Rita: Ahh, I love this time of the year. Spring is here and I can finally get back to my garden. Lolita: And I can start working on my tan again—get rid of the winter uglies. Rita: Bands that have sharpened their skills all winter long (read: drank too much) emerge from their basements, attics, and garages with new material to create their best shows ever. Let’s find out what our friends do that defines the beginning of spring for them. There’s Justin crawling out of the Cantab very early on a Friday morning. Quick, go ask him now. Lolita: Alright already. Justin! Wait up. I have the Question of the Month for you.

WRITING SPRING

Lolita: As soon as people hear Question of the Month they all come running to answer. Now get in a straight line, keep your hands to yourselves, and tell me what you do to define the beginning of spring? JUSTIN BERTHIAUME (the Chicken Slacks): On the first warm sunny day I will awake, head to the park, lie back in the new grass, and watch the clouds roll by… hey there’s a song there. *** NAT FREEDBERG (Upper Crust/Satanics): Well, I get seasonal affective disorder, so the first thing I do when spring arrives is I gently, gently let the hammer down on the cocked Smith & Wesson revolver I’ve been holding to my head for the past three months and very, very slowly remove it from my temple. Then I get off the couch, look out the window at the trees and flowers, and burst into long, wracking sobs. Am I crying or laughing? Hard to tell. After that it’s all “Take Me Out to the Ballpark” until around Thanksgiving. Lolita: That’s “Take Me Out to the Ballgame”—but the weirdest thing about that song is that people sing it when they’re already at a game. Now can I look at your revolver? *** ANNGELLE WOOD (WBCN/ Rock ’n’ Roll Social): I’ll be getting inked. I so have a hankering for a new tattoo. In the meantime, you can find me clearing dog crap from my yard that I lazily left to be covered by snow all winter. *** MIKE MALONE (Orb Mellon): I’ll clean up the winter’s crop of dog poop in my yard before my kids clean it up with the soles of their shoes then probably write a song about it. *** STEVE “ACE” McARDLE (Skull Hammer): Spring is here when I finally get to put away all of my Eskimo coats and break out my collection of old, worn (and comfortable) concert T-shirts from the last few decades. *** PETE SUTTON (Temper): Three things for me define spring: (1) burning all my winter hats and gloves; (2) going to the Harvard Square May Fair to guzzle beer in public; (3) listening to XTC’s Oranges and Lemons. Lolita: Thanks, we broke out Oranges and Lemons late in the winter and made believe there wasn’t snow on the ground. *** LINDA VIENS (Angeline): I will honor the pagan gods and goddesses by celebrating the spring equinox, dance around the fire, plant visionary seeds for the new season and give thanks for the ever renewing LIFE FORCE! *** BRIAN KING (What Time Is It, Mr. Fox?): For me dandelions signify the end of winter and the beginning of spring. I will stick dandelions behind my ears and roar because I’m both a dandy and a lion. *** PAUL ROBICHEAU (the Improper Bostonian): Happily head out to a show without a winter jacket. ***JEFF BRIGGETTE (Sonic Disorder): Every year when the weather gets warm, I like to take a walk around Kenmore Square, breathe in the fresh air, listen to the birds chirp, and try to remember the exact location of the Rat and all the other cool places that were once located in that area. Then I find some new, hip, yuppie bar to sit in, get drunk and tell everyone how much I hate them. That’s how I know it’s springtime in Boston. *** TIM FARRELL (Miskatonic): Well, I was gonna get blind drunk and run around naked through Davis Square but I already did that in February! Lolita: We saw you! We thought a snowman had come to life. *** MATT HUTTON (Birdwatchers of America): It won’t be spring for me until our record is heard singing out of stereos across the nation. Could be a long winter. *** GLENN WILLIAMS (Low Budget Records/ Urban Caravan): Playing outside. I love to sit out on the back porch breath in that inviting spring air and pick at my ukulele. Seems to spark up my creative stuff. I can almost feel it now. *** JIM HEALEY (We’re All Gonna Die) Dust off the grill, buy a metric shit ton of meat, and spend a day grilling. *** CHRIS RUCKER (WBCN): You know spring is coming right around the corner when you start to hear hockey playoff talk. Let’s hope the Bruins can continue this year’s good fortune and bring Boston Lord Stanley’s Cup. Another good sign is when you start to hear the chirping about the WBCN Rock ’n’ Roll Rumble! Lolita: Ahh! The Rumble returns—and I heard it’s back at the Middle East.

UNMEDIA NEWS

Rita: That’s right, the WBCN Rock ’n’ Roll Rumble moves back to the Middle East with the prelims on the week of 4/5 to 4/11 (but Wednesday is a day of rest), with the semis on 4/16/and 4/17, and the finals on 4/24. Contenders include (night 1) Angeline, Logan 5 & the Runners, the Deal, the Luxury; (night 2) the Minus Scale, Gravehaven, Apple Betty, Eksi Ekso; (night 3) the Fatal Flaw, the Dirty Truckers, the Motion Sick, the Have Nots; (night 4) Anarchy Club, Muy Cansado, Dead Cats Dead Rats, Sarah Rabdau & Self Employed Assassins; (night 5) Thick as Theives, the Mystery Tramps, Gene Dante & the Future Starlets, Destruct-a-thon; (night 6) Trucker Mouth, the New Alibis, Gozu, the Lights Out. *** ANDY MILK (the Vital Might) is running in the Boston Marathon (with his girlfriend Jen) on 4/20 and continues to raise money for cancer research. *** The Milkyway Lounge will pretty much cease to exist when Bella Luna (the attached restaurant) relocates to the Brewery at 284 Amory Street in Jamaica Plain. Sunday brunch may be the only time for entertainment. *** JEFF FETTIG has taken over booking the Clear Conscience Café in Central Square, Cambridge. *** The band BILL is looking for people who want to be in their movie on 4/16 at the Lucky Dog. Get there at 8:00 pm to be in the crowd as a movie extra for cheering, chanting, and singing along. *** WZBC’s local show, Mass. Ave. & Beyond, has been suspended for the current semester. Host TRACEY STARK will be back on this summer. *** Drummer BILL JARRY (4” Stud) acted in an episode of the online hit series High Heel Samurai. *** McALISTER DRIVE has sold out their last four Boston dates—and we’re not talkin’ tiny rooms. *** RICH SAVOIE (Sad Marvin) was part of a group of music vets on Fox News that put together a list of 10 songs that should be avoided by American Idol contestants. Lolita: “Bohemian Rhapsody,” “Help,” “Respect,” “Piano Man” were included, but no songs by SAD MARVIN.

WE’LL MAKE GREAT PETS

Rita: Did you know that Lolita use to have a blind pigeon as a pet? She rescued it off the street. That was just one of the 56 birds she kept in her Cambridge apartment. She ended up having to give them all away because she developed the life-threatening bird lover’s lung. Lolita: But what about other people’s pets? Rita: Yeah, go ask people for stories about other people’s pets. Lolita: Sure, I’ll just text message some of my animal friends. OEDIPUS (x-WBCN): There is an adorable puppy at my Thai language school here in Bangkok with an extra paw on his foreleg. His name is Ang Pao, named after the red envelope of money given on Chinese holidays that symbolizes good luck and wards off evil spirits. *** CHRIS BRAT (the Throwaways/ the Acrobrats): My bandmate’s family’s dead cat is in the freezer in the basement. I don’t know that qualifies as something interesting about that particular pet, but it’s a real eye-opener when you’re drunkenly fishing around for a late-night snack. *** PETE DEGRAAF (Cleartheway/ Pete deGraaf Audio): My girlfriend’s cat would always invade any food that was on the table, which never made any sense to me because we eat vegan... Thanks, Lucy for standing in our cheeseless pizza! But we got some squirt guns and keep them next to the table. Every time Lucy tries to sample the food, we squirt her. I guess that cats hate being squirted with water more than they like vegan food. So nowadays she checks out the food from the top of the refrigerator. Now if we could just stop her from eating out of the garbage. *** CHANDLER “BUCK” TRAVIS (The Scott Bosley Philharmonic): My friend Tommy McGuirk had a dog named Grimes who could say “Colorado.” *** JOE COUGHLIN (the Noise): I have a friend with a three-legged pug named Bandit. He’s a great li’l pooch! *** STEVE BREMAN (Monique Ortiz): Monique Ortiz has a very sweet cat named Marlene (pronounced mer-leh-neh). She gets very jealous when we practice and often will waltz into our rehearsal demanding attention. We, of course, succumb to her jealousy, stop EVERYTHING and give her the love she needs before resuming our rehearsal. Hope that doesn’t destroy our hard-nosed rock rep (after all, she is an all-black cat). *** MERCY JAMES (Mercy James Gang): Our keyboard player Nixie has a cat that I am terrified of. It even killed a bat once. I don’t want to be next! *** RICK BERLIN (Rick Berlin): I knew this guy who had a cat named Harrison who could shit on command. He’d be playing poker in his kitchen and he’d brag to his friends about it. Nah. Bullshit, etc. So he’d get ’em to bet. Then he’d call the cat onto the linoleum and say “okay, Harrison... shit.” Harrison (a huge yellow tab) would stare at him cross-eyed, arch his big fat back, tighten his thin black lips and do it. One slender licorice turd onto the kitchen floor. Every time. My friend won every bet. Lolita: Wow. I’m speechless.

