Issue #318 - Feb '12

NURSES

Lolita: Hey Dave-times-four—tell me a story about a nurse. DAVID MIRABELLA (the Rationales): Recently an older relative was in the hospital, listening to his iPod when a young nurse came in and asked him what he was listening to. “Levon Helm, but you probably don’t know him,” he said, assuming she didn’t know her rock history. She replied “Oh my god! I LOVE the Band and just went to see a Last Waltz tribute show at a club called the Lizard Lounge, but you probably haven’t heard of it.” He got a kick out of the dual wrong assumptions, particularly since he knew the Rationales had played that show. *** DAVID KIRKDORFFER (the Blank Attack/ Undo): My darling sweetheart is a charge nurse in an emergency room. The stories she tells about her work and ERs would horrify you. Like police officers and firefighters, ER nurses are on the front line. Anytime I think I have a bad day at work, I know my “bad day” is tame compared to hers. Nobody dies on me, or needs a catheter inserted, or needs a sponge bath to remove caked on “dirt,” or brings their psychotic family members along, or threatens to sue me. She’s my hero. *** DAVID DELUCA (Highway Ghosts): I have a nurse story. My daughter, Danielle, was born five weeks premature and weighed a mere 3lbs 9oz. She had to stay in the hospital for two weeks. One particular nurse, Bella, really stood out. She told me (in a heavy Russian accent) “you don’t worry about this one… she’s feisty.” Over the next two weeks, Bella taught me all about caring for a premature baby. Her confidence and amazing nursing skills gave my entire family the reassurance that we desperately needed. Lolita: Good answer. David: Thank you. I should also mention that the nurse was right! Danielle is now about 17 lbs and very healthy and happy. *** DAVE TREE (SuperPower/DrugWar/Tree): My grandmother was a nurse and so is my little sister Ellen. She works at Brigham & Women's in the ICU. She called me up one day to visit a terminally ill patient that was a big Tree fan. I went and hung out with him one afternoon and brought him a bunch of cool stuff. He was a great guy. My sister’s gift touched us both very deeply. It was an honor. He passed away a few days later. Doctors can fix you but it’s the nurses that heal you.*** BRIAN KING (What Time Is It, Mr. Fox?):When I was four, I had to stay in Children’s Hospital for awhile. A family friend bought me a toy police set to cheer me up, including handcuffs that could only be unlocked with a key. A very timid nurse on her first day of work soon found herself handcuffed to my bedpost. The key was nowhere to be found. The other nurses had to saw her free as she held back the tears. I publicly apologize for any emotional damage I might have caused. Or if she’s become a dominatrix as a result, I wish her a lucrative career. *** SAMMY MIAMI (Houndstone): My grandmother was a nurse in the United States Army. While stationed overseas during World War II she tended to sick, wounded and dying soldiers. After the war, she raised a family while continuing as a volunteer nurse for disabled veterans. She was a truly amazing woman that I will forever miss. There’s more to the story written in a song I call “Grandma.” *** GENO JOHNSTON (Dead Friends): When I was a kid I had several eye operations. The recovery room at Children’s Hospital in Boston was bewildering because I woke up blind, sick, and terrified. I was probably about seven. Then a nurse came in to take off my patches and she looked exactly like Florence Henderson of the Brady Bunch. And get this! It said Nurse Brady on her nametag! She was kind, comforting, and made the whole process as pleasant as possible. Nurse Brady also let me believe she was in fact Mrs. Brady from the Brady Bunch. Obviously I haven’t forgotten her. *** RICK BERLIN (self): My friend Charlie—sick in Prague: a well-conditioned, hot, middle-aged blonde, tight pantsuit, glossy magazines under one arm, disappears behind a mystery door. One of three on a yellow wall opening and closing like cuckoo clocks. What’s going on in there? Prague porn? She emerges, mild sweat on brow, an elder statesman MD to translate. She dyke-straddles a stainless steel three-legged stool, knees apart, nose in Charlie’s mouth. Ungloved fingers up nostrils, into throat, gums, under tongue—unperturbed. He gags. A twelve-minute exam. Translator exits. Nurse writes up pills. Charlie is oddly pleased. Lolita: What a strange experience. Rick: Sadly, the end results was HIV-positive. *** BILL GOFFRIER (Big Dipper/ the Embarrassment): My favorite ever nurse, Big Dipper bassist/ songwriter/ tour-mom Steve Michener, an RN in the state of Washington. *** FRANCIS DIMENNO (Wrong Hero/ the Noise): At about the age of seven I fell off a slide and was sent to the hospital with a broken wrist and a fractured skull. The doctor had to stitch my scalp without anesthesia, and he kept saying “Just one more... just one more....” The nurse, who was standing by, kept saying, “Stop lying to him, Frank!” Lolita: Ha! I love that. At least now we know how you became the Wrong Hero.

