GLOUCESTER,
MASSACHUSETTS

Rita: When you move often it’s kinda like you’re on a slow tour. Lolita: That’s right—if you haven’t heard yet, the Noise is now based in Gloucester, Mass.—where we just might take up fishing for a living—if our government would just let us fish without the restrictions that are stopping fishermen from making a living. Rita: Now that we’re in Fish Town it’s not uncommon to run into WILLIE ALEXANDER at the farmers’ market, or see DAN KING (Bandit Kings) at the Greasy Pole competition, or MARK CHENERVERT (Chandler Travis Philharmonic) leading a marching band in the Horribles Parade, or taste the fresh bread baked by JOHN HARDY (the Bags), or see Greasy Pole—the Musical directed by HENRY ALLEN. Lolita: I think you have to explain the greasy pole thing. Rita: Right. Each year about 50 healthy (mostly Italian) men located about 75 yards off shore, try to walk the length of a horizontal telephone pole and grab a flag planted at the far end. The pole is lathered in grease, and most guys don’t make it more than three steps before they splash down into the water. Lolita: Sometimes smashing their body into the pole on the way down. Rita: It’s just a part of the fiesta for Saint Peter. Lolita: The greasy pole is in the same league as the belt sander races in Jamaica Plain. Be the first to email us the name of the woodworking studio that hosted the belt sander races and you will win yourself a banner for a week on our popular websites, thenoise-boston.com and thenoiseboard.com. Send your answer to This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it . Rita: Now, considering that we had to explain the greasy pole to you means that’s not really that famous yet. So our question of the month is… Lolita: What kind of experience have you had with a greasy pole? Rita: No! That’s not where I was going with it. I want to know what is stopping you from becoming rich and famous? Lolita: That’s easy. Absolutely nothing. Rita: Well, go ask your semi-unknown friends and see what they say.

WHY THEY'RE NOT RICH & FAMOUS

Lolita: Hey Dave! Get your famous butt over here. Yes, I want you to climb off that furry old elephant with the over-grown tusks—what is that thing anyway? No, no—the question I want you to answer is—what is stopping you from being rich and famous? DAVE WESTNER (Woolly Mammoth Sound): I’m sure others will say this, but gobs of cash and recognizabilty. *** JON MACEY (Fox Pass/ Adam & Eve): I actually once asked myself that question. Looking back, I had some level of fame and money at the time. Oh well, the folly of youth, lack of perspective and extreme impatience sure did not help matters. *** KRISTEN MILLER (Kristen Miller): Boy, you really know how to step in it, don’t you? That’s like asking a Republican why they’re not paying lower taxes. But here’s my answer: I’m rich in love and I have all the adoration I need at home. But... career-wise, I’d settle for financially solvent and relatively well-known over rich and famous. *** JAMES KEYES (James Keyes/ the Numbskulls): The only thing keeping me from being rich and famous is a lack of money and an overabundance of obscurity. Other than that, I think I’m pretty much on track. *** LIZ BORDEN (Liz Borden Band): I am not Justin Bieber. I don’t have the hair or the dance moves. Also, I have never been on American Idol or any talent TV shows. In my mind I am very rich and famous and then I wake up! It’s never to late. I could rob a bank, sleep with a politician and the write a tell-all book, or get married and become a Real House Wife. *** KIER BYRNES (Three Day Threshold): I’m pretty sure it’s got something to do with money and people not knowing who I am. *** PAUL HANSEN (the Grownup Noise): You know I think when I was standing at the crossroads that one humid and dusty afternoon in the Mississippi delta I might’ve signed on the wrong line, or forgot to use my blood as ink or something. Because other than receiving 100,000 hits on MySpace nothing has really happened. Come to think of it, that might not have been the devil that I met there either. S**t, I think I signed a Tea Party petition. *** MICHAEL J. EPSTEIN (the Michael J. Epstein Memorial Library/ Do Not Forsake Me Oh My Darling): The only things stopping me from becoming rich and famous are money, notoriety, talent, beauty, empathy, sympathy, entropy, autonomy, endoscopy, cartography, and the rise in popularity of German hip-hop. Rita: Michael, in our book you are rich and famous. You have a whole lot of talent and a knack for attracting beautiful women to want to make lovely music with you. You know that Lolita and I are ready to join you in a new band. But make note: Lolita is tone deaf and they call me Miss Rhythm because when the rhythm was being handed out, they missed me.

