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Issue 303/ July/August 2010
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OUR EYES ON YOU: Oct 2009 |
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Page 4 of 7
LOLITA’S DEBUT QUESTION
Lolita: Wow, this may be the first time that Rita has ever let me make up a Question of the Month without her assistance. Since I’m already in my nurse’s outfit, I’ll ask all my friends (my make believe patients) to give me their symptoms, and I’ll give each of them a diagnosis—free of charge. Hey! Evan—you look a little hung over—what are your symptoms? EVAN GAVRY (Three Day Threshold): Every once in a while I wake up in a cold sweat, with a headache and stomach pains. It’s usually after a Three Day Threshold gig. I think someone told me once it’s called the Irish flu, but WebMD doesn’t have any information on it. What do you recommend? Lolita: I’m glad you brought this up. Tell that diseased Betty O’Sullivan that you’re not a trampoline and you don’t enjoy being hit in the head with an ice hammer. If she cooperates, you should recover in a couple of weeks. If not, I recommend that you come to my clinic whenever you think she’s following you home. I will give you a free examination—I need someone to practice on with my scalpel anyway. Rita: Sorry, I forgot my eye patch. What’s this? Is Evan’s answer the only one you got? Lolita: I don’t understand. I tried to look really good to attract a lot people. I thought I was doing fine. I had a line that stretched from Mark Sandman Square to the EMF building—but when Evan ran away from me screaming, the entire line disbursed. Since I have no more answers maybe I can share with our readers that I’ve been enjoying open mics lately. They are all over the place. If you are running an open mic, invite us to it and we'll give you a plug. Rita: Are you expecting something in return? Lolita: Well, maybe I can just get up and sing. Rita: Well, isn’t that what’s supposed to happen at an open mic?
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Rita & Lolita 
