ALL GOING OUT TOGETHER

ONLINE-ONLY
JUST FOR MARCH

Rita: Welcome to our annual March online-only issue. It’s a great time of year to jumpstart the old computer head over to thenoise-boston.com and read about the starving artists who continue to entertain you under the most grueling situations. Lolita: I’m so excited about how exhilarating this winter has been. I don’t think I’ve ever done this much shoveling, and it’s the first time I’ve ever had to scrape ice, six inches thick, off a roof. Rita: Why didn’t you get your boyfriend to do that? Lolita: Well, he had a gig and then he was tired and then he was hungry and then he wanted more of you know what. Rita: Wouldn’t it be fun to have a Mr. Fixit boyfriend who does all the work that you have no idea how to do? My bedroom phone jack hasn’t been operating for a couple of months. I wish someone would just come over and hook me up. Lolita: Maybe you need to invent a bio-mechanical boyfriend who can be programmed to fill your needs. Rita: I think this item would sell. Let’s see if our friends have any ideas for other inventions. Lolita: Good idea, I think I’ll email them so I don’t have to stand on the corner of Mark Sandman Square freezing my butt off. HEY LOOK. THE CAPS KEY IS STUCK. CAN WE GET SOMEONE TO FIX THIS? T MAX: WHAT’S THE PROblem? It wasn’t broken. Lolita: Maybe you should stick around and help us more. Do you have any email addresses I COULD USE TO ASK THE QUESTION OF THE MONTH—OH LOOK, THE CAPS KEY IS STUCK AGAIN. T MAX: YOU JUST HAVE TO hit it again and it fixes itself. Lolita: Okay. Can you stand there and hit it when it gets stuck? Where’s Joel’s email? I heard he like Peeps. He’s such a nice man. There we go… email sent. Now just sit back and wait to hear what inventions are on the minds of our friendly rockers.

Rita: Ten minutes later, Joel’s is in our inbox with an invention he’d like to see… JOEL SIMCHES (Count Zero/Axemunkee): I want my Jetcar! We were promised that in the 21st century we'd all have one! Well, where is it? *** ANDERSON MAR (Dark Sky Productions/ Paul Green School of Rock): A car that runs on piss. Drunk men could make themselves useful by filling up everyone's tanks after last call at the local neighborhood dive bar, and we would no longer have to worry about the price of gas being higher than Courtney Love! *** VELKRO (POWERMAN 5000): I think it's time for new social website features to be created: for example, a highly interactive one that uses the power of bots, eBay, Craigslist, Google ads, and case-based reasoning to monitor people’s blogs, comments, and private messages for the good of mankind that brings people, their dreams and needs together. For instance, someday I envision a world where you can blog about how you need a new muffler for your car but can't afford the price you got from your mechanic, so as soon as you click "post" on your blog, a background bot contacts every mechanic shop in your town via an eBay-style job bidding widget, hopefully connecting you to whomever submits the lowest bid. I see it working for business, housing, job searches, and even dating. I think it's easier to blog about your problems then it is to go out and do something about it, so this feature would improve a lot of people’s lives. *** ANDY MILK (the Vital Might): This one is easy. Teleportation. While I love hours in the car with my bandmates driving nine hours to Pittsburgh, everything about touring would be better if at least PART of it could be teleportation. Instead of fast food three times a day, you could pop home for a healthy meal. Forget something at the practice space? ZAP. Can't miss your mom's birthday? ZAP. Need a shower to wash off the Jello? ZAP. No one believes me it'll happen in the next 100 years. People 100 years ago would shit their pants if they saw what we could do now. *** BRIAN OWENS (The Rampage Trio): I spend a lot of time on the road and there's nothing worse than getting behind someone in their car who is on a cell phone conference call to Iceland. Don't get me wrong, I'll love people from Iceland. Especially since they’re passing out Omega 3 pills like orange sunshine. I propose that someone invent a cell-phone-in-use detector device that will warn me what cars are up ahead that I should steer clear from. That would contribute greatly to helping me clean up my use of vulgar language as well as giving my middle digits a rest. Oh yeah, and a guitar shaped PEZ dispenser wouldn't be bad either. Whatever costs less. *** JON MACEY (Fox Pass/ Urban Caravan): I would like a contraption that could bring to life any image from the past. You place the headset on and you become completely immersed in a virtual reality. Then you can conjure up a memory and relive the moment, even in slo-mo if you choose, with all senses engaged. What would I do with such a device? Well, it would have nothing to do with sex.... *** JONATHAN ULMAN (Common Thrill): If I could wish for something to be invented, besides the obvious cure for cancer, I think I would like to have a music player embedded in my head that would play music based on my mood at the time. I seem to always find myself in situations where if only the perfect song were playing in my head, the whole setting of the event would be that much more powerful. I mean seriously, how many times do you wish Keith Sweat’s "Twisted" were playing in your head when making moves on someone? *** JOE COUGHLIN (the Noise): A machine that plays clear images and sound from your head, because I have THE craziest dreams in the world. People freak out when I just describe them, they're that intense. The size and scope of these things dwarf any special effects or whatever by light years. I know I'd make millions charging people to see this stuff. *** JAY ALLEN (Jay Allen & the Arch Criminals): As a child of the ’60s and ’70s I feel I was legitimately promised flying cars by the turn of the century. They are now at least 10 years overdue, at least according to the Jetsons, the Hanna-Barbera version of Nostradamus. Lolita: I guess flying cars are the most sought-after invention among our friends. Rita: Wouldn’t a small airplane serve as a flying car? JAY ALLEN: No, everyone would have a flying car and that would be your main mode of transit. Small planes are still very exclusive and only get you airport to airport. How do you get from the airport to where you have to go? Why, the flying car of course. Lolita: Then we’d have to have a new expression for a hitchhiker for flying cars. In fact—the term flying car has to go. Can we come up with something more hi-tech sounding?

NEWS THAT FLAPS

Lolita: How ’bout we call the flying car our “personal trajectory transport”? Rita: That’s what’s wrong with modern terminology. What did the word “car” mean before automobiles existed? Nothing. What we name the flying car doesn’t have to explain the invention so precisely. How ’bout something like a “flap.” Lolita: Okay, I like that. I can flap over to see you at 3:00. Rita: While Lolita is flapping, here is the latest local rock news… The 8^th Annual Independent Music Awards announced that MARTIN SEXTON won in the Live Performance Album category for his career-spanning retrospective CD entitled Solo; DAN ZANES (x-Del Fuegos) took top honors in the Children’s Album category with Nueva York. *** The Iguana Music Fund and the Passim Folk Music & Cultural Center (the legendary club where Bob Dylan and Joan Baez got their starts) gave THREE DAY THRESHOLD an award acknowledging the band’s musical achievements. *** ANGELA SAWYER has opened Weirdo Records (844 Mass Ave., Central Square, Cambridge). *** P.A.'s is proud to announce the addition of JEN GUTHRIE to the staff as the new booking manager! *** Clear Conscience Cafe and booker ADAM SHERMAN ended their working relationship. *** USA Today included Irma Thomas's version of the WHAT TIME IS IT MR. FOX song "Cold Rain" in their top Grammy-nominated playlist. *** EPILEPTIC DISCO, the band that got a lot of folks pissed about their name, played their reunion at Church on Saturday, February 21, 2009. *** Mr. Inappropriate Productions gave AD FRANK a stern talking to when Ad changed change his name to MC wid da Flava. After the talk Mr. Flava agreed to switch back to his original name—the one that we frequently confuse with Plus Hotdog. *** AMANDA PALMER (the Dresden Dolls) continues to circle the globe with success in every port. Lately she’s involved with ninja ukulele appearances. *** THE UPPER CRUST appear on the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson (CBS) on Monday, 3/16 at 12:35 AM (which is actually Tuesday morning if you want to get technical). *** AJDA THE TURKISH QUEEN is touring with MARTIN BISI (producer of the Dresden Dolls, Swans, Ginger Baker and hundreds of others) as his backup vocalist. *** WZBC (90.3 FM) programming is now archived online for two weeks. You can access the mp3's and links to the corresponding playlists at http://zbconline.com. *** THE SOUND MUSEUM celebrates its 25 anniversary—watch for at least one celebratory show in May at the Magic Room in Brighton. *** While on tour heading south THE ERIC BAYLIES BAND’s mini school bus caught fire and had to be scrapped. The band had to rent a van that they couldn’t afford for the next two weeks. *** ANNGELLE WOOD is working on a future show for Boston Emissions of favorite cover songs by local bands. *** Tribute band AGE AGAINST THE MACHINE recorded an original song for WWE wrestler Jack Swaggar and he became champ. The song, “Get on Your Knees,” was played in arenas all over the world, then YouTube, then national TV; then it was released on Columbia Records and debuted at number one on Billboard’s soundtrack chart (it’s at number 11 in the top 200). Lolita: I guess that kind of excellent track record is what it takes for a song to become a hit these days.

