ANTI-WAR RALLY & MARCH
OCT 11 at 11:00am

Lolita: It’s time to start thinking about your Halloween costume. Rita: But before you do that, remember that there’s still a war going on—if you care about bringing the war to an end, attend the rally and march for peace on Boston Common on Saturday, October 11, at 11:00am. Lolita: While you march, keep your eyes out for street treats. Rita: Street treats? Lolita: The free things that you find on the ground—they’re valuable and create personal satisfaction. Rita: Lolita, you’re a freak. But between Halloween, politics, and your street treat things, we have enough subjects to talk about with our musician friends. Lolita: Let’s ask them about the presidential election. Rita: Yeah, like will either major party candidate bring the war to an end? Lolita: That answer is too easy. Rita: Okay, let’s keep the question simple and open: what are your thoughts on the election? Lolita: Okay, but only if I get to make up the next question. Rita: Go for it, girl. Lolita: Hey, there’s Mike from MassCann—I bet he’ll have something to say about the election…

ELECTION 2008

Lolita: Okay Mike, what gives, what will happen in this election? MIKE C (MassCann/NORML Freedom Rally): Since my vote in Massachusetts doesn’t seem to matter with the electoral college giving the winner all the delegates and not being happy with either major candidate, I’m stuck on whether I should vote None of the Above or write-in Mickey Mouse. Mickey Mouse is clearly the best and most qualified Fortune 500-backed candidate out there today. *** LINDA VIENS (Angeline/ Sgt. Maxwell’s Peace Chorus): Barack, Barack, Barack! If we all gather together, work hard, and stand strong, consciousness and humanism will win the day! *** JIM SULLIVAN (Boston Phoenix): You have to feel good about the Republicans this time. A veep candidate who’s a gun-toting governor of Alaska—that’s in the U.S, right?—who doesn’t want sex education in the schools and has a pregnant teenage daughter, who, praise Jesus, will get married to her boyfriend. That should work. And McCain, well, rumor is he was once a P.O.W. and that’s all I need to know. That, and he supports Bush 90 percent of the time. America’s been headed for glory for eight years. Why stop now? Put McCain and Palin in power and the joyride continues. If McCain’s 72-year-old ticker gives out, Sarah’s got the kind of hockey mom experience America needs as commander-in-chief. She says the difference between hockey moms and pit bulls is the lipstick. That’s funny! *** KAREN DE BIASSE (Girl On Top): I try not to pay attention to it.  I know it’s a big show to make us feel we live in a democracy; purely a distraction.  The “money” men in charge will prop up and put in who best will fit their agenda.  The knight in shining armor, Obama, may be put in to take away our gun rights for instance.  I know he is CFR, Bilderberg, Freemason, which puts him in with the gang just as much if not more than McCain.  There’s always the possibility that the one who gets elected has no fear and goes against his bosses, but then they will probably end up assassinated like Kennedy. *** ANDE MOTTA (Tunnlvision): Obama.  I have heard many times that people think Obama is going to be elected then assassinated.  Who wants him dead and why? Lolita: Ande, are you too young to remember what happened to John F. Kennedy, Martin Luther King, Jr., and Bobby Kennedy? *** BRIAN O’CONNELL (Brian O’Connell/ Stop the Wars Coalition): Although a McCain presidency would be catastrophic, the idea that Obama is going to usher in a new era of progressive politics is just plain wrong. Barack Obama stands for the corporations that run this country. He is fully behind our criminal wars in the Middle East. An Obama administration will continue to fully support the military industrial complex. Real change will only come from grassroots activism on behalf of regular citizens, not disingenuous politicians. *** JEFFREY SIMMONS (Jeffrey Simmons): Just before election day, in a very Scooby-Doo like fashion, McCain will pull back his mask to reveal he is actually... Dick Cheney. *** MATT KING (the Lights Out): I predict a hotly contested race complete with over-the-top spin, scandals and Republican dirty tricks. I predict that e-voting problems will come back into the headlines due to, well, e-voting problems. I predict that Obama will trounce McCain in the debates causing people to go for McCain even more. Oh, and I predict that we’ll find out that Sarah Palin is actually a polar bear. Lolita: I think that’s just her Halloween costume—complete with lipstick.

ROCQUE NEWS

Rita: I’m sure the presidential candidates’ Halloween costumes will make it into the news, but right now let’s see what else is going on around Boston.  The world premiere of the documentary about the REMAINS, America’s Lost Band, took place at the Boston Film Festival (Sept 12-17). *** Tufts University composition teacher TJ ANDERSON composed a work “Bird Songs” for Birdsongs of the Mesozoic. The group will premier the five-movement work on Sunday, 10/5 (3:00 pm) at Tufts University’s Distler Hall. *** Spin magazine named THE MOTION SICK band of the month for their first release, Her Brilliant Fifteen. *** New England bands BANG CAMARO, ANARCHY CLUB, THAT HANDSOME DEVIL, THE STERNS, MIGHTY MIGHTY BOSSTONES, DINOSAUR JR., and NORMAN GREENBAUM each have a song included in the popular video game Rock Band 2. *** Newbury Comics has opened a new mega store—12,000 square feet—twice as big as their other stores, in Norwood (859 Providence Highway). *** The Abbey Lounge is facing eviction. The place owes back taxes and has been shut off from the beer companies. In mid-September bands threw a series of benefits at the club to help it get back on its feet.*** MassCann has had to sue the City of Boston three times (1997, 1998, and 2008) over food vending at their annual Freedom Fest. The City of Boston wrote into the permit, “Vendor food carts are prohibited unless the Boys and Girls Clubs of Boston are providing the food vending services.” This condition aims to deny MassCann donations from food vendors, which cuts back on the funding of the rally. This year, as in the past, the court overturned the city’s limitation on the permit two days before the event. *** The Music Hall in Portsmouth, New Hampshire has been redesigned with a new Beaux Arts lobby. DAN ZANES (x-Del Fuegos, who is now a popular family entertainer) is there on Sunday, 10/12. *** In case you missed it in the first paragraph, a major peace rally and march converges on Boston Common at 11:00am on Saturday 10/11. Lots of bands and political speakers. Lolita: Okay, I’ll be there—I hear it will be a good area for street treats. Now let’s get on to my Question of the Month…

BAD/GOOD COSTUME

Rita: Okay Lolita, what is your question? Lolita: I want to find out who’s thinking about their Halloween costume. So I’ll ask, are you going to dress up to look like me—Lolita Flange? Rita: No, you can’t ask that. Lolita: But it’s my turn to make up the question. But you’re right, if everyone got dressed up like me, there would be too much sex going on during the night. Okay, I’ll ask people to tell us about their favorite or least favorite costume. Rita: That’s more on the right track.  ERIC WELSH (Chillhouse Studios): My least favorite costume is when a guy dresses up like a girl or a girl dresses up like a guy... I don’t find anything funny about this and it is very scary. *** SCOTT MARUCCI  (The Autumn Hollow Band): People wearing cereal boxes all over themselves.  It’s been done—be a little bit more original. *** SHEA ROSE (Shea Rose): My least favorite Halloween costume is Catwoman mainly because of Halle Berry’s “interesting” performance… and well I’ll admit, I’ve worn it three years in a row (boring)—it’s so easy–too easy—played out in fact. Black sock. Wire hanger. Four-dollar cat ears.  Black eyeliner—ninety cents at CVS if you’re planning on it. Viola! Catwoman in under $10.00.  It’s time to step it up though, and no, not into cowgirl boots and a cowboy hat. Wayyyy over done.  Now dressing up and impersonating the real Eartha Kitt… that’s fabulous! She rocks! *** MARK BRYANT (Lonesome Jukebox/ Plimro Records): My favorite costume of all time was when I went to a private party dressed as Alex from A Clockwork Orange complete with fake eyelash and athletic cup! While I was at the party a woman said, “I like your outfit.” I said, “Thanks, do you know what I am?” She looks at my crotch, complete with athletic supporter and answered, “I’d say a medium.” My least favorite costume is anything relating a female to a male. I think it should be a law that all women must be cats for Halloween! Lolita: Looks like we should introduce Mark to Shea. Rita: That’s funny—touché! Lolita: I don’t get it. *** BRIAN RUSNICA (the New Dumb): My favorite costume was definitely my poor imitation of Mike Myers’ Middle-Aged Man from Saturday night live.  Anything that includes an excuse to be crass all night and wear a fake mustache is all right with me. *** KIER BYRNES (Three Day Threshold): I don’t believe you should dress up only one day a year.  That’s lame. If you feel like it, I say dress up and be different every day.  With that being said, last year I dressed up as an accountant for Halloween as a switch. Rita: Is that it for answers? Lolita: Well, everyone just kept staring at my costume, kinda speechless.  Rita: What was your costume? Lolita: Well, I hadn’t prepared anything, so I left the canvas blank.

