ME AND JOAN COLLINS
WhateverHappenedToMusic
Love. Trust. Faith. Lust.
12-song CD
Yawn. Me am made sleepy by catchy, riff-laden Bowie/Stones school of dynamic him-and-her harmony vocals. Me am bored down to there with good singing and songs that am have hooks. Me no like clever lyrics and superior production values. Why am there no showoff screaming guitars and shouting Blutos hollaring for a hamburger? Me no understand. Me especially hate “Crime of the Century” because DJs who am remember Mink DeVille and think they am smart will beg stupid childish wolfhound programmers to add it to playlist because it am so insolent and irresistible. And me am afraid to listen to “A Little Too Much” because me hate nodding head to classy outrageous spoofery. Me also hate dramatic tough-guy tough-girl whimsy so me can no listen to “All the Men That Failed You.” And “From Behind” am too much like truly great bouncy song so me am hold my ears. Me no listen! Me no listen! Me am also hate classic ballads with gorgeous melodies, so shut up! Shut up! Because me no want “Typical Asshole”! And me want “Electricity” to stop! Make it stop! And me hate sophisticated melodicism with traces of Beatles so me also hate “Maybe You Can Breathe Underwater, Tracy.” And me like long stupid songs that make no sense and come to no point so me hate “Strangest Thing” maybe most of all. Me hate interplay of epic instrumental and vocal theatrics. Why them no sing it through a cracked bullhorn? Me hate magnificent songs. Also, why am there no really short songs about homosexual heroin addicts? Instead, we am have “That’s Not What I Want” which am exciting and dynamic and am full of good feelings and hope and it am pop and... and me want ugly. Why they no give us ugly? And so me condemn the band Me and Joan Collins and me am not sorry, because is big crime to do anything perfect on Bizarro world and there am too many good songs here. Me will not listen to it two dozen times. Me will not listen to it even once. These songs am too good. Hello. (Francis DiMenno)

LEO BLAIS
Carbon Neutral Records
The Free EP
8-song CD
Wow. This is finally the perfect mix of the hippie ideology mixed with the coolest in ’90s onward alternative arrangements. Leo has some sort of magic working here and it’s very listenable, almost to the point that you wish you didn’t want to listen so much, but you do, so you do, but wish you didn’t want to, but you still do…. Wait, I’m stuck in a looping thought form here. Okay, I’m just saying that this disc is very well put together and the slightest things grab you by the ear if you dig the aforementioned sounds like alternative and ’60s hippiness. No doubt they’re very well thought out ideas, like vocal harmony swells or funk guitar riff placements or electric piano tings here and there. I should mention that Leo also has some of the coolest album covers I’ve seen, sort of Nilsson and The Point-type visuals that take you back. It’s a positive energy trip, dude. (Mike Loce)

AMPM
AMPM
11-song CD
While this album has a decidedly do it yourself, homegrown ethic, the songs are well arranged and well presented. It’s hard to think that an album can be brooding, dark, poppy, introspective, and thoughtful without sounding pompous and self important. AMPM’s debut is all those things and more. The musicianship on this album is immaculate and engaging.
Hesslein’s lead vocals seem to ooze with an easy drawl of a Grant Lee Buffalo recording, while channeling the melodic and lyrical sensibility of Mike Scott/the Waterboys. They can also jam without sounding like Phish. Recorded in just about every basement and barn in New Hampshire, this album evokes images of jamming on a rainy day with a bag of homegrown and a box of Merlot with a couple of close friends. This album seems to be mastered (if at all) really quiet, so turn up the speakers, light the candles, and play this until dawn. I did. (Joel Simches)

BEFORE THE FALL
Slow Descent
12-song CD
The voice of Misty Silva is that of a passionate, empowered woman who strives to make her voice heard, with a burning desire (or need, rather) to tell her story to the masses. Slow Descent, the band’s latest release, is expressed in the form of a highly energized, alternative assault. With a formula similar to that of Evanescence, (just one of their many influences) intense, emotive lyricism is paired with hard-hitting guitar solos and infectious melodies. Hard rock enthusiasts will take pleasure in the riffs of the album’s opener, “Vicious,” and the way in which each song to follow is as equally passionate as it is edgy, electronic and full of depth. Darkness is demonstrated through the doom and gloom of “Save Me,” as well as “Vein,” and is kicked up a notch (if that was even possible) through “Brutal,” which is well… brutal. A band such as this, a self-proclaimed “soundgasm the likes of which you’ve never heard,” surely does have something for every individual, and every musical taste. (Julia R. DeStefano)