WHO’S HI-TECH?

Rita: Hey Lolita! Still want something more hi-tech than an airplane? Go find out who has that hi-tech knack. Text all the people you know who are up on the latest hi-tech gadgets—see what they have. Lolita: I’m right on it… MARYBETH MAES (Marybeth Maes): I love my GPS! I figured out how to get it to swear! I saved my home address in my favorites as a swear-word, (rather than "home," as that is so boring) and it announces that I am 300 feet from ^*&!@&* on the right! It's a riot. *** JAMES LOCKRIDGE (bigheavyworld.com): My 1988 4Runner does 70 up my mountain in snow. Technology can't help me—I'm all set. *** LUCRETIA X. MACHINA (Lucretia's Daggers): I’m still using my 10-year-old desktop, telephone landline, and just starting to listen to online radio, my "hi-techness" consists of writing emails to my webmasters (bassist Odetta Mo and videographer Sam among them) with instructions of how to edit LD's website. I'm good at editing and adding code to the LD MySpace and doing web searches, however. Eh, I'm all about the email. *** JIMMY HUGHES (Turtle Ambulance): We use Christmas lights in our shows... also I have a lot of RAM. *** KIER BYRNES (Three Day Threshold): I'm not very hi-tech but our drummer Eric is. In addition to being a walking Mr. Gadget, he's a ham radio operator. When we go on the road, our truck looks like a scared porcupine because of all his radio antennas popping out of it. *** WILL DAILEY (Will Dailey): It has been four years but I still think checking my email on my cell phone is incredibly hi-tech. Other than that I hacked my iPhone, used it for two years then sold it at a profit online. I felt high from that. *** DAMIAN DAVID (4" Stud): I'm the "hi-techiest" with this phone that now I can take pictures, text the ladies, call my bookie, play poker with Shannon Elizabeth (seriously), watch my diet, quit smoking, check my calendar, email family, access eBay, check my stocks, pay bills and parking tickets, see who won, level a picture frame, find the best route to the packy store, and look at porn while bored at church... of course it's set to silent so I'm not rude. *** MIKE MALONE (Orb Mellon): I'm really just an analog guy in a digital world. That said, I'm sort of an unfortunate Crackberry addict as well. *** DARRON BURKE (Makeshift Studio/ Blanketeer): My best friend Mark calls me Mr. Technical. As a kid I took everything apart. Now, as an adult, I can put things together! One of my jobs is building microphones. I service and rebuild all of my recording studio gear. I'm fastidious about keeping drum hardware torqued-up and tight. Lolita: I’m the same about my posterior software—it’s always soft to the touch but tight as a drum. Just the way my men like it.

MUSICAL CHAIRS

Rita: As Miss Flabby Ass tries to impress you with her imagination, I’ll give you the nuts and bolts that make up fresh bands—I’m talking about the members of newly formed bands. JESSE GALLAGHER (Apollo Sunshine) has gathered COLLIN McRAE (violin), CHRISTOPHER LIER (trumpet), and PAUL DILLEY (upright bass) to form the JESSE GALLAGHER QUARTET. *** FINNY MOORE (x-Victory at Sea/ Robots) is playing solo now. *** SUMMERDUCKS includes members of NIGHT RALLY, TINY AMPS, and THE COMMON COLD. *** JENNY DEE & THE DEELINQUENTS are JENNY DEE (vocals), ED VALAUSKAS (bass), PHIL AIKEN (keys), ERIC SAULNIER (guitar), TONY GODDESS (guitar), ERIC ANDERSON (drums), and REBECCA DANGORA and AIMEE WEAKLEY (backing vocals). *** TERRY ADAMS (NRBQ) has a new band called THE TERRY ADAMS ROCK & ROLL WHEAT HORNS. *** PAT O’CONNELL has joined CHANDLER TRAVIS PHILHARMONIC. *** Cellist KAREN LANGLIE (wife of TWINK) has a solo project with an experimental/ electronic feel to it. She calls it WISTERIAX. *** ROCK CITY CRIME WAVE played their last show on 2/6/09. *** BIKINIRADIO includes members of THE MOTION SICK and THE IN OUT. Lolita: The last time I wore a radio as a bikini I was escorted off the beach… by the handsomest surfer dude.

FAVORITE CLOTHES

Rita: Many people know that Lolita’s radio is one of her favorite pieces of clothing. But not everyone is that adventurous. Here’s what some other folks told us was their favorite piece of clothing. ED SYMKUS (Community Newspaper Company): I love my shirt (with a nod to Donovan Leitch). *** MONIQUE ORTIZ (Monique Ortiz): My favorite piece of clothing is my red motorcycle jacket. It's older than I am and I'll wear it until it falls apart. *** NEIL SIMMONS (the Living Sea): My security blanket. I'm kind of like Linus, only I'm 30 years old, not 6. *** LINDA VIENS (Angeline/ SuperPeople): My favorite piece of clothing is my full-length fluffy black fake fur dress… very Morticia Adamsish. *** STEVE "ACE" McARDLE (Skull Hammer): It's a toss-up between my 30-06 bullet belt I got from an old ex-army friend or my studded leather guitar strap I made from another strap, an old belt and a five-inch saw blade. *** JESSE VON KENMORE (the New Allibis): Baroness Von Kenmore’s tight gray business suit—in a pile on the bedroom floor. *** AJDA THE TURKISH QUEEN (Black Fortress of Opium): My fave piece of clothing is a very swanky faux fur coat I got in Turkey after my mom died. It has a blinged-out belt buckle and zipper. Brian Jones was my fashion inspiration for it. Now I just need furry boots to match it! *** BILLY CARL MANCINI (Bird Mancini): I've got a pair of vintage navy blue Levi’s cords that are so comfortable and so soft. I've been wearing them for so many years that I can no longer be seen in public with them. They are beginning to wear so thin the cords are disappearing. Soon there will be no pants at all. Now that will be extra comfort! *** MIKE PIEHL (Reverse): My dickie. *** ERIC WELSH (ChillHouse Studios): My favorite garments are these black hoodies I got while touring with the Pixies. One of them is really thick like a winter jacket! *** RAY MASON (Ray Mason Band/ Lonesome Brothers): It’s a tossup between my NRBQ 35th Anniversary Reunion Concert T-shirt and my red Converse hi-tops. Are shoes considered clothing? Either way they're both essential wear! *** RUBY BIRD (Bird Mancini/Urban Caravan): I wear my black cowboy boots with jeans, shorts, skirts, even formal dresses... everything! *** TIM DINNEEN (Singuya): The hat. It’s one of the most expressive pieces of clothing you can wear. It tells people if you’re a sports fan (baseball hat), a cowboy (cowboy hat), a pretty boy (a kangol hat), slick Rick (fedora), a little more down and dirty (trucker hat), a hunter (boonie hat) and the list goes on. Not to mention that within each hat style you have an even larger customization combination. The hat you wear on any given night lets people know the kinda mood you’re in especially when you put on your drinking hat. Lolita: Note to readers: make sure your drinking hat is waterproof. Take it from me—I ruined my dress when the wine seeped right through my knitted drinking hat.

