BY T MAX and THE WRONG HERO

20 YEARS AGO
Issue #82     March 1989
Cover: Think Tree, Xanna Don't, Vasco Da Gama
Bands: Anastasia Screamed, Classic Ruins, Busted Statues, Raging Lemmings, Blood Oranges, Dogzilla,
Gossip & Stuff: Fans of Count Zero can see Will Ragano with a full head of hair in Think Tree. *** Rita claims Lolita talks about the warmer weather coming because she can't wait to start screwing outside again. Hooray, Hooray, it's the first of May. Outdoor screwing begins today. *** Here are a couple of Boston star birthdays—Rick Ocasek (The Cars) 3/23 and Steven Tyler (Aerosmith) 3/26. And I happen to know that Sarah RabDAU's birthday is 3/6—she's a new star. *** A new local show on WMBR is announced—Pipeline. *** Bunratty's buys a new sound system and sells their old one to Green Street Station. Classic. From the ridiculous to the sublime.... *** Sax player Ken Field joins Birdsongs of the Mesozoic. *** Christmas is edited out of The Morton Downey Show when Michael Cudahy breaks the jaw of Ace Frehley (Kiss) for being a bigot and racist. *** David Greene (now producer of NPR's Car Talk) comes back from England with chicken pox. *** AJ Wachtel (Waddy's brother? No, they're not related) talks about being toasted on Moroccan hash in Casablanca, riding on a camel led by two bare breasted women. Not exactly a change from his usual habits....

15 YEARS AGO
Issue #137     March 1994
Cover: Bulkhead
Bands: Peter Wolf, Mistle Thrush, Dirt Merchants, Twig, Miles Dethmuffen, Alloy Orchestra, Swirlies, Butterscott, Papas Fritas, BB Gallini, Sumac, BJ Snowden, the Allstonians, Big Catholic Guilt, 6L6, Tulips
Gossip & Stuff: Kenne Highland passes out while performing on stage at Club Bohemia. He tends to black out whenever the blood rushes to his kielbasa... *** All Mod Cons (Boston's Jam Tribute Band) heads out on their fifth European tour. *** WBCN celebrates its 26th anniversary with Peter Wolf hosting their annual Rockin' Radio House Party. *** Some new bands get together. Chris Cugini (x-Anastasia Screamed) forms Delta Clutch….and gives lots of free advertising to the real Delta Clutch at 330 Smith Street in Providence.... Trojan Ponies start galloping; Butterscott is lead by Jonathan Scott with Mikey Dee on drums—and sometimes Brett Milano sits in on drums. *** Boston Rock Opera presents Jesus Christ Superstar with Gary Cherone and Doug Thoms vocally wailing on each other. *** David Charles (Sidewalk Gallery) and Lisa Traxler (KISS 108) marry and honeymoon in Quebec. *** Morgan Huke starts a new show on WMFO called Excursions. *** Skeggie (Tackle Box) becomes a dad and little Lucas gets his photo in the Noise. Shades of Who Shot Hollywood. *** Pete Cassani is looking for a drummer—as common a statement as Marc Schleicher forms a new band, or Lilli Dennison makes new venue a success! Or “T Max hates war because he was drafted right after Pearl Harbor.”

10 YEARS AGO
Issue #189    March 1999
Cover: The Peasants, Boy Wonder
Bands: The Red Telephone, Tree, Little A, Johnny Black Trio, Gang Green, the Curtain Society, the Roys, Four Piece Suit, the Proletariat, Weeping In Fits And Starts, Asciento, Godboy, Meaghan McLaughlin, Gravel Pit, Betwixt, Neptune, the Figgs, Medea Connection, Chris Mascara, the Electric Logs, Keith Bowniece
Gossip & Stuff: I prepare all my dirty clothes for the laundromat but somehow manage to put the bag of laundry out as garbage. Lots of cool T-shirts end up in the dump that day. And lots of schizophrenic homeless men find themselves unknowingly promoting local bands. *** Steev Riccardo gives up booking the Linwood and Phil Hopkins takes over. *** Peter DuCharme gets swamped with work when his soundtrack of a very popular Volkswagen TV commercial hits the air. It's the one with the windshield wipers keeping time. *** Rita and Lolita create the Touting Tapeworm Award for the best answer to the Question of the Month that turns into a self-promoting proclamation. Maybe we should bring back that award—I could use some more trophies on my mantle. *** Peter Moore (Count Zero) admits that he was six or seven when he started creating a new language called Queven. *** Crackpipe, Wisconsin (a Boston band) wins the Conan O'Brien Band Search contest and appears on the show. *** Musicians Magazine announces its last issue to be published (April 1999). *** Hey, more new bands! Maria Christopher goes from her Rumble-winning band, Dirt Merchants, to a new artier band: 27. *** Scrapple gets going with Tom Scanlon, Dave Geissler, Lisa McColgan, and Chris Everett. Look for gigantic body parts on stage—namely butts and a vagina. *** John Dragonetti (Jack Drag) and Peter DuCharme (Master Cylinder) start the Junior Communist Club. And single-handedly declares war on Chechnya.

5 YEARS AGO
Issue #239  March 2004
Cover: Baby Strange, the Dents, the Collisions
Bands: Count Zero, Antler, Smorgasbord, Stoic, Eric Marcos & Normal Noises, Verona Downs, Ad Frank, The Blackstone Valley Sinners, Duke & the Drivers, Sarah RabDAU, Furvis, Catapult, the Franc Graham Band, Kenne Highland & his Vatican Sex Kittens, American Pulverizer, Aloud, Reverse, Valhalla Kittens, Wack Ass Egyptians, Lyres, the Real Kids, the Coffin Lids, the December Sound, the So And So's, Eyes Like Knives, the Rudds, Scamper, Mappari, Amanda Palmer, the Lot Six, Runner & the Thermodynamics, Loveless, Heavy Stud, Black Helicopter, Bon Savants
Gossip & Stuff: Ahh—we have a photo of presidential hopeful John Kerry's college band from 1961—the Electras. Erik Lindgren broke the news of this band to the Washington Post. Though he sensitively neglected to mention his own award-winning band, the Space Negroes. *** We've got a great incoming letter from Jeff Monoman Conolly's ex-girlfriend who is in a tizzy because Jeff listed a bunch of items in the previous issue that he claims she stole from him. She attempts to set the record straight by adding that Jeff was arrested for assaulting her. What was there to steal? Mice? Cockroaches? Parrot shit? *** Another piece of mail compliments the Noise Board and at the same time complains that Kenny Chambers is being slandered on the board. Someone named “Guest” claimed that Kenny swiped his riffs from Thurston Moore. *** There's a centerfold of Rotund Plant (Ray Neades) of Lard Zeppelin. In his white muumuu he looks not unlike the gigantic and constantly growing mound of February snow piled up at the end of my driveway. *** An ad appears for my other ’zine—Squirrels Etc. *** Bleu's song “I Won't Move to Hollywood” appears in two nationally released films, Mean Girls and Win a Date with Tad Hamilton. Funny that later Bleu moved to L.A. *** Kier Byrnes (Three Day Threshold) has himself arrested and thrown in jail to raise money for bail that will actually be donated to the Muscular Dystrophy Association. That’s one less thing to worry about—Kier will fit nicely into Jerry Lewis’s worn out shoes.