VARIOUS ARTISTS
75orLess Records
No Qualms
43-song double-CD compilation
Not surprisingly, at 43 songs this compilation has a real hit-or-miss feel to it, and it is also just a lot to digest. There is an admirable variety in the type of bands (garage, synth pop, rockabilly, noise, etc.), but unfortunately, there is also quite a variety in the quality as well. A little editing would have gone a long way.
Still, there’s a lot to recommend here, and the proceedings start off very nicely with Clouds & Monsters channeling the layered danceable pop of bands like MGMT with “Don’t Pray.” This is the first of several songs that made me want to get up and move, most notably the Inclined’s winningly distant “Just Not the Same,” which would fit right in with all the ’80s-influenced acts currently dominating the radio, and the Cobra-Matics’ rockabilly take on AC/DC’s “The Rocker,” complete with some tastefully dexterous guitar playing from The Colonel.
This is a very male-centric collection of records, but fortunately some of the few women who do show up leave a favorable impression, particularly the peppy ’90s alt-pop of the Jesse Minute’s “Milo” and the mellower, mostly acoustic “Begging, Kicking, Screeching” by the RHD Players.
When things don’t go so smoothly, it’s largely for two reasons: embarrassing lyrics or horrible production. The two most egregious examples of the former are Suicide Bill’s “Suicide Summer” unsympathetic portrayal of a suicide victim that is probably supposed to come off as hardened or funny but is really just asinine, and Nate Laban’s “Chubby,” a nod to larger women that lacks the nuance or humor of something like Queen’s “Fat Bottomed Girls.” Many more songs fall victim to the second problem, and interestingly, they include pretty much every song (such as “Downtown” by the Blood Moons and “The Empire Will Fall” by Kingdom) that goes for dark and/or creepy. Bad production doesn’t give me the willies; it just makes me reach for the skip button. (Kevin Finn)

JONEE EARTHQUAKE BAND
Spiral Records
2009 Spring Single
8-song CD
I’d say to listen to this disc if you’re in the mood for the Ramones as well as Buddy Holly. Leave headroom for noise. That’s the range. There’s a lot of great, happy 1-4-5 “fuck you” stuff as well as some heavier punk bits that sound like your neighbor’s chainsaw on an early Sunday morning. One of the things that have gotten great about punk music as it has evolved is the introduction to things like Red Bull to its musicians. You can almost hear the heart palpitations among this frothy, fuzzy tornado of JEB. Their name almost makes them sound like some classic rock outfit, like Mountain or Heavy Tractor Freeway. But make no mistake, this is great punk energy. The disc also features a bonus track by psychoravers Tony Jones & the Cretin Three, the Pity Whores, U.S.A. Waste, Afghan Banana Stand, Weight of the World, and Massacre of the Majestic. Good times for all involved. (Mike Loce)

THE DIGGERS
8-song CD on-line
Greetings, Zortar here, alien from another world not as green and blue as yours, inhabiting that worthless hide of a scoundrel known to all law enforcement officials as Slimedog. Well, first may I say I don’t dig the Diggers. Self described as psychedelic, blues, and rock they do remind me of a time in the ’60s on your planet when bands noodled around aimlessly on their fuzz guitars with a sloppy rhythm section plodding unenergetically behind. You might think they would fall into the newer hippie jam band but most of those bands know how to play their instruments. The CD arrived with no tunes on it and was definitely more enjoyable than listening on their website. I don’t mean to be so negative but you’d be a grumpy alien too inhabiting a body where the swine flu would be a welcome release, indeed. (Slimedog)