MUSICAL CHAIRS

Rita: Silence can make for a pretty lame column, Lolita. Now let’s deliver the Musical Chairs information. Musical Chairs is the dance that band members do when they jump from one band to the other. Here’s what we’ve picked up lately. With the passing of their lead singer, JEFF SPENCER, Memphis Rockibilly has decided to continue with their drummer ALLAN SHEINFELD switching to lead singer/ guitarist/keyboard player. TAURAS BISKIS has taken over on drums. *** JEN D’ANGORA (Downbeat 5) has a new 8-piece side project called JENNY DEE & THE DEELINQUENTS. *** DAMIEN has added his vocals and death growls to the theatrical ETERNAL EMBRACE. *** We’re not sure how long this strange name band has been around, but (RA), an old school industrial 3-piece features ROBIN AMOS (x-the Girls/ Cul de Sac). *** Drummer KEVIN JENSEN played his final gig with MELODEEGO. *** DRUNKS DON’T LIE added “EL JEFE” JEFF DeBIASE (x-5lb Brown/ Gut/ Feces Pieces) on drums; STEVIE FARMER x-The Medea Connection/ Feces Pieces) moved from bass to lead guitar; and SLIM moved from drums over to bass. Lolita: Wow, that musical chairs within musical chairs. It’s like they are building a new band.

OTHER BUILDINGS

Rita: Musicians build things other than bands. And I’m gonna find out right now what they build. Amanda, what have you built besides a coin operated boy? AMANDA PALMER (the Dresden Dolls): I once built a love parlor in my basement. We used to have parties down there when I was a teenager and I thought it would be awesome to create a kind of tent where people could make out. I made a huge sign for it and filled it with pillows. As far as I know, nobody ever went in there except me, when it was first built, in celebration. Alone. *** KEITH NELSON (Clatter Clatter): Oh, okay… I get it. Ha ha guys. God, it seems like we’ll never live this one down. *** TIM MUNGENAST (Tim Mungenast & His Preexisting Conditions): Back in the ’80s I built a guitar out of teak. Dubbed the Teak Wonder (a.k.a. the Paul Klee Custom), the design I came up with could be described as Hallucinogenic Swedish Modern. Jim Mouradian and Wolf Ginandes did the machine-tool work, while I did countless hours of shaping and sanding. One bonus was the sweet smell of the teak sawdust: like cough syrup, only good, if that makes any sense. *** DAMIAN DAVID (4” Stud): I have finally finished building that wood chipper out of common household parts and that’s great because it has helped me with my “dead hooker problem.” *** JOHNNY ANGEL (Blackjacks/ Thrills): A massive media empire. *** ERIC BETTEBCOURT (Eric Bettencourt Group/ Giraffe Attack): A Fender Stratocaster with Gibson electronics. *** JON MACEY (Fox Pass/ Urban Caravan): I am remarkably non-mechanical, so in literal terms, I have built very few things. However, I did set up and wire my own recording studio. I have also built a complex fantasy world that I visit often. *** MATTHEW McLAUGHLIN (Slow Century): In sixth grade I entered my school’s “invention convention” with a practical means of keeping my kid sister at a safe distance while traveling with my family. I called the invention the “Sibling Separator” and as its name implies was built to allow me the peace of mind and personal space I required during those long trips to our relatives. Years later Marya (my sister) and I still joke about it on stage. It figures that now as adults we spend most of our time together writing songs and playing music. Despite overcoming our differences, I still find myself trying to invent new ways maintaining some freedom. *** SUSANNA PORTE (the Cello Chix): I’ve built several miniature houses out of scrap paper, cloth, and plastic packaging. *** CHRIS DEVINE (Onebigmess): A car, a 1974 MGB convertible, great car, only downside is I can’t fit my guitar in the trunk! *** NOEL COAKLEY (the Autumn Hollow Band): Once I built a record shelf. It came out great until I stained it. It’s now “buffalo tender orange.” The stain can did not designate ‘buffalo tender orange—for I would not have bought it. I hated it at first. Now it looks spicy and delicious and functional. *** MICHAEL BLOOM (Tim Mungenast & his Pre-Existing Condition/ Sgt. Maxwell’s Peace Chorus): I used to build my own speaker cabinets, bolting half-inch plywood onto a substructure of 2x4s. They sounded okay, especially considering I bought my drivers at Radio Shack. The experience served me well when I rebuilt my rear deck, except I never quite finished it. *** MARTIN DOYLE (Underground Control): Provincetown Rocks!—the festival headlined by our own Chris Ballew of Supa Group, Egg, and the Presidents of the United States of America! And about 200 other local rock groups from Underground Control and Martin Doyle. Hey, you just got the scoop. *** JOHN HESS (the Vogon Poets): I build things for a living. I've built racing motorcycles and restored vintage European sports cars including a 1941 Indian Sport Scout, 1949 Vince Black Prince racing sidecar outfit, 1953 Harley KR sidecar racer). My automotive work includes a 1951 Ferrari 212 Export Vignale Spider, 1957 Ferrari 250 GT Speciale Coupe, 1961 Ferrari TR-61 Testa Rossa, and a 1954-1956 Mercedes 300SL Gullwings. Several of these cars were owned by Ralph Lauren and were in the exhibit at the MFA a few years back. I'm a machinist by trade and have also manufactured components for the international space station. Lolita: Wooo—the space station! I think that was a club I used to go to. I must have been there a lot because I remember hearing “Earth to Lolita” constantly.

ALL GOING OUT TOGETHER

Rita: While Lolita delights us with her honesty, I’ll enlighten you to shows that are worth your hard earned salary. SAM REED & THE RIOT ACT do their CD release at Atwoods on Saturday, 4/4. *** Same night, THE MOLENES are at Club Bohemia (Cantab downstairs). *** The ’BCN Rumble starts on the next night, Sunday 4/5, at the Middle East. Flip back two pages to read the full lineup. *** In A Pig's Eye hosts ERINN BROWN on Wednesday, 4/8. *** Our own DJ MATTHEW GRIFFIN spins at Xmortis on Friday, 4/10, at T.T. the Bear’s. *** Same night ENTRAIN brings their world boogie reggae to Johnny D’s. *** On Saturday, 4/11, ANDERSON MAR celebrates her birthday at Copperfields. *** On that same night there’s a Gilligan’s Island Party at Slainte in Portland, ME. *** On Thursday, 4/16, PLANETOID invades Great Scott. *** If you liked the British invasion, try MUCK & THE MIRES. They’re releasing Hypnotic at T.T. the Bear’s on Friday, 4/17. *** Same night the soulful CHICKEN SLACKS get them dancin’ at Johnny D’s.*** SCAMPER reunites and HARRIS plays their last show at the Middle East on Saturday, 4/18. *** That same night JESSE GALLAGHER (Apollo Sunshine) is at P.A.’s Lounge. *** Hardcore fans will be at the Middle East on Sunday, 4/19, for MOUTH SEWN SHUT. *** LARRY DERSCH and KEN STEINER are at C3 on Thursday, 4/23. *** THE GUNS OF NAVARONE headline Club Boho’s Ska Fest at the Cantab on Saturday, 4/25. *** Same night JOHN FUNKE hooks up with SOUL-LE-LU-JAH at Zuzu. Lolita: Spring is here—so come on out! Rita: And that means YOU! See you in the clubs!