LIVE SHOWS

Rita: Well it’s time to put on your gig hat and get out and see one of your favorite local bands. Here are some shows we recommend… Every Wednesday in March DENNIS BRENNAN holds residency at the Lizard Lounge. *** THE VIDEO GAME ORCHESTRA (guess what they play) hits the stage on Thursday, 3/5, at Berklee. The 90-member VGO is a 45-piece orchestra, 40-piece choir, and 5-piece rock band, with players from over 20 countries who are students at Berklee, Boston University, Boston Conservatory, and New England Conservatory. *** WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE destroys the Midway on Saturday, 3/7. *** On Sunday, 3/8, DESTROY BABYLON brings their dub rawkin’ reggae style to Great Scott. *** THE PRIME MOVERS’ final gig that we reported would happen on 1/16 didn’t happen—the new final gig is Friday, 3/13, at the Dilboy VFW in Davis Sq.—it’s CAM ACKLAND’s birthday bash. *** On that same night THE BIG DISAPPOINTMENTS play right before the newest member of the Noise Hall of Fame, RICK BERLIN, at the Midway. *** THE REAL KIDS bring old school Boston rock to the Cantab on Saturday, 3/14. *** Same night THROWING MUSES are downstairs at the Middle East. *** ALLOY ORCHESTRA performs live to the silent film The Last Command at Somerville Theatre on Saturday, 3/14, at 8:00 pm. This is a Boston premiere. *** Dance to SOUL-LE-LU-JAH on Saturday, 3/20, (as you can on every Saturday) at Zuzu. *** Last month’s cover girl, SARAH RABDAU provides the entertainment with her Self-Employed Assassins at the Middle East on Monday, 3/23. *** On Saturday, 3/28, JOHN POWHIDA INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT de-ices its landing strip at T.T. the Bear’s. *** Our old friend BERTRAND LAWRENCE (husband of SUZI LEE of Mardi Gras/Slide fame) brings in his friends to play blues from France at Johnny D’s on the last day of the month, Tuesday, 3/31.

RIP: LAUREL BOWMAN from the bands Proletariat, Lumen, and Keemun died on 1/26/09.
RIP: JEFF SPENCER, lead singer of the Memphis Rockabilly Band, passed away on 2/11/09.
RIP: JEANNE CONNOLLY, bartender/band booker from T.T. the Bear’s, died on 2/16/09.

I’M NOT FRIGID, I’M JUST COLD

Rita: I love to complain about the snow, sleet, and bitter cold, but the truth is that winter helps us experience the passing of time and eventually encourages passion and surges of energy for new ideas and growth. Lolita: And every winter, in our first issue of the new year, we look back at the previous year and applaud the accomplishments of those who have followed through with their growth and ideas. Rita: Elsewhere in the issue we devote space to picks for Top Tens in many categories put together by Noise contributors. But we’d like to hear from more than just our staff. So, let’s get everyone here to sit around in a big circle and have each person take a turn to talk about the top three of anything pertaining to local rock of 2008.

CIRCLE OF TOP THREE

Lolita: I know everyone has a person they’d like to sit next to, or someone they don’t want to sit next to, but please people! Let’s just get this together. Nick, will you give us your top three before a fight breaks out on the other side of the room? NICK BLAKEY (The In Out): Top Three of 2008: Album: Rick Berlin Old Stag; Song: the Dirty Truckers “So So Numb”; Live show: the Figgs/the Rudds, Church 3/1/08. ***MISS LYN (Boston Groupie News): Top Three Guys in Tight Pants: Joey Boy (Red Invasion); Rick Barton (Everybody Out!); Cam Ackland (the Prime Movers). ***KEVIN PATEY (Combat Jack Management): Top Three Shows of 2008: Darkbuster Hometown Throwup—eight shows in eight days! Showcase show with Jason Bennett & the Resistance, Have Nots, Swaggerin’ Growlers, and Chris Keating. New Collisions at Middle East. *** PETE SUTTON (Temper): Top Three things I look forward to seeing local music: (1) Beer in a plastic cup. (2) Band that’s only been together a couple of months saying, “we’re gonna play a new one now.” (3) Smokin’ outside with authentic rock dudes. *** SCOTT ANDERSON (Cemetery Superfly): Top Three reasons bands play live shows: (1) They love showing up early for soundcheck and waiting three hours to play while the sound guy is home sleeping! (2) The exercise they get from moving their equipment at shows from the hallway to the bathroom to the stage to the street is better than Buns of Steel! (3) Any moment could be a Def Leppard moment on stage... assuming there is a stage! *** MIKE CANN (BostonFreedomRally.com): Top Three Music Acts That Won Massachusetts Decriminalized Cannabis in 2008. (1) Graveyard BBQ. When do the Boston Police and High Times agree on anything? Graveyard BBQ crowned wildest set at the 2008 Rally. The NC17 rated party that working class moms, hipsters, stoners, strippers, hardcore kids, and cops love. (2) Superpower. Dave Tree wrote “God Grows Grass” with his old act, he’s never stopped supporting the sweet leaf. (3) Prospect Hill. Made it okay to support Question 2 in the burbs. Pushed the kids out of the malls, into the voting booths. Adam sings to the pretty female fans, we win. *** CARLENE BAROUS (Din/ Temper): Top Three socks-knockin’ live performances 2008: the Buckners at O’Brien’s in December; MOWE (My Own Worst Enemy) at Church in June; and Amanda Palmer at Symphony Hall in June. *** JOE COUGHLIN (the Noise): (1) Mission of Burma is STILL at it! (2) Men & Volts are revamped, playing out again, and doing stuff from their catalog that was never performed live before. (3) WMBR, in general, and for streaming all shows online for two weeks after airing (www.wmbr.org). *** SAMMY MIAMI (HoundStone): Best Vocalist: Ward Hayden. Best guitarist: Danny Zug. Best radio show: Bay State Rock with Carmelita. *** MR. CURT (…Ensemble/ Urban Caravan): Nothing is absolute, but here are three of my fave newest CDs released by localites in 2008: (1) Rick Berlin: Old Stag; (2) The Accident That Led Me to the World: The Island Gospel; (3) Patty Larkin: Watch the Sky. Runner-ups: Sal Baglio: The Gift; Jon Macey & Steve Gilligan: “Everything Under the Sun”; Sgt. Maxwell’s Peace Chorus: The Military EP; Glenn Williams: Freely Breathing; Chillgroove: Juju; Folksonomy: Trepanning; Eksi Ekso: I Am Your Bastard Wings; Amanda Palmer: Who Killed Amanda Palmer?; and LowBudget Records instrumental sampler: A Chosen Phew! *** PETER RINNIG (QRST’s): Top live band: the Neighborhoods. They can play better then anybody—any age—anytime! Best selling T-shirt (from QRST’s): the Rat. We sell more Rat shirts then any other T-shirt affiliated with music in Boston. I honestly do not think that many people have been to the Rat in its heyday. But I could be mistaken. Rita: Thousands of people passed through the doors of the Rat in its heyday. But everyone likes to honor a lost iconic club. Long live the Rat. Long live the Abbey, Bunratty’s, the Underground, Jacks, Jumpin’ Jack Flash, Chet’s Last Call, Down Under, Johnny D’s (in Allston), Streets, Green Street Station, fill in your favorite closed club. Lolita: You don’t have to wait for a club to close to honor it. There are many clubs today right around Boston that deserve praise—the Middle East, the Cantab, Johnny D’s, the Midway, Great Scott, Church, the Paradise, the Milkyway, the Lizard Lounge, T.T. the Bear’s, Harper’s Ferry, Toad, All Asia, O’Briens, Copperfields, the Alchemist, Bill’s Bar, Atwoods, Club Passim, PA’s Lounge, Sally O’Brien’s, the Precinct, Zuzu, Matt Murphy’s—and that’ just the ones in town I can think of off the top of my head. Support these businesses and others like them because they support live music. Now let’s move onto the news of today—the stuff that becomes part of tomorrow’s history.

