it. Isn’t it great how I can come up with a simple solution
to an oil spill?
ALL GOIN’ OUT
TOGETHER
Rita: Wow. How have I done a column with Lolita
for this long and survived? Maybe I should be more sensitive—she might
be coming down with Alzhimer’s at her age. Lolita: Back off, Rita! You know I’m 28 and I’m
free of any disease. I just want to get that across to all our readers
who fantasize about me, especially Paul. Yes, Paul who sent a comment
to us on this website—we included his comment in our incoming mail
column in the print issue. Paul, if you want to come stare at me, I’ll
be at the following shows… Every Sunday in July INGE BERGE
resides at the Dog Bar in Gloucester. *** GREG
HAWKES is joined by Real School
students at Johnny D’s on Thursday, 7/1. *** EVERYDAY VISUALS play
the Middle East Downstairs on Friday, 7/2. *** DREAMCHILD is at the
Cantab on Saturday, 7/10. *** ROBBY
ROADSTEAMER, I mean ROB POTYLO
releases his new CD at T.T. the Bear’s on Thursday, 7/15. *** Same
night, get funky with NIGHTIME
GALLAGHER at Zuzu. *** On Friday,
7/16, SHAUN WOLF WORTIS presents the 17th annual Bastile
Day a-Go-Go starring his Vudu Krewe and All Star Band at Precinct. *** There's an all-ages All Day Heavy Metal BBQ at the Midway on Saturday, 7/17. The show starts at 4:00 with DUNCAN WILDER JOHNSON's new band BRING THE KNIFE. *** JENEE HALSTEAD
plays the Hard Rock Café, Boston, on Thursday, 7/29. *** On Friday, 7/30, AL SHEINFELD and JIM FOLEY have put ogether Monsters of the Midway—Joe Coughlin Benefit. Joe's health has gone south and a bunch of heavy hitters will step up to the stage for him. *** AGE OF END
hits Oxxfest at Wiscasset Raceway on Saturday, 7/31. *** That same night
THE RUDDS return to Johnny D’s. *** WILLIE
ALEXANDER plays the Rhumb Line
on Thursday, 8/12, with BILLY
LOOSIGIAN. *** NEPTUNE makes
noise at Great Scott on Wednesday, 8/14. *** The Salem Jazz and Soul
Festival begins on Saturday, 8/21. One of the many-featured artists
is MISS TESS & THE BON TON PARADE. Rita: Have a great summer. Check thenoise-boston
in August—we’ll have a surprise for you. Lolita: I know you; you’re probably planning to
show them your melons. Rita: Close—I think my tomatoes will be more
impressive. See you in the clubs and at the festivals!
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Rita: Yes, we’re in full swing with gorgeous
weather, the Sox getting it together, and the clubs filling up every
night for the great talent in New England. Lolita: Well, you certainly sound like a cheerleader. Rita:
I guess it’s because I knew you couldn’t do the cheerleading with
that winter belly you put on. Lolita: That’s not a winter belly. It’s an ice
cream belly. Rita: Looks like a beer gut to me. Lolita:
You can think what you want. I’ve been eating Yo Tango—a no-fat
delight found at my favorite local ice cream chain. Rita: Hey, maybe you have a question of the month
there. Lolita: Yes—what is my favorite local ice cream
chain? Rita: No. Let’s find out everyone’s favorite
ice cream place. Lolita: Okay, but none of them will have Yo Tango
except for the best one.
SEAWEED ICE
CREAM
Lolita: Hey Slimedog, doesn’t one of your demons
sell ice cream? I mean, what’s your favorite ice cream place? SLIMEDOG
(the Noise): Some like Ron’s Bowling Alley in Hyde
Park but I like Zortar’s Ice Cream Truck the best. Their Seaweed Swirl
(vanilla ice cream with seaweed in it like fudge ripple) is out of this
world! So to speak. ***
JESSE VON KENMORE (the Marvels):
Homemade peach ice cream at my grandaddy’s house in LaGrange, Georgia.
There were peach, pecan and fig trees in the yard, ya’ll. It was heaven.
*** PETER RINNIG (QRST’s): Emack and Bolio’s. Their ice
cream and smoothies are the BEST! One of their stores is a five-minute
walk from my house... nothing like a moose tracks ice cream after dinner!
*** BOB MAHONEY (Rockin’ Bob’s Guitars): Howard Johnson’s...
they used to be the Host of the Highways, now they are few and far between
but their ice cream was awesome! Try the fudge ripple... you don’t
know what you’re missing. *** CASEY
DESMOND (Casey Desmond): Peaceful
Meadows Abington—yum! *** DEDE
BOOTH (Sententia): I grew up
on Brigham’s and will always consider them my favorite ice cream place.
It’s hard for them not to be, after all, I went to high school with Brigham’s
being right behind the football field and couldn’t resist getting mint
chocolate chip with jimmies. Not only is their ice cream good, but they’re
raspberry lime rickies are badass. *** MR.
CURT (Mr. Curt Ensemble): Ron’s
Gourmet Ice Cream in Cleary Square, Hyde Park (just minutes from my
house) has been here for almost 30 years. Old-fashioned homemade taste
and unbelievably delicious in many flavors. Also includes a bowling
alley! Trés cool. *** CLAY
N. FERNO (leaguepodcast.com):
J.P. Licks in J.P. No doubt the best place for the sugary sweet stuff
with your sugary sweet mate! Lolita: Ahh, finally someone I can go with to get
my Yo Tango! And Clay, thank you for considering me your sugary sweet
mate. That is what you meant, right?
NEWS
Rita: Well, while Clay and Lolita get their licks in, I’ll give you the news
I dug up while I wasn’t eating ice cream.
JOHN HOVORKA (the Turbines)
has released his first novel—The
Story of Johnny Wylde. It is
about rock ‘n’ roll in the 1980s. *** ASA
BREBNER is now offering guitar
lessons since his last daytime gig, painting houses, was hit with laws
that can lead up to fines of $37,000 for not complying with a complicated
set of rules, guidelines, and paperwork. *** The bands that made it
to the Rock Showdown finals are AWESOME EXPRESS (from Wellesley, Needham,
and Newton), THE JESSICA PROUTY BAND (from Marblehead), THE DEADLY STYLES
(from Sudsbury) and BLINDFOLD ASIDE (from Boston). ***
CHRISTOPHER PAPPAS (Everyday
Visuals) is conducting The Hark! Philharmonic. *** Lawless Records has
released a split 45 (yes, that’s vinyl) with Boston punk legends UNNATURAL
AXE and
THE NASTIES from Italy. Unnatural Axe songs include “I Am the Way”
(their first newly recorded material in over 28 years) and a cover of
the Nasties “Back To L.A.” *** Bristol Voice Studios has opened
a new branch in Worcester. Call PATRICE PERIS to schedule your free
voice lesson (774-275-0564). *** MICHAEL
MAROTTA has left the Boston Herald
to start his own nightlife agency, Vanya MMC, which will provide marketing,
management and consulting for bands, DJs, parties, venues, and restaurants.
*** The Rock Off finals in Portland chose LOW-FLYING PLANES the
best high school band in Maine. *** LANSDOWNE has toured for the USO
and Armed Forces Entertainment partnerships. It has brought them overseas
to the Middle East and around the country to play for our troops. ***
Walt Disney Music All-Stars Resort has begun playing AIR TRAFFIC CONTROLLER’s
music throughout the theme park. Lolita: I wonder if they recorded the Mickey Mouse
theme song?
FATHER’S FATHER
Rita: Do you know who Mickey Mouse’s grandfather
was? Lolita: Ooo, that’s a good trivia question. Rita:
Well, we’re not going to ask that question. I want to know something
about your father’s father. Jonathan—you’re first in line—tell
me something about your dad’s dad.
JONATHAN WEINER (M-Works):
He conducted (was music director) the Workman’s Circle chorus at a
May Day celebration in the Polo Grounds in New York in the 1940’s
in front of 40,000 people ...Lazar Weiner. *** ERIC
WELSH (Chillhouse Recording
Studios/ Eman Music, Inc.): He used to like to strap a dog’s electrical
fence collar around his leg and run through the electric field to feel
the shock. It eventually became a local community sport until
the authorities found out and shut the operation down. *** DJ MATHEW GRIFFIN
(the Noise): My father’s father was John J. Griffin,
Jr. A tough-as-nails 29-year veteran of the Medford Police Department’s
special detective unit. He was highly decorated for solving many cases.
After his heart attack in 1972, he resigned and then took my grandmother,
Nana June, on trips around the world, for the final two and a half decades
of their lives. They were married for 60 years and Nana June was buried
on June 1st. My grandfather followed soon thereafter. One of my last
memories of him, alone one night, was a story he confessed to me, about
forcing one brother against another—to “rat him out” on a crime
the other brother had committed, which sent his own brother away for
life. I had never seen Grampy cry before then. *** JON
MACEY (Fox Pass): My father’s
father was a country singer in upstate New York. Dick Hall & the
Melody Ramblers. He made radio records in the late ’40s and early
’50s. He eventually became a popular square dance caller. He never
stopped playing gigs until he had a stroke age 75 after a show in 1978.