PS—The Comm. Ave. Guitar Center moved to the Fenway side of Boylston Street (1255) in Boston.

RIP: MATT HERRICK (bassist for Dr. Frog and Glast) passed away on 1/4/09. He was 30 years old.

ONLINE-ONLY
JUST FOR MARCH

Rita: Welcome to our annual March online-only issue. It’s a great time of year to jumpstart the old computer head over to thenoise-boston.com and read about the starving artists who continue to entertain you under the most grueling situations. Lolita: I’m so excited about how exhilarating this winter has been. I don’t think I’ve ever done this much shoveling, and it’s the first time I’ve ever had to scrape ice, six inches thick, off a roof. Rita: Why didn’t you get your boyfriend to do that? Lolita: Well, he had a gig and then he was tired and then he was hungry and then he wanted more of you know what. Rita: Wouldn’t it be fun to have a Mr. Fixit boyfriend who does all the work that you have no idea how to do? My bedroom phone jack hasn’t been operating for a couple of months. I wish someone would just come over and hook me up. Lolita: Maybe you need to invent a bio-mechanical boyfriend who can be programmed to fill your needs. Rita: I think this item would sell. Let’s see if our friends have any ideas for other inventions. Lolita: Good idea, I think I’ll email them so I don’t have to stand on the corner of Mark Sandman Square freezing my butt off. HEY LOOK. THE CAPS KEY IS STUCK. CAN WE GET SOMEONE TO FIX THIS? T MAX: WHAT’S THE PROblem? It wasn’t broken. Lolita: Maybe you should stick around and help us more. Do you have any email addresses I COULD USE TO ASK THE QUESTION OF THE MONTH—OH LOOK, THE CAPS KEY IS STUCK AGAIN. T MAX: YOU JUST HAVE TO hit it again and it fixes itself. Lolita: Okay. Can you stand there and hit it when it gets stuck? Where’s Joel’s email? I heard he like Peeps. He’s such a nice man. There we go… email sent. Now just sit back and wait to hear what inventions are on the minds of our friendly rockers.

Rita: Ten minutes later, Joel’s is in our inbox with an invention he’d like to see… JOEL SIMCHES (Count Zero/Axemunkee): I want my Jetcar! We were promised that in the 21st century we'd all have one! Well, where is it? *** ANDERSON MAR (Dark Sky Productions/ Paul Green School of Rock): A car that runs on piss. Drunk men could make themselves useful by filling up everyone's tanks after last call at the local neighborhood dive bar, and we would no longer have to worry about the price of gas being higher than Courtney Love! *** VELKRO (POWERMAN 5000): I think it's time for new social website features to be created: for example, a highly interactive one that uses the power of bots, eBay, Craigslist, Google ads, and case-based reasoning to monitor people’s blogs, comments, and private messages for the good of mankind that brings people, their dreams and needs together. For instance, someday I envision a world where you can blog about how you need a new muffler for your car but can't afford the price you got from your mechanic, so as soon as you click "post" on your blog, a background bot contacts every mechanic shop in your town via an eBay-style job bidding widget, hopefully connecting you to whomever submits the lowest bid. I see it working for business, housing, job searches, and even dating. I think it's easier to blog about your problems then it is to go out and do something about it, so this feature would improve a lot of people’s lives. *** ANDY MILK (the Vital Might): This one is easy. Teleportation. While I love hours in the car with my bandmates driving nine hours to Pittsburgh, everything about touring would be better if at least PART of it could be teleportation. Instead of fast food three times a day, you could pop home for a healthy meal. Forget something at the practice space? ZAP. Can't miss your mom's birthday? ZAP. Need a shower to wash off the Jello? ZAP. No one believes me it'll happen in the next 100 years. People 100 years ago would shit their pants if they saw what we could do now. *** BRIAN OWENS (The Rampage Trio): I spend a lot of time on the road and there's nothing worse than getting behind someone in their car who is on a cell phone conference call to Iceland. Don't get me wrong, I'll love people from Iceland. Especially since they’re passing out Omega 3 pills like orange sunshine. I propose that someone invent a cell-phone-in-use detector device that will warn me what cars are up ahead that I should steer clear from. That would contribute greatly to helping me clean up my use of vulgar language as well as giving my middle digits a rest. Oh yeah, and a guitar shaped PEZ dispenser wouldn't be bad either. Whatever costs less. *** JON MACEY (Fox Pass/ Urban Caravan): I would like a contraption that could bring to life any image from the past. You place the headset on and you become completely immersed in a virtual reality. Then you can conjure up a memory and relive the moment, even in slo-mo if you choose, with all senses engaged. What would I do with such a device? Well, it would have nothing to do with sex.... *** JONATHAN ULMAN (Common Thrill): If I could wish for something to be invented, besides the obvious cure for cancer, I think I would like to have a music player embedded in my head that would play music based on my mood at the time. I seem to always find myself in situations where if only the perfect song were playing in my head, the whole setting of the event would be that much more powerful. I mean seriously, how many times do you wish Keith Sweat’s "Twisted" were playing in your head when making moves on someone? *** JOE COUGHLIN (the Noise): A machine that plays clear images and sound from your head, because I have THE craziest dreams in the world. People freak out when I just describe them, they're that intense. The size and scope of these things dwarf any special effects or whatever by light years. I know I'd make millions charging people to see this stuff. *** JAY ALLEN (Jay Allen & the Arch Criminals): As a child of the ’60s and ’70s I feel I was legitimately promised flying cars by the turn of the century. They are now at least 10 years overdue, at least according to the Jetsons, the Hanna-Barbera version of Nostradamus. Lolita: I guess flying cars are the most sought-after invention among our friends. Rita: Wouldn’t a small airplane serve as a flying car? JAY ALLEN: No, everyone would have a flying car and that would be your main mode of transit. Small planes are still very exclusive and only get you airport to airport. How do you get from the airport to where you have to go? Why, the flying car of course. Lolita: Then we’d have to have a new expression for a hitchhiker for flying cars. In fact—the term flying car has to go. Can we come up with something more hi-tech sounding?

NEWS THAT FLAPS

Lolita: How ’bout we call the flying car our “personal trajectory transport”? Rita: That’s what’s wrong with modern terminology. What did the word “car” mean before automobiles existed? Nothing. What we name the flying car doesn’t have to explain the invention so precisely. How ’bout something like a “flap.” Lolita: Okay, I like that. I can flap over to see you at 3:00. Rita: While Lolita is flapping, here is the latest local rock news… The 8^th Annual Independent Music Awards announced that MARTIN SEXTON won in the Live Performance Album category for his career-spanning retrospective CD entitled Solo; DAN ZANES (x-Del Fuegos) took top honors in the Children’s Album category with Nueva York. *** The Iguana Music Fund and the Passim Folk Music & Cultural Center (the legendary club where Bob Dylan and Joan Baez got their starts) gave THREE DAY THRESHOLD an award acknowledging the band’s musical achievements. *** ANGELA SAWYER has opened Weirdo Records (844 Mass Ave., Central Square, Cambridge). *** P.A.'s is proud to announce the addition of JEN GUTHRIE to the staff as the new booking manager! *** Clear Conscience Cafe and booker ADAM SHERMAN ended their working relationship. *** USA Today included Irma Thomas's version of the WHAT TIME IS IT MR. FOX song "Cold Rain" in their top Grammy-nominated playlist. *** EPILEPTIC DISCO, the band that got a lot of folks pissed about their name, played their reunion at Church on Saturday, February 21, 2009. *** Mr. Inappropriate Productions gave AD FRANK a stern talking to when Ad changed change his name to MC wid da Flava. After the talk Mr. Flava agreed to switch back to his original name—the one that we frequently confuse with Plus Hotdog. *** AMANDA PALMER (the Dresden Dolls) continues to circle the globe with success in every port. Lately she’s involved with ninja ukulele appearances. *** THE UPPER CRUST appear on the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (CBS) on Monday, 3/16 at 12:35 AM (which is actually Tuesday morning if you want to get technical). *** AJDA THE TURKISH QUEEN is touring with MARTIN BISI (producer of the Dresden Dolls, Swans, Ginger Baker and hundreds of others) as his backup vocalist. *** WZBC (90.3 FM) programming is now archived online for two weeks. You can access the mp3's and links to the corresponding playlists at http://zbconline.com. *** THE SOUND MUSEUM celebrates its 25 anniversary—watch for at least one celebratory show in May at the Magic Room in Brighton. *** While on tour heading south THE ERIC BAYLIES BAND’s mini school bus caught fire and had to be scrapped. The band had to rent a van that they couldn’t afford for the next two weeks. *** ANNGELLE WOOD is working on a future show for Boston Emissions of favorite cover songs by local bands. *** Tribute band AGE AGAINST THE MACHINE recorded an original song for WWE wrestler Jack Swaggar and he became champ. The song, “Get on Your Knees,” was played in arenas all over the world, then YouTube, then national TV; then it was released on Columbia Records and debuted at number one on Billboard’s soundtrack chart (it’s at number 11 in the top 200). Lolita: I guess that kind of excellent track record is what it takes for a song to become a hit these days.