Original (edited) Noise review from 12/86 (reissued on Merge in 2009)
VOLCANO SUNS
Homestead
All-Night Lotus Party
12-song LP
On the first Volcano Suns offering, The Bright Orange Years, production values teetered precariously close to murkiness, but “Cover,” “Promise Me,” and most of side two foreshadowed the glories of this follow-up LP, All Night Lotus Party, which rips and roars and rides roughshod over all and sundry and is anything but soft-baked: Volcano Suns are con safos (not to be fucked with) and Party proves it. This time, producer Giordano, abetted by Volcano Suns, manages to encapsulate the hard stuff and definitively bring home the bacon, non contendere.
Blow by Blow: The second you hear the percussive guitar sound kick in on “White Elephant” you know you’ve caught a whiff of Mission of Burma in all its refulgent glory, but grown a bit, more mature, a dab grey around the temples—no more over-inflated, under-inflected hard guitar snarl and bombast all the more vital for careening forward so stridently and seemingly carelessly—no—Volcano Suns here exude meaning; they signify, and musical self-aggrandizement, though present, is secondary to what Volcano Suns mean to talk about in this song, an unefflorescent series of dark musings concerning things which have become junk, including the singer his own self. “Cans” is strident, but almost unbearably lucid—Jon Williams’s guitar solo is an uncannily clever progression-and-recapitulation squeezed into under-a-minute of boldly structured, madly juttying arrangement. “Room With A View” is a brutally beautiful ballad riff, as hermetic as some forms of mountain music but tethered to the sound of post-industrialization-to-the-Nth-degree to blossom out at us as densely layered slabs of sound produced by the distinctive bass line. If “Room” approaches the conventional ballad laced with a liberal dose of metal, this approach is reversed on “Blown Stack,” full of lightning-fast bass/guitar interplay interspersed by a bracing, aberrant ballad section. “Engines” is an uncompromising blast of metal machine-era music (which just as easily could have segued out from MoB-style benevolence) in which meaning, pyrotechnics and technique merge and become explosively integrated. End of side one.

Now I wanna live the good life
But I won’t say that I care
About scratching my way to the top of the heap
And taking everybody’s share…

Peter Prescott is also con safos and the first song on side two proves it. In three minutes and twenty seconds he tells us what we’ve come to: “We always have to jump when it ‘Sounds Like Bucks.’” “Four Letters” is another love song ala “Room,” this one about a fella who never gets an answer to any of his letters and takes up weightlifting on the side. “Dot On the Map” takes a while to make its point: ”I would like to know just why/ You stay and let this town suck you dry, suck you dry;/ It’s the kind of place where sparks can never fly,/ It’s a dot on the map that’s buried in my mind, in my mind,/ It’s a step back in time, back in time…” But the point it makes is so uncommonly fine that this can be overlooked. “Village Idiot” has a great guitar/drum part at the end, and again you get the feeling that the first half of the song was constructed solely to serve as a launching pad for the second. ”Ride the Cog” is impenitent, unrelenting guitar Armageddon clear through. “Bonus Hidden Mystery Track,” is, of course, “Crotch on Fire,” produced in an appropriately smothered and murky fashion and edited down to about half its former length; the swaggering mayhem of this track provides a suitable postscript for the album, which is required music for a stand-up jump-around hoe-down in the autumn of love. Don’t ask me what that means, just get the record and see for yourself. (Francis DiMenno)

THE WINGS OF FIRE ORCHESTRA
Prospice
18-song CD
Led by rock ’n’ roll composer Jeff Pflaumbaum, the Wings of Fire Orchestra is a “six-horn, mixed vocal, five-piece rhythm section ensemble ushering in a new age of conceptual music.” With all music composed by Pflaumbaum, Prospice is “two-sided,” clocking in at about an hour. Side 1 is a ten-song cycle based on Robert Browning’s poem, “Prospice,” while Side 2 consists of four parts: “Oh Busy Air,” as well as additional tracks. Although the Orchestra is clearly talented, their sound diverse and in a class all its own, I wasn’t quite sure what to make of the album in itself. It felt more like a conglomeration of elements rather than a structured effort. As “America’s largest rock-orchestra,” I found myself disappointed in the disc. The cover artwork, in which a jockey is pointing a gun at his horse’s eye, was in poor taste and an immediate turnoff, an image I could have certainly done without. (Julia R. DeStefano)