He was my role model as a child. I wish I had played music with him
back when I still could have. We sang “Hey Good Looking” together
the year before he had the stroke. *** AD
FRANK (…& the Fast Easy
Women/ Lifestyle): Leroy Winslow Frank played Santa Claus in various
Auburn/Lewiston, Maine area department stores, as well the annual Lewiston
Christmas Parade. The beard and the paunch were real, and the kids in
the neighborhood actually thought he was Santa Claus. They called my
grandmother Mrs. Claus and thought the goats he raised were reindeer.
That’s Maine for you. He also played Heidi’s grandfather at Storyland
for a summer. *** CORIN
ASHLEY (…& the Houndogs):
This is a photo of my paternal grandfather, Walter Chewning, on the
USS Enterprise aircraft carrier, November 10, 1943. He is is climbing up the
plane’s side to assist the pilot from the burning aircraft with a
ruptured fuel tank. When I was eight years old, the Navy sent a film
canister to my school with footage of this event. *** KIER
BYRNES (Three Day Threshold):
Son of Irish immigrants, my dad’s dad grew up during the great depression.
To help his family survive, he kept a garden, growing tomatoes, raspberries,
asparagus, rhubarb, and radishes. He had cherry and pear trees too,
but the birds ate most of the cherries, nobody ate the pears. He was
mainly a meat and potatoes guy but he also liked cow’s tongue, Brussels
sprouts, herring, and pickled pig’s feet. He did not eat spaghetti
or ravioli. He smoked at least two packs of cigarettes every day, and
drank more than he should have. He was very religious; after graduating
from Holy Cross, he entered the seminary, though he did not stay. He
awoke at 6:30 each day to teach Latin in high school though he’d sleep
in on weekends, somehow always making the 11:00 am Mass. He could also
play the piano by ear and had small feet. *** AJ
WACHTEL (bostonblues.com):
My dad’s dad lived till he was 99 and since he outlived my dad by
10 years I spent a lot of time with him when I was in my late 20s. He
had a quiet sense of humor and lived alone and had a Phillipino maid
who came in a few times a week and she was a loud mouth know-it-all.
So one day, she says something and I break in immediately and ask her
if she’s familiar with the myth of the ancient Greek god Testacles,
but I said it as “testa-KLEASE.” After a few seconds she replied,
“No, I’ve never heard of Testa-klease,” and my grandfather and
I both cracked up. I never asked him if he laughed ’cause I got one
over on the smart-ass housecleaner or if he got my word play and play
on the loud mouth immigrant. Two generations of Wachtels seperated by
60 years of debauchery. *** ANDY
MILK (the Vital Might): My
family says that the musicality and quirkiness of my father’s father
skipped a generation down to me. He played piano for 80 years, all self-taught,
starred on Broadway, and often strolled on Main Street in Hyannis in
his later years, always with his trademark red bag. If I can accomplish
half of what he did, that sounds like a pretty good life to me! *** SAMMY MIAMI
(Houndstone) My father’s father was a musician and an inventor. He
used to set up a makeshift recording studio in the living room to record
his accordion. He painted “Quiet Please Recording Studio” on the
back of a mirror in the front hall. When he was recording, he’d turn
the mirror around so my dad and his siblings wouldn’t spoil the session.
As an inventor he designed and constructed many things, my favorite
being a speaker cabinet out of a hamper and a camper out of an Edsel.
Music and travel—I’m a lot like my grandfather. Lolita: Is someone tripping to music around the household?
MUSICAL CHAIRS
Lolita: Do people still trip on acid? Do people still
do cocaine? Heroin? I know I’m pretty hooked on coffee. I better be
careful it may lead to harder stuff. But for now I’ll stick to music.
Here is the newer information on bands that has passed our desk recently.
BRING THE KNIFE is DUNCAN
WILDER JOHNSON’s new band,
with PATTIE THE GIMP (guitar), ZAY
DOHSE (bass), and EMAN PACHECO (drums).
*** At CHAUNCEY’s reunion (Lizard Lounge 5/29) two other bands played
that branched out from them—CIRCLE CIRCLE STAR and MY RADIO. *** WALLCREEPER
includes ex-members of KARATE, SWIRLIES, CUL DE SAC, and PHARMACISTS.
*** BURN THE WITCH was born out of OVERCAST and SEEMLESS. *** Members
of FOREST HENDERSON, OKAY THURSDAY, THE MOTION SICK, THE FUTURE EVERYBODY,
and NAKED ON ROLLERSKATES have formed THE BACKUP FACTOR. *** THE MILLING
GOWNS new shoegazy post-punk line up is M. (vocals), ALLEN
ESSER (drums), DAVE STOOPS
(bass) and KEVIN HEINOLD (guitar). *** SOCCER MOM once was part of
THE SPANISH ARMADA. Rita: So never underestimate a soccer mom. Lolita:
Does this have something to do with Sarah Palin?
TEA PARTY
Rita: I don’t think the Republican party will accept
Sarah Palin as their nominee for president in 2012, so she’s probably
looking for another party. Lolita: Would that be the Tea Party? Rita:
Yes, it would. Now let’s find out what people are saying about the
Tea Party. Lolita, go ask everyone what they think. Lolita: Shaun, hold up there—tell me what you think
about the Tea Party. SHAUN
WOLF WORTIS (Jeremiah Weed
Foundation): I’m all in favor of people getting involved but there’s
nothing about the Tea Party that leads me to believe they’re anything
but corporate shills. Remove the nuts and assholes (which exist in any
group, right or left), and you’re left with a lot of folks who’ve
been led to believe that “big business interests” are the same as
“American interests.” This is very wrong in my opinion. *** MATT J
(the Bynars): I hate tea and I hate parties. When I play tea party with
my neice, it’s pretty fun... but it’s fake tea and it’s a fake
party. Tea Party All Nite & Rock & Roll Everyday, like KISS unmasked
is what I say. You know they don’t wear masks, right? They wear makeup.
They’re always one step ahead of us, aren’t they... messing with
our minds... with music certainly, but also with jest. *** FRANK ROWE
(Classic Ruins): Well, I think that the Tea Party could have had a better
chance but for the rapid moral disintegration of us hippies, Don’s
target market. Rampant drugs, lust, and intellectual evanescence meant
that we could never truly focus long enough to realize that we were
seeing the next huge act, because we were too deep into our navels to grok
it. It was for a later, even more dissipated crew to reap the harvest
that we were too self-absorbed to glean, but they paid inflated ticket
prices in larger venues. Or were you asking about the Fort Point incident?
*** MICHAEL SAPORITO (Frank Booth’s Car): Great passion and anger—misguided
and irrational reasoning in the actual content. *** DUNCAN
WILDER JOHNSON (Trashachusetts/
Bring the Knife): I don’t get it. They hate Obama because they think
he did something unconstitutional? They don’t want their fellow Americans
to be healthy? Some patriots. *** DAVID
KIRKDORFFER (the Blank Attack/
UNDO): The Tea Party, seemingly led by Sarah “Queen of Hearts” Palin,
is full of Mad Hatters and March Hares. If the Democratic and Republican
parties don’t start enacting changes, someone will steal their tarts!
If that happens, let’s hope the Catepillar has some good stuff for
us all to smoke. *** KAREN
DeBIASSE (Girl On Top): Great...
except for infiltrators who will undermine it. *** SIMON
RITT (the Darlings): One thing about
being in the Darlings is ya’ got to like to party... tea party, birthday
party, New Years Eve or a cocktail party who really gives a good God
damn as long as there is plenty of booze and ashtrays and that all the nice
looking chicks are over eighteen. *** DAVE
TREE (SuperPower/ Tree): I
went down to the Tea Party event on the Common. First thing I noticed
was the Tea Party people hated it when I read their signs. Hated even
more when I questioned them. I was told to move on but I made them move
on because they couldn’t stand up for what they held up over my head.
The second thing I noticed was they didn’t have their facts right,
Obama didn’t bankrupt this country, Bush did that, but they want to
“Take this country back” back where to the Bush years? *** CHUCK U. ROSINA
(WMBR/ WMFO): The Tea Party? On the one hand, I understand their frustrations
with big government, but they are more then slightly misguided. Corporate
government is more the problem. Get government out of health care? Oh,
is it better to leave it in the for-profit insurance sector, where the
bottom line is more important then your health? Can’t have government
come between me and my doctor, but insurance companies can? That’s
too weird. And it gets even weirder when they say don’t cut Medicare,
or compare Obama to Hitler. Get a grip on reality. Lolita: It’s the Tea Party—there is no reality.
ALL GOIN’
OUT TOGETHER
Rita: While Lolita is lost in reality, I’m going
to sneak out without her. Here’s where I’ll be… THE DARLINGS countrify
Johnny D’s on Thursday, 6/3. *** On Friday, 6/4, AXEMUNKEE celebrates
Gemini birthdays at the Cantab. *** WHAT TIME IS IT, MR. FOX? performs
at the kick off for Boston Gay Pride festival (10:00 am-5:00 pm) in
Faneuil Hall on Saturday, 6/5. *** THE INCREDIBLE CASUALS continue to
play the Wellfleet Beachcomber—every Sunday throughout the summer
(’cept 6/6—Chandler fears this day of the devil). *** There’s
an art opening for ANDER
CHURCHMAN with FLUFFY LUMBERS
supplying the music at Zuzu on Monday, 6/7. *** BLACK HELICOPTER returns
to the Middle East on Wednesday, 6/9. *** On Saturday, 6/12, CLYDESDALE
COWBOYS russle ’em up at Club Bohemia. *** Same night Hear Now Live!
presents McALISTER DRIVE at Precinct. *** Also on that same night DAVE COFFIN releases his new CD, The King is Dead, at Lizard Lounge. *** I HAVE EARS performs at Club
Bohemia on Saturday, 6/19. *** On Thursday, 6/24, THREE DAY THRESHOLD
rounds ’em up(stairs) at the Middle East. *** Hear Now Live! presents
SUPER VOLCANO at Church on Friday, 6/25. *** On Saturday, 6/26, ROCK
BOTTOM rocks Johnny D’s. *** Every Thursday in June HEY MAMA holds
residency at Precinct. Lolita: Hey—I’ll be there, too! See you in the
clubs!