MUSICAL CHAIRS

Rita: Okay, so while Lolita wears her favorite non-costume, I’ll do the research to provide us with the movement of musicians from one band to another.  THE RATIONALS’ bassist, JOHN MALONEY has relocated to San Francisco and GREG GAGNON is stepping up to fill John’s shoes. *** THE BLEEDIN BLEEDINS became MIDATLANTIC and released The Longest Silence. *** SGT. MAXWELL’S PEACE CHORUS rolls out the carpet for special guests at the Noise 27th anniversary party (and the band’s CD release party) at the Cantab on Saturday, 10/4. Besides the artful, well-named 27, and the amazing ANGELINE, expect to see JOHN POWHIDA (the Rudds), FRANK ROWE (Classic Ruins), RANDY BLACK (Limbo Race), KELLY KNAPP & SIMON RITT (the Darlings), and DAVID MIRABELLA (the Rationals). *** THE NEW ALIBIS is made up of DREW SUXX (x-Lost City Angles/Ducky Boys) on lead vocals/guitar, JULIE TWO TIMES (x-Three Sheets) on vocals/bass, PAUL C. (x-Far From Finished) on vocals/guitar, and JESSE VON KENMORE (x-Marvels, Shake The Faith) crackin’ the drums open. Watch for these punks to emerge in November. *** ADAM ABRAMS (Aeolian Race/ Sick Room) and JIM LEVIN (Comanchero) have created a new group called BLUE ASIDE. *** JAKE BRENNAN has a new outfit called BODEGAGIRLS. *** Drummer MORGAN joined BLACKTAIL after his old band, BURY THE NEEDLE, broke up. *** CRAIG SILVERMAN (Only Living Witness/ the Shods) has joined BORN OF THUNDER on lead guitar. Craig’s first Boston show with this line up will be 10/17 at the Middle East upstairs. *** TYLER HOLLIS DERRYBERRY (Ho-Ag) played a Zoig-Ma-Noig GameBoy set (many Game Boys running through a PA) almost every night of September. *** CORTEZ has replaced their original vocalist and rhythm guitarist with MARC “GAFF” GAFFNEY and DOUG SHERMAN (both formerly of Boston’s Gozu). *** The sexy rockers who make up JADED are looking for a new lead singer. Interested? Email This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it . *** 18 WHEELS OF JUSTICE has picked up MATT TOMASZ (x-the Worst) as their new lead singer. Lolita: I hope Matt has improved since being part of the Worst. *** CAROL NAMKOONG (Take You Higher/Boston Rock Opera) is an honorary Birdsong (member of Birdsongs of the Mesozoic)—she’s sitting in on synthesizer for RICK SCOTT. *** And what’s this? The same Carol Namkoong is sitting in with URBAN CARAVAN on their John Lennon Birthday Night at the Clear Conscience Cafe. Lolita: Am I supposed to know when John Lennon’s birthday is? Rita: It’s Thursday, 10/9. Carol will be adding piano and synth to Beatles and Lennon compositions. And to top it off, ADAM SHERMAN (the Souls/C3 booker) will also join Urban Caravan for the Lennon night. Rita: Well, we certainly have treats to pick from.

STREET TREATS

Lolita: Did I ever tell you about the time I went down to Connecticut—this is when I used to smoke—I didn’t want to carry a purse so I just shoved my money into my cigarette pack. It was only one bill—a crisp new $100 bill. Throughout the whole night at this little pub a cool looking guy was plying me with drinks. I didn’t pay for a single stiff one the whole night and at the end when he convinced me to follow him, I sucked off my last Marlboro Light and dropped the empty pack on the street. Sometimes I can be such a jerk. Rita: Litterbug. How ’bout we turn your situation around and ask everyone, what’s the best thing they ever found on the street? Lolita: Is that a trick question. Rita: No, it’s a street treat question. There’s Adam, go find out about his best street treat ever.  ADAM PAYNE (2ADAM12): I used to live in Orlando, and one day while walking around in Downtown Disney, I found a really sharp looking watch lying on the ground. I picked it up, and turned it in to the lost and found.  They took my name and contact info, and said that if no one claimed it, it would be mine.  About seven weeks later, I got a call from the lost and found.  Nobody claimed the watch so I went and picked it up.  Long story short, the watch was very valuable, so I sold it, and it ended up pretty much paying for my first semester of grad school in North Carolina the following year.  I called it the Disney watch scholarship! *** ERIK LINDGREN (Birdsongs of the Mesozoic/Arf Arf Records): In 1978, I miraculously found a small Fender tweed amp from the ’50s sitting on the top of a big garbage heap on Ashford Street in Allston. The speaker and grill cloth were destroyed but I repaired them, put in a new fuse, and it still works like a charm. It’s the ultimate amp for recording electrified harmonica. *** CHUCK U. ROSINA (WMBR/ WMFO): One day a couple of years ago, I was peddling down Mass. Ave. in Cambridge, and rolled over a folded up green bill.  I recognized it as money, so I stopped to pick it up. It was $100!  Wow!  I took my wife out to dinner with it. Lolita: I dropped my $100 in Connecticut—do you think it could have blown up to Cambridge? *** JOE COUGHLIN (the Noise): (a) A big red metal sign (a foot tall by four feet across) that says “Long Gone Records,” (b) a big plastic Lowenbrau sign with a picture of a big roast beef, which still lights up, and (c) twenty bucks, which I actually spotted from a moving car at night. Jesus loves me. *** PETE WEISS (Weisstronauts/ Sool): A few years ago I was walking to Zippah Studio from home, running late for a session, feeling stressed and rushed.  About a block from my house I saw a woman loading a lot of “stuff” onto the curb, presumably for trash pickup.  From a distance I saw her put some drums out and thought well, they’re probably crappy student drums, but maybe I should take a look.  It turned out to be a pair of ’60s Slingerland toms (huge floor and rack) and—unbelievably—a ’40s-era Radio King snare in beautiful condition.  I asked the woman if she was tossing these. She said, “Please, take whatever you want.  I’m only here for 24 hours settling my parents’ estate; I’ve gotta clear all the junk out of the house before the closing and then fly back to California...” Okay, good enough for me.  One of the most sought-after and sweet-sounding snare drums for free...  I was pretty late for the session though. *** MR. CURT (Mr. Curt Ensemble/ Urban Caravan): One day I was driving my school bus, sitting at a traffic light, when I looked out and saw a shiny piece of crushed metal on the street—perhaps a piece of muffler—perfectly flattened! Absolutely captivated, I jumped out of that bus and snatched it away. My kids thought I was kooky, but they at least accepted it. So when it ended up as the cover art to The EXI’s third album, they decided to be impressed. The eye of the beholder—nothing like it! *** PETE CASSANI (the Peasants/Beefy DC): Another lonely solo tour. Bridgeport, CT. Depressing town. Depressing non-gig—an open mic at the Acoustic Cafe. My hip is killing me. Surgery looms in the future—me and Eddie Van Halen... and Paul Stanley. Anyway I’m walking down the street. Kinda hungry. Trying not to feel as rotten as I do. See a pack of Marlboro Lights on the ground. I don’t smoke anymore but I pick them up. Box is empty but shoved inside the cellophane is a crisp one hundred dollar bill! I keep walking casually glancing around! I can’t believe it! There’s nobody else on the street. I step into a nearby pub. Dinnertime! Lolita: THAT WAS MINE!! I was in Bridgeport! Pete, you owe me big time. Rita: Calm down Lolita. You know the old saying—finders keepers, losers weepers. Lolita: Screw that—I’m gonna go kick Pete in the hip until he gives me my $100 back!!

CLUB SCREAM

Rita: Cool it on PETE CASSANI—he’s the first performer on Saturday, 10/11, at the anti-war rally on Boston Common at 11:00am. *** On Monday, 10/13, RYAN LEE CROSBY releases both an EP and a book at Zuzu! *** THE CHICKEN SLACKS bring their soul to Johnny D’s on Friday, 10/17. *** On Saturday, 10/18, THREE DAY THRESHOLD leads the charge in celebrating CCTV’s 20th anniversary at the Middle East. *** THE SPURS kick it up at the Midway on Friday, 10/24. *** The fifth annual Mass. Morgue Halloween party returns to the Cantab downstairs on Sunday, 10/26. Participate in the grab cauldron, raffle, and midnight costume contest. *** BILL T MILLER’s ORGY OF NOISE is at T.T.’s on Thursday, 10/30. *** Same night APOLLO SUNSHINE rolls downstairs at the Middle East. *** Halloween night, Friday, 10/31, features HORSES IN THE SEA at the Cantab, BIG D & THE KIDS TABLE at the Middle East Downstairs, BOOTY VORTEX at Johnny D’s, and REDRUM & DIE YOUNG at Zuzu. *** BONE GUNN plays 11 shows in 14 days in Japan from 10/12 to 10/28. Rita: I hope they all fit in their capsule hotel room. Lolita: They better—I’m invited—and I expect to play human terrarium with them. Rita: Hey we have to run. I hope to see everyone on Friday, 10/4, at the Noise 27th anniversary party at the Cantab. Performances include the artful and aptly named 27, the beautiful and talented ANGELINE, and SGT. MAXWELL’S PEACE CHORUS with special guests cameos by JOHN POWHIDA (the Rudds), FRANK ROWE (Classic Ruins), RANDY BLACK (Limbo Race), KELLY KNAPP & SIMON RITT (the Darlings) and DAVID MIRABELLA (the Rationals). And if the Sox win the World Series, all your furniture is free!!!

TWENTY SEVEN YEARS
Lolita: The number 27 is so powerful that a successful Boston band uses it as their name. And as of this month, we can lay claim to completing 27 years of writing our column for the Noise. Rita: Amazing. Lolita—it’s not the 27th anniversary of the Noise—it’s the 27th year of you writing your column. Lolita: What’s your problem? You wrote the column too—well, except for that issue when we walked out on T Max because of the shitty typewriter he made us use. Rita: No, it was because he stopped dating you. Lolita: Okay, but after I hit him over the head with the typewriter, it stopped working. How could we write the column? Rita: To our younger readers, typewriters are those machines that replaced carving letters in stone. Lolita: Yeah, that first issue of the Noise was heavy. Seven 20 lb. slabs of granite chiseled out our premier issue. Distribution was a bitch, but the brontosaurus never complained. Rita: Yeah, those were the days—being dragged around by the hair, not having to worry about an electric bill, and listening to rock music made with real rocks. T Max: Will you two stop romancing the past and come back to 2008. There’s a war going on and our president intends to screw us as many times as he can before he leaves office. Lolita: Was he really in our office trying to screw someone? T Max: Let our friends vent—ask them what they’d like to say to him. Rita: Okay—can we make believe they’re stuck in an elevator with him? T Max: I don’t care where they are. Lolita: But if they weren’t stuck in an elevator with him, he might not be able to hear them over the band. T Max: Okay—they’re in an elevator.