WHO’S HI-TECH?

Rita: Hey Lolita! Still want something more hi-tech than an airplane? Go find out who has that hi-tech knack. Text all the people you know who are up on the latest hi-tech gadgets—see what they have. Lolita: I’m right on it… MARYBETH MAES (Marybeth Maes): I love my GPS! I figured out how to get it to swear! I saved my home address in my favorites as a swear-word, (rather than "home," as that is so boring) and it announces that I am 300 feet from ^*&!@&* on the right! It's a riot. *** JAMES LOCKRIDGE (bigheavyworld.com): My 1988 4Runner does 70 up my mountain in snow. Technology can't help me—I'm all set. *** LUCRETIA X. MACHINA (Lucretia's Daggers): I’m still using my 10-year-old desktop, telephone landline, and just starting to listen to online radio, my "hi-techness" consists of writing emails to my webmasters (bassist Odetta Mo and videographer Sam among them) with instructions of how to edit LD's website. I'm good at editing and adding code to the LD MySpace and doing web searches, however. Eh, I'm all about the email. *** JIMMY HUGHES (Turtle Ambulance): We use Christmas lights in our shows... also I have a lot of RAM. *** KIER BYRNES (Three Day Threshold): I'm not very hi-tech but our drummer Eric is. In addition to being a walking Mr. Gadget, he's a ham radio operator. When we go on the road, our truck looks like a scared porcupine because of all his radio antennas popping out of it. *** WILL DAILEY (Will Dailey): It has been four years but I still think checking my email on my cell phone is incredibly hi-tech. Other than that I hacked my iPhone, used it for two years then sold it at a profit online. I felt high from that. *** DAMIAN DAVID (4" Stud): I'm the "hi-techiest" with this phone that now I can take pictures, text the ladies, call my bookie, play poker with Shannon Elizabeth (seriously), watch my diet, quit smoking, check my calendar, email family, access eBay, check my stocks, pay bills and parking tickets, see who won, level a picture frame, find the best route to the packy store, and look at porn while bored at church... of course it's set to silent so I'm not rude. *** MIKE MALONE (Orb Mellon): I'm really just an analog guy in a digital world. That said, I'm sort of an unfortunate Crackberry addict as well. *** DARRON BURKE (Makeshift Studio/ Blanketeer): My best friend Mark calls me Mr. Technical. As a kid I took everything apart. Now, as an adult, I can put things together! One of my jobs is building microphones. I service and rebuild all of my recording studio gear. I'm fastidious about keeping drum hardware torqued-up and tight. Lolita: I’m the same about my posterior software—it’s always soft to the touch but tight as a drum. Just the way my men like it.

MUSICAL CHAIRS

Rita: As Miss Flabby Ass tries to impress you with her imagination, I’ll give you the nuts and bolts that make up fresh bands—I’m talking about the members of newly formed bands. JESSE GALLAGHER (Apollo Sunshine) has gathered COLLIN McRAE (violin), CHRISTOPHER LIER (trumpet), and PAUL DILLEY (upright bass) to form the JESSE GALLAGHER QUARTET. *** FINNY MOORE (x-Victory at Sea/ Robots) is playing solo now. *** SUMMERDUCKS includes members of NIGHT RALLY, TINY AMPS, and THE COMMON COLD. *** JENNY DEE & THE DEELINQUENTS are JENNY DEE (vocals), ED VALAUSKAS (bass), PHIL AIKEN (keys), ERIC SAULNIER (guitar), TONY GODDESS (guitar), ERIC ANDERSON (drums), and REBECCA DANGORA and AIMEE WEAKLEY (backing vocals). *** TERRY ADAMS (NRBQ) has a new band called THE TERRY ADAMS ROCK & ROLL WHEAT HORNS. *** PAT O’CONNELL has joined CHANDLER TRAVIS PHILHARMONIC. *** Cellist KAREN LANGLIE (wife of TWINK) has a solo project with an experimental/ electronic feel to it. She calls it WISTERIAX. *** ROCK CITY CRIME WAVE played their last show on 2/6/09. *** BIKINIRADIO includes members of THE MOTION SICK and THE IN OUT. Lolita: The last time I wore a radio as a bikini I was escorted off the beach… by the handsomest surfer dude.

FAVORITE CLOTHES

Rita: Many people know that Lolita’s radio is one of her favorite pieces of clothing. But not everyone is that adventurous. Here’s what some other folks told us was their favorite piece of clothing. ED SYMKUS (Community Newspaper Company): I love my shirt (with a nod to Donovan Leitch). *** MONIQUE ORTIZ (Monique Ortiz): My favorite piece of clothing is my red motorcycle jacket. It's older than I am and I'll wear it until it falls apart. *** NEIL SIMMONS (the Living Sea): My security blanket. I'm kind of like Linus, only I'm 30 years old, not 6. *** LINDA VIENS (Angeline/ SuperPeople): My favorite piece of clothing is my full-length fluffy black fake fur dress… very Morticia Adamsish. *** STEVE "ACE" McARDLE (Skull Hammer): It's a toss-up between my 30-06 bullet belt I got from an old ex-army friend or my studded leather guitar strap I made from another strap, an old belt and a five-inch saw blade. *** JESSE VON KENMORE (the New Allibis): Baroness Von Kenmore’s tight gray business suit—in a pile on the bedroom floor. *** AJDA THE TURKISH QUEEN (Black Fortress of Opium): My fave piece of clothing is a very swanky faux fur coat I got in Turkey after my mom died. It has a blinged-out belt buckle and zipper. Brian Jones was my fashion inspiration for it. Now I just need furry boots to match it! *** BILLY CARL MANCINI (Bird Mancini): I've got a pair of vintage navy blue Levi’s cords that are so comfortable and so soft. I've been wearing them for so many years that I can no longer be seen in public with them. They are beginning to wear so thin the cords are disappearing. Soon there will be no pants at all. Now that will be extra comfort! *** MIKE PIEHL (Reverse): My dickie. *** ERIC WELSH (ChillHouse Studios): My favorite garments are these black hoodies I got while touring with the Pixies. One of them is really thick like a winter jacket! *** RAY MASON (Ray Mason Band/ Lonesome Brothers): It’s a tossup between my NRBQ 35th Anniversary Reunion Concert T-shirt and my red Converse hi-tops. Are shoes considered clothing? Either way they're both essential wear! *** RUBY BIRD (Bird Mancini/Urban Caravan): I wear my black cowboy boots with jeans, shorts, skirts, even formal dresses... everything! *** TIM DINNEEN (Singuya): The hat. It’s one of the most expressive pieces of clothing you can wear. It tells people if you’re a sports fan (baseball hat), a cowboy (cowboy hat), a pretty boy (a kangol hat), slick Rick (fedora), a little more down and dirty (trucker hat), a hunter (boonie hat) and the list goes on. Not to mention that within each hat style you have an even larger customization combination. The hat you wear on any given night lets people know the kinda mood you’re in especially when you put on your drinking hat. Lolita: Note to readers: make sure your drinking hat is waterproof. Take it from me—I ruined my dress when the wine seeped right through my knitted drinking hat.

