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Issue 303/ July/August 2010


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Rita + Lolita
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WEATHER COMPLAINT

Lolita: I’d like to file an official complaint with the weather master. We did not get enough summer in 2009. Please see to it that that doesn’t happen again. Rita: You do know there is no real weather master. It’s not like there’s a Webmaster who controls weather. Lolita: I’m glad you mentioned that because I know I’ve been told it’s impossible, but right now I would like to predict the crash of the Internet in 2018. I figured I’d mention it to ensure that AL GORE is ready with a back-up file. Rita: Well, getting back to your original statement, let’s ask a question that everyone can relate to. Lolita: Like, will we get as much snow in the winter as we got rain in the beginning of the summer? Rita: There’s nothing like getting multi answers of “yes” and “no.” Those answers won’t really fill out our column very well. Lolita: Okay then let’s ask, do you sense that Rita is unpleasantly sarcastic most of the time? Rita: Calm down Lolita, and go find some nice people who’d like to tell you what they miss most about the warm weather. Lolita: Yeah, that’s a pretty lame question, but maybe I can dress it up by wearing a white bikini that shows off my tan while I ask the question. Rita: Great idea—look there’s Chuck riding his bike with his dog on his back—quick go ask him. Lolita: Right. I’m on it. Chuck—hey Chuck! Thanks for stopping. Could you tell me the one thing you miss about the warmer weather? And what’s your dog’s name? Chuck: Solo—wooof-woof.
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