BUSH IN ELEVATOR

Lolita: Well, if they’re in an elevator, that’s a great Question of the Month. Hey, Dana, what would you say to the president if you were stuck in an elevator with him? DANA COLLEY (A.K.A.C.O.D.): Going down? *** GAIL RUSH (Curve of the Earth): You are responsible for the deaths of over 4000 Americans and hundreds of thousand Iraqis. You’ve destroyed an entire country (Iraq) and made it a feeding ground for terrorists, which is was not before your invasion. You have been responsible for the systematic ruin of our middle class, and the poverty of those living close to the edge of a financial abyss. You have courted the rich and powerful and made them richer and more powerful. You have crushed the image of America and Americans under the heel of your $4,000.00 cowboy boots. You have sold our natural resources to the highest bidder and outsourced our jobs to countries who would work for our destruction. You have partnered with our enemies, and embarrassed our friends in the world. You have no shame because you are too stupid to realize you have done anything wrong. And you can’t even pronounce the word for which you placed this country in financial and moral ruin. It’s nu-clear not nuke-u-lar, you idiot. *** EDRIE (Walter Sickert & the Army of Broken Toys): Ummm... do I have to talk to him or can I just kick him in the balls and say, “There, now you know how it feels!” *** BOBY BEAR (local drum legend—list of affiliations are far too long to go into): Are you happy now? Just what the FUCK were you trying to prove? Now come the fuck clean on the subject of UFO’s, and while you’re at it, tell me, just WHERE you guys are hiding Elvis these days? *** DICK TATE (The Middle East/ Prime Movers): Thank you for making the Nixon years seem somewhat less awful. *** DAVE PAEK (Us Versus Them): Mr. President, with all due respect, you are ruining our nation. Do us a favor and please resign. *** WILL RAGANO (Count Zero): How do you sleep at night? Or… do you need help removing that smirk from you face? *** KIER BYRNES (Three Day Threshold): I’d get up really close to him, right in his face and just glare at him, totally ignoring his personal space. As soon as he seemed sufficiently bothered by this, I’d back off a bit and joke, “I’m just fucking with ya, George,” but then I’d yell at the top of my lungs right back in his face “LIKE YOU FUCKED WITH THE AMERICAN PEOPLE!” I’m sure shortly thereafter, I’ll be enjoying a nice trip to Guantanamo Bay. *** GENO JOHNSTON (Strawhorse): How many fingers am I holding up? *** PREACHER JACK (Preacher Jack): If I were stuck in an elevator with the “great decider” George Bush, I would say to him, “George, you profess to be a Christian but the Jesus YOU worship and the Jesus I worship are two very different people. My Jesus hates murder so he is anti-war, my Jesus values ALL life so he is anti-DP, my Jesus believes in equal rights for ALL so he supports a women’s right to choose, my Jesus loves all not just conservative republican donors. Oh, and by the way, I am playing the Pawtucket Film Festival on September 14th, and I am personally inviting you to come by—have a cold refreshment, some wonderful Iggy’s bread, and chill the freak out! *** DAVID AVERY (Powderfinger Promotions): Hey Bush, how’s Dick? *** JOE COUGHLIN (the Noise): So when are you gonna spill the truth about UFO’s, already? *** RICK BERLIN (Self): I’d hold his mouth open with one (gloved) hand, force feed him a tab of blotter acid, then close it up—like forcing a cat to swallow a pill—stick The Smirk in front of a cracked mirror as he hallucinates the entire population of the world in the elevator with him and ask, “hey, Bushie, ol’ white shoe, ol’ Yalie, ol’ good ol’ bad ol’ bastard boy, how can you sleep at night? And how much did you like letting ol’ Turd Blossom slip it in up the ol’ stove pipe in the wee hours?” *** NIKI LUPARELLI (The Steamy Bohemians): I’d probably say, “You know, George, the elevator won’t go any faster if you keep pressing the button... Got any blow?” *** JOHN BEAUDETTE (Destroy Babylon): Any last words, bitch? *** WILL DAILEY (Will Dailey): I’ve thought about this one for eight years. And I would say nothing and just give him a hug. It was a lack of compassion, human connection, and forgiveness that resulted in his poor performance on earth. Why deny him and myself any more? *** PETER WALSH (The Gobshites/ Meat Depressed): Couldn’t you at least say excuse me when you fart... or fuck up the country? *** MICHAEL BLOOM (Tim Mungenast & his Pre-existing Conditions/ Sgt. Maxwell’s Peace Chorus): I’d ask the preznit if he really thought he was going to get to heaven, reminding him of Matthew 25:46, the Sermon on the Mount, the injunction to “sell all you have and follow me,” and the line about the camel and the needle’s eye. Lolita: Oh yeah, I know that one—it’s in a song by Eno. I think Volcano Suns covered that one.  I guess I’ll be going to heaven because I like to sing along to that song.

NEWS DE ROCQUE

Rita: While Lolita is singing in her heavenly voice, I’ll deliver the news you won’t get in the mainstream media. Wow, we’ve got lots of film related news to start with.  Comedian MIKE MYERS covers EXTREME’s “More Than Words” in his less-than-well-received movie released over the summer The Love Guru. *** Enlighten Up (feature film/documentary), scored by KRISHNA VENKATESH (x-El Dopa/ Think Tree) and directed by KATE CHURCHHILL (Nama Productions), debuts at the MFA on 9/12 and then plays at the Kendall Square Cinema 9/19-9/25. *** ELAINE WALKER (x-DDT/ Zia) composed the electronic score for the independent sci-fi film Aerodynamics. AD FRANK and SARAH RABDAU are among the special guests performers at the fundraiser (Thursday, 10/9 at Rumor, 100 Warrenton Street in Boston Theatre District). *** KAREN (Girl on Top) DeBIASSE’s song, “Air Waves,” is in the film Fillbilly that will appear in both the L.A. and N.Y. film festivals. *** THE WEISTRONAUTS had no idea why it happened, or who was responsible, but their video of “Ring Mod a.k.a. Modsavasana” was featured on YouTube’s main page. Watch it and I think you can figure out why. youtube.com/watch?v=15U7A4LE_Tk *** Radio industry magazine, Radio & Records, has released this year’s award nominees in anticipation of the R & R radio convention taking place from 9/17 through 9/19 in Austin, Texas.  Both WFNX and WBCN were nominated for “Alternative Station of the Year” in top markets. *** STEPHIE PEEKA & THE SEEKING 7 landed in first place in the N.J. Fest Contest by attracting 2855 votes. *** Check out the new venue in Central Square—Clear Conscience Cafe (581 Mass. Ave.)—it’s the Mass. Ave. entrance way to Harvest Co-Op. ADAM SHERMAN is booking the place (a.k.a. C3) and it looks like it’s off to a good start. *** DAN SHEA is now booking the Milky Way in Jamaica Plain. *** THE LUXURY was selected from 600 competing bands by COLDPLAY to open their sold-out show on Monday, 8/4 at the TD Banknorth Garden. The contest was sponsored by Capitol Records and Live Nation through WFNX.  *** THE COFFIN LIDS’ “Creepy Crawl” video is a ’60s go-go garage song with a horror twist that was produced in collaboration with Drive-In Horrorshow, an independent Boston horror film by Greg Ansin and Michael Neel. The 16mm film should be completed by January 1, 2009. *** AMANDA PALMER and BRIAN VIGLIONE (the Dresden Dolls) are touring the world. While Brian is in Oberhausen, Amanda is in Toronto. Brian’s is in Aalborg, while Amanda is in San Fancisco. Then Brian’s is in Lancaster, when Amanda is in Edinburgh. Lolita: That must make it very hard for them to play together.

TEN YEARS AGO

Rita: While Lolita tries to figure out how Brian and Amanda manage to perform together (maybe one is transmitted by satellite to the other’s show?) I’m going to ask my friends a simple question—what is something you do now that you didn’t do 10 years ago? There’s the other Dave from woolly bully—what’s he doing getting into the driver’s seat of that plane?  DAVE WESTNER (Woolly Mammoth Sound/Tori Pyne): Four years ago, I started taking flying lessons.  Two years later, I got my commercial pilot’s license.  I can’t believe I get paid to fly, and to record music for a living.  What a way to have a job, yet never actually work! *** AMANDA PALMER (Amanda Palmer): I floss. About five years ago I went to the dentist and she told me it was curtains if I didn’t floss regularly... scared the bejesus out of me. So now I floss faithfully… with such vigor that my dentist is now warning me about gum depletion. WTF? *** MR. CURT (Urban Caravan/ Mr. Curt Ensemble): Hate to admit it, but it’s this damn struggle with aging and strength and stamina versus ability and desires. Heart and mind are in the right place, but the body has developed many cricks and creaks. So I’m trying to exercise more regularly, have submitted to acupuncture sessions, and am now involved with physical therapy. Yikes! Stay in shape, indeed! *** SHAUN WOLF WORTIS (Gato Malo): Change a baby’s diapers while wearing a Red Sox championship cap. *** TONY SAVARINO (Black Fortess of Opium/ Garvey J): See a therapist. *** ADAM LEWIS (Planetary Group): Eat Healthy!  If you told me ten years ago, I would be popping fish oil pills, I would have asked you to share your drugs. *** LINDA VIENS (Angeline/ Sgt. Maxwell’s Peace Chorus): What a fun question! Something I “do” now is actually something I “don’t do” now... or at least mostly, which is: I don’t take things as personally. I read a book called The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz that changed my life, and helped me to stop playing the victim in my relationships, especially with family stuff. I used to take it personally that my parents were so cruel, and now I understand that they did the best they could and their unkind behavior wasn’t about me, it was about THEM. Ahhh... the freedom in this realization! I can’t recommend this book more highly! *** DARRON BURKE (Makeshift Studio/ Harvard College Library Audio Preservation Services): I just started a job at Harvard University doing audio archiving. I didn’t realize that the work I’d been doing all these years in my recording studio translated to actual skills that could be applied to a REAL JOB!  I’m overjoyed to be working here! *** BRETT MILANO (The Sound of Our Town):  Respond to the Noise poll via email. *** GLENN WILLIAMS  (Lowbudget Records): Ten years ago I was going through a creative time when I tried to write and perform in a vacuum. I wanted to be totally original—no outside influences. Needless to say, it made for a difficult time. Always asking, does this song sound like someone? Now I find myself playing with the best musicians I can find—Tim Casey and Urban Caravan has really made me create with a gusto. Folks like Sal Baglio, Bird Mancini, Mr. Curt, Steve Gilligan, Jon Macey, Clara Kebabian, and our own T Max. What a great influence they’ve been. I love them. *** CORIN ASHLEY (Corin Ashley): Ten years ago, I didn’t really understand how parents  can be so crazy about their kids. I was never one of those misanthropic dicks who hates children, but I used to roll my eyes a little when people would go on about how magical the whole thing is. I just never comprehended how amazing it can be to be hear a little guy call you Daddy. *** CHRIS TAYLOR (The Dimwits/ Winter Street Records): Two chicks. *** JOHN POWHIDA (the Rudds): I do a lot more manscaping than I did ten years ago. Lolita: What, prey tell, is manscraping? John: It’s where you trim your body hair like landscaping. Lolita: Well, I need a bikini trim, how much do you charge?

