MUSICAL CHAIRS

Rita: Those in search of the foot that perfectly fits the glass slipper are like those looking for the perfect new member for their band—or a country searching for an inspirational leader. All hail Obama! I can’t believe the situation he’s been voted into—the white man creates a big mess and leaves it for the black man to clean up. Bush—you’re a greedy liar, a truly unpatriotic American in that you have soiled our name around the globe. I hope you serve time for the crimes you have committed against humanity. By the FBI’s definition, you are a terrorist. And when are all Americans going to wake up and realize this financial mess we’re in gets worse every day that the money-sucking war in the Middle East continues. Obama, please stand up to the war machine and correct the United States’ standing in this world. Go back to the days of speaking softly and carrying a big stick. A threat is worse than an execution. Lolita: Whom are you threatening to execute? Rita: I’m sorry; I strayed a little from the subject at hand. I believe I was about to mention the movement of member in bands. Here we go… TIM MADDEN (Desolation Bells) is playing drums with THE FREEWAYS. *** JIM HAGGERTY (x-The Gravy) has a new band with GRAHAM TICHY (guitar), IAN CARLTON (vocals), and JEFF MICHAEL (drums), called Rocky Velvet. *** Drummer JEFF CLARKE has joined THE SUN LEE SUNBEAM. The band is looking for a guitarist now. You can contact them through myspace. *** Members of GATSBY have formed THE LONGWALLS. *** BLACKBOARD NAILS have developed out of BABY STRANGE and have already toured the UK. *** MONIQUE ORTIZ has a fresh band called MONIQUE ORTIZ that enlists help from ROB HULSMAN on drums and STEVE BREMAN on backing vocals, bass, and baritone guitar (x-Shiner Jones). *** ERIC SCHMIDER has a big band now that includes FAITH SOLOWAY on keys, PAUL AHLSTRAND on sax, AARON GELB on sax, MARK BERNEY on trumpet, PETE BOOLOS on guitar, JOE KLUMPUS on bass, and JEFFERSON DAVIS on drums. *** THE ALMIGHTY TERRIBLES include members of THE COFFIN LIDS. *** Not that they joined the band, but WALTER SICKERT and EDRIE (both of Walter Sickert & the Army of Broken Toys) sang on the WHAT TIME IS IT MR FOX? new CD. Lolita: I saw the Mr. Fox band recently and really liked them. I think their leader, BRIAN KING, may have a thing for me. Now, Rita, don’t you go telling him any nasty anecdotes about me.