NEWS

Lolita: I wish Rita wouldn’t tell people that I’m tone deaf. I know I’m not because I saw someone turn the tone knob on their old amplifier—and I could hear it very easily. And not to brag, but I am very close to perfect pitch. Really, I stood almost on top of Josh Beckett while he was eating at a restaurant—you can’t get much closer to the perfect pitch. Oh, you want news? JOYCE RASKIN (Scarce) has written a book called My Misadventure as a Teenage Rock Star. The book is for sale on Amazon worldwide and comes with fake tattoos and guitar lessons. *** Take in some of the history of Boston rock ’n’ roll with A Woman’s Voice: The Robin Lane Story a film by drummer TIM JACKSON (Robin Lane & the Chartbusters). Check it out on awomansvoicefilm.com. *** TIM MUNGENAST (…& His Preexisting Condition) acted in a commercial you can see on YouTube—search for win a waterpik. *** Seek out JOHN EYE’s video of “Sun Dance” that includes a traditional performance by Native Americans. *** DROPKICK MURPHYS are on an extended tour that will take them to Germany and eventually the UK, but on September 8 and 9 they’ll be at Fenway Park. *** Gloucester singer/ songwriter COURTNEY REID (Maeve) won $25,000 in a contest singing a jingle for Folgers coffee. Her performance was broadcast on a Jumbotron in Times Square. *** FREEZE POP won Best Album category in the Boston Phoenix Best Music Poll. *** Dark Entries is releasing JEFF & JANE HUDSON’s two LP edition of Flesh—it’s their complete discography from 1981-1983. *** AGE OF END’s song “Shattered” is on the video game Play Live, Play Hard, released by New England Garage Bands (.com). The band’s guitar player, MARK McKELLAR, is also featured in the game. *** AYAL NAOR and MARIA CHRISTOPHER (27) have found a place that recycles CDs and jewel cases—municipalities won’t accept them. Go to: cdrecyclingcentral.com. *** Massachusetts Rep. Barney Frank and Texas Rep. Ron Paul have filed federal legislation to legalize cannabis for all purposes while maintaining marijuana’s current status under Federal drug testing policies. Other co-sponsors include Rep. John Conyers (D-MI), Rep. Steve Cohen (D-TN), Rep. Jared Polis (D-CO), and Rep. Barbara Lee (D-CA). *** BABY RAY played a reunion at Church on July 21. *** SWITCHBLADE SUICIDE was asked by legendary rock band Queensryche to be the opening act when they play House of Blues Boston as part of their 30^th anniversary tour on Saturday, August 6 at 6:00pm. *** We always like to encourage new budding fanzines and we found a great one last time we were in our favorite JP Café (Canto 6)—it’s called Counter Cultural Compass.