NEWS OF N.E. MUSIC

Rita: Wow, knowing the story of how the Wrong Hero came into being is just like knowing the origins of Superman. Only the Wrong Hero is an actual person. He can’t bend steel in his bare hands, but he can write a CD review. Lolita: No, that’s like talking about Clark Kent as if he were Superman. Get it straight—Francis DiMenno writes the reviews, the Wrong Hero just does everything wrong. Lolita: Okay, let’s get on with the news that someone may understand… While BABALOO takes a break from performances, lead singer BRUNO MOLTO is teaching a Women’s Extreme Self-Defense Class at Spontaneous Celebrations in Jamaica Plain. Classes are every Thursday at 6:30 pm and are $10 for an hour. *** NICOLE TAMMARO is working on her third book—this one is called Boston Rock. *** BRETT MILANO is doing local radio show, The Sound of Our Town on WBCN HD on Sundays 3:00-5:00pm. *** High school bands interested in participating in the High School Band Brawl should complete the submission process at TotalPatriots.com by May 21. The competition is planned for June 6 (11:00 am) at Gillette Stadium. *** BLEU, past resident of Boston and winner of the 2001 Rumble, is now writing songs for American Idol and the Jonas Brothers. *** CCTV in Central Square is coming up on its 500th show (due to air in August), but they’ve also are dealing with having to move because an increase in the rent. *** WILL DAILEY signed the Think Outside the Bottle pledge. Think Outside the Bottle is a campaign working to promote, protect, and ensure public funding for our public water systems while cutting down on plastic toxicity and waste. Lolita: Here I thought Will was getting on the wagon.

FISH

Rita: While Lolita tries to hitch a ride on Will’s wagon, I’m going to ask people what kind of fish they like to eat. Pete, what fish do you prefer on your dinner table? PETE WEISS (the Weisstronauts/ Sool/ Verdant Studio): Brook trout. It’s delicate, flaky, tasty, and sustainable. Makes for a nice paté, too. *** MARK KATES (Fenway Recordings): Salmon. It is delectable, whether poached, grilled, smoked, or sushi. Preferably in Wellfleet or nearby! *** LIZ LINDER (photographer): Shellfish. Because they are the best fish, obviously. Lolita: Well, that sounds like a very shellfish thing to say. I’m sure there are some people who prefer the sad qualities of bluefish, the holiness of mackerel, or the multi-hugs given by the octopus. *** KAREN DeBIASSE (Girl On Top): I like all seafood. See food and eat it. *** SHAUN WOLF WORTIS (Galo Malo): Monkfish—just absolutely delicious, and usually wild and locally caught. I have nothing funny or clever to add to this. All I can say is monkfish! *** PETE SUTTON (the Vivs): Shrimp for the simple reason that it’s one of those perfect foods God created that cannot be improved upon, sort of like hot Italian sausage and chocolate cupcakes... those are also God created, right? Rita: Yes, I just Googled your question and there is a reference in the Bible of Jesus breaking one sweet miniature chocolate cake at a birthday party to feed all the 35 guests. You can always count on the facts on the information superhighway. *** BRUCE ALLEN (the Doom Buggies): The only fish I eat are Swedish fish—the original Swedish erotica. Now they are common, but when I was a kid up in Maine, they were a rare, sweet, exotic delicacy. I would walk into the corner store where they sold them individually for a penny and say, “How much for the whole box?” *** CHRIS BRAT (the Acro-brats/ By the Throat/ Jason Bennett & the Resistance/ the Spoilers): I like shrimp wrapped in bacon because it’s wrapped in bacon. That’s a fish, yeah? *** VINYL VON RICCI (Mahi Mahi): My favorite fish to eat is salmon. I used to hate it because of its fishy flavor, but then I realized that it’s delicious and I was wrong. I love it as a filet, pan seared with horseradish butter. *** RAY MASON (Ray Mason Band/ Lonesome Brothers): I’m currently enjoying all fish as those Omega-3s supposedly help to lower your triglycerides! *** DWIGHT SOAKUM (Saliva Slingers): Favorite fish? I like cooking up octopus. As a matter of fact I’m chopping up suckers right now! (we’re a rap group). *** BOB GOBRON (Shakyfoot): My favorite fish to eat is the one striper I take per year to grill. Since I have a self-imposed one-fish-kept-per-year limit, I have very strict criteria. The fish must be just over the 29” length limit and about 15 lbs. I do this because smaller, younger fish have not had much time to accumulate toxins in their flesh. Also, I don’t like stripers that have been on bunker—too oily. Once we pulled a 4 lb. lobster out of a 15 lb. striper and man if that fish didn’t taste just like lobster. Yum. Lolita: Wow—were you able to eat the lobster too—or was it already digested too much? Bob: We thought about it, for sure. It wasn’t digested at all. Probably wasn’t in the fish’s belly for more than an hour, but it was already dead (the carapace was cracked a little, probably when it got swallowed) and it’s never a good idea to eat a dead lobster. Another time we had a striper on that puked up a pogie when it got near the boat and we saw the pogie take off like a shot. Oh, I gots me some fishin’ stories. *** KEN FIELD (Revolutionary Snake Ensemble/Birdsongs of the Mesozoic/Agachiko/Musaner): Salmon, but what’s up with the silent “L”? Rita: I just Googled your question and found that many years ago the head salmon statesmen got together and decided they needed to distance themselves from possibly being mistaken for salesmen, so they agreed to silence the L. I swear by the information highway. Ken: Uhh, thanks for clearing that up. *** CARLENE BAROUS (Carlene Barous Band): I like any fish that tastes like chicken—like Gorton’s Fish Sticks and Filet o’ Fish. I also enjoy whole fish happy family, which is best seared in its own juices. Floundering seems to be popular. *** ALAN COHEN (…Experience): My favorite seafood to eat is Swedish fish, in a dish with a knish, watching the commish. So delish! *** NOLAN SULLIVAN (ITtheverb): Lobster is easily the best fish to eat any time, anywhere, any day. Lolita: I took a tour in Maine one time and they said that lobster was fed to the slaves all the time—seven days a week. Slaves finally were able to write it into their contracts that they would get something other than lobster one day a week. Rita: Who knew they had slaves in Maine? T Max: Who knew that the slaves had contracts?