Comments?
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Rita: April showers bring May flowers. Lolita:
Has that boat pulled into port again? Rita: I’m into flowers this year because flowers
attract birds. Lolita: And I am transforming into a bird. Rita:
I’ll admit you do have a birdbrain, and some people think you’re
as pretty as a bird, but I would really just like you to fly away. Lolita:
But then you’d be left to write this gossip column by yourself—and
I’m not sure you’re capable of that. Rita: Last time you criticized my writing, you
landed in the hospital—by accident, of course. Remember that male
nurse that really took to you? Lolita: Ahh yes—Robert—he gave me a sponge bath
every two hours. Rita: Let’s ask our favorite music-related friends
what kind of experiences they’ve had with nurses. Lolita: Well, there’s Dave, Dave, Dave, and Dave—I’ll
start out by asking them…
NURSES
Lolita: Hey Dave-times-four—tell me a story about
a nurse. DAVID MIRABELLA (the Rationales): Recently an older relative
was in the hospital, listening to his iPod when a young nurse came in
and asked him what he was listening to. “Levon Helm, but you probably
don’t know him,” he said, assuming she didn’t know her rock history.
She replied “Oh my god! I LOVE the Band and just went to see a Last
Waltz tribute show at a club called the Lizard Lounge, but you probably
haven’t heard of it.” He got a kick out of the dual wrong assumptions,
particularly since he knew the Rationales had played that show. *** DAVID KIRKDORFFER
(the Blank Attack/ Undo): My darling sweetheart is a charge nurse in
an emergency room. The stories she tells about her work and ERs would
horrify you. Like police officers and firefighters, ER nurses are on
the front line. Anytime I think I have a bad day at work, I know my
“bad day” is tame compared to hers. Nobody dies on me, or needs
a catheter inserted, or needs a sponge bath to remove caked on “dirt,”
or brings their psychotic family members along, or threatens to sue
me. She’s my hero. *** DAVID
DELUCA (Highway Ghosts): I
have a nurse story. My daughter, Danielle, was born five weeks premature
and weighed a mere 3lbs 9oz. She had to stay in the hospital for two weeks.
One particular nurse, Bella, really stood out. She told me (in a heavy
Russian accent) “you don’t worry about this one… she’s feisty.”
Over the next two weeks, Bella taught me all about caring for a premature
baby. Her confidence and amazing nursing skills gave my entire family
the reassurance that we desperately needed. Lolita: Good answer. David: Thank you. I should also mention that
the nurse was right! Danielle is now about 17 lbs and very healthy and
happy. *** DAVE TREE (SuperPower/DrugWar/Tree): My grandmother
was a nurse and so is my little sister Ellen. She works at Brigham &
Women's in the ICU. She called me up one day to visit a terminally ill
patient that was a big Tree fan. I went and hung out with him one afternoon
and brought him a bunch of cool stuff. He was a great guy. My sister’s
gift touched us both very deeply. It was an honor. He passed away a
few days later. Doctors can fix you but it’s the nurses that heal
you.*** BRIAN KING (What Time Is It, Mr. Fox?):When I was four,
I had to stay in Children’s Hospital for awhile. A family friend bought
me a toy police set to cheer me up, including handcuffs that could only
be unlocked with a key. A very timid nurse on her first day of work
soon found herself handcuffed to my bedpost. The key was nowhere to
be found. The other nurses had to saw her free as she held back the
tears. I publicly apologize for any emotional damage I might have caused.
Or if she’s become a dominatrix as a result, I wish her a lucrative
career. *** SAMMY MIAMI (Houndstone): My grandmother was a nurse in
the United States Army. While stationed overseas during World War II
she tended to sick, wounded and dying soldiers. After the war, she raised
a family while continuing as a volunteer nurse for disabled veterans.
She was a truly amazing woman that I will forever miss. There’s more
to the story written in a song I call “Grandma.” *** GENO JOHNSTON
(Dead Friends): When I was a kid I had several eye operations. The recovery
room at Children’s Hospital in Boston was bewildering because I woke
up blind, sick, and terrified. I was probably about seven. Then a nurse
came in to take off my patches and she looked exactly like Florence
Henderson of the Brady
Bunch. And get this! It said
Nurse Brady on her nametag! She was kind, comforting, and made the whole
process as pleasant as possible. Nurse Brady also let me believe she
was in fact Mrs. Brady from the Brady
Bunch. Obviously I haven’t
forgotten her. *** RICK
BERLIN (self): My friend Charlie—sick
in Prague: a well-conditioned, hot, middle-aged blonde, tight pantsuit,
glossy magazines under one arm, disappears behind a mystery door. One
of three on a yellow wall opening and closing like cuckoo clocks. What’s
going on in there? Prague porn? She emerges, mild sweat on brow, an
elder statesman MD to translate. She dyke-straddles a stainless steel
three-legged stool, knees apart, nose in Charlie’s mouth. Ungloved
fingers up nostrils, into throat, gums, under tongue—unperturbed.
He gags. A twelve-minute exam. Translator exits. Nurse writes up pills.
Charlie is oddly pleased. Lolita: What a strange experience. Rick: Sadly, the end results was HIV-positive.
*** BILL GOFFRIER (Big Dipper/ the Embarrassment): My favorite
ever nurse, Big Dipper bassist/ songwriter/ tour-mom Steve Michener,
an RN in the state of Washington. *** FRANCIS
DIMENNO (Wrong Hero/ the Noise):
At about the age of seven I fell off a slide and was sent to the hospital
with a broken wrist and a fractured skull. The doctor had to stitch
my scalp without anesthesia, and he kept saying “Just one more...
just one more....” The nurse, who was standing by, kept saying, “Stop
lying to him, Frank!” Lolita: Ha! I love that. At least now we know how
you became the Wrong Hero.
NEWS OF N.E. MUSIC
Rita: Wow, knowing the story of how the Wrong Hero
came into being is just like knowing the origins of Superman. Only the
Wrong Hero is an actual person. He can’t bend steel in his bare hands,
but he can write a CD review. Lolita: No, that’s like talking about Clark Kent
as if he were Superman. Get it straight—Francis DiMenno writes the
reviews, the Wrong Hero just does everything wrong. Lolita: Okay, let’s get on with the news that someone
may understand… While BABALOO takes a break from performances, lead
singer BRUNO MOLTO is teaching a Women’s Extreme Self-Defense
Class at Spontaneous Celebrations in Jamaica Plain. Classes are every
Thursday at 6:30 pm and are $10 for an hour. *** NICOLE
TAMMARO is working on her third
book—this one is called Boston
Rock. *** BRETT
MILANO is doing local radio
show, The Sound of Our
Town on WBCN HD on Sundays
3:00-5:00pm. *** High school bands interested in participating in the
High School Band Brawl should complete the submission process at TotalPatriots.com
by May 21. The competition is planned for June 6 (11:00 am) at Gillette
Stadium. *** BLEU, past resident of Boston and winner of the 2001
Rumble, is now writing songs for American
Idol and the Jonas Brothers.
*** CCTV in Central Square is coming up on its 500th show (due to air
in August), but they’ve also are dealing with having to move because
an increase in the rent. *** WILL
DAILEY signed the Think Outside
the Bottle pledge. Think Outside the Bottle is a campaign working to promote,
protect, and ensure public funding for our public water systems while
cutting down on plastic toxicity and waste. Lolita: Here I thought Will was getting on the wagon.
FISH
Rita: While Lolita tries to hitch a ride on Will’s
wagon, I’m going to ask people what kind of fish they like to eat.
Pete, what fish do you prefer on your dinner table? PETE
WEISS (the Weisstronauts/ Sool/
Verdant Studio): Brook trout. It’s delicate, flaky, tasty, and sustainable.
Makes for a nice paté, too. *** MARK
KATES (Fenway Recordings):
Salmon. It is delectable, whether poached, grilled, smoked, or sushi.
Preferably in Wellfleet or nearby! *** LIZ
LINDER (photographer): Shellfish.