NEWS

Rita: It takes time but the mainstream population always comes around, sometimes very slowly, to recognizing the heroes of the underground. On 1/5/09 Boston Garage Band Radio was launched by JEFF ROYDS. It’s an online radio station that plays music by Massachusetts’ bands 24 hours a day. Go to bostongaragebands.com. We’re going to tell you a lot more about Jeff in March 2009—in our online-only issue. Lolita: March is traditionally our one online-only issue during he year. *** BANG CAMARO played Late Night with Conan O’Brien on 1/7/09. *** WAR TAPES “Dreaming of You” was played on the New Year’s Eve Special with Carson Daly while he talked about New Year’s Eve around the world. *** CHRIS TRAPPER’s “Least You’re Breathing” (from Til the Last Leaf Falls) was aired on an episode of teen drama Privileged on the CW network. *** Boston Music Spotlight has named ELI “PAPERBOY” REED & THE TRUE LOVES their 2008 Band of the Year. *** THE EVERYDAY VISUALS are the only band from New England listed to play the South by Southwest (SXSW) Music Conference and Festival, scheduled to take place Wednesday, 3/18 through 3/22, 2009 in Austin, Texas. *** S.R.O. recorded a live TVM performance and interview with THE VITAL MIGHT at Mohegan Sun Casino’s Wolf Den. The show is set to air in February on the New England CBS affiliate. *** THE DRESDEN DOLLS played at the 9:30 Club in Washington, DC, on 1/20/09 to celebrate the inauguration of Barack Obama. *** JOSHUA BELL, one of the world’s finest violinists, is not a local musician but before his Boston appearance where tickets cost $100 apiece, the Washington Post did a social experiment and had him play in the subway incognito. People rushed through their day giving him little time or appreciation not realizing what they were passing up. The lesson is to slow down and appreciate the things around you. Boston flourishes with musical talent. Take some in soon—it’s good for your health and will socially activate you. *** PETER C. JOHNSON has put together a CD (1978-1981) that combines his old A&M and CBS releases. Proceeds from sales benefit the Mark Sandman Project. *** The Boston Music Trail (funded by Ernie Boch Jr.’s Music Drives Us Foundation) is being launched by the Music Museum Of New England (MM/ONE) to honor sites significant to the musical history of the city, and to provide visitors with information about them and directions where to find them. *** JIM GILBERT (the Sheila Devine) lost his 1996 Sunburst American Standard Fender Jazz bass with a Warmuth replacement neck (no serial number) when his rehearsal space (at the Beacon Street Sound Museum, 2nd floor) was robbed. Also lost in the theft were a drum kit, amps, and some mixing gear. *** The editorial staff of Performer magazine (all three editions, including Northeast Performer) were laid off on Friday, 12/19/08. The magazine will now have one national print release and three on-line versions for each issue. Lolita: The economic climate is trying all of us. Be aware of where you spend your money. We’ve said it many times in these pages—support the small businesses in your neighborhood, the ones that support you, and the ones that care about the same things you care about.

BLACK HISTORY

Rita: Speaking of things we care about, February is Black History Month—let’s find out what our fellow rockers think is important about this tribute to black history. Go ahead, Ken, you can start. KEN CMAR (Wonderdrug Records): One of my musical heroes is Sly Stone, and I think he doesn’t get quite the credit he deserves. Not only was he an amazing songwriter and performer, but he put together the first really integrated band that was accepted by the mainstream. That’s a pretty big deal. Dance to the music! *** BRIAN KING (What Time Is It, Mr. Fox?): Right now. This moment. We now have the first black president. This importance of this is beyond measure. Not only significant in the resurrection and progression of our hopes and ideals, but also as a symbol. And symbols speak to the unconscious, to places untouched by the intellect, to the core soul. At this foundation there has been an enormous change for our country as a whole. And in the same breath, I think of the loss of someone who always reached that place in her music and planned to sing at the inauguration of Barack Obama. I celebrate and grieve the great Odetta, who simply was music. *** WILLIAM DWYER (Neon God): We celebrate Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King Jr., Malcolm X, Medgar Evers, Dick Gregory, Oprah Winfrey, Barak Obama and many more amazing people. Musically, the list is endless and grows each year. Billie Holiday, Robert Johnson, Nina Simone, Nat King Cole, Aretha Franklin, Miles Davis, Jimi Hendrix, and on and on. Comic genius from Bill Cosby, Eddie Murphy, and Dave Chappelle to name just a few. It is great to have an official month to celebrate black history, although, in many ways, I celebrate it every day. *** TIM MUNGENAST (Tim Mungenast & His Preexisting Conditions): When I was kid, I did a book report on the scientist/inventor Dr. George Washington Carver. I am still greatly impressed by his gentle courage and tenaciousness as he fought his way through Jim Crow’s bullshit and became a renowned man of science. *** TOM ARABIA (AMP): In these historic times of crisis and hope, while the economy crumbles and wars in Afghanistan, Iraq, and Gaza rage on horrifically and futilely; while the first black president of a country built by slaves on the one hand appoints noxious political cretins to his cabinet recycled from Bush and Clinton who created the current disasters, but on the other hand supports the inspiring and victorious occupation of the illegally closed Republic Windows & Doors plant in Chicago by mostly immigrant workers in the UE; while entire countries are going bankrupt, Iceland, and others are in mass political upheaval, Greece; for Black History Month and the entire new epoch unfolding before our eyes, we must first and foremost recall one of the great founders of the struggle for black and working class emancipation in this country, Frederick Douglass, and his utterly vital maxim: “If there is no struggle there is no progress. Those who profess to favor freedom, and yet depreciate agitation, are men who want crops without plowing up the ground. They want rain without thunder and lightning. They want the ocean without the awful roar of its many waters. This struggle may be a moral one; or it may be a physical one; or it may be both moral and physical; but it must be a struggle. Power concedes nothing without demand. It never did and it never will.” *** LIZ BORDEN (the Liz Borden Band/ the Liz & Sean Show): I think black history is important because people gave their lives and worked very hard so we would acknowledge that very important part of our history. People marched, crossed lines, and lost their lives for equal rights. The civil rights movement is one of the most important and exciting parts of our history. Martin Luther King, Rosa Parks, Malcolm X, and W.E.B. Du Bois, to name a few, are all very important figures. There are so many other people that took stands and would not back down for human rights including college students Vivian Malone and James Hood. In Alabama they had to be escorted into a university by federal marshals with death threats against them just to get an equal education. The movement refers to the reform movements in the United States aimed at abolishing racial discrimination against African Americans and restoring suffrage in Southern states. Without there is a good chance we would not have President Obama leading our country. *** ERIC AUSTIN (Three Day Threshold/ the Rumbletones): As a modern popular music musician, no matter how time-worn this point has become, it is important for me to reflect on the significant contribution to American popular music from the African-American community. The influence of their music touches just about every aspect of American popular music. Rita: Whites typically lifted black music, stripped it of its soul, sanitized it, and sold it to the mainstream. The best early example of this was Pat Boone doing Little Richard’s “Tutti Frutti.” Lolita: Wasn’t Pat Boone in Little Richard’s band? Rita: You fool—Little Richard would have tossed Pat Boone out of his band as quick as he could sing, “Tutti Frutti, loose bootie” (the original lyrics).

MUSICAL CHAIRS

Lolita: Well, here in the local music scene, bands are changing members all the time. Here’s what we picked up lately… JIM FOSTER x-Bound.4.Venus / the DeNiros) is playing Irish folk music with THE BARLEYMEN and has concluded that Irish pubs have cleaner bathrooms than rock clubs. *** Multi-instrumentalist JEFF CLARKE has joined THE SUN LEE SUNBEAM on drums. *** Fans of THE RED TELEPHONE might be interested in BIRDWATCHERS OF AMERICA, seeing that both MATT HUTTON and PAT McDONALD are in the band. *** JESSE von KENMORE never stops adding new bands to his résumé. He’s joined with DREW SUXX (x-Lost City Angels/Ducky Boys) to form THE NEW ALINIS. *** ADAM ABRAMS (Aeolian Race) has joined SUGAR SNOW. *** BRITT LIGHTNING (Jaded) has teamed up with SAMMI MIAMI and other former Shööt the Möön members to form HOUNDSTONE. *** Guitarist CHRIS BRAT has joined THE SPOILERS. *** THE PRIME MOVERS (Mach II) have decided to call it quits after their initial reunion six years ago. Their final show was on 1/16 at the Middle East. Lolita: Well, now the Movers have set up the possibility of a re-reunion.

