USA: HOW DO YOU LOVE IT? 

NICOLE TAMMARO (Nicole Tammaro Photography): I appreciate the members of the constitutional convention, writing the Bill of Rights, with my two favorite amendments—one and two. *** PETER SUTTON (Temper): That the emerging technology of cloned meat has been embraced here first... we may run out of oil, but we’ll never starve. *** DICK TATE (The Prime Movers/ Middle East): Our sense of humor. After all, we’ve been run by clowns for the past eight years. *** AJDA THE TURKISH QUEEN (Black Fortress of Opium): The lack of a caste system or strict social classes that cannot be transcended. The ability to rise from nothing to something, and from utter nothingness to significance. Lolita: Yes, that’s right—look at me and Rita—27 years ago we were eager young gossip columnists willing to work for nothing—now we’re experienced gossip columnists—who still don’t get paid. *** TIM MUNGENAST (… & His Preexisting Conditions): The thing I like most about the USA is that we have not had a civil war in about 150 years, as compared to too many countries where there is nothing but turmoil, gang rapes, kidnappings, people getting hacked to death with machetes for no apparent reason, mothers selling their kids into sexual slavery, and trucks full of AK47-toting pre-teens looking for trouble. I’ll take America, thanks: in spite of its many faults and its dark, violent history, it’s still a great place to live. *** STEPHIE PEEKA (… & the Seeking 7): One thing I appreciate is that I can go down the waterfront in Plymouth, where I live, in the summer and hear accents from all over the world. It’s quite cool... and I appreciate laughing at the tourons (that is, moron tourists). Lolita: Down on the Vineyard they say, “Summer people, some’re not.” *** MARK BRYANT (the Noise): I am thankful we have a form of government in place where no elected official can solely dictate the actions of our nation. To live in a land where our president has the knowledge, grace and wisdom to be the voice of the people and is always willing to listen to and consider opposing views. He would never invade another country without reason or lead us into unnecessary battle. He would respect our privacy as individuals, and treat all men and women equally. Oh wait! That has nothing to do with the United States. Okay… baseball! *** MIKE LANGLIE (Twink): We don’t ever have to eat toad in the hole, bangers and mash, or jellied eel. Rita: Is Twink is going XXX on us? Lolita: I have a feeling we’ll be hearing his toy pianos on porn flicks now. Rita: If that’s true he better pick up a wah-wah. *** RUBY BIRD (Bird Mancini): The United States is my home, and despite my feeling that our government could and should do better (a lot better!), and lacking space to mention here all the freedoms that I take for granted far too often, the thing I love best is that it’s my home. I am truly blessed and deeply grateful for it. *** BOB GOBRON (Shakyfoot): What I appreciate most about the United States of America is that this nation was founded on the principle that the rights of every individual are inviolate. The notion that people are “endowed with certain unalienable rights” and that these rights supersede the power of the government was in 1776 the most radical concept put forth by any society in all of human history. It takes tremendous courage to live free and to this day not everyone is up to the challenge. So while our nation is still yet to completely fulfill the ideals of the framers, these ideals are still our guiding principles and the foundation of America. *** NANCY NEON (the Noise/the Varmints’ manager): The one “thing” I appreciate most about living in the USA is my hubby, Billy Borgioli. The first night I met him, he was dressed all in black like me. We were walking in Chinatown and I said, “It’s nice out tonight!” Billy said, “So I guess I’ll keep IT out!” I thought, “This is one DIRTY guy!” It’s been seven years and I haven’t stopped laughing yet. Other than humor, my biggest turn on has always been talent and Billy’s always working on a song or painting. He’s shared his family and his home with me, which is an art gallery with a million dollar view. Lolita: It’s amazing that windows coated with motor oil are now worth that much. *** CHUCK U. ROSINA (WMFO/ WMBR): One thing I appreciate about the USA is the Bill of Rights. Use ’em or lose ’em I always say. Unfortunately, many of these basic rights have been eroded over the past seven years. It’s up to we, the people (oh wait, that’s the Constitution) to be vigilant and demand these rights be reinstated. *** PETER MOORE (Count Zero): Our entertainment is generally “better,” pound for pound, than any other nation’s. For what that’s worth. Also, I’ve been noticing that the US is more handicap-accessible than most other countries. *** MR. CURT (Mr. Curt Ensemble/ Urban Caravan): Once upon a time, say mid-1800s, my ancestors came from Germany and settled in Boston. Through the years they suffered discrimination, hostilities, and economic struggles, as well as bouts of opportunity, friendship, and success. Much later in 1968, I met the wonderful daughter of a similar Italian immigrant family who also settled here in the early 1920s. We have lived freely and happily ever after in this melting pot. What a country! Lolita: And for those who don’t know, Mr. Curt is talking about his true love, and one of the twin go-go dancers for the Urban Caravan, Ms. Donna. *** MARK LIND (…& the Unloved): I appreciate the fact that we have a maximum of two terms for a president so the idiots of this country can’t re-elect this buffoon. Again. *** SAMMY MIAMI (Shööt The Möön): “America, land of the free, there ain’t no other place that I’d rather be. America you are the best, thanks for taking us under your wing into the comfort of the freebird’s nest.” This country is amazing! Where else can a homeless man become a star, an actor become a president, a cartoon become a religion, and the moon become a billboard?! The possibilities are endless here. Lolita: Sammy, thank you for mentioning the projection we did on the last full moon. For those who missed it, it read—“The Noise, the only magazine left that isn’t government controlled.” The timing of our moon projection was a little off, but we now have a ton of subscribers from the eastern hemisphere.