Because they are the best fish, obviously. Lolita: Well, that sounds like a very shellfish thing
to say. I’m sure there are some people who prefer the sad qualities
of bluefish, the holiness of mackerel, or the multi-hugs given by the
octopus. *** KAREN DeBIASSE (Girl On Top): I like all seafood. See food
and eat it. *** SHAUN WOLF
WORTIS (Galo Malo): Monkfish—just
absolutely delicious, and usually wild and locally caught. I have nothing
funny or clever to add to this. All I can say is monkfish! *** PETE
SUTTON (the Vivs): Shrimp for
the simple reason that it’s one of those perfect foods God created
that cannot be improved upon, sort of like hot Italian sausage and chocolate
cupcakes... those are also God created, right? Rita: Yes, I just Googled your question and there
is a reference in the Bible of Jesus breaking one sweet miniature chocolate
cake at a birthday party to feed all the 35 guests. You can always count
on the facts on the information superhighway. *** BRUCE
ALLEN (the Doom Buggies): The
only fish I eat are Swedish fish—the original Swedish erotica. Now
they are common, but when I was a kid up in Maine, they were a rare,
sweet, exotic delicacy. I would walk into the corner store where they
sold them individually for a penny and say, “How much for the whole
box?” *** CHRIS BRAT (the Acro-brats/ By the Throat/ Jason Bennett
& the Resistance/ the Spoilers): I like shrimp wrapped in bacon
because it’s wrapped in bacon. That’s a fish, yeah? *** VINYL VON RICCI
(Mahi Mahi): My favorite fish to eat is salmon. I used to hate it because
of its fishy flavor, but then I realized that it’s delicious and I
was wrong. I love it as a filet, pan seared with horseradish butter.
*** RAY MASON (Ray Mason Band/ Lonesome Brothers): I’m
currently enjoying all fish as those Omega-3s supposedly help to lower
your triglycerides! *** DWIGHT
SOAKUM (Saliva Slingers): Favorite
fish? I like cooking up octopus. As a matter of fact I’m
chopping up suckers right now! (we’re a rap group). *** BOB GOBRON
(Shakyfoot): My favorite fish to eat is the one striper I take per year
to grill. Since I have a self-imposed one-fish-kept-per-year limit,
I have very strict criteria. The fish must be just over the 29” length
limit and about 15 lbs. I do this because smaller, younger fish have
not had much time to accumulate toxins in their flesh. Also, I don’t
like stripers that have been on bunker—too oily. Once we pulled a
4 lb. lobster out of a 15 lb. striper and man if that fish didn’t
taste just like lobster. Yum. Lolita: Wow—were you able to eat the lobster too—or
was it already digested too much? Bob: We thought about it, for sure. It wasn’t
digested at all. Probably wasn’t in the fish’s belly for more than
an hour, but it was already dead (the carapace was cracked a little,
probably when it got swallowed) and it’s never a good idea to eat
a dead lobster. Another time we had a striper on that puked up a pogie
when it got near the boat and we saw the pogie take off like a shot.
Oh, I gots me some fishin’ stories. *** KEN
FIELD (Revolutionary Snake
Ensemble/Birdsongs of the Mesozoic/Agachiko/Musaner): Salmon, but what’s
up with the silent “L”? Rita: I just Googled your question and found that
many years ago the head salmon statesmen got together and decided they
needed to distance themselves from possibly being mistaken for salesmen,
so they agreed to silence the L. I swear by the information highway. Ken:
Uhh, thanks for clearing that up. *** CARLENE
BAROUS (Carlene Barous Band):
I like any fish that tastes like chicken—like Gorton’s Fish Sticks
and Filet o’ Fish. I also enjoy whole fish happy family, which is
best seared in its own juices. Floundering seems to be popular. *** ALAN COHEN
(…Experience): My favorite seafood to eat is Swedish fish, in a dish
with a knish, watching the commish. So delish! *** NOLAN SULLIVAN
(ITtheverb): Lobster is easily the best fish to eat any time, anywhere,
any day. Lolita: I took a tour in Maine one time and they
said that lobster was fed to the slaves all the time—seven days a
week. Slaves finally were able to write it into their contracts that
they would get something other than lobster one day a week. Rita:
Who knew they had slaves in Maine? T
Max: Who knew that the slaves
had contracts?
MUSICAL CHAIRS
Rita: Lolita off on a mental vacation to Maine,
so I’m going to see what I can dig up on relatively new bands that
have emerged. Wow—I’ve got to see this band—NAKED ON ROLLER
SKATES. We can just picture LEESA
COYNE, TRAVIS
RICHTER, RANDY
CREASI, and KELLY
DAVIDSON skating around on
stage. *** THE CATBIRDS consist of STEVE
WOOD, RIKKI
BATES, DINTY
CHILD, and CHANDLER
TRAVIS. Their Boston-area debut
was on 4/8 at the Lizard Lounge. *** TONY
SAVARINO’s new band, TONY
SAVARINO & THE SATANIC LOUNGE SYNDICATE, performs tunes from Tony’s
upcoming solo CD Guitaring. *** GABRIELLE
AGACHIO (Buck Moon) has a project
called AGACHIKO that plays music by and inspired by Nina Simone. *** TONY GODDESS
(Jenny Dee & the Deelinquents) and his wife SAMMANTHA
GODDESS are part of THE
LINDSAY BUCKINGHAM ADMAIRATION SOCIETY and will perform Tusk in its
entirety at the Lizard Lounge on Friday, 5/15. *** BLACK
THAI includes JIM HEALEY (We’re All Gonna Die), SCOTT
O’DOWD (Cortez), COREY COCOMAZZI
(Voda), and one of our favorite Boston drummers JEREMY
HEMMOND (Cortez). *** THE JEREMIAH
WEED FOUNDATION is a new combo with JOEY
PESCE, KEN
SCHOPF, and SHAWN
WOLF WORTIS. Lolita: These guys look like that should be in a
band together.
MAY 15
– ARMED FORCES DAY
Rita: I have to admit I never heard of this holiday,
but it’s labeled on my calendar—May 15 is Armed Forces Day. How
will you be celebrating this holiday? KIER
BYRNES (Three Day Threshold):
We’re sending a bunch of free copies of our new CD, Straight
Out of the Barrel to some of
the servicemen and women we met last year when Three Day Threshold did
a military tour for the U.S. troops stationed overseas. *** MARK BRYANT
(Plimro Records): I’ll be putting on my Green Shirt with the Big Boys
and providing Senior Service for Oliver’s Army. We’ll start by searching
for two Little Hitlers who were last seen tormenting a Party Girl in a
so-called “Chemistry Class.” After that I’ll be joining the Goon
Squad to determine the new Moods For Moderns. But you never know, Accidents
Will Happen and at the end of it all I’ll probably just ask, What’s
So Funny ’bout Peace Love and Understanding? *** PETER
C. JOHNSON (Peter C. Johnson):
I’ll be at the veterans’ hospital continuing my work as an intern
on the addictions unit. I’m seeing a lot of young men and women coming
back with opiate addictions and PTSD. It’s heartbreaking. I skipped
out on my generation’s war, so it feels good being part of the recovery
process in this one. *** SLIMEDOG (the Noise): I will be enjoying Armed Forces Day in the
same way as I believe many of you will be celebrating this holiday.
I will be dressing up my three pet cockatoos in different military regalia—one
in the army, navy, etc. Then I dress up much like General Patton
and we reenact the Battle of Iwo Jima. It’s quite smashing though
a bit bloody at times. *** JEFF
BREEZE (CBOP): I always forget
to do anything special for this day. I do usually remember to listen
to the whole album for My
Aim Is True day. I like that
one far better. *** CARL
BIANCUCCI (the Fighting Cocks):
I will re-enlist in the Kiss army. *** EDRIE (Walter Sickert & the Army of Broken Toys):
I will celebrate Armed Forces Day as I celebrate every Armed Forces
Day, by donning my red, white, and blue nipple tassels, straw cowboy
hat, and red leather boots and going to the top of Bunker Hill to sing
the entirety of the “The Salute to the Armed Forces” whilst twirling
those tassles in the concentric circles—really no better way to support
our troops. *** CHUCK U.
ROSINA (WMBR/ WMFO): Armed
Forces Day??? We already have Memorial Day, and Veterans Day (which
used to be Armistice Day—commemorating peace, not war). Enough already.
I guess I’ll spend part of the day listening to the music of Sgt.
Maxwell’s Peace Chorus. Lolita: What a great segue to plug Sgt. Maxwell’s,
I mean T MAX’s, upcoming CD, Why
Do We Go to War? T sings and
plays everything except the jet engine guitar by MIKE
LOCE (the Doublenecks) on the
title track. The CD is already getting airplay—thanks to Chuck U.
ALL GOIN’
OUT TOGETHER
Lolita: Come and join me at these cool events: RICK PAIGE
presents the Allston Johnny D’s reunion on Saturday, 5/1, at Church
featuring THE TURBINES. *** The finals of the Rock Showdown on Sunday 5/2 (12:30 pm) at the Center for the Arts in Natick will include AWESOME EXPRESS (from Wellesley, Needham, and Newton), THE JESSICA PROUTY BAND (from Marblehead), THE DEADLY STYLES (from Sudsbury) and BLINDFOLD ASIDE (from Boston). *** JORDAN VALENTINE & THE SUNDAY SAINTS
are at T.T. the Bear’s on Wednesday, 5/5. *** SLIP KID (featuring
GARY and MARCUS CHERONE) play their Who tribute at the Hard
Rock Café on Friday, 5/7. *** BIG
CATHOLIC GUILT (1992 Rumble
champs) was known for their big sound and fabulous light show. They’re
back to play on Saturday, 5/8, at the Middle East Downstairs. *** Same
night INCUS spreads the good vibes at the Cantab. *** Our favorite master
of the beat-box keyboard, B.J.
