STAGE MISHAPS

Rita: While Lolita desperately tries to get more free merch sent to her, I’ll ask the next Question of the Month. And that question is “What the worst mishap you’ve seen on stage?” D-TENSION (Los Wunder Twins del Rap): People tell me that I should never repeat this story but... I was playing a gig at Bill’s Bar. There was this girl in the front row wearing a pair of those giant, oversized, carnival sunglasses that covered her entire face. Throughout the set she was causing a scene, acting like she was going to flash her boobs. As the set went on she was more and more provocative to the point that she was the show and we were background music. So I stopped the show, looked at her and said “we all know you’re gonna whip those bad boys out, let’s get it over with already.” She lifts up her shirt, the crowd cheers, and the show continues. After the show she comes up to me and says, “I wanna make out with you” and plants her mouth on mine. I had to push her off of me and when I did her glasses fell off, revealing that she had Down syndrome. My bad. Kept playing though. *** JIM SULLIVAN (Herald/ jimsullivanink.com): Lux Interior at the Channel, pissed off at stage divers, threatened one particular kid that he’d clock him if he came up again. Sure enough, the kid jumped up and Lux executed a left-right KO punch. The kid did not return. I suppose some might not call this a mishap but rough justice. *** AJDA THE TURKISH QUEEN (Black Fortress of Opium): I once saw the Archers of Loaf, and one band member fell offstage onto a trash can. Pretty funny! *** BRIAN KING (What Time Is It, Mr. Fox?): The onstage mishap that I have unfortunately witnessed time and time again is hearing a performer tell an audience to be quiet and listen. This usually results in a bunch of people feeling held captive, and not in a good way. If they’re not listening, then either you’re not doing your job or you’re playing to the wrong room. Know your audience. People are out to have a good time and relate, not indulge your ego. If your fans can’t hear over the drunken idiots (as at a recent PJ Harvey concert), it’s up to them to tell their neighbors to shut the fuck up. *** ANDERSON MAR (Dark Sky Productions/ Paul Green School of Rock): School of Rock was doing a Summer Camp performance at the Cambridge YMCA Theatre last August 17th, when suddenly, the pipes in the sprinkler system above the stage burst and everyone was a deluged with a torrential shower! Fortunately none of our equipment was damaged, but I’m now convinced that my life is afflicted by a sprinkler system curse. First Skybar, and now this! *** DAVE WESTNER (Woolly Mammoth Sound/ Torey Pines): I have seen Sean Staples (Jabe/ Session Americana) fall off the stage twice, and take at least three more tumbles on stage without falling off. *** DAVID JACKEL (the Daily Pravda): While playing the opening song of a set, I couldn’t hear my vocals in the monitors. I signaled frantically to the sound guy for more vocals, but he just shrugged his shoulders. After we finished the song he discovered and explained the cause of the problem over the PA: “Sorry, I had the vocal channel on mute.” *** BUBBA GRIMM (the Shadows Smile): One of the funniest mishaps on stage occurred when we went to play in Pennsylvania at the Sterling Hotel in 2007. There was this act from the Midwest that had a laptop, a singer, and a guy playing with little puppets on strings. Well, they were in the middle of there set the laptop was already on the fritz when one of the puppets broke into a million pieces and fell of the stage. The puppeteer slowly jumped of the stage and was on the floor on his hands and knees picking up all the body parts of this puppet. It was sad. *** ERIK LINDGREN (Birdsongs of the Mesozoic/ Arf Arf Records): I recall playing Cantones in the winter of 1977 with the Moving Parts, who went under the moniker Space Negros that night. I had the two back legs of my Fender Rhodes with a Minimoog supported on two large coffee cans and, well, you can imagine what happened when I hit the final chord for a big ending of one of our songs. Fortunately nothing broke and we finished the set after I set up my rig for the remainder of our set. *** JOHNNY ANGEL (the Blackjacks): The destruction of Johnny Angel’s meniscus cartilege, right knee, onstage fall, June 1979, Thrills opening for Ramones. PETER RINNIG (QRST's): I had gone to see Aerosmith in Providence on Halloween a long time ago. At one point during the show, Steve Tyler attempted to do a flip and ended up flat on his back. All the other guys in Aerosmith played on for about one or two songs stepping over him—not realizing he was not moving. They then cancelled the rest of the show and the next day the review said that Tyler had "food poisoning"—yeah right. *** JOE COUGHLIN (the Noise): The old Boston band Harlequin actually BROKE UP onstage, in the middle of a song, at Bunratty’s. Members just unplugged and walked out the door one by one, and they never played again. I’ve never seen a soundman (or almost anyone, really) laugh that hard in my life. Lolita: Harlequin also holds another Boston distinction—they played in two Rumbles (1979 and 1980). It must have been before the one Rumble rule was made.