MUSICAL CHAIRS

Rita: I can’t believe Lolita is getting a trim from JPo! From the position she’s in, I think she’s looking for more than a little pruning. Now let’s change gears and keep track of the movement between band members in this lovely music scene. THE GIANT KINGS include DUKE LEVINE, CHRIS COTE, KEVIN BARRY, MARTY BALLOU, ANDY PLAISTED, PAUL ALSTRAND, and MARK EARLY. Sounds like a bit of a supergroup. *** JORDAN VALENTINE (x-World’s Greatest Sinners) has got her new act together—JORDAN VALENTINE & THE SUNDAY SAINTS that includes former Sinners ANDREW MALONE (keys) and DENNIS McCARTHY (drums), and new folks PAUL AHLSTRAND (sax), PAUL TOMASHEFSKY (trumpet), LUKE GROSSELIN (sax), DAVE LEWIS (guitar), and MIKE KOCANDRLE (bass). *** HEADBAND is now going under the name 18 LIPS. *** THE SILVER LINING won't be seen too much now that ANNA PRICE and MATT RHODES and 10-month- old ETHAN have moved back to Rochester, NY. *** RICK BARTON (x-Outlets) has another band now called EVERYBODY OUT. *** JEDDO STARS feature ELLI VEE from the Charms. *** THE LANTERNS feature guitarist JAY FORTIN (SCISSORFIGHT). *** SUBURBAN SKY has changed their name to SUNDAY MORNING MUSIC. *** WHERE LAND MEETS THE SEA is in the same family tree as LOCK AND KEY. *** ANGELS OF METH combine 27, HYDRONAUTS, and PROSELTYE. *** SAVIN ILL plays their final show  on 9/5 at the Cask ’n Flagon and their off-shoot band, THE GREY PROJECT, debuts at the same show. *** MR. B, MIKE DEMONIK, and JOEY SINN (all of the Humanoids) make up BORN OF THUNDER. Lolita: Wow, in my little close encounter with JPo I found out that he buys a new bike every month. He must be really into re-cyclying.

TEENAGER AGAIN

Rita: While Lolita continues to fail auditions at Comedy Central, I’ll ask some of my favorite people a new question—if you could be a teenager again for one day, what would you do? Of course most of these people are still teenagers so the question may be a little redundant. CARL BIANCUCCI (Classic Ruins): Prob’ly the same thing I did then—play some bass, listen to some records, eat a whole pizza without gaining a pound, pop a few zits, and, of course, beg for sex. *** JON MACEY (Fox Pass/ Urban Caravan): I would hope it was one of the days that the Velvet Underground played at the Tea Party. I would try to convince that certain someone to come along with me and hope that the music worked its hypnotic magic on her. Maybe I could go back in time with a video camera, too. *** BRADLEY JAY (WBCN): If I were going back in time to be a teenager for one day I would buy lots of clothes and guitars at low teenage prices and bring ’em back to the present with me. *** ANDY MILK (The Vital Might): If I were a teenager, I’d go back and do pretty much the same thing as I did as a teenager.  I’d go work in an ice cream store in the summer and flirt with my college girl co-workers.  I’d probably not worry about college quite as much as I did.  But college girls?  Yes. *** ERIC WELSH (ChillHouse Studios): Hammer back cans of Budweiser with friends and chicks on a Saturday night while watching the Headbangers Ball! *** TIM MUNGENAST (... & His Preexisting Conditions): If I were a teenager again, I’d consume less, listen more, and really think before I said or did ANYTHING. This would reduce my Napoleon Dynamite moments. Also, I wouldn't take any shit from the “normals.” *** BOB BEAUMONT (Guns of Navarone): A perfect teenage day would start with skateboarding around Worcester on my old Alva Chris Cook board maybe on paved banks or halfpipe. Then go to band practice in someone’s basement playing either Misfit covers or originals that we tried to make sound like Misfit songs. Then maybe take the bus to a girlfriend’s house for some romance. Then a perfect day would end with an all ages punk-hardcore show at the Quinsigamond Village Community Center to see bands like Psycho, the Creeps, Angry Kids, the Clock or even other touring teens like Screeching Weasel or NOFX. *** CHUCK U. ROSINA (WMBR/ WMFO): If I were a teenager for one day, I’d run a marathon, slide into home taking out the catcher with the winning run in a softball game, do chin-ups and pull-ups, and other jock stuff that my aging body does not allow me to do anymore. (I still run... slowly circa five miles, and play softball, but no sliding). *** IAN McCARTHY (Conservative Man): I’d quit music, and maybe leave my room once in a while. *** WOODY GIESSMANN (Right Turn): If I were a teenager for one day I would walk up to George W. Bush to tell him he is an idiot and kick his ass—I would probably do hard time as an adult. I don’t think teenagers are given hard jail time for assault. He is a pompous jerk. Let’s impeach his ass! Rita: Woody, it sounds like you’re answering two of our questions at the same time. Does that make Woody bilingual? Lolita: I don’t know if he’s bi—but he’s really good at that cunnilingual stuff.

CLUBLAND

Rita: Lolita’s mastery of English never ceases to amaze me. Here are local shows that will amaze you. HAYRIDE plays Atwood’s every Monday in September. *** WMBR Late Risers’ Club Party is at the Alchemist in J.P. on Friday, 9/5, with JAN CROCKER’s classic Boston punk videos and MARISSA ACOSTA’s Late Risers’ Club documentary. *** Catch MUCK & THE MIRES at the Middle East on Saturday, 9/6 before they jump the pond to Europe. *** THE BRENDAN BOOGIE BAND plays a Tom Petty tribute at the Middle East on Friday, 9/12. *** ENTRAIN gets Johnny D’s jumpin’ on Saturday, 9/13. *** ROBBY ROADSTEAMER jolts MassCann/NORML’s Award show at the Middle East Downstairs on Friday, 9/19. *** THE BAGS (with that guy who draws Rock School) return to Church on Saturday, 9/20. *** THE SPURS ride the Midway on Friday, 9/26. *** WALTER SICKERT & THE ARMY OF BROKEN TOYS release their CD at the Lily Pad on Friday and Saturday, 9/26 + 27. *** Lolita: And what ever you do, don’t miss the Noise’s 27th anniversary festivities on Saturday, 10/4, at the Cantab, starring 27, ANGELINE, SGT. MAXWELL’S PEACE CHORUS  (CD release), and a slew of special guest.

RIP: Spencer Gates (Mystery Girls on WMBR) died of cancer on 7/6/08 (see the spread on her on page 10 in the print issue).
RIP: Scott Roy (a.k.a. SJ Roi of Turkish Queen 2002-2005) drowned at a swimming hole in Washington state on 7/19/08.
RIP: Wayne Wadhams (founding member of the ’60s pop group the Fifth Estate) passed away on 8/19/08.

Lolita: Here’s a green tip! It’s now acceptable to pee in the shower—think of how many flushes you will save. Rita: You know you don’t have to flush after every pee. Lolita: Unless it’s a dreaded asparagus pee. Wooo—that stinks. Rita: Yeah, a lot of things stink, but let’s try to take a positive angle with out first question of the month. Since this is our patriotic issue, let’s ask the rock ’n’ rollers of Boston to tell us something they appreciate about the United States of America. Lolita: Who would have thought that peeing in the shower could lead to positive things about America? Okay, okay, I’ll go ask that gal with a camera.

USA: HOW DO YOU LOVE IT? 