MUSICAL CHAIRS

Rita: Lolita off on a mental vacation to Maine, so I’m going to see what I can dig up on relatively new bands that have emerged. Wow—I’ve got to see this band—NAKED ON ROLLER SKATES. We can just picture LEESA COYNE, TRAVIS RICHTER, RANDY CREASI, and KELLY DAVIDSON skating around on stage. *** THE CATBIRDS consist of STEVE WOOD, RIKKI BATES, DINTY CHILD, and CHANDLER TRAVIS. Their Boston-area debut was on 4/8 at the Lizard Lounge. *** TONY SAVARINO’s new band, TONY SAVARINO & THE SATANIC LOUNGE SYNDICATE, performs tunes from Tony’s upcoming solo CD Guitaring. *** GABRIELLE AGACHIO (Buck Moon) has a project called AGACHIKO that plays music by and inspired by Nina Simone. *** TONY GODDESS (Jenny Dee & the Deelinquents) and his wife SAMMANTHA GODDESS are part of THE LINDSAY BUCKINGHAM ADMAIRATION SOCIETY and will perform Tusk in its entirety at the Lizard Lounge on Friday, 5/15. *** BLACK THAI includes JIM HEALEY (We’re All Gonna Die), SCOTT O’DOWD (Cortez), COREY COCOMAZZI (Voda), and one of our favorite Boston drummers JEREMY HEMMOND (Cortez). *** THE JEREMIAH WEED FOUNDATION is a new combo with JOEY PESCE, KEN SCHOPF, and SHAWN WOLF WORTIS. Lolita: These guys look like that should be in a band together.