SNOWDEN, plays Zuzu on Monday,
5/10. *** On Wednesday, 5/12, Mass Art Invades the Armory—many different genres of music mix with many different mediums of art. It's an all-ages show at 7:00 at the Somerville Armory. *** Come to CARMELITA’s Roast at the Magic Room on Friday, 5/14.
ASA BREBNER & FRIENDS and T
MAX perform. It’s a benefit
for the animal rescue league Help Save One. *** On Saturday, 5/15, PORT
CHARLES QUINTET headline at the Cantab. *** JASON BENNET & THE RESISTANCE
are at Great Scott on Monday, 5/17. *** THREE DAY THRESHOLD slam the
Middle East upstairs on Friday, 5/21. *** Lastly, on Saturday, 5/29,
TOM WAITSIAN headlines at Precinct. Lolita: After going to all those shows I’m going
to admit myself into the hospital so I can get a sponge bath from nurse
Robert. Rita: You do know that nurse Robert is none other
than ROBBIE ROADSTEAMER pretending to be a nurse! Ha! See you next
month!
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Lolita: Now, I know everyone is getting excited about
showing off their spring wardrobe. Rita: And think of all the new material that songwriters
have fretted over during the long New England winter. They’re anxious
for you to hear their fresh creations. Lolita: So put on your spring best and get out there
to socialize. Go see your favorite performers. Rita: Lolita, do you have a Question of the Month
in your back pocket? Lolita: Well, let me see if I do. Why, yes, it says,
no fat ice cream, lipstick, birdfood… Rita: That’s not a Question of the Month. Lolita:
No, it’s my April Fool’s Day joke on you. Rita: What an awful joke. It’s not even funny. Lolita:
Well, tell me something that is. Rita: Exactly! That will be our Question of the
Month. Lolita: So now you do like my shopping list? Rita:
No, go run down to Mass. Ave. and ask everyone, what’s the best April
Fool’s joke you’ve ever heard or experienced?
APRIL IS FOR FOOLS
Lolita: Hey, Linda—you look terrific, darling.
Tell me what is the best April Fool’s joke you’ve ever heard or
experienced? LINDA VIENS (Angeline): I have wonderful memories of creating
a completely “foolish” dinner with my mom and sibs for my dad on
April Fool’s Day: cat food meat loaf, soap bubble mashed potatoes,
grass spinach, and being SO excited to watch his reaction as he “dug
in” to his delicious meal. Too funny! Lolita: How long did it take for your dad to realize
it was a joke meal? Linda: Heehee... oh you know... I’m pretty sure
he played along for QUITE a while. *** ZAC
TAYLOR (…& the Drugs/
Three Day Threshold): April 1, 1996, my mother was driving my brother
and I to school listening to 99X, our alternative rock station in Atlanta
at the time. Everyone’s favorite morning show DJs had apparently been
fired for gross misconduct, and the new DJs were refusing to play Nirvana
because of Kurt and Courtney’s drug use. Everyone in the city was
livid. In reality, our beloved DJs had swapped places with the April
Fool’s DJs in Austin, TX, and were at that moment duping their audience
with the same scoop. A glorious prank, indeed. *** DAVE
TREE (SuperPower/ Drugwar/
Tree ): April Fool’s Day is an ancient pagan Irish holiday of fertility.
My grandparents were married on that day in Ireland. To get married
on that day is to bless your new union with children. My mom insisted
on getting married on the same day despite my dad’s efforts to persuade
her on another day. It was tradition. 8 and a half months later I was
the first born child to their union, so in a sense I was the joke on
them. Thanks Mom I love you! *** TOMMY
TULIP (Anomopoly/ Nate Wilson
Group): On April 1, 1965, it was reported that the Danish government
was ordering all dogs in the country to be painted white to increase
road safety and dog visibility at night. I do that to my dogs anyway.
*** CORIN ASHLEY (Corin Ashley & His Traveling Band): It’s
no joke, but my favorite April Fool will always be Ronnie Lane, bass
player for the Faces, born on April 1st. He was a criminally underrated
talent who died way too young. *** CHUCK
U. ROSINA (WMBR / WMFO): April
Fool’s joke. Ha. I grew up Catholic. But I reformed...
I got over it. In fact, I despise the Catholic church today, and am
on a personal crusade (if I may use that word) to bring it down.
I know I can’t do this alone, but I throw my stones against the evil
empire. To that aim, I created an annual radio show: The April
Fool’s Crucifixion. The show really works best when April Fool’s
and Good Friday are on the same day. That happened twice in recent
decades. I manage to get phone calls from non-reformed Catholics
who find the show offensive. I tell them it’s an April Fool’s
joke. *** NOLAN SULLIVAN (ITtheverb): One of my favorite April fools
joke of all time was laying down saran wrap on the toilets. Ex-Lax in
an unsuspecting victim’s beverage never hurt but that can get messy quick. I’ve
heard about cups of water above doors for a lighthearted gag, but turning
your high school into a swimming pool always sounded like a blast. *** BRENDAN HOGAN
(Brendan Hogan): When I was in kindergarten, my witch of a teacher,
Mrs. B., fed me a wax cracker under my assumption that it was a real
snack. I loved crackers. She laughed in my face as I bit into it and
spit it out. It was my introduction to April Fool’s Day, and I will
never forgive her for it! (I still love crackers, and my distaste for
authority figures continues to, uh, wax.) *** PJ
ASPESI (Three Day Threshold):
One year I thought I would play a funny joke on my girlfriend. The plan
was to make her breakfast in bed, be super sweet, then drop a bombshell
and break up with her. So I made my famous pancakes, brought her juice
and flowers, waited till she was content, then broke the news. She yelled,
cried, and left. Now I had a quiet day to myself to play video games
and be lazy. Thing is I passed out on the couch and forgot to call her
back to say “April Fool’s.” Oh well, I hear she has a few kids
now. Lolita: Wow PJ, I guess the joke backfired on you.
MUSIC NEWS
Rita: Okay, I promise that none of the news I will
report will fall under an April Fool’s joke… SEXCOFFEE was awarded
the 2009 Limelight Magazine Live Act of the Year. *** Ultrasonic Rock
Orchestra’s ALAN WARE has a niece, SIOBHAN
MAGNUS, who’s made it to
the top 12 (as of this writing) in the latest American
Idol. *** What has NICK BLAKEY
been up to since his illness forced him to stop booking Church and playing
in bands? He’s become THE NIGHT RIDAH every Saturday night from 8:00
to 10:00 on WECB (Emerson College). Stream it at http://wecb.emerson.edu/
or tune into 640 AM. *** ELI
“PAPERBOY” REED made his
way onto DARYL HALL’s online live show (episode 27). The show’s
called Live from Daryl’s
House and that’s exactly
what it is. *** MISSION HILL played a month long residency at the Hard
Rock Café. Lolita: Is that really newsworthy? Rita: Well, when the Hard Rock Café is located
in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam, it is. *** In March RICK PISANO
was chosen to be the featured artist of the week on the international
site ReverbNation. Lolita: Come to think of it, all websites have international
readerships. *** WALTER SICKERT & THE ARMY OF TOYS have recorded
their upcoming CD (28
Seeds: The Last Radio Show)
with strings connected to tin cans in a wire forest. *** HAVE NOTS inked
a deal with Paper and Plastick Records (founded by VINNIE
FIORELLO of Less Than Jake
and Fueled By Ramen Records)—expect a CD this summer. *** CORIN ASHLEY
saw Yoko play in Brooklyn in February. Klaus Voorman played on a few
songs with her. Corin got Klaus to sign the pickguard on his Hofner
bass for some good Hamburg mojo. *** Quiet
Desparation, YouTube’s most
entertaining sitcom about the Allston art scene, is better than ever
with episode 19. CHIPPAH gets banned from the Noise Board so he starts
his own super duper message board. *** BEN
FOWLIE (Camden International
Film Festival/ Constants) has taken over as entertainment coordinator
for Bella Luna Restaurant and the Milky Way Lounge. *** LEADERS LED
of North Andover, MA, won the NCN ’10 Rompetition at the Middle East
beating out six other New England bands. *** EXTREME is releasing their Take Us Alive live
CD and DVD on Frontiers Records on April 23 in Europe and May 4
in the States. *** In Miami, SHEA
ROSE did a photo shoot for
CoverGirl makeup and recorded with producers COOL and DRE. *** VAGIANT
has changed their name to TIJUANNA SWEETHEART—they must be getting
serious about their promotion. *** Transit Music Group signed the hard
rock/ metal act MINDSET X from New Hampshire. *** THEA
HOPKINS’ song, “Jesus Is
On the Wire” is included on the recently released Peter, Paul &
Mary CD, The Prague Sessions. All the songs were recorded with the Czech
National Symphony Orchestra. *** SETH
GLIER, a 21 year-old singer/songwriter,
partnered his last tour with the Coats For Kids Foundation to raise awareness
for the organization and collect gently used coats, hats, gloves and
scarves for local school systems. Seth will be returning to Club Passim
on Tuesday, 4/6. Lolita: I hope Seth’s next tour helps collect bathing
suits because I can’t wait to get into mine.