NICOLE TAMMARO (Nicole Tammaro Photography): I appreciate the members of the constitutional convention, writing the Bill of Rights, with my two favorite amendments—one and two. *** PETER SUTTON (Temper): That the emerging technology of cloned meat has been embraced here first... we may run out of oil, but we’ll never starve. *** DICK TATE (The Prime Movers/ Middle East): Our sense of humor. After all, we’ve been run by clowns for the past eight years. *** AJDA THE TURKISH QUEEN (Black Fortress of Opium): The lack of a caste system or strict social classes that cannot be transcended. The ability to rise from nothing to something, and from utter nothingness to significance. Lolita: Yes, that’s right—look at me and Rita—27 years ago we were eager young gossip columnists willing to work for nothing—now we’re experienced gossip columnists—who still don’t get paid. *** TIM MUNGENAST (… & His Preexisting Conditions): The thing I like most about the USA is that we have not had a civil war in about 150 years, as compared to too many countries where there is nothing but turmoil, gang rapes, kidnappings, people getting hacked to death with machetes for no apparent reason, mothers selling their kids into sexual slavery, and trucks full of AK47-toting pre-teens looking for trouble. I’ll take America, thanks: in spite of its many faults and its dark, violent history, it’s still a great place to live. *** STEPHIE PEEKA (… & the Seeking 7): One thing I appreciate is that I can go down the waterfront in Plymouth, where I live, in the summer and hear accents from all over the world. It’s quite cool... and I appreciate laughing at the tourons (that is, moron tourists). Lolita: Down on the Vineyard they say, “Summer people, some’re not.” *** MARK BRYANT (the Noise): I am thankful we have a form of government in place where no elected official can solely dictate the actions of our nation. To live in a land where our president has the knowledge, grace and wisdom to be the voice of the people and is always willing to listen to and consider opposing views. He would never invade another country without reason or lead us into unnecessary battle. He would respect our privacy as individuals, and treat all men and women equally. Oh wait! That has nothing to do with the United States. Okay… baseball! *** MIKE LANGLIE (Twink): We don’t ever have to eat toad in the hole, bangers and mash, or jellied eel. Rita: Is Twink is going XXX on us? Lolita: I have a feeling we’ll be hearing his toy pianos on porn flicks now. Rita: If that’s true he better pick up a wah-wah. *** RUBY BIRD (Bird Mancini): The United States is my home, and despite my feeling that our government could and should do better (a lot better!), and lacking space to mention here all the freedoms that I take for granted far too often, the thing I love best is that it’s my home. I am truly blessed and deeply grateful for it. *** BOB GOBRON (Shakyfoot): What I appreciate most about the United States of America is that this nation was founded on the principle that the rights of every individual are inviolate. The notion that people are “endowed with certain unalienable rights” and that these rights supersede the power of the government was in 1776 the most radical concept put forth by any society in all of human history. It takes tremendous courage to live free and to this day not everyone is up to the challenge. So while our nation is still yet to completely fulfill the ideals of the framers, these ideals are still our guiding principles and the foundation of America. *** NANCY NEON (the Noise/the Varmints’ manager): The one “thing” I appreciate most about living in the USA is my hubby, Billy Borgioli. The first night I met him, he was dressed all in black like me. We were walking in Chinatown and I said, “It’s nice out tonight!” Billy said, “So I guess I’ll keep IT out!” I thought, “This is one DIRTY guy!” It’s been seven years and I haven’t stopped laughing yet. Other than humor, my biggest turn on has always been talent and Billy’s always working on a song or painting. He’s shared his family and his home with me, which is an art gallery with a million dollar view. Lolita: It’s amazing that windows coated with motor oil are now worth that much. *** CHUCK U. ROSINA (WMFO/ WMBR): One thing I appreciate about the USA is the Bill of Rights. Use ’em or lose ’em I always say. Unfortunately, many of these basic rights have been eroded over the past seven years. It’s up to we, the people (oh wait, that’s the Constitution) to be vigilant and demand these rights be reinstated. *** PETER MOORE (Count Zero): Our entertainment is generally “better,” pound for pound, than any other nation’s. For what that’s worth. Also, I’ve been noticing that the US is more handicap-accessible than most other countries. *** MR. CURT (Mr. Curt Ensemble/ Urban Caravan): Once upon a time, say mid-1800s, my ancestors came from Germany and settled in Boston. Through the years they suffered discrimination, hostilities, and economic struggles, as well as bouts of opportunity, friendship, and success. Much later in 1968, I met the wonderful daughter of a similar Italian immigrant family who also settled here in the early 1920s. We have lived freely and happily ever after in this melting pot. What a country! Lolita: And for those who don’t know, Mr. Curt is talking about his true love, and one of the twin go-go dancers for the Urban Caravan, Ms. Donna. *** MARK LIND (…& the Unloved): I appreciate the fact that we have a maximum of two terms for a president so the idiots of this country can’t re-elect this buffoon. Again. *** SAMMY MIAMI (Shööt The Möön): “America, land of the free, there ain’t no other place that I’d rather be. America you are the best, thanks for taking us under your wing into the comfort of the freebird’s nest.” This country is amazing! Where else can a homeless man become a star, an actor become a president, a cartoon become a religion, and the moon become a billboard?! The possibilities are endless here. Lolita: Sammy, thank you for mentioning the projection we did on the last full moon. For those who missed it, it read—“The Noise, the only magazine left that isn’t government controlled.” The timing of our moon projection was a little off, but we now have a ton of subscribers from the eastern hemisphere.

WORLDLY NEWS

Rita: And now that the Noise is so popular on the other side of the world, we’ll have to keep up on our worldly news—THREE DAY THRESHOLD is part of the U.S. military’s 4th of July celebrations and will be touring Army bases in Honduras. *** APPOLO SUNSHINE is off to the UK to play on the 4th of July. Rita: I don’t think that country celebrates July 4th in the same way that we do. *** MUCK & THE MIRES are now endorsed by Vox Amplification. *** AIMEE MANN is playing at the Berklee Performance Center on Saturday, 7/26. Aimee dropped out of Berklee before she won the 1983 WBCN Rumble (in ’Til Tuesday at the time). *** CLOUDS are touring our great country in support of their latest CD, We Are Above You. The tour ends in the Middle East (the club, not our oil suppliers) on Friday, July 11. *** SALVATORE BAGLIO (Urban Caravan) was commissioned to write a song for someone who was turning 80. He was given five days to write and record the song. Mission accomplished. *** Bands interested in getting a song on the Stomp Out Cancer Indie Musicians Fight Ewing’s Sarcoma, Volume 2 compilation should visit StompOutCancer.com. Ewing’s Sarcoma does not have a special fund allotted by the American Cancer Society, and is also underfunded for research and support. *** Cantab downstairs will book bands Thursday through Monday soon. MICKEY BLISS and MARTIN DOYLE are working together and now calling it Club Bohemia Underground. *** A Bunratty’s Homecoming is planned for July 27 at the original site of Bunz (186 Harvard Ave., Allston). *** Looking for a custom guitar? Or maybe you need to repair or restore your current guitar? Check out Becker Guitars out of Attleboro, Massachusetts. *** Just back from Liverpool, BIRD MANCINI’s “Holly” from their CD Funny Day is included on the 11th International Pop Overthrow compilation being released this month at the Los Angeles IPO Fest.