HOUSE ON FIRE

Lolita: Time for another hot question of the month. I see J-Po coming down the street and I’m going to force him to pay attention to me. John, sweetheart, loverboy… tell me what are the three things you would grab if your house was suddenly on fire? JOHN POWHIDA (…International Airport/ the Rudds): Sex, drugs, and rock ’n’ roll. Lolita: Would you settle for one of those things? *** KENNETH GEORGE SCALES (Pastiche/Adventure Set): Fear of fire is at the top of my fear list. I would take my 15-year-old cat Betty, my ATM card, and my framed woodcut self-portrait. *** CORIN ASHLEY (…& the Harris Sons): Assuming that Harrison, wife, and pets were all safe, I’d reach for my Hofner Senator bass autographed by Klaus Voorman, my Gibson J-200, and my notebook of song ideas. *** KEN FIELD (Musaner/ Agachiko/ Revolutionary Snake Ensemble/ Birdsongs of the Mesozoic): My saxophone, my flute, and either my laptop or my bottle of Woodford Reserve Distiller’s Select Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey. *** ANDERSON MAR (Sans Nomenclature). My two fat ass Maine Coon Cats and the leather biker jacket that my dad got me in 1990. *** EVAN GAVRY (Three Day Threshold): My house caught fire two years ago. I arrived just in time to watch the roof burn off. For a while I thought all I had left was what I had with me. So they’d be the things I’d grab again: my acoustic guitar (my dad’s old ‘67 Gibson B25), a laptop with 10 years of demos on it, and as many lyric notebooks as I could lay hands on. Before the smoke cleared, firefighters started carrying instruments across the street to where I was staying with friends. It’s lucky nobody was hurt; it’s a miracle how many instruments survived. *** FRANCIS DIMENNO (Wrong Hero/ the Noise) My beagle Fluke, my black and tan coonhound Blue, and my hard drive, which does not currently have a name. *** HEATHER MALONEY (Heather Maloney): (1) my 1970 Martin. (2) my lion (he’s stuffed). (3) my bookmarked, underlined, and highlighted copy Letters to a Young Poet (by Rainer Maria Rilke, the poet who is largely responsible for my decision to live as an artist). Of course this is all based on my hope that I would be instinctively unmaterialistic. Who knows whether sentimental or monetary value would determine what I grab for in the heat of the moment (no pun intended). Maybe I’d be running out with my laptop, jewelry, etc.! *** RAY MASON (Ray Mason Band/ Lonesome Brothers): Of course my wife, Karen, and our two kitties, Amos and Rita! Three “things” would have to be my copy of Charlie Chesterman’s second solo CD Studebakersfield, my 1965 turquoise Sears Silvertone electric guitar, and my Joe E. Ross (of Car 54 Where Are You? fame) autograph! *** MR. CURT (Camaraderie Music Productions): (1) Our three cats in their kitty carrier, filled with food (2) a large duffel bag stuffed with wallets, a few electronics, important personal papers, some cool clothes and daily sundries, maybe one guitar, and some private stash; (3) the urn with my mother’s ashes. Hope this never comes to pass! *** CHUCK U. ROSINA (WMBR / WMFO): The tragedy of my house burning down (not in a good way, like by the Talking Heads), is one that I hope to never have to face. And I hope that all my friends and loved ones would be able to avoid such a fate. Yet it is a question I have thought about...just in case. Of course I would first make sure that all living beings were out: wife, dog and cats. As for objects, there are only two that I focused on, and luckily they are near each other in the basement. One is a case of about 500 DATs, which contain the bulk of my audio work from the ’80s, ’90s and beginning of this century. The other is a box of photo albums from high school and college days. Let’s hope I never have to run down there in a panic and grab them. *** TIM MUNGENAST (Tim Mungenast & His Preexisting Conditions): In the event of a fire, I’d take my Trans-Lepticon, my Zorch, and my Sponge Woojoo. *** RUBY BIRD (Bird Mancini): Lila the cat, red accordion, and Billy. Not necessarily in that order. Oh yeah, and my purse. Uh, but that’s four things... can I please grab four things? *** GARVY J (…& the Secret Pockets of Hope & Resistance): Three things I would grab if house was on fire: my son, my daughter, my wife. *** SAMMY MIAMI (the Welch Boys/ For the Worse/ Britt Lightning Band): A fire extinguisher, a thick blanket to smother it, and if those failed, my phone to dial 911! Well, actually that’s if my apartment caught fire, I can’t even imagine owning a house. *** NATE ROGERS (the Future Everybody/ x-Scamper): I’d like to say my photo albums, my old journals, and maybe the hard drive hosting my entire music collection. But, frankly, between the panic of the moment and not actually knowing where some of those things are right now, I’d probably end up with a box of AA batteries, a rubber donkey, and an oven mitt. *** WALTER “GODDAMN” SICKERT (Walter Sickert & the Army of Broken Toys): The boat I grew up on burnt down and sank when I was nine. In the fire I lost my two dogs Darth Vader and Jamie so If I could save three things from a hypothetical fire they’d be: One time machine and then two dogs that I’d have join the band. *** RYAN LEE CROSBY (solo): I would grab my 1960 Guild X 50, my ’67 Fender Deluxe Reverb amp and my Otari MX 5050 1/2 inch reel to reel tape machine... and I’d ask my wife to grab the tube preamps and the mic locker. *** LINDA VIENS (Angeline/ Adam & Eve): My kid, my cats, my birds, and my guitar. Rita: Looks like one of them is not going to make it. You only had three things choose. So say goodbye to that guitar—you can always buy another one. The other things are all living—and impossible to totally replace.