VISUAL ART

Rita: While Lolita adds pages to the local music history book, I want to examine the diversity of our musicians. I asked a bunch of locals to tell me who are musicians that create the best visual art. Here’s a sampling of my findings… MARK LIND (… & the Unloved): Without a doubt that would be my bandmate, Douglas Sullivan, from Ducky Boys. The guy is talented in so many ways, but visual arts is probably his best area. He actually makes replica movie props for fun. He’s designed and built several replicas of the Proton Packs from Ghostbusters and sold them to other collector nerds. He designs and builds his own elaborate Halloween costumes that put the professionals to shame. He actually helped design a part of a replica light saber that ended up being mass-produced and sold in places like Spencer Gifts after that abortion of a new Star Wars trilogy was made. In addition to all of this he does web sites, CD layouts, and oil paintings. I have one of his original paintings hanging in my bedroom and every unlucky lady that gets to see it always asks where it came from. *** GARY WALEIK (Big Dipper): Bill Goffrier is certainly among the best local visual artists. And what range: watercolors of tranquil New England scenes, pastels of Wichita architecture, oils of naked ex-girlfriends, depictions of alien spacecraft and the lovable creatures that fly them, even the fabulous cover of Supercluster: the Big Dipper Anthology (Merge, 2008). He can do it all! *** LEXI KAHN (LowBudgetSuperhero.com): I would love to have one of Asa Brebner’s pieces on my wall. He can do some excellent pen-and-ink that rivals Shel Silverstein, but I love when he builds stunning wall sculptures. He’s like a modern day Bosch, only his unique garden of earthly delights is constructed from old guitars, toys, and found objects. Joey Pesce is also really talented, go to pescesculpture.com and look up the piece called Spirit and Minions, which I think might be presently hanging from the ceiling of River Gods. *** TAD OVERBAUGH (The Kickbacks/ x-Dirty Truckers): John Brookhouse’s artwork makes your eyes crackle and pop with joy. Always inspiring. *** CHRIS BRAT (the Throwaways/ the Acro-brats): Well, I like all of Ian’s stuff that he’s done for flyers, CD art, and all that. DeBarge does great work over at Stingray, so he’d be another obvious choice. Paul Delano’s clever with the Photoshop skills and my boy Swid has been responsible for impressive graphics in wicked popular video games. But just the other week I drew a really kickass rendition of the Aerosmith logo with a Sharpie on a napkin at the Cellar, so I’m gonna have to give it up to myself. *** WILL DAILEY (Will Dailey): I am addicted to Rose Polenzani’s YouTube videos. They are creative, fun, musically astounding, and she keeps them coming. I am more addicted to them than dark chocolate. *** MATT HUTTON (Birdwatchers of America): Well, Ad Frank is a work of art in and of himself—does that count? *** ANDERSON MAR (Dark Sky Productions/ Paul Green School of Rock): I would nominate Walter Sickert (… & the Army of Broken Toys) for his quirkily morbid drawings containing hearts, squids, wire trees, television-headed monsters, and grotestesque bunny rabbits. *** FRANK ROWE (CLASSIC RUINS): David Sholl from Four Piece Suit does these Ashcan School style paintings of sensuous radiators leaning against each other in the sun. Some have erections (bleeder valves) and they all look totally at ease in a yard full of other radiators. In the titles, he calls them Rads. If you think about it, people and radiators are rather similar... sometimes warm, often hard. *** RAY MASON (Ray Mason Band/ Lonesome Brothers): There’s no doubt that the answer to this question is the one and only Asa Brebner! Soulful and terrifying beauty would be an apt description of Asa’s artwork. Get some now! Lolita: Okay, Asa is the first two get more then one nod, so we’re crowing him today’s king of musical visual artists. I’ve seen his art and I have to admit, you don’t forget his pieces after seeing them.

SCENE SPLEEN

Rita: Let’s combine our visual and aural sensors and figure out what bands we’re going to see and hear live in February 2009. POWERMAN 5000 returns to Boston on Monday, 2/2, at the Middle East. *** On Wednesday, 2/4, Heavy Rotation Records presents the Dorm Sessions 6 compilation release concert at the Berklee Performance Center. *** Then on Saturday, 2/7, THE GARAGE DOGS return to the Midway. *** The unsuperstitious CHANDLER TRAVIS PHILHARMONIC dares to play at Johnny D’s on Friday the 13th. *** GIRL ON TOP may dance on your table if you go to the Cantab on Saturday, 2/14. *** On Friday, 2/20, there are two 16th annual Mardi Gras celebrations to choose from: Club Bohemia’s Mardi Gras Masquerade Ball with the Chicken Slacks at Johnny D’s, and Shaun Wolf Wortis’s Mardi Gras Ball at T.T.’s. Both are highly recommended. *** THICK AS THIEVES releases its CD at the Middle East on Saturday, 2/21. *** THE JESSE GALLAGHER QUARTET plays Zuzu on Monday, 2/23. *** THE IN OUT gets its motion goin’ at the Midway on Saturday, 2/28. Lolita: Until we meet and exchange warm hugs, be well, and find the time to rock.

Rita: This year the gift-giving holidays have new creative potential. Lolita: Yeah, with all the financial turmoil that Bush left for Obama to deal with, I’ll be lucky if I give or get one present this year. Rita: But isn’t that normal for you? You’re so friggin’ cheap—the last gift you gave me was those jeans that didn’t fit you anymore. You could have at least washed them. And don’t be whimpering about how many gifts you get—you normally get only one present—and it’s from that stalker who you encourage by leaving underwear in your mailbox. Lolita: I’ve never done that! Oh wait, that was for the new mailman. Rita: Well, even the stalker may not be able to afford a gift for you—it may be a year that you just have to reminisce about past gifts. Lolita: I think we could make a Question of the Month from this subject—like, what’s the best way to encourage a stalker to get you wonderful gifts? Rita: Yeah, that’s perfect for you, Lolita, but let’s amend it slightly to “share with us a memory you have of a holiday celebrated in December.” There’s Rick. Lolita, go get Rick to start the ball rolling.

HOLIDAY MEMORIES

Lolita: Okay. Rick, have you seen my underwear? I mean, give me a holiday memory. RICK BERLIN (self): Weatogue, CT, Christmas Eve, hung the balls ’n’ lights. Tip-toed upstairs in my flannel jammies only to hear an explosion. My dad (DICK Kinscherf) collapsed into the tree, hammered after yet another night on the town. The tree hit the floor, shattering lights ’n’ balls. Dad yelling. I smile thinking of it now, maybe I was terrified way back then. *** LINDA VIENS (Angeline/ Sgt. Maxwell’s Peace Chorus): For years I have celebrated the winter solstice with Wayne and friends, building a big fire in the fire pit; burning away the “past” by casting something into the fire (cornmeal, glitter, pieces of paper with our words) and heralding the return of the sun, and with it, new beginnings, and new hopes and dreams. *** MR. CURT (Urban Caravan): One Xmas holiday week Ms. Donna and I won a post office trip to Pasadena and the Rose Bowl parade. Totally special and weather was perfect! We decorated a postal float, cruised Los Angeles and Hollywood, visited museums, ate splendid meals, danced/sat on Santa Monica beach watching the sun go down on New Year’s Eve before a huge post office banquet, and spent New Years Day baked and fed with friends on a veranda in the hills above L.A. Phew, a person could get spoiled! *** KEN FIELD (Revolutionary Snake Ensemble/Birdsongs of the Mesozoic): A few years ago I started playing with my friend, singer/songwriter Julie Dougherty, at her long-running annual free Christmas Eve concert/sing-along at the Hawthorne Hotel in Salem. It’s not the kind of music I generally play, but it’s great fun with some great musicians. At the end one year, a somewhat frail and elderly woman came up to the stage and said “You’ve made me so very happy tonight!” I was quite moved. *** AD FRANK (The Fast Easy Women/ Lifestyle): I spent Christmas Eve 2006 at the Glass Slipper. Lolita: Thank you, Ad, for not sharing all those dirty details. I would have been so embarrassed. *** KIER BYRNES (Three Day Threshold): I know it’s not Christmas until the Christmas tree gets knocked over (at least once). This year’s Christmas should be interesting as we are headed out for a European tour the very next day, so we will be celebrating pretty hard. *** STEVE “ACE” McARDLE (Skull Hammer): I remember playing the 2005 Dougman Christmas party at the Framingham space with the Worst and watching our friends jamming until they had sweated out every ounce of booze and energy, and nearly collapsed onstage. Whatta holiday! *** BRIAN KING (What Time Is It Mr. Fox?): The December memory that sticks out most in my head, is when I was six and my mother tried, quite unsuccessfully, to explain why ghosts, witches, and jack o’lanterns were not appropriate Christmas tree decorations. To this day there is always a broom-riding witch hanging from my parents’ tree for the holidays. *** CORIN ASHLEY (The Pills): I spent Christmas of 1984 in Soviet Russia visiting churches and monasteries and other cultural sites popular with 15 year old boys. I remember being in a church for a nighttime Christmas Eve service at a huge cathedral in Zagorsk. It was so packed that one of girls in our party passed out and remained standing. She never fell over—luckily someone noticed that she was out cold. Also on that trip, I made out with a college-aged girl from New Jersey, a major accomplishment that I can only attribute to underage drinking (and it’s noted effects on girls from New Jersey). Mind you, I’m not saying she was pretty, but she was 18. Lolita: What the hell are you saying?! I was 17—and damn fine!!!