LIVE SHOWS

Rita: Well it’s time to put on your gig hat and get out and see one of your favorite local bands. Here are some shows we recommend… Every Wednesday in March DENNIS BRENNAN holds residency at the Lizard Lounge. *** THE VIDEO GAME ORCHESTRA (guess what they play) hits the stage on Thursday, 3/5, at Berklee. The 90-member VGO is a 45-piece orchestra, 40-piece choir, and 5-piece rock band, with players from over 20 countries who are students at Berklee, Boston University, Boston Conservatory, and New England Conservatory. *** WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE destroys the Midway on Saturday, 3/7. *** On Sunday, 3/8, DESTROY BABYLON brings their dub rawkin’ reggae style to Great Scott. *** THE PRIME MOVERS’ final gig that we reported would happen on 1/16 didn’t happen—the new final gig is Friday, 3/13, at the Dilboy VFW in Davis Sq.—it’s CAM ACKLAND’s birthday bash. *** On that same night THE BIG DISAPPOINTMENTS play right before the newest member of the Noise Hall of Fame, RICK BERLIN, at the Midway. *** THE REAL KIDS bring old school Boston rock to the Cantab on Saturday, 3/14. *** Same night THROWING MUSES are downstairs at the Middle East. *** ALLOY ORCHESTRA performs live to the silent film The Last Command at Somerville Theatre on Saturday, 3/14, at 8:00 pm. This is a Boston premiere. *** Dance to SOUL-LE-LU-JAH on Saturday, 3/20, (as you can on every Saturday) at Zuzu. *** Last month’s cover girl, SARAH RABDAU provides the entertainment with her Self-Employed Assassins at the Middle East on Monday, 3/23. *** On Saturday, 3/28, JOHN POWHIDA INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT de-ices its landing strip at T.T. the Bear’s. *** Our old friend BERTRAND LAWRENCE (husband of SUZI LEE of Mardi Gras/Slide fame) brings in his friends to play blues from France at Johnny D’s on the last day of the month, Tuesday, 3/31.

RIP: LAUREL BOWMAN from the bands Proletariat, Lumen, and Keemun died on 1/26/09.
RIP: JEFF SPENCER, lead singer of the Memphis Rockabilly Band, passed away on 2/11/09.
RIP: JEANNE CONNOLLY, bartender/band booker from T.T. the Bear’s, died on 2/16/09.

I’M NOT FRIGID, I’M JUST COLD

Rita: I love to complain about the snow, sleet, and bitter cold, but the truth is that winter helps us experience the passing of time and eventually encourages passion and surges of energy for new ideas and growth. Lolita: And every winter, in our first issue of the new year, we look back at the previous year and applaud the accomplishments of those who have followed through with their growth and ideas. Rita: Elsewhere in the issue we devote space to picks for Top Tens in many categories put together by Noise contributors. But we’d like to hear from more than just our staff. So, let’s get everyone here to sit around in a big circle and have each person take a turn to talk about the top three of anything pertaining to local rock of 2008.

CIRCLE OF TOP THREE

Lolita: I know everyone has a person they’d like to sit next to, or someone they don’t want to sit next to, but please people! Let’s just get this together. Nick, will you give us your top three before a fight breaks out on the other side of the room? NICK BLAKEY (The In Out): Top Three of 2008: Album: Rick Berlin Old Stag; Song: the Dirty Truckers “So So Numb”; Live show: the Figgs/the Rudds, Church 3/1/08. ***MISS LYN (Boston Groupie News): Top Three Guys in Tight Pants: Joey Boy (Red Invasion); Rick Barton (Everybody Out!); Cam Ackland (the Prime Movers). ***KEVIN PATEY (Combat Jack Management): Top Three Shows of 2008: Darkbuster Hometown Throwup—eight shows in eight days! Showcase show with Jason Bennett & the Resistance, Have Nots, Swaggerin’ Growlers, and Chris Keating. New Collisions at Middle East. *** PETE SUTTON (Temper): Top Three things I look forward to seeing local music: (1) Beer in a plastic cup. (2) Band that’s only been together a couple of months saying, “we’re gonna play a new one now.” (3) Smokin’ outside with authentic rock dudes. *** SCOTT ANDERSON (Cemetery Superfly): Top Three reasons bands play live shows: (1) They love showing up early for soundcheck and waiting three hours to play while the sound guy is home sleeping! (2) The exercise they get from moving their equipment at shows from the hallway to the bathroom to the stage to the street is better than Buns of Steel! (3) Any moment could be a Def Leppard moment on stage... assuming there is a stage! *** MIKE CANN (BostonFreedomRally.com): Top Three Music Acts That Won Massachusetts Decriminalized Cannabis in 2008. (1) Graveyard BBQ. When do the Boston Police and High Times agree on anything? Graveyard BBQ crowned wildest set at the 2008 Rally. The NC17 rated party that working class moms, hipsters, stoners, strippers, hardcore kids, and cops love. (2) Superpower. Dave Tree wrote “God Grows Grass” with his old act, he’s never stopped supporting the sweet leaf. (3) Prospect Hill. Made it okay to support Question 2 in the burbs. Pushed the kids out of the malls, into the voting booths. Adam sings to the pretty female fans, we win. *** CARLENE BAROUS (Din/ Temper): Top Three socks-knockin’ live performances 2008: the Buckners at O’Brien’s in December; MOWE (My Own Worst Enemy) at Church in June; and Amanda Palmer at Symphony Hall in June. *** JOE COUGHLIN (the Noise): (1) Mission of Burma is STILL at it! (2) Men & Volts are revamped, playing out again, and doing stuff from their catalog that was never performed live before. (3) WMBR, in general, and for streaming all shows online for two weeks after airing (www.wmbr.org). *** SAMMY MIAMI (HoundStone): Best Vocalist: Ward Hayden. Best guitarist: Danny Zug. Best radio show: Bay State Rock with Carmelita. *** MR. CURT (…Ensemble/ Urban Caravan): Nothing is absolute, but here are three of my fave newest CDs released by localites in 2008: (1) Rick Berlin: Old Stag; (2) The Accident That Led Me to the World: The Island Gospel; (3) Patty Larkin: Watch the Sky. Runner-ups: Sal Baglio: The Gift; Jon Macey & Steve Gilligan: “Everything Under the Sun”; Sgt. Maxwell’s Peace Chorus: The Military EP; Glenn Williams: Freely Breathing; Chillgroove: Juju; Folksonomy: Trepanning; Eksi Ekso: I Am Your Bastard Wings; Amanda Palmer: Who Killed Amanda Palmer?; and LowBudget Records instrumental sampler: A Chosen Phew! *** PETER RINNIG (QRST’s): Top live band: the Neighborhoods. They can play better then anybody—any age—anytime! Best selling T-shirt (from QRST’s): the Rat. We sell more Rat shirts then any other T-shirt affiliated with music in Boston. I honestly do not think that many people have been to the Rat in its heyday. But I could be mistaken. Rita: Thousands of people passed through the doors of the Rat in its heyday. But everyone likes to honor a lost iconic club. Long live the Rat. Long live the Abbey, Bunratty’s, the Underground, Jacks, Jumpin’ Jack Flash, Chet’s Last Call, Down Under, Johnny D’s (in Allston), Streets, Green Street Station, fill in your favorite closed club. Lolita: You don’t have to wait for a club to close to honor it. There are many clubs today right around Boston that deserve praise—the Middle East, the Cantab, Johnny D’s, the Midway, Great Scott, Church, the Paradise, the Milkyway, the Lizard Lounge, T.T. the Bear’s, Harper’s Ferry, Toad, All Asia, O’Briens, Copperfields, the Alchemist, Bill’s Bar, Atwoods, Club Passim, PA’s Lounge, Sally O’Brien’s, the Precinct, Zuzu, Matt Murphy’s—and that’ just the ones in town I can think of off the top of my head. Support these businesses and others like them because they support live music. Now let’s move onto the news of today—the stuff that becomes part of tomorrow’s history.