MUSICAL CHAIRS PLUS

Lolita: We actually don’t play musical chairs here. We let you know the changes in bands that we’ve heard about. What do you get when you combine members of JERRY’S KIDS and the BROOKLYNS? You get BATTLE GREEN. *** JESSICA SUN LEE has beamed herself into SECRET SATELLITES with JEFF CLARKE. *** CHARLES HANSEN, CHRIS BLUE, JIM ZAVADOSKI, and JONATHAN SCRENCI make up GYMNASIUM. *** ALL ECHOS RETURN is the new moniker for the band once known as MIDATLANTIC. *** SHARP DARTS USA include members of LOCKGROOVE and THE SWIRLIES. *** HELLO NINJA—goodbye Ninja. The band played its final farewell (check our live reviews). DEVIL ON HORSEBACK includes two members of AUTO INTERIORS—ERIC WAXWOOD and BRUCE CAPORAL. ***

Rita: Now I have the pleasure of announcing the newest member to enter the Noise Hall of Fame (as voted by the editors of this magazine). Drum roll please. Come on make a little noise… The newest inductee to the Noise Hall of Fame is… (stop drum roll)… PETER WOLF. Peter joins Willie Alexander Roger Miller, Jeff Conolly, Rich Gilbert, Peter Prescott, Albert O, David Minehan, Mark Sandman, Tristram Lozaw, Thalia Zedek, Aimee Mann, Oedipus, Billy Ruane, Kenne Highland, Dickie Barrett, Mikey Dee, Richie Parsons, Alvan Long, Asa Brebner, Brett Milano, Carmelita, Jonathan Richman, Rick Berlin, and JJ Rassler. Congratulations, Mr. Wolf.

LOLITA’S QUESTION

Rita: Our final question of the month was very popular. I let Lolita decide what it would be. Lolita, what did you come up with? Lolita: Well, I wanted to get a little more personal and ask a hard relationship question. So I started in the most private room in the house—the bathroom. Everyone I know likes bathroom humor, so I asked how many sheets of toilet paper do you use per visit and are you a folder or a buncher? Rita: The folder/buncher part sounds like it came from Seinfeld. And what’s this—only one person dared to answer the question?! RICK BERLIN (the Nickel & Dime Band): As Bob Dole put it when asked about what it was like getting old: “depends.” In this case on the toilet paper, if it’s parchment thin generic paper ya need yards per swipe. If it’s tampon thick, super duper, three squares folded does the job. Main concern is poke through. Whether ya wad or fold ya never want PT. EVER. Lolita: Thanks you Rick for being so bold to share your thoughts on this important subject.

ALL GOIN' OUT TOGETHER

Rita: Hot time summer in the city. Here are some great shows that you shouldn’t miss… Saturday, 8/6, finds HEATHER MALONEY at the Somerville Armory. *** On Sunday, 8/7, T MAX is the featured artist in BONNIE BARISH & NANCY WILLIAMS’ open mic at the Rockport UU Church (5:00-7:00). *** UNCLE EDDIE’S invites you to experience WILDSIDE on Saturday, 8/13. *** On Thursday, 8/18, THE CLASSIC RUINS play Nancy Neon’s Birthday Bash at the Cantab. *** DO NOT FORSAKE ME MY DARLING is sandwiched between two great bands at T.T. the Bear’s on Friday, 8/19. *** RICK BERLIN is organizing the first annual JP Music Festival on Saturday, 8/20 from 1-7pm at the Pinebank on Jamaica Pond. *** LENNY LASHLEY & FRIENDS gather at the Middle East on Friday, 8/26. *** Same night WHAT TIME IS IT MR. FOX? is at Passim. *** Saturday, 8/27 has LIZ FRAME & THE KICKERS at the Cantab. *** In September on Saturday, 9/8 the Noise will have its final 30^th anniversary celebration, with coverboy ALLEN ESTES, CHELSEA BERRY, SALVATORE BAGLIO, JULIE DOUGHERTY, and the man who created and is still running this ’zine—T MAX. Rita: Hope to run into you before our September issue. Lolita: You have to see my tan!

RIP: JILLY BLACKSTONE (Heidi) passed away on June 25, 2011, from cancer.