NEWS OF ROCK

Rita: While Lolita continues to lie about her age and other things, I’ll give the news that you just won’t find in other publications. ANDY MILK (The Vital Might) is running the 2009 Boston Marathon for the Dana Farber Cancer Institute. He runs the race in honor of his mother, Susan Milk, who is an 8-year breast cancer survivor. To help Andy meet his goal of raising $6000 for cancer research, go to rundfmc.org/andrewm2009. *** The Massachusetts Cannabis Reform Coalition (Mass Cann/NORML) thanks the people of Massachusetts for voting to eliminate the criminal sanctions against minor marijuana possession. *** APOLLO SUNSHINE hopped the Atlantic to Ireland where JESSE GALLAGHER retraced his family lineage in addition to rocking with the Dirty Pretty Things. *** REVOLUTIONARY SNAKE ENSEMBLE’s second CD release, Forked Tongue, is on the first round ballot Grammy nomination for Best Jazz Instrumental Album and Best Jazz Instrumental Solo. *** JADA (the only Boston band on Motown) performed the National Anthem at the Patriots/Jets game on 11/13/08.

*** CASEY DESMOND has gone all out in her new video, “Tilt Me Back.” Lolita: I swear I see some Bentmen costumes in this cinematic video. Don’t miss it—you can find it on YouTube. *** TWISTED RICO is back in town and is booking some Thursday night shows at the Cantab. His first includes CAGED HEAT’s 10th anniversary show with DANA COLLEY sitting in on sax at the Cantab on 12/18. *** The Abbey Lounge closed its doors for the last time on Wednesday 11/26. *** JEFF ROYDS (Boston Garage Bands) is launching a new Internet radio station that will play local music 24 hours a day. Go to bostongaragebands.com to find out more about this station that plans to go on air on 1/5/09. *** THE HOLLOW SOUND has been nominated for an mtvU Woodie Award: Best Music on Campus 2008, and will be featured on the MTV award show. *** MONGREL has recorded the theme song for PFG-TV (Pretty F’n Good), a weekly television series hosted by SCORCH from Manchester, NH, Rock101. PFG-TV is broadcast online and twice a week on MCAM cable TV in Manchester. *** ALEX MACRIDES, a junior at Boston Latin Academy, played his tenor sax at the White House in November ’08. He was part of the Berklee College City Music All Star Ensemble that won the prestigious Coming Up Taller award sponsored by Laura Bush. *** Big Heavy World of Burlington, VT, is holding a series of concerts to celebrate its website, bigheavyworld.com, that has been rebuilt to be used as a tool for any band interested in touring Vermont. *** Boogie Man: The Lee Atwater Story (aired on TV’s Frontline on 11/11/08) recently won a Chris Award at the Columbus International Film Festival. Director STEFAN FORBES was honored with the IDA’s Jacqueline Donnet Emerging Filmmaker Award. TIM ROBERT co-wrote the music for the film with Stefan. *** ANNA PRICE and MATT RHODES (both of the Silver Lining) are on their way to creating their second child. *** JOHN POWHIDA (…International Airport/ the Rudds) tied the knot with long-time girlfriend KATHERINE CROOM. They did it in style at the White Wedding Chapel in Las Vegas on 11/9/08. Lolita: Not only does John pick another woman to marry—when I thought I was his one-and-only—he commits the act on my birthday, just to rub it in. John you’re so mean to me—and… I love every minute of it. I just want to know, why wasn’t I a bridesmaid?

CAPTURING YOU

Rita: While Lolita pouts over her lost love, I’m going to find out who’s been captured in a song or piece of art. Let’s start with that woman who carries an axe behind her back. LIZ BORDEN (The Liz Borden Band): Having a song written about you is strange but at the same time very flattering. There have been a couple songs but I won’t kiss and tell! Okay, I will tell on one person. Bug Syphlloid/ Doug Quintal wrote a song about me. That is all I’m saying. *** DAVE TREE (SuperPower/ DrugWar): I just had art up in a show in Brooklyn. It was the 400th anniversary of John Milton author of “Paradise Lost” It was at the prestigeous Williamsburg Art and Historicical Center. I was invited to show after one of the shows poets did a piece on my piece, the director liked it and asked me to send the piece a week before the opening. So because some artist did a piece on my piece of art I was invited to show art. *** MONIQUE ORTIZ (A.K.A.C.O.D.): I am “captured” naked in about 60 or so pieces of artwork each week! When I’m not working on my music or my own art, I work as a figure model for art schools and several independent artists. There are few things as liberating and fun as being naked in front of a bunch of overly active creative thinkers! *** BRUCE ALLEN (The Doom Buggies/ Butt’er Crunch): In college, probabaly around 1986 or so, I had my friend, syndicated cartoonist Keith Knight (K Chronicles/ Think) draw me as if I were a character in his comic strip. He drew a band with me playing guitar, our friend Pierre playing bass, and himself with a microphone. About a year later that picture came to life when we all formed Butt’er Crunch, a 7-piece funk band with a DJ, heavy guitars, three rappers (including me on some songs). It was my first band and one of the first rap-rock bands in the Boston area. I still have the picture somewhere. *** SARAH RABDAU (Sarah Rabdau and Self-Employed Assassins/ The Fast Easy Women): Yes. Every song Ad Frank has written since 2005. Lolita: Sarah, were you that “other woman” at the Glass Slipper when I was dating Ad two years ago?

MUSICAL CHAIRS

Rita: Those in search of the foot that perfectly fits the glass slipper are like those looking for the perfect new member for their band—or a country searching for an inspirational leader. All hail Obama! I can’t believe the situation he’s been voted into—the white man creates a big mess and leaves it for the black man to clean up. Bush—you’re a greedy liar, a truly unpatriotic American in that you have soiled our name around the globe. I hope you serve time for the crimes you have committed against humanity. By the FBI’s definition, you are a terrorist. And when are all Americans going to wake up and realize this financial mess we’re in gets worse every day that the money-sucking war in the Middle East continues. Obama, please stand up to the war machine and correct the United States’ standing in this world. Go back to the days of speaking softly and carrying a big stick. A threat is worse than an execution. Lolita: Whom are you threatening to execute? Rita: I’m sorry; I strayed a little from the subject at hand. I believe I was about to mention the movement of member in bands. Here we go… TIM MADDEN (Desolation Bells) is playing drums with THE FREEWAYS. *** JIM HAGGERTY (x-The Gravy) has a new band with GRAHAM TICHY (guitar), IAN CARLTON (vocals), and JEFF MICHAEL (drums), called Rocky Velvet. *** Drummer JEFF CLARKE has joined THE SUN LEE SUNBEAM. The band is looking for a guitarist now. You can contact them through myspace. *** Members of GATSBY have formed THE LONGWALLS. *** BLACKBOARD NAILS have developed out of BABY STRANGE and have already toured the UK. *** MONIQUE ORTIZ has a fresh band called MONIQUE ORTIZ that enlists help from ROB HULSMAN on drums and STEVE BREMAN on backing vocals, bass, and baritone guitar (x-Shiner Jones). *** ERIC SCHMIDER has a big band now that includes FAITH SOLOWAY on keys, PAUL AHLSTRAND on sax, AARON GELB on sax, MARK BERNEY on trumpet, PETE BOOLOS on guitar, JOE KLUMPUS on bass, and JEFFERSON DAVIS on drums. *** THE ALMIGHTY TERRIBLES include members of THE COFFIN LIDS. *** Not that they joined the band, but WALTER SICKERT and EDRIE (both of Walter Sickert & the Army of Broken Toys) sang on the WHAT TIME IS IT MR FOX? new CD. Lolita: I saw the Mr. Fox band recently and really liked them. I think their leader, BRIAN KING, may have a thing for me. Now, Rita, don’t you go telling him any nasty anecdotes about me.