NEWS

Rita: It takes time but the mainstream population always comes around, sometimes very slowly, to recognizing the heroes of the underground. On 1/5/09 Boston Garage Band Radio was launched by JEFF ROYDS. It’s an online radio station that plays music by Massachusetts’ bands 24 hours a day. Go to bostongaragebands.com. We’re going to tell you a lot more about Jeff in March 2009—in our online-only issue. Lolita: March is traditionally our one online-only issue during he year. *** BANG CAMARO played Late Night with Conan O’Brien on 1/7/09. *** WAR TAPES “Dreaming of You” was played on the New Year’s Eve Special with Carson Daly while he talked about New Year’s Eve around the world. *** CHRIS TRAPPER’s “Least You’re Breathing” (from Til the Last Leaf Falls) was aired on an episode of teen drama Privileged on the CW network. *** Boston Music Spotlight has named ELI “PAPERBOY” REED & THE TRUE LOVES their 2008 Band of the Year. *** THE EVERYDAY VISUALS are the only band from New England listed to play the South by Southwest (SXSW) Music Conference and Festival, scheduled to take place Wednesday, 3/18 through 3/22, 2009 in Austin, Texas. *** S.R.O. recorded a live TVM performance and interview with THE VITAL MIGHT at Mohegan Sun Casino’s Wolf Den. The show is set to air in February on the New England CBS affiliate. *** THE DRESDEN DOLLS played at the 9:30 Club in Washington, DC, on 1/20/09 to celebrate the inauguration of Barack Obama. *** JOSHUA BELL, one of the world’s finest violinists, is not a local musician but before his Boston appearance where tickets cost $100 apiece, the Washington Post did a social experiment and had him play in the subway incognito. People rushed through their day giving him little time or appreciation not realizing what they were passing up. The lesson is to slow down and appreciate the things around you. Boston flourishes with musical talent. Take some in soon—it’s good for your health and will socially activate you. *** PETER C. JOHNSON has put together a CD (1978-1981) that combines his old A&M and CBS releases. Proceeds from sales benefit the Mark Sandman Project. *** The Boston Music Trail (funded by Ernie Boch Jr.’s Music Drives Us Foundation) is being launched by the Music Museum Of New England (MM/ONE) to honor sites significant to the musical history of the city, and to provide visitors with information about them and directions where to find them. *** JIM GILBERT (the Sheila Devine) lost his 1996 Sunburst American Standard Fender Jazz bass with a Warmuth replacement neck (no serial number) when his rehearsal space (at the Beacon Street Sound Museum, 2nd floor) was robbed. Also lost in the theft were a drum kit, amps, and some mixing gear. *** The editorial staff of Performer magazine (all three editions, including Northeast Performer) were laid off on Friday, 12/19/08. The magazine will now have one national print release and three on-line versions for each issue. Lolita: The economic climate is trying all of us. Be aware of where you spend your money. We’ve said it many times in these pages—support the small businesses in your neighborhood, the ones that support you, and the ones that care about the same things you care about.

BLACK HISTORY

Rita: Speaking of things we care about, February is Black History Month—let’s find out what our fellow rockers think is important about this tribute to black history. Go ahead, Ken, you can start. KEN CMAR (Wonderdrug Records): One of my musical heroes is Sly Stone, and I think he doesn’t get quite the credit he deserves. Not only was he an amazing songwriter and performer, but he put together the first really integrated band that was accepted by the mainstream. That’s a pretty big deal. Dance to the music! *** BRIAN KING (What Time Is It, Mr. Fox?): Right now. This moment. We now have the first black president. This importance of this is beyond measure. Not only significant in the resurrection and progression of our hopes and ideals, but also as a symbol. And symbols speak to the unconscious, to places untouched by the intellect, to the core soul. At this foundation there has been an enormous change for our country as a whole. And in the same breath, I think of the loss of someone who always reached that place in her music and planned to sing at the inauguration of Barack Obama. I celebrate and grieve the great Odetta, who simply was music. *** WILLIAM DWYER (Neon God): We celebrate Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King Jr., Malcolm X, Medgar Evers, Dick Gregory, Oprah Winfrey, Barak Obama and many more amazing people. Musically, the list is endless and grows each year. Billie Holiday, Robert Johnson, Nina Simone, Nat King Cole, Aretha Franklin, Miles Davis, Jimi Hendrix, and on and on. Comic genius from Bill Cosby, Eddie Murphy, and Dave Chappelle to name just a few. It is great to have an official month to celebrate black history, although, in many ways, I celebrate it every day. *** TIM MUNGENAST (Tim Mungenast & His Preexisting Conditions): When I was kid, I did a book report on the scientist/inventor Dr. George Washington Carver. I am still greatly impressed by his gentle courage and tenaciousness as he fought his way through Jim Crow’s bullshit and became a renowned man of science. *** TOM ARABIA (AMP): In these historic times of crisis and hope, while the economy crumbles and wars in Afghanistan, Iraq, and Gaza rage on horrifically and futilely; while the first black president of a country built by slaves on the one hand appoints noxious political cretins to his cabinet recycled from Bush and Clinton who created the current disasters, but on the other hand supports the inspiring and victorious occupation of the illegally closed Republic Windows & Doors plant in Chicago by mostly immigrant workers in the UE; while entire countries are going bankrupt, Iceland, and others are in mass political upheaval, Greece; for Black History Month and the entire new epoch unfolding before our eyes, we must first and foremost recall one of the great founders of the struggle for black and working class emancipation in this country, Frederick Douglass, and his utterly vital maxim: “If there is no struggle there is no progress. Those who profess to favor freedom, and yet depreciate agitation, are men who want crops without plowing up the ground. They want rain without thunder and lightning. They want the ocean without the awful roar of its many waters. This struggle may be a moral one; or it may be a physical one; or it may be both moral and physical; but it must be a struggle. Power concedes nothing without demand. It never did and it never will.” *** LIZ BORDEN (the Liz Borden Band/ the Liz & Sean Show): I think black history is important because people gave their lives and worked very hard so we would acknowledge that very important part of our history. People marched, crossed lines, and lost their lives for equal rights. The civil rights movement is one of the most important and exciting parts of our history. Martin Luther King, Rosa Parks, Malcolm X, and W.E.B. Du Bois, to name a few, are all very important figures. There are so many other people that took stands and would not back down for human rights including college students Vivian Malone and James Hood. In Alabama they had to be escorted into a university by federal marshals with death threats against them just to get an equal education. The movement refers to the reform movements in the United States aimed at abolishing racial discrimination against African Americans and restoring suffrage in Southern states. Without there is a good chance we would not have President Obama leading our country. *** ERIC AUSTIN (Three Day Threshold/ the Rumbletones): As a modern popular music musician, no matter how time-worn this point has become, it is important for me to reflect on the significant contribution to American popular music from the African-American community. The influence of their music touches just about every aspect of American popular music. Rita: Whites typically lifted black music, stripped it of its soul, sanitized it, and sold it to the mainstream. The best early example of this was Pat Boone doing Little Richard’s “Tutti Frutti.” Lolita: Wasn’t Pat Boone in Little Richard’s band? Rita: You fool—Little Richard would have tossed Pat Boone out of his band as quick as he could sing, “Tutti Frutti, loose bootie” (the original lyrics).

MUSICAL CHAIRS

Lolita: Well, here in the local music scene, bands are changing members all the time. Here’s what we picked up lately… JIM FOSTER x-Bound.4.Venus / the DeNiros) is playing Irish folk music with THE BARLEYMEN and has concluded that Irish pubs have cleaner bathrooms than rock clubs. *** Multi-instrumentalist JEFF CLARKE has joined THE SUN LEE SUNBEAM on drums. *** Fans of THE RED TELEPHONE might be interested in BIRDWATCHERS OF AMERICA, seeing that both MATT HUTTON and PAT McDONALD are in the band. *** JESSE von KENMORE never stops adding new bands to his résumé. He’s joined with DREW SUXX (x-Lost City Angels/Ducky Boys) to form THE NEW ALINIS. *** ADAM ABRAMS (Aeolian Race) has joined SUGAR SNOW. *** BRITT LIGHTNING (Jaded) has teamed up with SAMMI MIAMI and other former Shööt the Möön members to form HOUNDSTONE. *** Guitarist CHRIS BRAT has joined THE SPOILERS. *** THE PRIME MOVERS (Mach II) have decided to call it quits after their initial reunion six years ago. Their final show was on 1/16 at the Middle East. Lolita: Well, now the Movers have set up the possibility of a re-reunion.