ON THE ROAD

Rita: We may think the price of gas is expensive, but in the UK right now the price translates to over $9 a gallon. We should get some stories from bands on the road—soon only the wealthiest of bands will be traveling. Lolita: Sounds like a good time to start paying attention to the bands that live in your area. Rita: Lolita, stop gabbing and go ask your friends to tell you stories about being on the road. Lolita: Ahh, there’s my favorite centerfold, umm, I mean big shot, from last year—I’ll find out what Jim’s done on the road. JIM HEALEY (We’re All Gonna Die): We are used to touring in a van, playing small clubs and sleeping on couches when we tour in the States. We toured Ireland last summer and we expected to do the same. We ended up playing a fucking castle and the promoter put us up in very nice hotels ever night, not to mention the five star one in Dublin: turndown service, robes, slippers… needless to say, that was a great tour. *** BILLY BORGIOLI (the Varmints 2008): While in Sydney, Australia, working for the Ramones on their 1980 world tour, the kids at one of their shows were going mental and climbed onstage as usual. Working Johnny’s side of the stage, I had to keep it clear of any kids. When I was throwing kids offstage as fast as they were climbing on, I was pulled into the mob. I remember looking up as I laid on the floor. The kids spread out in a circle, surrounding me. I thought the mob was going to attack me. Instead they helped me up and back on to the stage. The band was mad when my experience overshadowed them in the show’s review in the paper the following day! *** RUSSELL CHUDNOFSKY (Lori McKenna/ Guitarzan/ Skypaint). On the road with Amelia White and Laura Veirs, on Route 5 near the California/Oregon border by Mt. Shasta on two hours of sleep, we hit a rest stop, which was a diner in the middle of nowhere. As I entered the restroom, I gazed upon a mangled bloody mannequin lying in the tub. I nearly screamed my head off. It looked as real as I’d imagined. I looked closer at this twisted ketchup- splattered piece of sickness and was dumbfounded who’d put this here in a place of business. As I left the restroom, a bunch of the local clientele, burly looking biker dudes, must have saw the paleness in my face, ’cause they were all laughing at me. It hit me that this what they did for fun in these parts. Frightening the bejesus out the folks from out of town stopping for a pee, and having a good laugh at their expense. *** MICHAEL EPSTEIN (The Motion Sick/ Do Not Forsake Me Oh My Darling): At about 3 am, after a show in Madison, Wisconsin, we were unloading our stuff for the night outside of a friend’s house, when a VERY drunk woman staggered by holding a bunch of flowers. She started mumbling incoherently and walked toward me with open arms as if to give me a hug. I just kind of stood there and let her approach. Instead of hugging me, though, she whacked me in the face with the flowers and laughed. She started chasing me around with the flowers as I ran away and screamed like a little girl. The rest of the band stood around laughing. I woke up the next day with a bit of swelling on my eyelid from the impact. *** SUSAN SCOTTI (Last Call Agency): When I tour-managed 90-year-old blues legend Honeyboy Edwards, we’d finish with a show and you’d think the man would be tired, but no! Up all night in the hotel room, drinking Jack Daniel’s straight from the bottle, smoking, playing music, telling stories of his incredible life... I’d stumble to my room when the sun was coming up and within a couple of hours Honeyboy would call—“Baby! Time for breakfast!” And then we’d do it all over again every night throughout the tour. Honeyboy is a rock star. *** ERIC BAYLIES (Baylies Band/ Temple of Bon Matin): In Europe for a two-week tour in Temple, a guy hands out acid like candy. I love candy! It’s been awhile but the band did it, except our singer, who didn’t notice! Later, I heard music from the toilet. I realized a band had started in the club below. I fell down the stairs and limped outside past the row of prostitutes lingering by the door. Lost, tripping, and only speaking English, I somehow found my way back an hour later as the band was tuning up. Time to play! *** PREACHER JACK (Preacher Jack): Many moons ago in a far off land called Vancouver, Canada I had the wonderful opportunity of playing a few dates with Mr. “Illegal Smile” himself—Jon Prine. The year, my young friends, was 1979—I was touring on my first Rounder release and Canada was a barren and music starved country. With little to do after each performance in this land of hockey, hockey fans, and hockey rinks, we’d retire to the nearest roadside motel, settle in for the night, play a few songs to amuse each other and light up the holy herb. Oh Canada, God bless your wonderful clean air, spacious skies, and of course your VERY Holy Herb. *** NICK BLAKEY (The In Out/ Church): I did three tours as drummer with the In Out between 1998 and 2000 and I have scattered memories of some of the following: airport landing lights being placed directly behind me on stage in Berlin…kids backstage in Copenhagen who didn’t believe we all had day jobs…getting paid in books in Connecticut…freezing my ass off on a floor in Pittsburgh… Italian promoters giving us tons of food and booze and pats on the back… Cheater Slicks’ Tom Shannon making supreme coffee. *** MERRIE AMSTERBURG (Merrie Amsterburg): An offshore show: part of the pay was a free overnight on the island, which ended up being a stay at the club owner’s place. A wine collector and hot tub enthusiast, he wanted us to stay up all night listening to his Japanese imports of Hall & Oates live… Musing on the good luck of having such a place, he explained that he had once worked at a large corporation and was injured at a company picnic in a bizarre human pyramid accident; he got a huge settlement. We did not get in the hot tub. *** DAVE MIRABELLA (the Rationales): Driving to Chicago just after a blizzard hit Pennsylvania. Semis littering the sides of the roads. In Scranton after sitting at a dead stop in traffic for an hour and finding nothing on the PA radio but right-wing talk, I, oddly enough, stumbled onto the faint signal from WBZ in Boston. There I learned interstate 80 ahead was closed for at least a day. Not wanting to spend the next day(s) stuck I drove two miles backwards on the shoulder to the previous onramp. Took an extra eight hours through PA on local roads but I made the show. *** GENE JOHNSTON (Splint): We once had a Boston to Florida tour booked. Just before our Florida dates, Hurricane Wilma crushes the area. Our singer insisted “everything is cool bro—were gonna rock it.” After pleading to back out, we arrive and find out that our hotel is a pile of twisted metal and bricks and power is still down. We drove hours looking for rooming. The constant sight of twisted wreckage made us totally slaphappy and we started screaming “Boom!” at the site of every leveled structure until we lost our voices. Fortunately, the Hard Rock Café had generators and the crowd was pretty cool. Still didn’t get paid! Yeeehaaaaa! *** WALTER SICKERT (…& the Army of Broken Toys): D.I.Y. touring across the USA, I found myself in the grasslands of Montana where I came upon a beautiful vista. There was no one for miles, just myself and a bizarrely quiet sea of plant and animal. Engrossed in the serene silence I grabbed my guitar and started playing with the whistling of the grass, singing birds, and a faint baby rattle sound that came in and out. After an hour I made my way back to the car where I noticed a little sign that read “Rattlesnakes Spotted Beware”—and that’s how I played my first gig backed by a rattlesnake. *** FRANK ROWE (Classic Ruins): About fifteen years or so ago the Ruins went on a mini-tour that found us in a club in Allentown, PA. The club owner took me aside after our set, and said, “I heard you say you were from Boston. The guys playing tomorrow night are from Boston too, and they’re supposed to be these wild punks. Do you know them? Will they mess up the polyurethane I just put down on the stage?” He showed me the flyer: G.G. Allin and the Urine Dogs with a crotch angle shot of G.G. in a cowboy hat guzzling Comfort. “Oh,” I said, “You’ll be glad you’ve got that urethane down there...” *** MICHAEL BLOOM (Tim Mungenast & his Pre-existing Conditions/ Peace Chorus): When I was with Cul de Sac we did a West Coast tour that was lots of fun and almost even profitable. And there was enough wiggle room in the schedule that we could indulge our collector impulses. We visited a dozen amazing guitar, record, and book stores—the place in Tacoma that was a virtual museum of stomp boxes, the bookstore in Seattle that had literal catwalks above the racks, etc. My big find was an art book of surrealist painter Remedios Varo, which even impressed Glenn. We had to FedEx stuff home! *** KIER BYRNES (Three Day Threshold): Even after five European tours and a 1000 plus shows in the US, its still not uncommon for Three Day Threshold to have the very unfortunate Blues Brothers experience of having our bar bill be more than we made. And the kicker is, we make good money. *** SKINNY MIKE (Coffin Lids/ Almighty Terribles): Everyone knows what happens on the road stays on the road. Lolita: I guess we can assume that all these are answers were just made up.

MUSICAL CHAIRS

Rita: We could make up a lot of new bands and report it to you but we wouldn’t want to lose your trust. So, here is the latest movement of musicians that we painstakingly researched so you’d be able to impress your friends with your knowledge. JASON BERUBE (Scallywags) is now on bass with ANGELINE. *** Drummer NANCY DELANEY plays her last gig with the CELLO CHIX on Thursday, July 10, at the Lizard Lounge. There may also be a final final gig at the Plough & Stars in September but that’s not definite. Nancy is currently playing with the LIZ BORDEN BAND. *** MICHAEL EPSTEIN (The Motion Sick) has coupled up with SOPHIA BLISS (Blitzkriegbliss) to do a minimalist garage art-rock thing they call DO NOT FORSAKE ME OH MY DARLING. That name might sound strange if you weren’t a fan of The Prisoner. *** VESSELA STOYANOVA and VALERIE THOMPSON have a new project called GOLI that will have an EP by the time you read this. *** HEIDI SAPERSTEIN (Snowleopards) has brought together JOEL READER (the Fatal Flaw), NAOKO TAKAMOTO (That Handsome Devil), and JEFF HARRINGTON (Snowleopards) to create BALLS. *** SLUTS have changed their name to DEFEATER, traded their 15-passenger van in for a veggie oil powered van, created Greencore, a non-profit volunteer-based environmental awareness program, and recorded a new album entitled Travels. *** TRAVELS includes members of VICTORY AT SEA and METAL HEARTS. Lolita: Will Travels complete the mirror image and release a CD titled Defeater?

LIVE SHOWS TO KNOW ABOUT

Lolita: Before we get to listing the shows, I’d like to offer some tips on how to approach strangers when you want to talk to them. I asked some friends to tell me how they do it. Here are their tips: LINDA VIENS (Angeline/ Sgt. Maxwell’s Peace Chorus): When I want to talk to someone I don’t know and am feeling brave enough, I take a deep breath, and walk right up to them, stick out my hand and say exactly what I find interesting or compelling about the person, i.e., “Your Bird of Paradise tattoo is AMAZING! Linda Viens, nice to meet you!” *** IAN McCARTHY (Conservative Man): After 26 years, I still haven’t figured this one out. Perhaps that’s why I hide behind a band name, and write songs. Can you say “chickenshit” in this publication? Ever see those movies where one character is a figment of another character’s imagination? *** MARTIN DOYLE (Undeground Control): I don’t, usually they approach me. *** RICK BERLIN (herself): If just talking is all it is, no charge on the encounter, should be a snap. If however there’s some hit-on angle, that’s another ball game, and there? Like a friend of mine said, “The only strategy is no strategy.” *** NIKI LUPARELLI (the Steamy Bohemians): I try to bum a cigarette. I don’t even smoke, but it gets people to talk to you. Asking people to go have a cigarette outside is like a magical way to get them to hang out with you for five minutes. It doesn’t have the same effect if you just ask them to go chat outside for a few—they’ll think you’re psycho. But, “Wanna go smoke?” usually initiates at least a conversation. And if they’re really cool, maybe a special cigarette… Rita: Now that you know how to approach strangers, here’s where you can try it out. DAVE TREE is part of a triple art reception at Zuzu on Monday, 7/7. *** DROPKICK MURPHYS and THE MIGHTY MIGHTY BOSSTONES play LeLacher Park in Lowell, MA, on Thursday, 7/10. *** On Friday, 7/11, ANDREA GILLIS BAND hits the Cantab downstairs. *** Shaun & Suzi’s 15th annual Bastille Day show fires up the Lizard Lounge on Saturday, 7/12. *** NEPTUNE takes the stage at the Middle East on Thursday, 7/17, and makes a lotta noise. *** TEMPER plays the Abbey Lounge on Friday, 7/18. *** Same night there’s a Joe Strummer Tribute at the Midway. *** Saturday, 7/19, has MUCK & THE MIRES at Great Scott. *** GUT brings the barbeque to the Midway on Sunday 7/29 at 3:00 pm. *** On Monday 7/21, you can catch BRENDAN BOOGIE BAND at T.T.’s. *** On Tuesday, 7/29, Johnny D’s hold a benefit for Soldiers For Peace. *** EXTREME plays the Bank of America Pavilion on Thursday, 7/31. *** [MUNK]’s CD release party is celebrated at the Middle East on Friday, 8/1. *** On Saturday, 8/9, rockabilly legend SLEEPY LaBEEF plays Johnny D’s. *** Sunday, 8/10, features THEA HOPKINS at Club Passim. *** 30 bands over three nights—UNNATURAL AXE celebrates 30 years of Boston punk with the release of a tribute album for the band. Thursday, 8/21, and Friday, 8/22, are at Church, and Saturday, 8/23, is at the Middle East Downstairs. Rita: Have a great summer! Lolita: Do something naughty! Tell us about it. Then read about it in September. Enjoy every moment while you’re alive.

RIP: JACK ROOTOO (guitarist for Lou Miami/ Girl on Top) died on June 14 of esophageal cancer.