TELL ME ABOUT BOSTON

STATE OF THE SCENE

VOTE VOTE VOTE VOTE
Rita: Vote on Tuesday, November 4. Lolita: Vote on Tuesday, November 4. Rita: Whom you vote for is up to you, but make sure you vote for the candidates who will improve the conditions we now have. Don’t ever forget that those we elect are public servants. They are there to follow our lead. Somewhere along the line this has gotten out of whack. Imagine going to a restaurant where the wait staff purposely brought you food you didn’t order. Would you just eat it, or send it back? Too many people have been just chowing down. It’s time to send the unwanted food back and better yet, close down the restaurant. Lolita: What restaurant are we shutting down? I hope it’s not that little crepe place in Allston. Rita: Lolita, it’s just a metaphor. Lolita: Pleeese, don’t take JP Seafood away from me! I’d die without their salmon teriyaki! Rita: Calm down. No one is going to take away your favorite restaurant. But what they will take is your civil liberties, justice, the right to choose, and your money. It’s a sad state of affairs when a political party can run on a platform that promises not to raise or add taxes and then that same party spends billions of your dollars—those dollars are collected through taxes. Lolita: Can we get to the music part of this column? Rita: Sure, go ask this Question of the Month—do you have any plans if one or the other presidential candidate wins the election? Lolita: That’s not very musical. Rita: Look, there’s Roger—you have something to ask him. Lolita: Roger, want to share an order of salmon teriyaki? Rita: She really wants to know if you have any plans in response to who wins the presidential election?

PRESIDENTIAL PLANS
Lolita: Yeah, Roger, tell me what you think of those two guys who spend more on political ads ($5o million!) than I will make in my entire life (plus the lifetime incomes of the entire staff of the Noise). Maybe you’d like to extrapolate your answer over a delicious plate of salmon with rice and veggies—you’ll get miso soup too! ROGER MILLER (Mission of Burma/ Alloy Orchestra): If Obama wins, I will say to myself (for the first time as a mature adult): “I am proud to be an American.”  If McCain wins, I don’t know what the fuck I’ll do—hopefully nothing really really bad. *** KAREN DeBIASSE (Girl On Top): Whoever becomes president is just a puppet.  The plan is already set for the reason that person will be put in office be it Democrat or Republican.  My plans would be to see what they have planned. *** CORIN ASHLEY (the Pills): If McCain wins, I vow to spend an entire year in a T-shirt that reads “Are you fucking kidding me?” *** TIM EMSWILER (the Noise): I’m not one of those idiots that says, “If McCain gets elected, I’m fucking moving to Canada,” so regardless of who wins, I’m just going to work on polishing my praying skills. *** LIZ BORDEN (Liz Borden Band): It depends who wins. I am afraid McCain will be more of the same, and this war will go on and on. His running mate is cute and all, but I can’t take her seriously. If they win, I may move to a rural area, live off the land, drop out of society and start my own cult. When Obama wins, I will feel like there is hope and will celebrate with my friends with some drinks, music, and a lot of hope for our future. *** EDRIE (Walter Sickert & the Army of Broken Toys): When (not if) Barak wins I plan to Barak and roll all night and party every day. *** SHAWN WOLF WORTIS (Mardi Gras): If Obama wins I will crack a bottle of 19-year-old W.L. Weller (bourbon) and savor each sip, pondering life’s great promise. If McCain wins I will open a bottle of Wild Turkey and drink until I puke. *** DANNY MacLEOD (Loverless):  If McCain wins the election, our drummer Michael will die. Due to a continuation of W’s economic polices, Michael will no longer have food stamps, so he will have to choose between food and whiskey.  He invariably chooses whiskey, and eventually gets scurvy. With no affordable health care, he will have no alternative but to join the Air Force, who have now been deployed to China to insure the “security” of U.S.-owned companies.  While on patrol, Michael’s plane runs out of gas, because the military can no longer afford to fill the tanks of its fighter planes. You can save a drummer’s life.  Vote Obama. *** GARY WALEIK (Big Dipper/AMC Gremlin): WHEN Obama wins, I plan to stay in the States and hope that his administration can right the ship after the conservatives, thugs, and zealots managed to almost sink it. In the unlikely case that McCain wins, I plan to buy Iceland with my Homestead royalties and, from there, send bad mojo to neocons for the rest of my life while enjoying life in an unspoiled country populated by friendly, intelligent, progressive, politically savvy people. *** CARLENE BAROUS (Din/ Temper):  If Obama wins, I’ll write a prelude.  If McCain wins, I’ll write a march. *** SHADY (the Crushing Low/ the Noise): If McCain wins, I’m seriously thinking of moving out of the country. Not so much because of him, but Sarah Palin scares the shit out of me. There is a very real possibility that McCain will be unable to serve out his entire term and I can’t handle the prospect of “that one” running the country. Lolita: But at least Saturday Night Live’s ratings would continue to boom.

NEWS - ROCK STYLE
Rita: I prefer the Saturday night live experience in a club—where it’s actually LIVE—not taped! See, I can do “Weekend Update” too—here now, the important news for you to spread around to the people who care about local music. ANGELLE WOOD has taken over as the host of WBCN’s Boston Emissions. *** ALOUD is currently developing a debut multimedia stage show with local filmmaker JONATHAN CARR.  The show is called I Just Want To Witness... and will premiere on Tuesday, 11/18, at 8:00pm at Berklee’s Cafe 939. *** The following Boston performers headed to CMJ this year: VIVIAN DARKBLOOM, JESSE DEE, CHERRY S/T, STEPANIAN. CHRISTOPHER BARNES, VIA AUDIO. All can be found online on Sonicbids. *** JOHN POWHIDA has released a 4-song EP called Dirty Bird and the Funny Bunny on the Camp Street label, produced by PAUL KOLDERIE (Radiohead) and ADAM TAYLOR (Dresden Dolls). *** TWO TON SHOE returned to Seoul, South Korea, for their second visit, this time sharing a bill with Yo La Tengo at the Grand Mint Festival. *** Photographer GAIL RUSH has her work in the book Radio Silence: A Selected Visual History Of American Hardcore. Lolita: It’s funny how the word hardcore in the past only pertained to the more extreme version of porn. Rita: Can we tie that information into the next Question of the Month? Lolita: Oh, that should be no problem. I’ll put my thinking cap on and figure out a smooth segue.