VISUAL ART

Rita: While Lolita adds pages to the local music history book, I want to examine the diversity of our musicians. I asked a bunch of locals to tell me who are musicians that create the best visual art. Here’s a sampling of my findings… MARK LIND (… & the Unloved): Without a doubt that would be my bandmate, Douglas Sullivan, from Ducky Boys. The guy is talented in so many ways, but visual arts is probably his best area. He actually makes replica movie props for fun. He’s designed and built several replicas of the Proton Packs from Ghostbusters and sold them to other collector nerds. He designs and builds his own elaborate Halloween costumes that put the professionals to shame. He actually helped design a part of a replica light saber that ended up being mass-produced and sold in places like Spencer Gifts after that abortion of a new Star Wars trilogy was made. In addition to all of this he does web sites, CD layouts, and oil paintings. I have one of his original paintings hanging in my bedroom and every unlucky lady that gets to see it always asks where it came from. *** GARY WALEIK (Big Dipper): Bill Goffrier is certainly among the best local visual artists. And what range: watercolors of tranquil New England scenes, pastels of Wichita architecture, oils of naked ex-girlfriends, depictions of alien spacecraft and the lovable creatures that fly them, even the fabulous cover of Supercluster: the Big Dipper Anthology (Merge, 2008). He can do it all! *** LEXI KAHN (LowBudgetSuperhero.com): I would love to have one of Asa Brebner’s pieces on my wall. He can do some excellent pen-and-ink that rivals Shel Silverstein, but I love when he builds stunning wall sculptures. He’s like a modern day Bosch, only his unique garden of earthly delights is constructed from old guitars, toys, and found objects. Joey Pesce is also really talented, go to pescesculpture.com and look up the piece called Spirit and Minions, which I think might be presently hanging from the ceiling of River Gods. *** TAD OVERBAUGH (The Kickbacks/ x-Dirty Truckers): John Brookhouse’s artwork makes your eyes crackle and pop with joy. Always inspiring. *** CHRIS BRAT (the Throwaways/ the Acro-brats): Well, I like all of Ian’s stuff that he’s done for flyers, CD art, and all that. DeBarge does great work over at Stingray, so he’d be another obvious choice. Paul Delano’s clever with the Photoshop skills and my boy Swid has been responsible for impressive graphics in wicked popular video games. But just the other week I drew a really kickass rendition of the Aerosmith logo with a Sharpie on a napkin at the Cellar, so I’m gonna have to give it up to myself. *** WILL DAILEY (Will Dailey): I am addicted to Rose Polenzani’s YouTube videos. They are creative, fun, musically astounding, and she keeps them coming. I am more addicted to them than dark chocolate. *** MATT HUTTON (Birdwatchers of America): Well, Ad Frank is a work of art in and of himself—does that count? *** ANDERSON MAR (Dark Sky Productions/ Paul Green School of Rock): I would nominate Walter Sickert (… & the Army of Broken Toys) for his quirkily morbid drawings containing hearts, squids, wire trees, television-headed monsters, and grotestesque bunny rabbits. *** FRANK ROWE (CLASSIC RUINS): David Sholl from Four Piece Suit does these Ashcan School style paintings of sensuous radiators leaning against each other in the sun. Some have erections (bleeder valves) and they all look totally at ease in a yard full of other radiators. In the titles, he calls them Rads. If you think about it, people and radiators are rather similar... sometimes warm, often hard. *** RAY MASON (Ray Mason Band/ Lonesome Brothers): There’s no doubt that the answer to this question is the one and only Asa Brebner! Soulful and terrifying beauty would be an apt description of Asa’s artwork. Get some now! Lolita: Okay, Asa is the first two get more then one nod, so we’re crowing him today’s king of musical visual artists. I’ve seen his art and I have to admit, you don’t forget his pieces after seeing them.

SCENE SPLEEN

Rita: Let’s combine our visual and aural sensors and figure out what bands we’re going to see and hear live in February 2009. POWERMAN 5000 returns to Boston on Monday, 2/2, at the Middle East. *** On Wednesday, 2/4, Heavy Rotation Records presents the Dorm Sessions 6 compilation release concert at the Berklee Performance Center. *** Then on Saturday, 2/7, THE GARAGE DOGS return to the Midway. *** The unsuperstitious CHANDLER TRAVIS PHILHARMONIC dares to play at Johnny D’s on Friday the 13th. *** GIRL ON TOP may dance on your table if you go to the Cantab on Saturday, 2/14. *** On Friday, 2/20, there are two 16th annual Mardi Gras celebrations to choose from: Club Bohemia’s Mardi Gras Masquerade Ball with the Chicken Slacks at Johnny D’s, and Shaun Wolf Wortis’s Mardi Gras Ball at T.T.’s. Both are highly recommended. *** THICK AS THIEVES releases its CD at the Middle East on Saturday, 2/21. *** THE JESSE GALLAGHER QUARTET plays Zuzu on Monday, 2/23. *** THE IN OUT gets its motion goin’ at the Midway on Saturday, 2/28. Lolita: Until we meet and exchange warm hugs, be well, and find the time to rock.

Rita: This year the gift-giving holidays have new creative potential. Lolita: Yeah, with all the financial turmoil that Bush left for Obama to deal with, I’ll be lucky if I give or get one present this year. Rita: But isn’t that normal for you? You’re so friggin’ cheap—the last gift you gave me was those jeans that didn’t fit you anymore. You could have at least washed them. And don’t be whimpering about how many gifts you get—you normally get only one present—and it’s from that stalker who you encourage by leaving underwear in your mailbox. Lolita: I’ve never done that! Oh wait, that was for the new mailman. Rita: Well, even the stalker may not be able to afford a gift for you—it may be a year that you just have to reminisce about past gifts. Lolita: I think we could make a Question of the Month from this subject—like, what’s the best way to encourage a stalker to get you wonderful gifts? Rita: Yeah, that’s perfect for you, Lolita, but let’s amend it slightly to “share with us a memory you have of a holiday celebrated in December.” There’s Rick. Lolita, go get Rick to start the ball rolling.

HOLIDAY MEMORIES

Lolita: Okay. Rick, have you seen my underwear? I mean, give me a holiday memory. RICK BERLIN (self): Weatogue, CT, Christmas Eve, hung the balls ’n’ lights. Tip-toed upstairs in my flannel jammies only to hear an explosion. My dad (DICK Kinscherf) collapsed into the tree, hammered after yet another night on the town. The tree hit the floor, shattering lights ’n’ balls. Dad yelling. I smile thinking of it now, maybe I was terrified way back then. *** LINDA VIENS (Angeline/ Sgt. Maxwell’s Peace Chorus): For years I have celebrated the winter solstice with Wayne and friends, building a big fire in the fire pit; burning away the “past” by casting something into the fire (cornmeal, glitter, pieces of paper with our words) and heralding the return of the sun, and with it, new beginnings, and new hopes and dreams. *** MR. CURT (Urban Caravan): One Xmas holiday week Ms. Donna and I won a post office trip to Pasadena and the Rose Bowl parade. Totally special and weather was perfect! We decorated a postal float, cruised Los Angeles and Hollywood, visited museums, ate splendid meals, danced/sat on Santa Monica beach watching the sun go down on New Year’s Eve before a huge post office banquet, and spent New Years Day baked and fed with friends on a veranda in the hills above L.A. Phew, a person could get spoiled! *** KEN FIELD (Revolutionary Snake Ensemble/Birdsongs of the Mesozoic): A few years ago I started playing with my friend, singer/songwriter Julie Dougherty, at her long-running annual free Christmas Eve concert/sing-along at the Hawthorne Hotel in Salem. It’s not the kind of music I generally play, but it’s great fun with some great musicians. At the end one year, a somewhat frail and elderly woman came up to the stage and said “You’ve made me so very happy tonight!” I was quite moved. *** AD FRANK (The Fast Easy Women/ Lifestyle): I spent Christmas Eve 2006 at the Glass Slipper. Lolita: Thank you, Ad, for not sharing all those dirty details. I would have been so embarrassed. *** KIER BYRNES (Three Day Threshold): I know it’s not Christmas until the Christmas tree gets knocked over (at least once). This year’s Christmas should be interesting as we are headed out for a European tour the very next day, so we will be celebrating pretty hard. *** STEVE “ACE” McARDLE (Skull Hammer): I remember playing the 2005 Dougman Christmas party at the Framingham space with the Worst and watching our friends jamming until they had sweated out every ounce of booze and energy, and nearly collapsed onstage. Whatta holiday! *** BRIAN KING (What Time Is It Mr. Fox?): The December memory that sticks out most in my head, is when I was six and my mother tried, quite unsuccessfully, to explain why ghosts, witches, and jack o’lanterns were not appropriate Christmas tree decorations. To this day there is always a broom-riding witch hanging from my parents’ tree for the holidays. *** CORIN ASHLEY (The Pills): I spent Christmas of 1984 in Soviet Russia visiting churches and monasteries and other cultural sites popular with 15 year old boys. I remember being in a church for a nighttime Christmas Eve service at a huge cathedral in Zagorsk. It was so packed that one of girls in our party passed out and remained standing. She never fell over—luckily someone noticed that she was out cold. Also on that trip, I made out with a college-aged girl from New Jersey, a major accomplishment that I can only attribute to underage drinking (and it’s noted effects on girls from New Jersey). Mind you, I’m not saying she was pretty, but she was 18. Lolita: What the hell are you saying?! I was 17—and damn fine!!!