IMPORTANT DATES
Rita: Lolita, I know a few fellas who’d be interested
in getting into your bathing suit. Lolita: That reminds me of March 4th,
1982. Okay, I was guilty too. Peter, do you have a date and event you would like
everyone to know? PETER
C. JOHNSON (Peter C. Johnson):
On December 18, 1970 (my 25th birthday), I opened for J. Geils and Van
Morrison at Symphony Hall in Boston. It was a perfect day. *** KEVIN RHEAULT
(Double Nines): Friday, May 19, 2006 5:45 pm. This is the date and time
that I was hit by a car while riding my bicycle and sustained a fractured
skull. After spending three days in the hospital and then the next few
months recovering I realized I needed to get back into the music world
I was involved with when I was younger. Now I play in a band (Double
Nines) and it’s the best band I’ve ever been in! *** JIM SULLIVAN
(Boston Herald/ Phoenix/ jimsullivanink.com): October 1, 1967. The
Red Sox beat the Twins for the second game in a row to win the AL pennant
and me and my parents were there, right field grandstand. When the fans
rushed the field—it was not yet a stupid sports cliché, but unbridled
joy—I looked at my folks and they gave me the nod of approval. I ran
on the field, whooped, hollered, gathered souvenir infield dirt and
grass, stood on the mound. Happiest day of childhood life. *** BRIAN FLYNN
(the Mayflys): On August 11th, 2006, Hilary Swank appeared
in Vanity Fair magazine and a man needed some time alone.
Three years later the MayFlys record “Why Can’t You Be More Like
Hilary Swank?” and the man wonders why he is still alone. You set
the bar too high, Hilary. *** SAMMY
MIAMI (Houndstone): Lonesome
Dave Peverett was born on April 16, 1943. I was born on the same day,
thirty years later. What’s the big deal? Dave and Foghat have always
been a huge influence on me, even before I knew this. I think it’s
really cool that I share my birthday with my idol. Dave passed in 2000
and I’ve since become friends with his family. They’re very supportive
of my music and I’m honored to have such a connection. Lolita:
You’re a very respectful guy. I like you for that. Sammy: With that being said, thank you for continuing
to include me in the publication, this too is an honor I greatly appreciate. Lolita:
Wow, a very respectful guy.
YOU’RE THE
PRESIDENT
Rita: While Lolita tries a new technique in picking
up men, I’ll try another question. A lot of American citizens are
upset that failing corporations got bailed out with taxpayer’s money,
only to see that money then be rewarded to those same corporate heads
in the form of bonuses. You’ve just been elected our president—what
are you going to do about the situation? TIM
MUNGENAST (Tim Mungenast &
His Preexisting Conditions): I’d tell the so-called bankers, “Because
you cretins have ruined capitalism, you are hereby sentenced to go back
in time and live as a communist in the Soviet Union, waiting in line
for toilet paper before being sent to a reeducation camp where there
is none.” *** STEVEN
HAIDAICHUK (Mindset X): As
president of the United States I would implement the following change
in response to the corporation bail outs: On April 1st of every
calendar year, all employees of corporations who received bail-out money
will be required to watch a full day of repeat episodes of Dora the Explorer, which has been said to improve social and
problem solving skills. Because, in the end, only children know what’s
best for the society. Swiper, no swiping. *** RICK
BERLIN (self): Don’t think
I’d have the tenacity or the patience to run this insane country.
And ya can’t steamroller (dictatorship). I guess all I’d do would
be to hold their noses to the toilet (BAD dog) through the media until
they wise up or vomit into their stuffed shirts. I don’t understand
greed (Mr. Gheko). Maybe because I’ve never experienced “too much”
enough to want more. F**k it—shove their feet in cement and drop ’em
in the tank. *** PRINCE
BENNY (Girlfriends): Rock-a-rock-a-rock-a
non-stop tonight uh-huh at the government center. Make the secretaries
feel better when they’re putting all those stamps on the letters.
*** SIMON RITT (the Darlings): Well, If I were president then
I like to think that I’d treat those corporate villains much the same
way that former President George W. Bush treated the terrorists... less blah,
blah, blah—more torture. *** PETER
MOORE (Count Zero): No bonuses
should be available to these people in cash, all tied to company stock.
That’s the least we can ask for. Truly, we need to instigate
a progressive salary tax on anyone making over, say, $2m a year in either
salary, bonus, or stock options. They are robber barons,
and their wealth is obscene. *** MICHAEL
BLOOM (Tim Mungenast &
his Pre-Existing Conditions): If I were in Obama’s shoes, I’d unleash
Attorney General Holder. It’s known that there was systematic fraud
in the subprime mortgage market, and now it looks like accounting fraud
at Lehman, and God knows where else. Somehow none of the financial class
have had to do perp walks yet, and until that happens, the American
people will believe that, as Dick Durbin says, “they own the place.”
*** PETE CASSANI (The Peasants/ Beefy DC): I would make income
tax progressive in the U.S.. The more you make, the more we take. I’d
go back to the tax rate of FDR who said when wealthy people cry poverty,
just laugh at them. They benefit most from this country so they should
pay more too. I’d also make all charters to corporations subject
to a five-year review. If a corporation were detrimental to the people,
their charter would be revoked and the corporation dismantled so a company
like ExxonMobil would be encouraged not to spill oil all over the world.
If they did, after five years their charter would be revoked. Same with
health insurance companies who refused to pay for people who got sick
under their policies. Same with drug companies that rushed untested
drugs to market, etc. Rita: Our true enemy is the corporate giants. They
control our politics, our food sources, our health care, our financial
stability, our military involvement, and probably our minds. We must
stick together to override their power.
ALL GOING OUT
TOGETHER
Lolita: Well, we’re all goin’ out together anyway,
SEA MONSTERS are in residency at Precinct every Sunday 10pm in April.
*** BLACK FORTRESS OF OPIUM plays T.T. the Bear’s on Sunday, 4/4.
*** We’ve got a three-day weekend event starting on Thursday 4/8 that
is a tribute/benefit for the late RAY
NEADES at Church. Highlights
over the weekend include THE NEIGHBORHOODS, MUCK & THE MIRES, and
THE RUDDS. *** At the Middle East Downstairs, Team Shred presents DIRTY
FEVER on Friday, 4/9. *** BLEU returns to town to play T.T. the Bear’s
on Saturday, 4/10. *** Same night DJ
MÄTHEW GRIFFIN will be DJ-ing
an all-ages show with SPINDLE SHANKS at Club Hell in Providence. ***
On Sunday, 4/11, try Between
Rock & An Art Space with
a dozen local artist plastering the walls of Church while ASA BREBNER
& FIENDS entertain. *** The CD release party for Across
Their Universe—Low Budget Records Does the Songs of the Beatles is at Johnny D’s on Tuesday, 4/13. *** BRETT MILANO
is on the hot end of a roast on Saturday, 4/17, at the Magic Room—FRANK ROWE
(solo) and THE CLASSIC RUINS are on board for the music section of the
roast. *** CONFRONT releases their new CD at the Middle East on Friday,
4/23. *** Into ’80s hair metal—go to Uncle Eddies to hear 80MPH.
*** On Monday, 4/26, MIKE
FIORE (Faces on Film) entertains
at Zuzu. *** On Thursday 4/29, the staged finals of the 32nd
annual WBCN Rumble will be held at Great Scott. HUMANWINE will win.
They already paid off the judges. *** The reunion of the mid-’80s
Allston club Johnny D’s will have lots of your favorite old bands
including MOOSE & THE MUDBUGS. It’s being held at Church
on Saturday, 5/1. *** Same date PARANOID SOCIAL CLUB hits the Portland
City Music Hall.
Lolita:
Now that spring is here, it’s time to get out of the house! Rita:
See you in the clubs!
|
|
|
MARCH IS ONLINE-ONLY
Rita: Welcome to our annual
March online-only issue. We all know the importance of the Internet
in business today, so our March issue pays homage to that idea. Lolita:
Being a print media business gives us the edge over other online-only
media businesses because we get to be where computers aren’t. You
can find the Noise in clubs, record stores, recording studios,
rehearsal spaces, cool clothing stores, cafes, restaurants, and sometimes
even in the bottom of a birdcage or litter box. Rita: There was
one time I went to a party and saw issues of the Noise torn to
shreds on the floor. Lolita: I remember that. Seems someone didn’t
like the review they got in that issue. Rita: You’ve got to
have thick skin to be in this business of show. Lolita: That’s
why New England musicians have an edge on musicians from warmer climates—they
already have thick skin living through New England winters. So anyway,
I went out and asked local rockers what helped them get through the
long cold New England winters—and I asked this question without Rita’s
permission. Rita: Why would you go behind my back like that?
Lolita: Who made up the rule that every question asked had to get
your approval? Rita: I did. Lolita: How come I didn’t
get a say in it? Rita: You didn’t come to the meeting.
NEW ENGLAND WINTERS
Lolita: I miss one meeting and I end up with no say. I’ll have
to make up my own meeting. But never mind that, hey Liz—I almost didn’t
recognize you covered up like a polar bear—please tell me what helps
you get through New England winters. LIZ BORDEN (Liz Borden Band/
Lizzie Borden & the Axes): The only thing that gets me through the
winter is thinking about Memorial Day weekend and heading to the Cape.
By February I am going crazy. I also try to keep myself busy and plan
at least one trip to someplace warm. When all else fails, I have a drink.