FAMILY STORIES
Lolita: There’s my pal Anngelle with her new ’BCN position. It may be hard for her to tie porn to the next question I came up with. Anngelle, tell me something about your family. ANNGELLE WOOD (WBCN): I’m the youngest of five kids. Insane doesn’t begin to describe our household but had it not been for my older siblings and their music collections rife with big rock (of which I pilfered from regularly), I would not be the person I am today. And we all love dogs; family gatherings are bananas. Lolita: I knew she could do it—a very risqué family with all those bananas. *** TJ (the Welch Boys): My seven year old boy snuck into my upstairs office, turned on my scanner, sat on it, and scanned his balls, then he left the picture on my desk. No Playstation for a month! Lolita: That was even better—hope we get to see the scans online. *** KIER BYRNES (3 Day Threshold): I come from a family with a lot of black sheep. My grandpa Joe played quarterback in semi-pro football league and was a professional singer in the big band circuit. I have an uncle who was ex-communicated from the church. On the other hand, I also have another uncle who had a story printed in the National Enquirer about his involvement in miracle of God.  I have another uncle who has so many degrees that he has more letters after his name than in his name. Lolita: The key “porn” words in Kier’s answer are “black sheep.” *** FRANCIS DiMENNO (Wrong Hero/ the Noise): My Dad, Frank, now retired, was once a deputy sheriff of Allegheny County, an appointive position, and, whenever he spoke of drug addicts, he would say. “Don’t worry—we’ll get ‘em.” One time good old Dad was attending some sort of cop lecture at U Pitt. He insisted I tag along. I had long hair down to my shoulders (it was ca. 1975). Dad, of course, insisted on sitting in the front of the auditorium. So we walked down the aisle from the back to the front. Ever have 200 cops stare at you? Well, I have. Lolita: We know why they were really staring at you, Francis. Those cops have a vivid imagination when I comes to “getting” young long-haired boys. *** LINDA VIENS (Angeline/ Sgt. Maxwell’s Peace Chorus): My family is Ruby and Wayne Viens, and my amazing, generous, loving friends—all keep me committed to staying on planet Earth and finding joy and being of service in any ways that I can, and most of all, to having fun, ’cause if we’re not having fun, the bad guys win! Lolita: Okay, before I get any more families pissed off at me, I’ll take a breather. *** KEN FIELD (Revolutionary Snake Ensemble/ Birdsongs of the Mesozoic): Janis Ian was my step-grandfather’s niece. *** GENE “GENO” JOHNSTON (Dead Friends): My family and I love living, dining, and schooling in the city of Boston.  It is just awesome to see how well rounded my little ones are becoming due to the Beantown neighborhood diversity.  Sheila (the hot wife) as well as the peeps, totally support me with my never ending musical and motocross endeavors.  I honestly go through life feeling like the luckiest man on the planet.  My three year old could tell you the exact model of my motocross bike and his sister could name all of my band mates in both bands. *** BRUCE ALLEN (the Doom Buggies): My two year old daughter, Mae, was just banging on her toy drum with the drumstick in her right hand and keeping pretty good time with the little plastic maraca in her left hand. Even I have trouble doing that. *** RUBY BIRD (Bird Mancini/ Urban Caravan): My (biological) family is about as far removed from Boston as you can get unless you grew up on the Amazon or something. My Dad and two of three sisters are farming in northwest Missouri, bread basket of the world. (Mama passed away last year.)  I grew up with cows, chickens, and was driving tractors by the time I was 10.  Just did a brief visit out there... it’s like being on another planet. *** DJ MATTHEW GRIFFIN (the Noise): I come from a musical family, starting with William C. Rietzel, an original member of the Boston Symphony Orchestra. Grandmother June played piano; father Jack, brother John, and I sang in a classical men and boy’s choir and toured extensively; cousin Sean, who was well known in the Boston hardcore scene in the mid ’80s,  is an accomplished DJ and musician out west; brother John DJ’ed college radio for years in Ann Arbor, Michigan, interviewing people like Ron Ashton (the Stooges), Wayne Kramer (MC5),  Noam Chomsky; cousin Pat (Politano) is the drummer for Letterday; my late father’s partner was Dave Small, singer/guitarist of Westboro’s the Slugs. *** CLAY N. FERNO (Wild Zero/ Middle East): I notice that T Max does a lot of awareness raising, so let me use this Noise issue to tell you that my niece Darby has Juvenile Diabetes. She is happy, healthy, and awesome, I love her! In her lifetime we can find a cure for this disease. I recently donated to JDRF.org and I think you should too! I’ve been toying with the idea of a benefit show—who is down? Most of you know how to find me! Rita: And if you don’t know how to reach Clay, write to the Noise and we’ll forward it.

MUSICAL CHAIRS
Rita: Musical Chairs is the section of our column where we let you know the latest in who’s playing in what band. If your band has a new member—get us the information. THE RATIONALS have a new bassist—GREG GAGNON. *** JOE KLUMPUS (Tracy Bonham/ Nina Gordon) will take over SCOTT RIEBLING’s bass chores for the LETTERS TO CLEO reunion shows. *** KATYA LANCERO is the latest vocalist to join SGT. MAXWELLL’S PEACE CHORUS. *** ERIC SCHMIDER (Molly Coddle) has put together a new outfit called THE MERKINS. *** I’m not sure if THE MONTGOMERYS ever went away, but they’re back with TONY SAVARINO on guitar. *** SARAH RABDAU has joined forces with drummer MATT GRABER and created SARAH RABDAU & THE SELF EMPLOYED ASSASSIN. Lolita: I guess that makes Matt the assassin. They plan to release their debut self-titled album on 1/20/09. Rita: Isn’t that the date that the new president takes office? I wonder if there’s any connection there. Matt, if you hear any clicks on your phone, it’s not the cockroaches chewing on the wires.

BEST DRUMMER
Lolita: So, I hope Matt gets his beats down perfectly. Rita: What do you mean by that? Lolita: It’s a secret code between me and Matt. And now I will ask the final Question of the Month in our secret code. See if you can decipher what the answers really mean to this simple sounding question. Who’s the best drummer you know, besides the one in your band?  RAY MASON (Ray Mason Band/Lonesome Brothers): The best drummer I know has got to be, hands down, Tom Ardolino from NRBQ. Tom is one of the greatest drummers in the history of rock ’n’ roll period! He swings plus lays it down like no other. He’s rock with the roll! A true inspiration to watch and listen to. It pisses me off that he’s not more known. If you’re a fan you’ll always be listening. If you haven’t heard him then you’re in for the ultimate musical treat! Let’s see, how else can I put this. There’s Ringo, Hal Blaine, the late great Earl Palmer, Levon Helm and Tom Ardolino. Got it?! *** SLIMEDOG (the Noise): I’m sure I’m not the only one to pick Walter Gustafson (Outlets/ Gang Green) but of current drummers my faves are Mike Mahoney (Thunderhog), Cindy Spoiler (the Spoilers), and Chris Dimwit (the Dimwits). *** DAVID KIRKDORFFER (UNDO/ the Blank Attack): I’ve been privileged to play with some of Boston’s most outstanding drummers: Brett Campbell, Jim Doherty, and Danny Lee.  And, once again, I’m looking for a drummer to a join a bass player and myself to start a new band: This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it if you’re interested. *** PETE CASSANI (the Peasants/Beefy DC): Stephen Hart. Hands down. Best I’ve played with. And I’ve played with HUNDREDS!! Not in the Peasants anymore. Now a family man but definitely the guy to call when you are doing a record and laying it down for eternity. He will do it flawlessly in the first take and you can move on. Incredible time too! *** FRANK STROM (the Noise): Jesse Best from Muck & The Mires—she’s a brute! You know that movie Frankenstein Conquers The World? The atomic-mutated Frankenstein is rampaging through Tokyo, Nick Adams and Kumi Mizuno are chasing him, he winds up at Mount Fuji and fights subterranean monster Baragon before a volcanic fissure destroys everything in a fiery holocaust. Jesse’s drumming is just like that. Or am I being too technical here...? Lolita: It’s tough to decipher your secret code, but I think I have it. When Jesse plays a segues where the speed of the following song changes drastically and she turns the tempo on a dime—yes, Frankenstein will out wit Baragon—just because he’s such an American cult hero.

SCENE DREAM
Rita: And there are a number of American, or at least Bostonian, cult heroes playing out this month. Here are our picks. LEFT HAND DOES opens the show at the Middle East on Saturday, 11/1. *** WIDE IRIS and RICK BERLIN organize an Obama benefit on the day before you vote—Monday, 11/3 at T.T.’s. *** THE SPRAINED ANKLES get cheered on at the Cantab on Friday, 11/7. *** Same night ERNIE & THE AUTOMATICS are at Johnny D’s—come on down! *** APPLE BETTY opens the show at PA’s Lounge on Sunday, 11/9. *** MYSTERY TRAMPS rock Dodge Street on Tuesday, 11/11. *** On Thursday, 11/13, ERIN HARPE plays her authentic delta blues at the Midway. *** INCUS has a big CD release party at Spontaneous Celebrations on Friday, 11/14. *** BRETT ROSENBERG is back in town for his record release party on Monday, 11/17, at Zuzu! *** On Friday, 11/21, THE DOOM BUGGIES kick up the sand at Church. *** JORDAN VALENTINE & THE SUNDAY SAINTS are preachin’ at the Plough & Stars on Saturday, 11/22. *** BOW EVER DOWN arrives from Maine to play Great Scott on Sunday, 11/23. *** Friday and Saturday, 11/28 + 11/29, BEATLE JUICE pleases Johnny D’s. *** LETTERS TO CLEO reunites in Boston on 12/8 and 12/9 at the Paradise. Rita: Let’s make our country feel like paradise again—remember to vote for the right candidate. Lolita: And be kind to your family at Thanksgiving.