JULIE WHITE
Julie White
9-song CD
Ms. White’s lyrics strike me as somewhat anodyne and prosaic. But her vocal melodies are gentle and filled with a certain lilting calm, and the often quasi-jazzy instrumental accompaniment is sophisticated and always well-suited as a backdrop to her lovely though but by no means particularly powerful or intriguingly variegated vocal presence. Nevertheless, the many excellences found here raise this effort above the run-of-the-mill. Her affecting lilting vocal turns on “Meet Me in the Middle,” “One Way Mind,” and, in particular, “Empty Hand,” are especially appealing. (Francis DiMenno)

STARNES & SHAH
Pink White Blue Green
13-song CD
“Magical” is perhaps the best term to describe the folk-rock duo of Dania Abu-Shaheen and Zilpha Starnes. As women from completely different backgrounds, the two effortlessly meet in the middle to craft instantly likeable songs, each bringing their own experiences to the table in the process. With an acoustic EP and a previously released full-length album under their belt, Pink White Blue Green is a symbol of growth, reminiscent of artists such as Hazeldine, Ryan Adams and the Cardinals and even Boston’s own Avi & Celia. Tracks such as the melodic opener, “Romance the Throne,” as well as the sexualized undertones of “Saturn Starter Home” and the ever-changing world as seen through “Rocket Science,” could easily be heard on the radio any given day of the week. “Teeth,” “Fit, Fit, Fit” and “Confetti” are especially effective and “ear-catching” through means of repetition. In terms of originality, each song soars with harmonies, intricacies unlike anything this reviewer has heard before. Only time will tell, but the talented ladies of Starnes & Shah could very well be the next big thing to hit the music community. (Julia R. DeStefano)

KIRSTEN MANVILLE & DAVE SIMMONS
Things You Learn
10-song CD
It’s obvious from the start that Kirsten Manville and Dave Simmons love to play diverse styles of acoustic pop, folk, bluegrass, and soft jazz. The two songwriters complement each other perfectly, each supplying sweet harmony and melodic counterpoint. Manville’s songs have a certain naivety lyrically and could use a little help in the intonation department and sadly the performances tend to lack a certain amount of soul, especially their cover of Bill Withers’ “Ain’t No Sunshine.” At its best, this album is a celebration of the songwriting form, but at its worst, there is little real sense of passion or intensity. The two seem to shy away from allowing themselves to feel any real emotion with the material, and as such, the songs seem a little too sunny and superficial. Simmons and Manville both like to over-enunciate each word and place so much emphasis on their rhyme scheme, as if they are teaching a course in basic songwriting instead of writing songs that engage the mind. I had to stop listening after the Joan Armatrading cover. It just goes downhill from there and not in the good way. (Joel Simches)

VARIOUS ARTISTS
Heavy Rotation Records
Dorm Sessions 6
18-song CD
The sixth in a series, Dorm Sessions is the latest compilation released by Berklee College of Music’s student-managed Heavy Rotation Records. Available on CD, digital and vinyl formats, the album is a nine-act, 18-track showcase of students and alumni through genres of rock, pop, folk, hip-hop, R&B, and funk. As Nini & Ben, Christina Fabi and guitarist Benjamin Gebert capture Americana roots rock with “Down the Road” and “Mother.” Owen Ross, Chris Holdridge, Andrew Plourd, Jeremy Vovsko, Cliff Kuhn-Lloyd, Bryan Percivall, Cole DeGenova, and Keith Dickerhofe put an intriguing spin on soulful melodies as the hip-hop outfit, Re-Up. Both “Re-Up” and “Work” demonstrate the group’s ability to use a horn section to provide “colorful riffs.” Patrik Gochez and Alex Britten, “two songwriters brought together by rock, roll, and a bowl of chili,” shine as White Shoe Brown Shoe. Their approach is adventurous and carefree, evident through “Mama Tierra” and “Off to the Races.” Dorm Sessions, though its selections are not always to my taste, displays varying degrees of talent and skill within the Boston scene. (Julia R. DeStefano)

ZAGNUTT
Garden Variety
8-song CD
Dennis Coffey & the Detroit Guitar Band, Traffic, the Edgar Winter Band, and many other funk-psychedelic jam-band outfits of the early ’70s are perhaps by some stretch of the imagination now undeservedly neglected, but there seems to me to be no compelling reason at this time to produce an entire album of admittedly nearly flawless replicants of same. (Francis DiMenno)