*** SETH BAILIN (the Sinbusters): Always think, "Well, it
could be colder." *** KEN FIELD (Revolutionary Snake Ensemble/Birdsongs
of the Mesozoic/Agachiko): New England summers. *** SHAUN WOLF
WORTIS (Mardi Gras/ Gato Malo): Pickup football! As T Max has been
party to, I organize a group of intrepid fellows who gather each and
every Sunday morning to play in any and every weather condition: blizzards,
ice-storms, many feet of snow, frigid cold, solid ice. The fun of the
game aside, it's a serious high to conquer whatever nature throws at
us. Absolutely gets me through the winter. *** LINDA VIENS (Angeline):
Many cups of hot tea with milk and sugar, snuggling up with a good book,
Burdick's dark hot chocolate with whipped cream, bundled up walks in
the snow, crystalline night skies. *** MONIQUE ORTIZ (A.K.A.C.O.D.):
I'm all done with the winters of the northeast, which is why I'm moving
to Austin this year. *** Erik Lindgren (Birdsongs of the Mesozoic/Arf
Arf Records): Skiing in Vermont—just returned from a two-day trek
doing cross-country and hitting the slopes at Okemo. *** CORIN ASHLEY
(Corin Ashley & the New Lows): This winter has been greatly enhanced by
two new instruments that have kept my fingers warm and busy. I bought
a Wurlitzer electric piano on Craigslist and got my buddy Jay to tweak
it and, well, let's just say there's been a lot of Supertramp going
down at the Ashley house. I also got an old ’60s Hofner Senator bass
like Stu Sutcliffe played and that has really reactivated my bass playing.
It makes plaster fall from my ceiling. *** CASEY DESMOND (Casey
Desmond): ProTools, and never leaving my studio EVER. *** BILLY CARL
MANCINI (Bird Mancini): The best cure for the winter blues is to
leave! I was lucky enough to spend time in the Caribbean during past
winters. All ailments and bad vibes melt away as you're served Coronas
and piña coladas on white sands. Not to mention the half naked women
parading around. Oops, I mentioned it... *** CHUCK U. ROSINA
(WMBR/ WMFO): We are lucky enough to have a fireplace in our living
room. Keep plenty of wood handy as we cuddle by the crackling of the
fire. Very pleasant, indeed. *** DAVID KIRKDORFFER (UNDO/
The Blank Attack): A bottle of Chartreuse always helps. And when things
get really difficult, reading the political rants on the Noise Board
reminds me how lucky I am to be alive in such a generous and giving
society. *** TONY SAVARINO (Black Fortress of Opium/ Garvy J,/
Montgomerys): Going to see Kevin Barry at Atwoods on Tuesday nights;
taking a guitar lesson from Chris Cote where I learned the symetric
assholian mode; doing gigs with the very talented Jenee Halstead; recording
the new Black Fortress of Opium CD with Ajda and Brian Vigilone! ***
ALLAN SHEINFELD (Roy Sludge): Booze, booze, Netflix, booze, weed,
booze and booze. *** PETER RINNIG (QRST's): Lots and lots of
skiing with my family and friends. Nashoba Valley is the best! Exercise,
fresh air and drinks at 4:00 p.m—nothing can be better. *** MR.
CURT (Mr. C. Ensemble): Chained to academic servitude (school bus
driving), it's been just homegrown perseverance for over thirty years.
A few well-timed vacations and holidays through December to March also
do the trick. Once upon a time, it was an active nightlife... now we're
more sedentary. Personally, an evening cocktail immediately following
work always works its magic. Then another extraordinary meal with Ms.
D. kitty snugglin', and either some tunes or TV. Early to bed and then
early to rise. Day-in, day-out, waiting for spring! *** SAMMY MIAMI
(Houndstone): One pickaxe, two tennis rackets, three shovels, four ice
scrapers, five snow tires and six twenty five pound sand bags. ***
MARK BRYANT (Plimro Records): Drinking moderate amounts of liquor
at TBones Roadhouse in Plymouth and counting the days ’til Jazzfest
and getting the hell out of here. *** JIM COUNTRYMAN (Lovewhip/
Erin Harpe & the Delta Swingers): Long, strenuous laps around our
practice space coupled with far off adventures under a heated blanket
with Empress Erin! As well as a new found love for whiskey and acoustic
blues. *** WALTER SICKERT (Walter Sickert & the Army of Broken
Toys) : A cuddle puddle of circus freaks, corset ladies, naked poets
and hot silver smoke otherwise known as band practice! *** ERIC BAYLIES
(Bad Motherfucker/ Baylies Band): I get through the cold New England
winters in two ways. One is by seeing great Providence and Boston bands.
The other is by touring as much as I can in the warm states. ***
AJDA THE TURKISH QUEEN (Black Fortress of Opium): Snuggling with
a handsome Italian guitarist! *** WILL DAILEY (Will Dailey):
Hot toddies. *** KEN LAFLER (the Weisstronauts): I grew up near
Buffalo, so... Lolita: So?… are you trying to say you were
raised by a buffalo family? Or that you know buffalo in the Biblical
sense? Or you were a hunter and wore buffalo skins to keep you
warm in the winter? Ken: I was raised by a Buffalo family, that’s
true. And yes, I knew buffalo in the Biblical sense (went to church
every Sunday). But I’ve never worn a buffalo skin while hunting. What
I should have said was that I’m from Buffalo. Do we have winter in
New England? I hadn't noticed... Lolita: Once the last snow is
gone, it’s like winter never happened.
NEWS & LONGHAIRED SINGERS
Rita: Lolita, sometimes your sense of geography scares me.
Lolita: It’s not my fault that I get a cryptic answer that set
my imagination racing. Maybe I’m slow in geography but I’m pretty
clever when it comes to boys. Rita: Speaking of boys, I have
a date tonight with a tall longhaired singer. Lolita: Well, have
fun. I’ll miss you at the meeting? Rita: What meeting? Lolita:
Don’t worry, it’s nothing. Don’t you have some news to read?
Rita: Why, yes I do. Here now the news… Rounder Records (Burlington,
MA) signed American legend, songwriter, actor, and social activist,
WILLIE NELSON. *** HAVE NOTS have just signed with Paper and Plastick
records. The label will be re-releasing the band’s first album,
Serf City USA, on vinyl in the spring and a new full release is
expected by fall. *** KAREN DeBIASSE (Girl on Top) has created
her first film, What on Earth is Happening? with MARK PASSIO.
*** ROGER MILLER teaches a course at RISD called Thweck. It's
a sound design course, that teaches you how to alter sound to create
amazing out of context sound environments. *** Wachtelligence is the
name of AJ WACHTEL’s column on bostonblues.com. Lolita:
Is that pronounced “what intelligence?” *** ERIC SCHMIDER
changed the name of his band from MOLLYCODDLE to THE ONE SMITH. ***
PIEBALD is getting together, but they’re not calling it a reunion.
It’s to celebrate the re-release of their out-of-print catalog.
Piebald: First Ten Years is a three-volume set with two discs in
each volume. Rise Records plans to release volume one in April, volume
two in May, and volume three in June. Here’s a new way to get your
music out to the public—write and produce a song for the release of
a book! That’s what THADDEUS HOGARTH did for MICHAEL PALMER’s
The Last Surgeon. *** The Real School of Music is a membership-based
music education and performing arts community, headquartered in Burlington,
MA. It recently merged with Allegro School of Music in Stoneham, MA.
*** "White Dress," a new song from KERMIT’S FINGER is featured
in the trailer for movie by Bill Doherty Jr. called Love Hurts.
*** *** Episode 17 of Quiet Desperation is online and our favorite
supporting actor, comedian SEAN SULLIVAN, continues to show the
true spirit of the warped personalities on the Noise Board as the character
Chippa. Lolita: In efforts to clean up the Noise Board, we’re
taking the trash out—all unruly characters with no sense of common
decency are being banned from the board. Chippa—for those comments
you made about ROB POTYLO (Robby Roadsteamer)—we’re sorry
to say, you’re banned from the Noise Board.
ST. PATTY WACK
Lolita: Well, without Chippa
on the Noise Board it might be a bearable place for me to play. I’ll
be hanging out there for a while. Rita, why don’t you come up with
a question to ask our musical friends? I’m tired of being the one
who always has to stand out in front of a club gathering answers.
Rita: Okay. What’s the big deal? Let’s see. March 17 is Saint
Patty’s Day. I’m going to see the GOBSHITES. I need to find out
some more information about this little known saint that has a holiday
all to himself. Hey Dave, tell me something personal about St. Patrick.
You know, something that not everyone would know. Like, we all know
he was an Irish leprechaun—give me something else. DAVE TREE
(SuperPower/ DrugWar/ Tree): St. Pat isn't Irish—he is English. He
was captured in an Irish raid and brought back to Ireland where he had
vision of Jesus while tending sheep, and converted to Christianity.
Proof positive that he didn't bring it to Ireland, it was already there,
probably out of Egypt. St. Pat escaped Ireland to Italy consecrated
a Bishop by Pope Celestine. Returned to Ireland in 432 during the reign
of high king Laoghaire where he performed miracles such as turning himself
and his followers into deer to avoid an ambush by Celtic druids. He
tried to convert his old master Miliuc but the old pagan lit his house
on fire and then entered it to be immolated in flames rather than be
converted to a new faith by his old swineherd. *** BOB GOBRON
(Shakyfoot): Not a lot of people know this but St. Pat's last name was
"McGroin." I heard this, bra! *** KIER BYRNES
(Three Day Threshold): While I love St. Paddy’s Day, I hate scally caps.