TAX REFUNDS
Lolita: Summer is here. I love the freedom from clothes. Rita: And as the flowers blossom, people create new exciting projects with new energy. Lolita: Yeah, I noticed stores are coming up with creative ways to pocket your tax refund dollars. Rita: That’s not the kind of new exciting energy I was thinking about. I say donate your refund dollars to an organization that puts pressure on our government to stop the war and helps promote peace. Organizations that are worthy of donations are United for Justice and Peace, Peaceworks magazine, Massachusetts Peace Action, and Veterans Against the War. They’re my favorites. Lolita: Heck, I’m spending my money on new clothes. Rita: I thought you enjoyed wearing no clothes. Lolita: No, totally naked isn’t as good as just a little bit of clothing. Rita: Enough of this talk about what to do with money—you know Father’s Day is June 15—let’s find out something about our friends’ dads. We can offer people a place to say something nice about dad. Lolita: Okay, but I still think readers would rather hear about my creative limited wear—okay okay, I’ll go ask everyone to tell me something about their dad. Rita: There’s Holly—I bet she has a cool dad.

DADS DADS DADS

Lolita: What do you tell people about your facial tattoos? HOLLY BREWER (Humanwine): I was 16 when I got it done and there wasn’t much hubub in the U.S. about the Maori people then, so I didn’t actually have anyone mention the name Moko or Maori until I was about 19. By that time I was getting sick of hearing about it and not knowing who these people were talking about, so I did a little research. I learned that there were many tribes all around the globe who have women with facial tattoos on the chin. Since the Maori exhibit hit Boston, it seems as though everyone and their parents are now experts on the Maori people of New Zealand and they come up to me with their factoids to show off their newfound knowledge. It’s not that I don’t appreciate their learning; it’s just that it has nothing to do with me. People that are from New Zealand are the only people so far who can tell it’s my own design. Lolita: Oh, I was supposed to ask you about your dad. HOLLY: My Dad is from Laconia, N.H. and is an active member of the motorcycle community up there. When I was eight he took me out for a spin on his most prized Indian. I figured I’d dress up in my black jean jacket and matching skirt and when he came to pick me up at the house, he had already been riding around for a bit so the pipe was HOT and when I was climbing up I burned my right leg. Instead of taking me to the hospital or inside to get a bandage what does he do? He tells me, “Lemme see it, no, that’s alright” (because it really was just a little nip) and he drives me down to the beach bar where all his buddies were and he holds me up saying, “She got her first burn! She got her first burn! What a champ!” My bought me an ice cream, I forgot all about my leg after that. *** PETE CASSANI (The Peasants/ Beefy DC): My father fought for what was right. First he refused to die. At eight years old he got rheumatic fever. They put him in the death room at the hospital. Others died. He hung on. The fever destroyed his body, his heart, but he lived. Grew up, got married, had SIX kids!! Then he became a teacher and fought for teacher’s rights. Went on strike a lot. Also brought his Black friends to look at houses in the Lily-white suburbs. Helped them though the banks, the government and the people were racist. He never did what was safe or easy. He died at 48 from his damaged heart but he lives on in his kids and grandkids!! He also encouraged me to play guitar when I sucked! *** ERIK LINDGREN (Birdsongs of the Mesozoic/ Arf Arf Records): My father was known as “Big Bob” and was a big man in every respect. Very respected individual, straight shooter, and, boy, did he sure know how to use a grill. *** NICK BLAKEY (The In Out/Church): I currently don’t know where my father is, and frankly, don’t care to know either. *** DYLAN J. METRANO (Tiger Saw): My father was a rock critic back in the ’70s, and he met a lot of his favorite musicians. I was named after Bob Dylan, but the night before I was born, Dad was hanging out in Boston with Leonard Cohen. Thanks, Dad, for not naming me Leonard. Lolita: Leonard is not that bad—if you took to wearing dresses you could easily shorten it to Leona. *** MONIQUE ORTIZ (A.K.A.C.O.D.): My dad is an incredibly cool guy. He bought me my first bass when I was 12. We used to jam with his friends and record it to his TEAC 1/4 inch reel-to-reel. He’s an amazing Latin percussionist, vocalist, and can still move like James Brown. He got me into professional motocross racing when I was young—yup, I raced motorcycles ’til I was 18. And he restored my ’56 Chevy and my ’72 Beetle for me. He’s an inspiration. I love him so much! *** TIM MUNGENAST (Tim Mungenast & His Preexisting Conditions): My dad, John E. Mungenast, was warm, funny, eccentric, and a fucking genius engineer. His background spanned everything from steamboat mechanic to guided-missile technician. He was well loved by his egghead peers, who named an engineering award after him. When the East Coast had that big power outage a few years ago, the Department of Energy called my mom asking for him. They said they wanted to talk with him about how to avoid future recurrences. Unfortunately, he’d lost his battle with cancer a few months before. *** DAVE WESTNER (Woolly Mammoth Sound/ Tori Pyne): My dad can fix just about anything mechanical. If I crashed a plane in the middle of the desert, my dad could probably make the damned thing fly again using only duct tape, a coat hanger and pieces of a mechanical pencil. And I would actually trust him to fix it enough to actually fly the thing again. Lolita: Like father, like son—I hear that you’re very good at “fixing it in the mix.” *** SIMON RITT (The Darlings): My father was born in Ottawa, Canada where as a child he was photographed by Yousuf Karsh and went to summer camp with Leonard Cohen (“...little Lenny from Montreal”).*** DANA JEE (I Have Ears): I’m a better dad than he was. Lolita: Give it time—you still have a lifetime to go.

NEWS ROCK

Rita: Speaking of dads—Noise radio chart guy TONY SCHINELLA and wife had their second baby—Dominic Anthony on 4/16/08. He was 7 lbs. 3 oz. *** BONE GUNN appeared on Fox’s Fearless Music with a live performance of “Mother” that can be seen on YouTube. *** How many T-shirts does your band get printed up? HARRY & THE POTTERS ordered 4818 from QRSTs for their summer tour. Their order is down from 7,500 last summer. *** SCOTT JANOVITZ played two shows on the night of his Rumble finals. Beside the competition gig with THE GREAT BANDINI he played keys with THE FIGGS at the Paradise. *** ED “MOOSE” SAVAGE’s long time drummer, PAUL DIONNE, was lured out to California by his future wife. Paul’s last show was at Ed’s birthday party. *** Vanessa Cintamani Piehl is the second child to call drummer MIKE PIEHL dad. She weighed in at 6 pounds 7 ounces at 11:32am on Wednesday, April 23. *** BIRD MANCINI (as part of SAL BAGLIO’s band) opened for PETE BEST then hopped the pond to play at both the Cavern Club and the Cavern Pub in Liverpool, UK. *** ROBBY ROADSTEAMER has gone from hating art bands to working with them in his latest project—a musical! It’s a reenactment of Kurt Russell’s musical Big Trouble in Little China that is titled Big Trouble in Little Allston. *** Five musicians who performed with their bands in the Rock Showdown at TCAN won scholarships to Berklee. They were DEAN STEVES (Red Rock), BOBBY SCOTT (The Advocates), SAM SILVERMAN (The What-Cha-Ma-Call-Its), WILL SELIGSON (Spare Change), and NATHAN LATTA (Deadly Styles). *** There’s a new club in town called To Ad (1912 Massachusetts Ave.) in Porter Square, Cambridge. It’s nice to see AD FRANK getting the attention his talent deserves. *** On the day that REVOLUTIONARY SNAKE ENSEMBLE release their second CD, Forked Tongue, it had already charted at #1 (jazz) and #11 (overall) on Ontario alternative radio station CFRU. *** WALTER SICKERT (…& the Army of Toys) was caught using Elmer’s roll-on glue to keep his mustache erect for up to four hours. *** PETER PRESCOTT (Mission of Burma) went to see BIG DIPPER’s reunion and was turned away because he forgot his ID. Just a lesson for everyone to remember your ID. Rita: Your age is not the point of carrying your ID. It’s so when the police raid the place they know who they’re throwing in the pokey. Lolita: I always thought that they just wanted to look at a sexy photo of me. Peter must have gotten fed up with that.*** At DAVE WESTNER’s debut gig with TORI PYNE he donated $1 for every line of lyrics that he sang incorrectly to the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation. He had three judges and asked his audience to match his donation dollar for dollar. He raised over $200 with 15 accidental lyric revisions. *** And sticking with the charity subject, photographer KELLY DAVIDSON rides her bike to Providence to raise money for multiple sclerosis. If you’d like to sponsor Kelly go to myspace.com/etchedonfilm. *** [MUNK] was featured in the May 10 issue of Billboard. *** TWO TON SHOE has found success in South Korea. Their new CD is being released on FarGo (Korea) and the band plans to tour Seoul again later in the year. *** CASEY DESMOND has been asked to play for Navy troops on July 4 in Naples, Italy. *** The Boston round of the U.S. Air Guitar Championships is at the Middle East Downstairs on Thursday, 6/5. *** A used car dealer found a CD in an abandoned car. He played the CD, loved it, and sort out the band. Abandoning a car may be an expensive way to get one fan at a time but it’s working for TOKYO TRAMPS. *** BOB GALLAGHER (Jesse Gallagher’s dad) sings lead on the final track of the upcoming APOLLO SUNSHINE CD. Lolita: Right back to dads—do we have more of those dad answers?