NEWS OF ROCK

Rita: While Lolita continues to lie about her age and other things, I’ll give the news that you just won’t find in other publications. ANDY MILK (The Vital Might) is running the 2009 Boston Marathon for the Dana Farber Cancer Institute. He runs the race in honor of his mother, Susan Milk, who is an 8-year breast cancer survivor. To help Andy meet his goal of raising $6000 for cancer research, go to rundfmc.org/andrewm2009. *** The Massachusetts Cannabis Reform Coalition (Mass Cann/NORML) thanks the people of Massachusetts for voting to eliminate the criminal sanctions against minor marijuana possession. *** APOLLO SUNSHINE hopped the Atlantic to Ireland where JESSE GALLAGHER retraced his family lineage in addition to rocking with the Dirty Pretty Things. *** REVOLUTIONARY SNAKE ENSEMBLE’s second CD release, Forked Tongue, is on the first round ballot Grammy nomination for Best Jazz Instrumental Album and Best Jazz Instrumental Solo. *** JADA (the only Boston band on Motown) performed the National Anthem at the Patriots/Jets game on 11/13/08.

*** CASEY DESMOND has gone all out in her new video, “Tilt Me Back.” Lolita: I swear I see some Bentmen costumes in this cinematic video. Don’t miss it—you can find it on YouTube. *** TWISTED RICO is back in town and is booking some Thursday night shows at the Cantab. His first includes CAGED HEAT’s 10th anniversary show with DANA COLLEY sitting in on sax at the Cantab on 12/18. *** The Abbey Lounge closed its doors for the last time on Wednesday 11/26. *** JEFF ROYDS (Boston Garage Bands) is launching a new Internet radio station that will play local music 24 hours a day. Go to bostongaragebands.com to find out more about this station that plans to go on air on 1/5/09. *** THE HOLLOW SOUND has been nominated for an mtvU Woodie Award: Best Music on Campus 2008, and will be featured on the MTV award show. *** MONGREL has recorded the theme song for PFG-TV (Pretty F’n Good), a weekly television series hosted by SCORCH from Manchester, NH, Rock101. PFG-TV is broadcast online and twice a week on MCAM cable TV in Manchester. *** ALEX MACRIDES, a junior at Boston Latin Academy, played his tenor sax at the White House in November ’08. He was part of the Berklee College City Music All Star Ensemble that won the prestigious Coming Up Taller award sponsored by Laura Bush. *** Big Heavy World of Burlington, VT, is holding a series of concerts to celebrate its website, bigheavyworld.com, that has been rebuilt to be used as a tool for any band interested in touring Vermont. *** Boogie Man: The Lee Atwater Story (aired on TV’s Frontline on 11/11/08) recently won a Chris Award at the Columbus International Film Festival. Director STEFAN FORBES was honored with the IDA’s Jacqueline Donnet Emerging Filmmaker Award. TIM ROBERT co-wrote the music for the film with Stefan. *** ANNA PRICE and MATT RHODES (both of the Silver Lining) are on their way to creating their second child. *** JOHN POWHIDA (…International Airport/ the Rudds) tied the knot with long-time girlfriend KATHERINE CROOM. They did it in style at the White Wedding Chapel in Las Vegas on 11/9/08. Lolita: Not only does John pick another woman to marry—when I thought I was his one-and-only—he commits the act on my birthday, just to rub it in. John you’re so mean to me—and… I love every minute of it. I just want to know, why wasn’t I a bridesmaid?

CAPTURING YOU

Rita: While Lolita pouts over her lost love, I’m going to find out who’s been captured in a song or piece of art. Let’s start with that woman who carries an axe behind her back. LIZ BORDEN (The Liz Borden Band): Having a song written about you is strange but at the same time very flattering. There have been a couple songs but I won’t kiss and tell! Okay, I will tell on one person. Bug Syphlloid/ Doug Quintal wrote a song about me. That is all I’m saying. *** DAVE TREE (SuperPower/ DrugWar): I just had art up in a show in Brooklyn. It was the 400th anniversary of John Milton author of “Paradise Lost” It was at the prestigeous Williamsburg Art and Historicical Center. I was invited to show after one of the shows poets did a piece on my piece, the director liked it and asked me to send the piece a week before the opening. So because some artist did a piece on my piece of art I was invited to show art. *** MONIQUE ORTIZ (A.K.A.C.O.D.): I am “captured” naked in about 60 or so pieces of artwork each week! When I’m not working on my music or my own art, I work as a figure model for art schools and several independent artists. There are few things as liberating and fun as being naked in front of a bunch of overly active creative thinkers! *** BRUCE ALLEN (The Doom Buggies/ Butt’er Crunch): In college, probabaly around 1986 or so, I had my friend, syndicated cartoonist Keith Knight (K Chronicles/ Think) draw me as if I were a character in his comic strip. He drew a band with me playing guitar, our friend Pierre playing bass, and himself with a microphone. About a year later that picture came to life when we all formed Butt’er Crunch, a 7-piece funk band with a DJ, heavy guitars, three rappers (including me on some songs). It was my first band and one of the first rap-rock bands in the Boston area. I still have the picture somewhere. *** SARAH RABDAU (Sarah Rabdau and Self-Employed Assassins/ The Fast Easy Women): Yes. Every song Ad Frank has written since 2005. Lolita: Sarah, were you that “other woman” at the Glass Slipper when I was dating Ad two years ago?

MUSICAL CHAIRS

Rita: Those in search of the foot that perfectly fits the glass slipper are like those looking for the perfect new member for their band—or a country searching for an inspirational leader. All hail Obama! I can’t believe the situation he’s been voted into—the white man creates a big mess and leaves it for the black man to clean up. Bush—you’re a greedy liar, a truly unpatriotic American in that you have soiled our name around the globe. I hope you serve time for the crimes you have committed against humanity. By the FBI’s definition, you are a terrorist. And when are all Americans going to wake up and realize this financial mess we’re in gets worse every day that the money-sucking war in the Middle East continues. Obama, please stand up to the war machine and correct the United States’ standing in this world. Go back to the days of speaking softly and carrying a big stick. A threat is worse than an execution. Lolita: Whom are you threatening to execute? Rita: I’m sorry; I strayed a little from the subject at hand. I believe I was about to mention the movement of member in bands. Here we go… TIM MADDEN (Desolation Bells) is playing drums with THE FREEWAYS. *** JIM HAGGERTY (x-The Gravy) has a new band with GRAHAM TICHY (guitar), IAN CARLTON (vocals), and JEFF MICHAEL (drums), called Rocky Velvet. *** Drummer JEFF CLARKE has joined THE SUN LEE SUNBEAM. The band is looking for a guitarist now. You can contact them through myspace. *** Members of GATSBY have formed THE LONGWALLS. *** BLACKBOARD NAILS have developed out of BABY STRANGE and have already toured the UK. *** MONIQUE ORTIZ has a fresh band called MONIQUE ORTIZ that enlists help from ROB HULSMAN on drums and STEVE BREMAN on backing vocals, bass, and baritone guitar (x-Shiner Jones). *** ERIC SCHMIDER has a big band now that includes FAITH SOLOWAY on keys, PAUL AHLSTRAND on sax, AARON GELB on sax, MARK BERNEY on trumpet, PETE BOOLOS on guitar, JOE KLUMPUS on bass, and JEFFERSON DAVIS on drums. *** THE ALMIGHTY TERRIBLES include members of THE COFFIN LIDS. *** Not that they joined the band, but WALTER SICKERT and EDRIE (both of Walter Sickert & the Army of Broken Toys) sang on the WHAT TIME IS IT MR FOX? new CD. Lolita: I saw the Mr. Fox band recently and really liked them. I think their leader, BRIAN KING, may have a thing for me. Now, Rita, don’t you go telling him any nasty anecdotes about me.

TELL ME ABOUT BOSTON

STATE OF THE SCENE