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OUR EYES ON YOU: Oct 2009 |
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ELVIRA & THE CRAWLING HAND
Rita & Lolita: Rita and Lolita from Georgetown, Massachusetts, at your service. Rita: We’re all settled into our new office now. We have a desk, filing cabinet, shelves, lights… Lolita: …including two lava lamps… Rita: …a fliptop Ampeg amp… Lolita: …we need to rehearse between paragraphs… Rita: …and a variety of birds that sing on the hour, every hour. Lolita: That’s our clock. Rita: We’re ready to deliver an outstanding Halloween column to you at this very moment. Lolita: I’m putting on my costume right now—don’t try to look around the page to see me half undressed. I need privacy while I transform into Elvira. Rita: I, on the hand, have a very creative costume. I AM the crawling hand. Did you ever see that one? Lolita: Was that you up my thigh on my last Match.com date? Rita: No! I mean the 1963 film about a hand that is able to live on it’s own. Lolita: Wow, does he have his own apartment and pay the rent? Rita: No! It was the detached hand of an astronaut whose mission was aborted and his hand was found in the wreckage that fell back to earth. Lolita: Oh, so he had to give up his apartment. Wait a second—does that mean that you are going to sever your body from your hand? Rita: No, my whole body will be one big severed hand. Lolita: That’s got to be one of the worst costume ideas I ever heard. Rita: Well, remind me to skip any treats for you. I’m placing you on my trick list. Hey, that gives me an idea for our Question of the Month. Lolta: Right. Are you going to ask, what’s the worst idea you ever had for a Halloween costume? Rita: No. Let’s ask some local musicians to tell us about Halloween tricks. Lolita—look! There’s your favorite Barnie. Quick—go ask Pete. Lolita: But I don’t quite have my push-up bra adjusted correctly—you think Pete will mind? Rita: Just go find out about his experiences with tricks!
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Rita + Lolita 