MO' DADS
Rita: Yes, in fact we do have more dads to talk about. I like this one… CHRIS PEARSON (Ekranoplan): My father was in the Navy, and in 1952 was assigned to a fleet task force that was at the very first hydrogen bomb test (Operation Ivy Mike) in the Pacific. He was about 20 miles from ground zero, and he overheard a few scientists worrying about whether the fusion reaction would eventually ignite all the oxygen in the Earth’s atmosphere. I guess it’s a good thing they were wrong! The 10-megaton blast produced a mushroom cloud that rose to over 20 miles high! It’s pretty wild to hear him talk about it to this day. Lolita: And they’ve proven that more pollution came from Ivy Mike than the exhaust from one day of driving a 2008 SUV—but not much more. ***JOANIE LINDSTROM (WMBR): How many fathers could name the members of Uriah Heep? *** TINTERN (Necktie Party): When I was about eight, I heard this racket coming from my parents’ bedroom. I ran upstairs and to my horror, found my dad singing and playing “Lady of Spain” on accordion with one foot propped up on the bed like Henry Rollins, playing (and singing) with a similar intensity. This was years before I knew what punk was and now every time I see someone propping a foot on a monitor I chuckle and think of my dad, who has no idea how hardcore he is. Happy Father’s Day Dad! *** JON MACEY (Foxpath/ Urban Caravan): My father’s father (my grandfather) was a professional country singer in upstate New York in the ’40s and ’50s. He actually continued to perform until he was around 75, doing mostly square dance calling by then. My dad saw up close the life of a musician and, when I was young, tried to discourage me from that life, causing big problems between him and me. Now that I am older, having lived through the many ups and downs of my music career, I can see why he felt that way. He was just trying to protect me, even if it was misguided. *** DEEK McD (Age Against The Machine): My father’s a very laid back guy, who certainly passed on that trait, while also teaching me that you don’t need a shitload of money to be very happy—which is completely true, as some of the most miserable people I’ve ever known are loaded! *** JIM HEALEY (We’re All Gonna Die): My dad is the reason I started playing music. He always had an acoustic guitar around the house even though he couldn’t play a lick. After years of beating around on that, he finally got me my first electric guitar at 12, and it was all downhill from there. *** SAMMY MIAMI (Shööt The Möön): My dad is an all-American bad ass with a heart of gold. He’s the proud owner of ’52 Panhead, ’32 Ford, ’32 Packard and ’22 Durant with wooden spoked wheels! He’s an honest man and one of the hardest working guys I’ve ever known. He tells it like it is and if you cross him he’ll make no bones about grabbing you by the neck. His charming ways with the ladies is undeniable; in fact he scores at more Shööt The Möön shows than the band! *** DAVE PINO (Powerman 5000): Next time you drive into the Callahan Tunnel, take a look to the top right. You’ll see a giant chip in the tunnel entrance. My dad made that. He accidentally hit it with a back hoe that was loaded on a trailer he was towing a long time ago. If that’s not “leaving your mark” on the city of Boston, I don’t know what is. *** BILL GOFFRIER (Big Dipper/ Saucer): My father is 83 but he has taken up with an older woman since their respective spouses both died. I could not be more pleased. He is truly an inspiration, and I look forward to my next half-century. Lolita: She may be an older woman to you but I bet your dad considers her a youthful beauty.

MUSICAL CHAIRS

Rita: Old, young, new, ancient—we’re all here temporarily so make the most of your life. Here are the changes that people are making in their lives and bands. JAKE & THE JAKES reform for one show on June 7 at the Brewery Exchange in Lowell with Fox Pass, The Rationales, and Brendan Boogie band (featuring members of Scamper). *** CELLO CHIX have been seen with three cellos lately. SHAY RUDOLPH has been a special guest. *** EXTREME will be returning this summer with new drummer KEVIN FIGUEIREDO (Perry Farrell’s Satellite Party). *** Lead guitarists ALEX “GUMBALL” GARRIDO left SIDEWALK DRIVER to live in LA. *** A band of Boston music veterans looking for lead and rhythm guitarists to play in a psychedelic/ pop band that pays tribute to the hits from Nuggets and Pebbles. Call (781) 391-0904 or email This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it *** SAD MARVIN reunited for one show on May 25 at the Middle East with original members ADAM LEITER and MATT DOYLE. *** BAD ASH & KILLING STAR features members of WALTHAM. *** LOCK & KEY played their final show—and released a CD at that show. *** After seven years on the Boston scene and a brief national tour, SEPTEMBER TWILIGHT has parted ways. The decision was made almost a year ago after drummer, KEVIN “BAM BAM” GALLAGHER left to become a full-time firefighter. The band played their last show on 5/27 at the Middle East. *** KAREN TSIAKALS and DEBORAH BERNARD of UV PROTECTION (who are on permanent vacation) have joined up with DAVE KILO (The Juliet Kilo) to form THE SECRET SEA. Lolita: What secrecy is within the secret sea?

GUITARS OF BEAUTY

Rita: Is it any secret who owns the most impressive guitars? Let’s find out. Lolita: Okay, I will steal guitar secrets from my friends and share them with you, so there will be no secrets between us. LINDA VIENS (Angeline/ Sgt. Maxwell’s Peace Chorus): The most impressive guitars I know are the “art guitars” lovingly crafted by the multi-talented Asa Brebner; each with it’s own theme—hand-painted, encrusted with glitter, jewels, plastic army men, and Barbie doll heads! *** NICHOLE CLARKE (Orange Nichole): I am fickle about guitars so it’s hard to choose ONE that’s been the most impressive. But recently I’ve been impressed with Charlie Chesterman’s black Rickenbacker 381, which may be the loveliest guitar ever—and my friend Rhys’ Roland G707. It has a handle! *** JEN D’ANGORA (Downbeat 5): JJ Rassler has a ’61 Les Paul Junior that he’s owned for over 30 years. There were other models of Juniors in late ’50s and in ’60s that became the Juniors we know now, but the design of his guitar is the design that became the SG. It features one P-90 single coil pickup. He got it around ’75—it had been owned by Billy Cole (the Real Kids/Nervous Eaters.) When Lenny Kaye and Patti Smith came to see DMZ at the Rat back then, Patti jumped on stage with them, and Lenny jumped on JJ’s back, and strummed this guitar while JJ made the chords. *** MIKE PIEHL (Reverse/ Tim Gearan): My father always told the story of being stationed at Fort Knox in the early ’60s: On leave, they went into a little diner. One of the guys in their group was black and they refused to serve him. All the soldiers were bullshit! And it turned into a huge scene. “This guy’s fighting for your country and you can’t make him a fucking sandwich?” He told me that when I was very young and because of it, I’ve never been a racist prick. I’ve been other kinds of pricks but not racist. *** JASON SANFORD (Neptune): The most impressive guitar is owned by Terry, from the Ex. He bought the guitar when he was 16, and he has played it for all 30 years that the Ex has been making music. At some point it became a five-string when part of the headstock and the high-E tuning machine snapped off during a rowdy show. I have never seen a guitar more worn and scarred and imbued with the aura of a lifetime of punk. *** SCOTT PITTMAN (Frank Morey & His Band/ The Shods): My brother, Rowie, is a fantastic craftsman of anything wood, metal, electronic, or anything. He made his first guitar absolutely from scratch. The Glingtone sounds better than the best Tele, but the custom woodwork and metalwork makes it look like nothing else. Plays perfectly and effortlessly and is weighted to perfection. It pisses me off, because I wish he had this idea years ago; but also because Kevin and Manimal of the Shods, and Amy from Darkbuster got on the list before me to get one—I’m his brother and I have to get serial number five?! *** FRANK ROWE (Classic Ruins): The most impressive guitar I’ve ever seen was Eric Rosenfeld’s ’51 Fender Broadcaster, one of the first Fenders ever built. It was scarred, it was battered, it was worn, and when he played it in the sun with Catfish Black on a Sunday free concert on Cambridge Common, it made sounds that can’t be explained. It got stolen long ago. Whoever has it now is sitting on about fifty thousand bucks. Lolita: There still are guitar secrets. Who has that ’51 Broadcaster?

CLINTON/OBAMA
Rita: What should the Democrats do, if anything, about the race between Clinton and Obama? CHUCK U. ROSINA (WMFO/WMBR): Obama and Clinton... it is a dilemma. Personally, I don’t put too much faith in electoral politics, but I am for Obama. To me, he represents real change looking ahead. Clinton? Yeah, she’s a woman, but she’s so 1990s. *** NANCY DELANEY (Temper): Since our votes are not accurately counted in presidential elections I like what Hillary Clinton proposed at a press conference on April Fool’s Day. There should be a bowling match between her and O'Bama to decide who gets the Democatic nomination. Both are equally bad at bowling so it would be the only fair way to decide the outcome. Americans don’t know how to vote anyway so why not make things at least a little entertaining? *** PETER MOORE (COUNT ZERO): Refuse to donate any more money to either campaign until one of them bails or the two of them agree to be on the same ticket. Their coffers can't take more draining, as they will be needed much more this autumn for the championship bout. *** DICK TATE (The Middle East/Prime Movers): I thought we weren’t supposed to mention the “race” issue anymore? It will probably come down to superdelegates cutting backroom deals and further eroding our fading belief that democracy actually works in this country. Benevolent dictatorship anyone?

CLUB SCAN
Rita: Let’s get right to the shows... THE CELLO CHIX play the Plough & Stars on Thursday 6/5. *** TRANSIT leads the all-ages show on Saturday, 6/7 (1pm) at the Middle East. *** Later that night the ME & JOAN COLLINS wedding is at the Abbey Lounge. Lolita: I hear the wedding gown is breathtaking. Rita: *** Sunday, 6/8 has SCARCE back at T.T.’s. *** THE CLYDSDALE COWBOYS round ’em up at the Cantab on Friday, 6/13. *** THE RUDDS hit Johnny D’s on Saturday 6/14. *** MISSION OF BURMA performs Signals Calls & Marches on Friday 6/13 and VS. on Saturday 6/14, both at the Paradise. *** On Saturday, 6/21, you can find 27 at Great Scott. *** Every Thursday night in June the Goodtime Emporium has the Battle of the Guitar Heroes. Rita: Hope to see you at a show! Lolita: Support the musicians who live and play around you.