I look like a tool in ’em. Cowboy hats are good enough for me. My
favorite part about St. Pat’s is relearning all the Irish traditionals
I used to listen to as a kid. Lolita: No Kier, what do you know
about St. Patty? Lolita: No, Kier—tell me something personal
about St. Patrick, not something about St. Patty's Day. Kier:
I see. The question didn't make that much sense to me. Sorry. I never
knew the saint personally. *** SLIMEDOG
(the Noise): I know this is probably not unique but on St. Patrick’s
Day as a child my mother would dress me in a leprechaun outfit but for
some reason I confused Easter and Halloween with the day and dressed
in my green suit with pointy shoes. I would go from house to house with
an Easter basket hoping to collect candy from my neighbors. Needless
to say I was unsuccessful and the local bullies would throw rocks and
hit me with sticks until I headed home, crying and sobbing, where my
mother would soothe me with corned beef cabbage flavored candy. ***
ERIC SCHMIDER (the One Smith/ Mollycoddle): Well, being Jewish,
I don't know about this St. Pat's thing, but I have it from a very good
source, Matt Burwell (Irish drummer extraordinaire for the Pills, Corin
Ashley, and Daniel Cage) that St. Pat had a penchant for playing paddy
cake with young boys way before it was in vogue in Ireland and Boston.
I hope I don't get in trouble for saying this. Lolita: Rita,
where are the rest of your answers? Rita: It got really cold
outside and I only lasted ten minutes. That’s all the answers I got.
Besides I had to get ready for my date.
MUSICAL CHAIRS
Lolita: Okay, while Rita gets
ready for her first date of the year, I’ll update you on the movement
of local musicians in bands. And if your band has added or subtracted
a member, please get in touch with us (write
This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it
) and we’ll report it. In a word play
on A.K.A.C.O.D., ROGER MILLER, MONIQUE ORTIZ, and LARRY
DERSH equal AKA MOD! It’s unsure how many gigs they will take
on. *** WITCH has a live video online—in which drummer MARIO RUBALCABA
(Earthless) is sitting in for J. MASCIS. *** THE BLANK ATTACK
includes DAVID KIRKDOFFER (UNDO/ Super-Cannes) on guitar,
JON WOBESKY (Reverand Glasseye/ Womb to Tomb) on bass, ADAM CRARY
(Specimen 37) on vocals, and DAVE ROSS (Girl on Top) on drums. ***
THE J. GEILS BAND seems to be back in action. The band played six shows
in 2009 and one so far in 2010 where PETER WOLF called it the
"last" Geils show, but added "never say never."
*** MATT RHODES and ANNA PRICE (the Silver Lining) have
a new duo called the RHODEDENDRONS. *** CHARLIE SILVA has left
SHAKYFOOT to drum full time with NO ROOM TO BREATHE. *** JASON MATTHEWS
(Electrik Blue/the Kozmik Truth) is the new drummer for SHAKYFOOT. ***
DUPPY CONQUERORS is a Bob Marley tribute band consisting of CURTIS
KING on vocals, MARK FERRANTI on bass, JONAS KAHM
and TIM HUGHES on guitar, SARAH MENDELSOHN on drums,
CAROL NAMKOONG on keys, JEFF ROBINSON on sax/ keys, JOHN
FRAZEE on trumpet, and JOE STEWART on trombone. *** MIKE
GENT (the Figgs) is playing with a solo band called RAPID SHAVE.
Rapid Shave consists of JOHN POWHIDA. Lolita: I noticed
that John Powhida is playing with almost everyone I know. Rita:
Oh crap. I didn’t think he’d tell you. Lolita: Tell me what?
You mean your long-haired singer date is with JPo?!
OBAMA GOOD OBAMA BAD
Rita: I have to run right now—don’t
want to be late for my date. Lolita: But what about the third
Question of the Month? Rita: Here, I wrote it all down on this
napkin. Will you post it into our column? I really have to run. Lolita:
Well, ’bye Rita. Have fun with MY old boyfriend. Now that Rita is
gone, I’m going to hold a meeting for Our Eyes on You (that’s the
name of this column, in case you forgot). Those in favor of letting
Lolita make up all future Questions of the Month say aye. Aye.
All opposed… Well, now that that is settled, let see what Rita
wrote on this dirty napkin. Okay, her handwriting is really bad. I think
it says, Obama—best or worst action taken since being sworn in as
president. Here are the answers she scribbled down. JOEL SIMCHES
(Count Zero/ Joe Turner & the Seven Levels/ Axemunkee): Obama had
a meeting with Republicans to discuss partisanship and moving forward.
While he didn't use the opportunity to bash his opposition, he confronted
their rhetoric, answered their questions and was so successful in calling
them out on their partisan bullshit that FNC cut their feed! ***
KAREN DeBIASSE (Girl On Top): It's all bad. Obama, and any president, is
just a puppet, which makes the presidency of the United States a lie—so
how can we trust anything? *** MIKE LOCE (the Noise/ the
DoubleNecks): Here are a few of the best things I believe President
Obama has done: shaking stuff up by remaining solid, not apologizing
for holding fast to a pre-set plan when the choppy waters of American
media chaos crest around him; talking to younger people in real sentences,
not word phrases busting at the seams with maladjusted agendas; and
continuing to smoke and play basketball. Then again, he’s only been
in a year and a half so let’s see how it goes. *** TIM MUNGENAST
(Tim Mungenast & His Preexisting Conditions): The worst thing Obama
has done, or at least the worst thing he's done that nobody is talking
about, is making Admiral Dennis Blair our intel chief. This man aided
and covered up the Indonesian military's mass murder of Timorese civilians
and then lied to Congress about it. Obama also kept Bush's boy William
Gates, the guy who sold Saddam Hussein poison gas during the Reagan
years. Think about THAT one for a second. If Reagan was evil for letting
Gates do that, then what does that make Obama, whom I reluctantly voted
for? (I wanted to vote for Ron Paul but I was afraid that act of protest
would hand the de-facto presidency to Palin, whose Indian name is Shoots
Wolves From Helicopters.) *** SHAWN MARQUIS (Circle Circle Star):
Claim that he isn't accepting contributions from lobbyists for his campaign,
then hiring Teal Baker from the Podesta Group as a high-level director
of his efforts. *** IAN KENNEDY (Reverse): Worst thing: hiring
Summers and Geithner instead of Stiglitz and Krugman. Oh yeah, and the
torture. *** FRANK ROWE (Classic Ruins): The best thing he’s
done was to replace George Bush. Lolita: Now, that I can relate
to. People forget so quickly.
ALL GOIN’ OUT TOGETHER
Lolita: Rita, you’re back
from your date very early. What happened? Rita: Well, there must
have been some kind of mix up in our communication. JPo showed up with
his girlfriend. He thought it was just a get-together and anyone could
come. Lolita: Don’t let it get you down. Here… come out with
me. In fact, come out with me all month. Here’s our itinerary: Every Wednesday night in March at the Midway, CHANDLER TRAVIS PHILHARMONIC is in residency. *** JENNY
DEE & THE DEELINGQUENTS release their CD at T.T. the Bear’s on
Friday, 3/5. *** On that same night at Club Bohemia (downstairs at the
Cantab) we’re aiming to see GIANT TARGET. *** Saturday, 3/6, has BEFORE
THE CRASH at Uncle Eddie’s in Salisbury Beach. *** THE GOBSHITES are
part of the South Boston St. Patty’s Day Parade on Sunday, 3/14, at
1:00 pm. *** On Thursday, 3/18, the Get Up Git Down presents Beat
Train Sound System’s CD release party with a special appearance by
the Notorious P.U.S.S.Y. Galore Fly Girls at Zuzu. *** Same night APOLLO SUNSHINE return to play the Paradise. *** Hardcore fans
will be out to see RAZORS IN THE NIGHT play the Middle East upstairs
as part of Boston Rules, OK 2010, on Saturday 3/20. *** On that same
night disco fans will flood Johnny D’s to shake it to BOOTY VORTEX.
*** THE GRAB BROTHERS release their CD at Hennessy's Hooleys on Thursday, 3/25. *** On Saturday, 3/27, a bunch of Harmonix (makers of Guitar Hero/Rock
Band/ Beatles Rock Band) bands play the Middle East Downstairs. ***
Looking ahead to April, the Cantab has two nights for the Rat Reunion,
Friday and Saturday 4/2 and 4/3. Rita: Well, thanks Lolita for
being so nice to me. You’re the best half-sister I ever had. Lolita:
Well, if our father didn’t fall in love with both of our twin-sister
mothers, you’d never be able to say that. Rita: I never thought
that was true. I think he thought they were both the same person. They
were pulling one of their twin jokes on him.
RIP: HOWARD ZINN (87) died of a heart attack while swimming laps
on 2/27/10. Boston University historian, political activist, and author
of the best seller A People’s History of the United States.
Here are his words: “No pitifully small picket line, no poorly attended
meeting, no tossing out of an idea to an audience and even to an individual,
should be scorned as insignificant. The power of a bold idea uttered
publicly in defiance of dominant opinion cannot be easily measured.
Those special people who speak out in such a way as to shake up not
only the self-assurance of their enemies but the complacency of their
friends are precious catalysts for change.”
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Rita & Lolita