MAY 15 – ARMED FORCES DAY

Rita: I have to admit I never heard of this holiday, but it’s labeled on my calendar—May 15 is Armed Forces Day. How will you be celebrating this holiday? KIER BYRNES (Three Day Threshold): We’re sending a bunch of free copies of our new CD, Straight Out of the Barrel to some of the servicemen and women we met last year when Three Day Threshold did a military tour for the U.S. troops stationed overseas. *** MARK BRYANT (Plimro Records): I’ll be putting on my Green Shirt with the Big Boys and providing Senior Service for Oliver’s Army. We’ll start by searching for two Little Hitlers who were last seen tormenting a Party Girl in a so-called “Chemistry Class.” After that I’ll be joining the Goon Squad to determine the new Moods For Moderns. But you never know, Accidents Will Happen and at the end of it all I’ll probably just ask, What’s So Funny ’bout Peace Love and Understanding? *** PETER C. JOHNSON (Peter C. Johnson): I’ll be at the veterans’ hospital continuing my work as an intern on the addictions unit. I’m seeing a lot of young men and women coming back with opiate addictions and PTSD. It’s heartbreaking. I skipped out on my generation’s war, so it feels good being part of the recovery process in this one. *** SLIMEDOG (the Noise): I will be enjoying Armed Forces Day in the same way as I believe many of you will be celebrating this holiday. I will be dressing up my three pet cockatoos in different military regalia—one in the army, navy, etc. Then I dress up much like General Patton and we reenact the Battle of Iwo Jima. It’s quite smashing though a bit bloody at times. *** JEFF BREEZE (CBOP): I always forget to do anything special for this day. I do usually remember to listen to the whole album for My Aim Is True day. I like that one far better. *** CARL BIANCUCCI (the Fighting Cocks): I will re-enlist in the Kiss army. *** EDRIE (Walter Sickert & the Army of Broken Toys): I will celebrate Armed Forces Day as I celebrate every Armed Forces Day, by donning my red, white, and blue nipple tassels, straw cowboy hat, and red leather boots and going to the top of Bunker Hill to sing the entirety of the “The Salute to the Armed Forces” whilst twirling those tassles in the concentric circles—really no better way to support our troops. *** CHUCK U. ROSINA (WMBR/ WMFO): Armed Forces Day??? We already have Memorial Day, and Veterans Day (which used to be Armistice Day—commemorating peace, not war). Enough already. I guess I’ll spend part of the day listening to the music of Sgt. Maxwell’s Peace Chorus. Lolita: What a great segue to plug Sgt. Maxwell’s, I mean T MAX’s, upcoming CD, Why Do We Go to War? T sings and plays everything except the jet engine guitar by MIKE LOCE (the Doublenecks) on the title track. The CD is already getting airplay—thanks to Chuck U.

ALL GOIN’ OUT TOGETHER

Lolita: Come and join me at these cool events: RICK PAIGE presents the Allston Johnny D’s reunion on Saturday, 5/1, at Church featuring THE TURBINES. *** The finals of the Rock Showdown on Sunday 5/2 (12:30 pm) at the Center for the Arts in Natick will include AWESOME EXPRESS (from Wellesley, Needham, and Newton), THE JESSICA PROUTY BAND (from Marblehead), THE DEADLY STYLES (from Sudsbury) and BLINDFOLD ASIDE (from Boston). *** JORDAN VALENTINE & THE SUNDAY SAINTS are at T.T. the Bear’s on Wednesday, 5/5. *** SLIP KID (featuring GARY and MARCUS CHERONE) play their Who tribute at the Hard Rock Café on Friday, 5/7. *** BIG CATHOLIC GUILT (1992 Rumble champs) was known for their big sound and fabulous light show. They’re back to play on Saturday, 5/8, at the Middle East Downstairs. *** Same night INCUS spreads the good vibes at the Cantab. *** Our favorite master of the beat-box keyboard, B.J. SNOWDEN, plays Zuzu on Monday, 5/10. *** On Wednesday, 5/12, Mass Art Invades the Armory—many different genres of music mix with many different mediums of art. It's an all-ages show at 7:00 at the Somerville Armory. *** Come to CARMELITA’s Roast at the Magic Room on Friday, 5/14. ASA BREBNER & FRIENDS and T MAX perform. It’s a benefit for the animal rescue league Help Save One. *** On Saturday, 5/15, PORT CHARLES QUINTET headline at the Cantab. *** JASON BENNET & THE RESISTANCE are at Great Scott on Monday, 5/17. *** THREE DAY THRESHOLD slam the Middle East upstairs on Friday, 5/21. *** Lastly, on Saturday, 5/29, TOM WAITSIAN headlines at Precinct. Lolita: After going to all those shows I’m going to admit myself into the hospital so I can get a sponge bath from nurse Robert. Rita: You do know that nurse Robert is none other than ROBBIE ROADSTEAMER pretending to be a nurse! Ha! See you next month!

Coming Up!