ELECTION 2008

Lolita: Okay Mike, what gives, what will happen in this election? MIKE C (MassCann/NORML Freedom Rally): Since my vote in Massachusetts doesn’t seem to matter with the electoral college giving the winner all the delegates and not being happy with either major candidate, I’m stuck on whether I should vote None of the Above or write-in Mickey Mouse. Mickey Mouse is clearly the best and most qualified Fortune 500-backed candidate out there today. *** LINDA VIENS (Angeline/ Sgt. Maxwell’s Peace Chorus): Barack, Barack, Barack! If we all gather together, work hard, and stand strong, consciousness and humanism will win the day! *** JIM SULLIVAN (Boston Phoenix): You have to feel good about the Republicans this time. A veep candidate who’s a gun-toting governor of Alaska—that’s in the U.S, right?—who doesn’t want sex education in the schools and has a pregnant teenage daughter, who, praise Jesus, will get married to her boyfriend. That should work. And McCain, well, rumor is he was once a P.O.W. and that’s all I need to know. That, and he supports Bush 90 percent of the time. America’s been headed for glory for eight years. Why stop now? Put McCain and Palin in power and the joyride continues. If McCain’s 72-year-old ticker gives out, Sarah’s got the kind of hockey mom experience America needs as commander-in-chief. She says the difference between hockey moms and pit bulls is the lipstick. That’s funny! *** KAREN DE BIASSE (Girl On Top): I try not to pay attention to it.  I know it’s a big show to make us feel we live in a democracy; purely a distraction.  The “money” men in charge will prop up and put in who best will fit their agenda.  The knight in shining armor, Obama, may be put in to take away our gun rights for instance.  I know he is CFR, Bilderberg, Freemason, which puts him in with the gang just as much if not more than McCain.  There’s always the possibility that the one who gets elected has no fear and goes against his bosses, but then they will probably end up assassinated like Kennedy. *** ANDE MOTTA (Tunnlvision): Obama.  I have heard many times that people think Obama is going to be elected then assassinated.  Who wants him dead and why? Lolita: Ande, are you too young to remember what happened to John F. Kennedy, Martin Luther King, Jr., and Bobby Kennedy? *** BRIAN O’CONNELL (Brian O’Connell/ Stop the Wars Coalition): Although a McCain presidency would be catastrophic, the idea that Obama is going to usher in a new era of progressive politics is just plain wrong. Barack Obama stands for the corporations that run this country. He is fully behind our criminal wars in the Middle East. An Obama administration will continue to fully support the military industrial complex. Real change will only come from grassroots activism on behalf of regular citizens, not disingenuous politicians. *** JEFFREY SIMMONS (Jeffrey Simmons): Just before election day, in a very Scooby-Doo like fashion, McCain will pull back his mask to reveal he is actually... Dick Cheney. *** MATT KING (the Lights Out): I predict a hotly contested race complete with over-the-top spin, scandals and Republican dirty tricks. I predict that e-voting problems will come back into the headlines due to, well, e-voting problems. I predict that Obama will trounce McCain in the debates causing people to go for McCain even more. Oh, and I predict that we’ll find out that Sarah Palin is actually a polar bear. Lolita: I think that’s just her Halloween costume—complete with lipstick.