JENNY DEE & THE DEELINQUENTS
5 songs on-line
The genre of music that I would say is the most critically overlooked or underappreciated would be ’60s girl group music. I think once the hippies took over in the later ’60s, music like this was dismissed as merely commercial. Which was too bad since most of that hippie music was self-indulgent crap. So if you’re in my mind where the Shirelles are right up there with the Beatles and Stones you’ll be pleased as punch to hear that this three female vocalist fronted band adds Motown and ’60s R&B to their mix. Not only have these ladies and gentlemen picked wonderful styles to be influenced by but they sing and play great and have the style and sound down to perfection. And visually are a hoot to see live (lime green wedding jackets for the guys). So no joke, if you like girl group music (I’m sorry, hippies, “woman group music”), Motown, and soul, don’t be delinquent in checking them out. (Slimedog)

PAWNSHOP DIAMONDS
Pawnshop Diamonds
6-song CD
The charm in this recording is its attempt to capture the classic sounds of Bad Company, Black Crowes, and the Faces without any sense of homage, parody, or overblown reverence for the style. They just do it and do it well. The six songs presented here are replete with soulful vocal acrobatics Paul Rodgers wishes he could still do without the tight pants, guitar sounds Page himself couldn’t conjure with the best ouija boards, and grooves that Bonzo took with him to the grave. Pawnshop Diamonds is just a pleasant listen with some very tasty playing. Please make more music. (Joel Simches)

MR. FYNER & THE TECH ED ROOM
Big Cartel
Mr. Fyner & the Tech Ed Room
4-song CD
This album follows in the musical footsteps of Boston greats like Harris and the Appreciation Post. Despite the painfully ironic band name, Mr. Fyner & the Tech Ed Room have a very slick emo/indie ethic, reminiscent of At the Drive-In, Mars Volta, RATM, and a few others I’m too lazy to mention. The sawtooth synthlines compliment the heavy guitar grind perfectly and the vocal goes from a whimper to a scream with a precision only matched by the immaculate tom tom work on this EP. There may be nothing groundbreaking here (this band is soooooo 2005!!), but this EP definitely sounds ready for television. (Joel Simches)

THE MODERN ELITE
3 songs online
It’s not easy to pull off blending heavy throwback vibes from, say, the ’90s, with a modern indie pop feel, and vocals that deliver with punk rock passion, but the Modern Elite achieves just that energy. After listening to these tunes several times, I found myself each time noticing a new genre twist somewhere in every tune—and they make it work! “Come Around” has a slight Foo Fighter-ish feel with punky rock overtones; “It’s Okay” shows how they rock it heavy; “When You Wake” was my least favorite but it made me notice the drummer greatness. Overall, I really dug it. (Debbie Catalano)

MATT ROMERO
Act II: How The West Was Won
4-song CD
Having not heard “Act I,” I feel a little out of the loop listening to Matt Romero’s latest. It is hard to take seriously any artist who thanks his ex-girlfriends, Chris Cornell, and Scott Weiland, though one can concede the former for lyrical inspiration and the latter to insure the mediocrity of its execution. Musically, this CD sounds like an attempt to capture the poppy side of NIN’s 2005 With Teeth album. The production sounds are practically lifted wholesale, as are some chord progressions and melodies. If this guy had any remote chance of making a single dime with this EP, Trent should “lawyer up.” Seriously. (Joel Simches)

AGREE TO DISAGREE
Trial By Fire
3-song CD
This band from the South Shore cites influences like Rise Against and Green Day, but sounds exactly like the hastily put together band that plays a church youth dance and gets asked to leave before their third song. While the potential for greatness is there, Bonnie Shaw’s vocal style is flat and lifeless and the guitarists need to invest in a tuner. The band feels on the verge of a trainwreck, struggling to keep it together long enough to finish their song and wait for someone’s mom to come and take them to the mall to buy stage clothes. I’m willing to bet that the band will break up during their first photo shoot. Considering their “origin story” on their MySpace, it’s totally plausible. This band makes me want to kick an orphan. (Joel Simches)

If you’re band or act is based in New England, and would like your CD reviewed, send it to: T Max/ the Noise, 74 Jamaica Street, Jamaica Plain, MA. Then please be patient—we’ll get to it as soon as we can.

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